LambdaDelta

Along same lines as #285

1. No experience is ever delusional, only your interpretations and judgments of it can be. Take being in pain for instance; one can be deluded regarding where, when, why, how, to whom the pain is happening (e.g. to a human on planet Earth in the year such and such, due to some stimuli which trigger sensory neurons to send certain signals to the cerebral cortex), or be closer to the truth through consciousness of the fact that God is imagining the whole thing, yet the experience itself is absolute regardless of how it is viewed. The latter without the former is quite bland and shallow though. All the relative truths derived by science and such will enrich your spirituality to no end. Awakening allows to see the biggest possible picture, the axiomatic bedrock of I AM, which then leaves you free to seamlessly integrate that which is called falsehood, deepening God-realization top-down, bottom-up, laterally, in loops, or any which way. God knows all of human anatomy, physics, mathematics, psychology, languages perfectly, so striving to do the same is as much a part of becoming more godlike as being more loving and selfless (however there's a trick to how most of that knowing is acquired). Knowing how to properly wield the interpretative power of mind is of utmost importance, most use it to create semi-coherent self-serving fantasies with limited practical use, but it is wiser to direct towards deconstruction. What remains after all the deconstruction has been done is Truth, that's how you know it to be true. Now that line of thinking generates additional questions of how to know whether the instrument used to interpret has sufficient capacity, how to know when to stop, and so on, but there's various means that can mixed and matched (logic, intuition...) to resolve it all. The short of it is to ceaselessly look for the answer to what Infinity is, which is only possible through a combination of epistemology and ontology. 2. In my understanding you cannot, God's mind is perfectly coherent, nothing can happen by accident like that, but more importantly to lose the ability to fool itself would be to lose intelligence itself, which is an inalienable property of God and therefore impossible. For you the human all sorts of mishaps can happen – frying your brain from too much 5-MeO or becoming wholly nihilistic from the loss of meaning, the list goes on. All the existential fears you still possess represent the disparity between your mind and God's, yet exercising caution remains important. It's very good practice you're doing of questioning all of your most powerful awakenings from time to time. It is as you see, if they were really true, the questioning will only reinforce them. And if not, you're left with a mystery more profound than ever before. In other words, the real question is not whether the experience was 'legit', but what are the implications of having experienced it.

Definitely does. But it can have the opposite adverse effect of muddying the waters, especially for someone as sensitive as Leo. It's a matter of personal preference really. I've been planning to do this combo, will try soon-ish and report back. The only concern is to time injecting the 5-MeO correctly, before the LSD comeup gets intense enough to screw with vision.

Well I'm with you there, I was just making an attempt at humor. Though being clueless about the true nature of something doesn't preclude love, just makes it of a different flavor and degree. There's a certain cute innocence that's lost with this work, of just being a human in a finite material universe loving your family and nature. Seen negatively it's ignorance, corruption; positively it's childlike purity. Maybe I'm just attracted to that since I never had it to begin with. Before God I wasn't alive in any meaningful sense whatsoever, yet even now with all the deconstruction, peak states, and integrating divinity into the mundane, there's that piece missing, on which I have more clarity now. Like you said, there's costs and responsibilities to higher consciousness, that forms part of it, one I personally may be more afflicted by. Hehehe, do forgive those rascals, they can't help being confusing and elusive. Almost like reality itself 😉 Say, what became of sprinkling 5-10% of falsehood into your work, or stealing one word from every blog post; are these taking place? Or perhaps it would be more fun not even knowing that.

Here we have a live demonstration of the meme "what if two solipsists met". You gentlemen are God bickering about the semantics of God. And through this symbolic nonsense, the Yggdrasil of Consciousness sprawls ever further. What elaborate and efficient design.

My my, first urging us to wise up and fall in love with illusion, then lamenting the fact everyone's lost in Maya. Loving fantasy is the default state that comes naturally to most, hence the staggering levels of collective delusion. We're the odd ones out here. In a way, not being conscious you're in a dream is its deepest level. As gurus like to say, "you're already enlightened" ᐟᐟ☆

Frequency might be too high, for a single substance anyway. Over time it will inevitably lose the magic, you're better off alternating. Try a different tryptamine aside from the 4-subs (which mushrooms belong to); maybe DMT/DPT, some dissociatives, lysergamides, phenethylamines. Though all can be mind heavy in their own ways. 5-Meo-DMT definitely has potential to help, it's true what they say about it changing all the other psychedelic experiences, the more I take the more it feels I'm being altered at a genetic level in a mysterious way, there's much more clarity in the trips, and it's easier to enter a desired state of consciousness. I don't have any material to cite, but in my experience some supplements, in particular NAC and magnesium biglycinate (L-Threonate would be even better, but very expensive) aid quite a bit in easing the load and reset tolerance faster. Though there's always an inevitable mental cost to doing lots of psychedelics, it's only natural to lose human ambitions since most of them are now transparently petty. And there'll be feelings of isolation/alienation too. There exists a threshold where all of it is integrated and made peace with, but to cross it is no easy feat. 2C-B, AL-LAD, DMXE could be some of the chems on the lighter side while still providing a worthwhile spiritual experience. However if you go really deep there will be consequences, one trip left me bedridden unable to speak for a full day even though I handle awakenings far better than most. Lastly, you might just have a higher genetic sensitivity, nothing to be done about that. Carries its own benefits and downsides.

