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About Marcel

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    With my wonderful wiggly wife
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  1. Hun I will always be understanding with you. Get used to this great feeling. I hope it doesn’t feel unusual soon ❤️ Watching you grow and be yourself is the most beautiful thing ever hun I’m glad I can make you feel comfortable. I love you so much darling *Joins you on the cloud and brings mango ice cream with me for us to eat
  2. @Preety_India I am very proud of you for opening to me hun You can always share everything with me. *Hugs you tightly and lets you know how much I love ❤️
  3. Thank you for sharing with me. This must have been difficult for you I love you hun ❤️
  4. Being around her feels like psychological warfare. I find it so hard to express myself, because I feel totally suppressed by her. Its all about her wanting a second child. Nothing else matters. I don’t matter. She’d rather die then have an only child, her words. Just being around her in the morning and I feel wrecked, even for the entire day sometimes. I think it’s impossible to describe how stuff like this can effect someones well being if you haven’t experienced it. At least I’ve slowly been able to stop being caught in the “saviour trap”. I still fall into it more often then I should. When she asks for my help she truly sounds desperate, it’s heartbreaking to watch. I’ve spent all my time wanting to help her, in the end I wasn’t able to do anything or rather absolutely nothing changed in the last 2 years. Im somewhat disappointed in myself. I tend to do things to their extremes. I’m a bit of an all or nothing kind of guy I suppose. I staked my mental health for hers and didn’t realise or was just ignorant that I’m playing a losing game. I mean she has been in stationary treatment 16 times. Why did I think I could do a better job? Everyone told me I should stop, that I’m ruining myself and I didn’t listen. Maybe im finally coming to peace with this whole ordeal myself slowly. I’ve often observed that I need to make experiences myself, well at least the lesson hits deeper i guess. Time to focus on something new. I’ve been so caught up in wanting to help her that I entirely neglected myself.
  5. So my mom broke my mind again this morning. I honestly can’t even put into words how her behaviour affects me. Desperately talking about how she doesn’t want an only child and that she can’t live this way. That she doesn’t want to live anymore. Sometimes standing around and stumbling unintelligible things Uhhhhh And she pulls me into this over and over again. Desperately Telling me I should help her. It absolutely crushes my self esteem and confidence. I can’t even do anything.
  6. You called me and I emerged ❤️ Good morning my gorgeous wiggly wife 💋
  7. I bet the universe is a troll. Just happily trolling away all of us all the time. Must be having the eternity of its life lol It’s like being jump scared in the dark and then not knowing what hit you and being torn between wanting to know and revisiting that place at day or rather forgetting about it hehe I’ll talk to the universe’s manager. Hope I can get a hold of anyone. They sure must be busy I imagine.
  8. You mean we play red? 😅❤️
  9. @Preety_India
  10. @Preety_India Here it is hun
  11. It does really happen that way, you look for something, you find it, sometimes in the most unexpected ways. Glad the universe works efficiently like that, although id like to cut out the doubt and feeling of uncertainty that comes with this miraculous process hehe Oh im familiar with those. The intense dreams, that just seemingly disappear when you wake up. It’s like going on a bad holiday and losing all memory of it. I demand a refund universe, gimme my peaceful sleep 😅
  12. It’s definitely worth the sometimes painstaking effort hehe 💯 I hope the selffulfilling prophecy ghost 👻 hasn’t visited you by now hehe That’s something I need to keep in my mind more often. Linear process isn’t really a thing yeah hehe 🙃 Maybe it’ll turn exponential some time 🎉
  13. To expand on my chess analogy: Your own mind is a chessboard, everyone you meet has their own internal chessboard with infinite positions related to their own environment which is another chessboard and all of them interact with, change and influence each other, until we’ve beaten the game individually and collectively. Thinking about this I think a rubics cube may be an even better analogy. A rubics cube that’s made of an infinity of smaller rubics cubes and every one of them is connected to each other, with the goal to solve the cube. Well actually not really, because The Cube, doesn’t really care if it is solved or not, it happily stays and or changes to any position it is molded into. In the Absolute sense it doesn’t really matter how The Cube stands. In the relative sense it does. If your “colours” are all messed up it becomes difficult to see the bigger picture and in the absence of that a lot about The Cube and your part in it gets lost.
  14. Yes I’ve heard of him from time to time, but only a couple a days I ago “randomly”stumbled on one of his videos or I think a meditation and in the following days I’ve just kinda been hanging on every word and watched a dozen videos a a day lol
  15. Soooooo cute. Yes please. I’d caresses your tummy and back inbetween while writing 🥰