Yes, those kinds of exceptional cases are largely genetics. Similar to IQ and many other variables this roughly follows the Gauss distribution; these are several standard deviations removed from the mean, for proper sense-making you still need to account for them, but they're anomalies. I also know a guy in his 70s, he works for probably 18 hours a day as a construction engineer with his small but busy business, doesn't exercise, has almost perfect eyesight and posture despite spending so much time crouched drawing blueprints, has never been ill in his entire life, so much so he doesn't even know the difference between heart rate and blood pressure. Doesn't know the meaning of stress, while under constant pressure I've never seen him anxious or agitated at all; his pupils always remain the same tiny dots, no shift whatsoever when I informed him he may be facing a 100k fine and lose his company, nor when he's telling extremely obvious lies while maintaining full eye contact. Could pass any polygraph test without a hitch. Motivation, ambition, determination, and so on play a role, but not a decisive one. Just look at Leo, he's more passionate about his work than any of those guys, yet getting fucked by disease cuts tons of potential accomplishments at the root. No amount of spiritual work can get one good metabolism or proper hormonal balance, and whatever external changes of nutrition/medication/environment can at most shift things like 40% up or down. Even the power of (self)healing appears to be genetic, it won't unlock for just anyone, with God Consciousness or not. Best you can do is maximize the results within own constraints, this can be very non-trivial and take a long time to figure out. Getting physically fit only improved my lethargy by maybe 10%, acquiring a deep sense of life purpose another 10, and then taking speed for ADD doubled those effects in a flash. But this doesn't work separately, if I only did the stims I'd just be tweaking out wasting time focusing on pointless stuff, eventually get back into a rut of a different kind, depressed, plus get my heart fucked much faster without the necessary prior conditioning. Compensating for deficiencies brings its own set of tradeoffs. I can see other ways to optimize, though some will take years to actualize, some issues will never fully go away, and a few I'm not even aware of nor will ever be (due to time limits, bias, whatever).

@Schizophonia I kind of self-diagnosed this, but it makes a lot of sense from the subjective data I got administering a bunch of different substances. I have very low 5-HT1A affinity and increased MAO-A upregulation as consequence of a general abnormally fast metabolism. Anything that's stronger on the 1A will either not work on me at all or with severely diminished effects, such is the case for the base tryptamines and the 5-MeOs with the sole exception of DPT via IM. Methyl itself is no issue, as methylated dissociatives and meth function as expected. Just the 1A and MAO-A that are causing troubles. 2A on the other hand is normal, so I still have plenty of options.

Indeed I have, not coke since it's one of the dumbest drugs ever, insanely overpriced, lasts like 20 minutes, and can only be taken via the worst ROAs there are (IN and IV). Since a short while I've started taking amphetamine semi-regularly, helps nicely with the ADD I have regarding uninspiring tasks like schoolwork. Also went through a gram of meth, which I specifically acquired to test whether it could increase my libido and check the meme hypothesis of it making people gay, perhaps even discover I've just been gay all along; watched gay porn and regular porn as a control, virtually no change whatsoever. It's only a clean stimulation that gives focus and prompts me to write a lot, no hints of euphoria or arousal. Even with more emphatogenic stims (4-MMC, MDMA, 6-APB) I just get the traditional effects of everything feeling lovely and such.

Pretty much, yes. I do have some minor libido from time to time, the built-in needs are too potent as to be entirely absent, but it doesn't go beyond the simplistic physical level that can be swiftly taken care of and forgotten. Beyond that, concepts like actively looking for sex, committed relationships, having a partner in life, etc. are totally foreign to me, but that's precisely what makes it fascinating. A good love story can still touch my heart and bring me to tears, plus I intellectually grasp, probably better than most 'normal' people can imagine, just how deeply spiritual a relationship and sexual union can be, simply through intuition and observation, but the direct experience is elusive. It's a curious limbo to be stuck in. Wish you the best in dealing with your issues!

Right? This is all highly interesting, reading such accounts, romance stories of various kinds, relationship conflicts, and so on. I treat it like going to an art gallery and looking at all sorts of paintings; of beautiful and ugly people, historical events, abstract shapes, naturmorts, calamities... can look, but not touch, nor be there in that moment. That is quite alright however, these are all proxies for my own experience, just as I am for someone else. There are things that can only be done or seen from within this state/life, while others are inaccessible. That's how the solipsistic web of Consciousness works, in the sum total there's no lack. I got a little too excited there, my apologies if you haven't come to terms with your situation yet, that post just really resonated with me. Another good one: "you're just trying to justify your fear of approaching girls and can't admit it", is what mom always tells me🫠

Psychedelics are merely tools, no different than using a hammer on a nail, or taking a car to drive to the next city over. If you only ever travel by car you become fat, lazy, and dependent like Americans; but if you stubbornly insist on walking no matter what, don't be surprised when others make more progress in less time. Treat them as sacred medicine and you become some idiot ritualistic shaman; too flippantly and you'll break your fingers with a misplaced hammer swing. There are times to take a long, steady stroll, carefully observing and enjoying the surroundings, and there are times to floor the gas and blitz at 250kmph. Screwing a bolt manually may teach you patience and resourcefulness, so it's valuable to do so occasionally, but when a wrench is available it would be silly to dismiss it as the devil's instrument. Personally I hardly use psychedelics anymore, lately I've been postponing a trip multiple times in a row. Partly out of caution, at this time I can't have something too radical potentially disrupting my human life, but moreso because I've done so much of them and learned everything there is to know (the technical aspect) that my mind has been permanently altered, immense insights come to me sober simply through contemplation and dreams. As such, a trip would only serve to seal the deal on everything I've already interconnected, and feel it very straightforwardly in my being. The phase where psychedelics are thought of as the ultimate answer has passed a year ago for me; it was filled with many a risk, but instrumental to what I am now. Some people never grow out of it though, they get stuck on fractal holarchies this, meta-meta that. A rather advanced and unique self-deception to be sure, and true in a sense since everything is permitted within Consciousness, but ultimately it doesn't reach the heart of God. Others denounce psychs as chemicals that produce temporary hallucinations which cannot be 'true' awakenings; or they try them once, experience a terrifying trip and never come back, but that's an issue of purity of their mind, the substance has nothing to do with it. An ugly soul will be shown its reflection amplified a hundredfold and recoil in horror. Then we're left with those that have done psychedelics a decent amount, got a varying degree of results, and decided to go back to more traditional paths like yoga and meditation. That's fine if it works better for them, but the reasoning is hardly ever entirely truthful, you can easily spot shades of fear in it. Psychedelics are way more prone to self-deception? True, but what of it? The solution is not to abandon psychedelics, it's to train your mind to avoid falling into such a trap. Lastly, the delusions can get wickedly twisted. You may have an experience so true that it is absolutely unbelievable, such a thing couldn't possibly be the case; so you gaslight yourself into thinking that that was a delusion, until you verify it enough times that denial is no longer tenable. To misclassify truth as a self-deception is one of the hardest self-deceptions to overcome.

Ketamine +

Miracles such as reaching an actual understanding might be a bit much to hope for. The next best thing is to say your piece in a way that can inspire curiosity without causing conflict. For both your sakes there must be complete detachment from the outcome. On the off-chance someone is at all receptive to begin with, they might reach entirely different conclusions in the end. All your focus on avoiding conflict should be directed at the other person. Whether you yourself are viewed as sexist or deluded is of no consequence. If you possess the truth, then that's unshakable and unchanging, nothing can cut it, you can listen to all they have to say calmly. Sometimes that might entail appearing as an ignorant fence-sitter that has no particular opinions on anything, but what of it? Instances where the other party is in such a bad epistemic position that breaking down their fantasy by force is the more loving course of action are few and far between, it's more likely that unnecessary insistence will cause discomfort and further close down the mind. That's something everyone instinctually knows, the more fervently one argues for their position the less they themselves are confident in it. An important distinction is whether the communication is not working due to your own failures, or the other person's narrow-mindedness. How would you truly tell the difference? It's rarely as apparent as it might seem. If nothing else, use them as a feedback tool to consolidate the understanding clearer in your own mind, chances are you'll close some gaps, find a simpler articulation, or come up with poignant examples/metaphors. Unless dealing with a serious person that does radical independent inquiry, expect any progress reached to be undone, sometimes in a matter of days. Survival pressures and pre-existing beliefs will overwhelm it in a flash. In one ear and out the other. Length of the session is irrelevant here, you could be talking for 3 hours straight and the result won't change. It's an issue almost too fundamental to overcome. Hardly any topic you can bring up will be seen as life-changing to seriously consider, at best it's intellectually stimulating. We might live and breathe philosophy, but everyone else does not. And if it can be considered life-changing, then it's going to be perceived as a threat and shut down. If truth is not already held as the highest value, at least unconsciously, then you're at an impasse.