Marcel

Hey there. Im a 22 year old male, ( Im an only child by the way, if that somehow matters ) never been in a relationship, never dated anyone, never even got around to holding hands as a teen. I would not consider myself to be antisocial, but i do not socialize at all and barely have any friends or acquaintances, i literally have just two numbers on my phone, that i text once in a blue moon. Im not depressed or feel self pity or anything like that, im not even looking for any dating or socializing advice per se, i just feel happy and fulfilled how things are going right now and dont feel the need to change something. I spent most of my time alone, except when im hanging out or eat dinner with the family. The only thing that really excites me is understanding things, i just love learning about and understanding how reality works, everything else almost pales in comparison. But i have been wondering about this for quite a while, am i not missing out on relationships, sex, intimacy etc.? I´d assume that just socializing for that matter, would certainly benefit me in my quest to understand things and would result in a lot of growth, furthering the understanding i so desire, but i just cant bring myself to even want to meet, let alone date anybody. Again, i do not feel lonely, depressed or lost, not at all, but almost feels like i am weirding myself out, or maybe im just battling social and cultural conditioning, if that makes any sense. Any thoughts on this?

I could use some help with integrating stage red. I used to have massive anger issues and a big superiority complex in my teen years. I caused arguments all the time and always was looking for respect from other people. Maybe also because i was quite insecure and could not handle compliments or criticism. It has gotten better by a lot over the last couple of years. I am 22 years old right now. But i do notice that most of the music i listen to is stage red for example. My taste in music is definitely changing right now. But i am totally addicted to songs that make feel powerful and superior. My anger has become mostly manageable, but i still lose my temper more often then i´d like it to happen. Any suggestions on what i could do or work on are highly appreciated.

@Preety_India This is my attempt to describe how I’m feeling It’s hard for me to put into words. I wish I could just somehow communicate this clearly. This may be one of my posts that is hard to understand, because while writing about how I’m trying to grasp or describe my feelings or why I’m feeling this way. Im trying to grasp this whole process at the same time as I’m communicating it, creating a grand confusion for me. It’s like my mind goes blank. Blank is the wrong word. It’s like I’m barely in reach to reconcile my feelings that I can’t describe or understanding my confusion but I just can’t get there. Its like putting together a puzzle while trying to understand what a puzzle is at the same time and somehow making progress, but not being able to finish or understand it and then being confused, and unable to wrap my head around it, leading to even more confusion infinitely. It’s like a never ending thread that just keeps unraveling endlessly, without beginning or end. It’s like trying to touch your own finger with the same finger that you are trying to touch it with and the more I try to describe or understand how I feel and why I feel this way the more i just feel ….. we’ll that’s exactly the problem. I don’t know how I’m feeling in a way, well i do, but I weirdly don’t at the same time and I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like a paradox I wish you could just look in my brain and know what I mean, because i just don’t know how to communicate this without it being mega confusing for me to express myself and for you to understand. I love you hun

digidigidig *makes it even more tingly My sweet dancy Hase let’s loose the heely dance moves. Ms silly In element

??? *Twirly bird Hase Poely and elegantly long dancing yes

You look beautifully fantastic Schnuggle bun ??

My sweet Schnuggle bun The snake has bit youand it will stay where it is never letting go, crowned by its jam my sexy princess. Crowned and Owned

Yikes I haven’t posted in quite a while. I feel like I’m in a loop of doing something excessively and then dropping it again and again and again. Remember what Bob Proctor said: “Be like a postcard, stick to it until you get there“ The simplest advice can sometimes be the best, most of the time I’m overanalysing waaaay to much. Analysis Paralysis almost seems to be my modus operandi. “The Opposite of Complacency is making a decision“

*Feels honoured ? ?

*sends sleepy relaxing Schnuggle energy

Forever yours

@Preety_India *doesn’t know what to say All credit goes to you sweetheart. I may have shined a light, but you followed it. Seeing you grow is so heart warming. It brings the biggest joy. Your sweet birdy energy makes everything beautiful and flowery. So strong it overcomes anything, flying through every challenge and trial and I’m so glad I’m standing by your side. Im so aww struck ?

@Preety_India My flappy bird I’ve never bonded with anyone so deeply. It’s lovingly frightening, I feel like I’m paralysed thinking about you in the most romantic way. I want to say so much, and at the same time I’m lost for words. Like my internal dictionary has become infinite and collapsed on to itself and everything it spells out is I love you. I’m happily married. I’ve truly fallen in love and you have caught me, together we challenge and complete each other. Deeply Schnuggling. I just want to hold you and hit you with a pillow while you’re wrapped in blanket armour. My queen knight. ??

*Puts warm Schnuggle blanket over you and sends bird conforting energy

Reading the whole thread reminded me of. “Quit the habit of being you” Be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. If you put the effort you put into the thoughts that tell you you can’t do it, into relaxing and surrendering into caring for yourself it will happen slowly. One small step infront of the other. It feels weird in the beginning, it’s like trying to live a whole different life and the body needs to get used to the new feeling over time, because it has been conditioned this way.

I’m your floppy cat panda ?

@Preety_India My sweet birdy bird. Im your honeydew. I want Schnuggle and cuddle and snuggle. Have cute pillow fights and feed each other mango ice cream. Flap our wings together, flop and flip floppingly. Up and down holding our hands rubbing our feet. Just holding you is so warm and fuzzy, squishingly holds you close to me.

Can you forgive life? What would you say to it if it was right in front of you, like a person listening to you? What if you could ask it, why? Why did you take x from me? Why did you put me through x? I think this is a good way of getting to suppressed emotions and then saying all of it. Letting all of it out without censoring. Healing is important

It’s like an invisible thinking partner, ask it a question and it will produce an answer, usually after sleeping or taking a walk or showering.

What’s up buttercup? ?

Agreed. We tend to calibrate to the worst outcomes and spent a lot of time worrying and in fear, which in healthy doses isn’t bad, in order to stay alert and ready adjust. But if it’s too much it’s crippling, so instead the time could be spent envisioning an „ideal“ or healthy / good situation and living as if it already occurred. It’s important to net get caught up in the how too much and things will unfold according to the inner vision. Easier said then done I know. I notoriously struggle with thinking about “oh god how will this happen” instead of trusting, letting go and taken action when it presents itself. Devilry eventually implodes under its own weight, it can’t stay hidden forever, there eventually is a breaking point. It doesn’t evolve and therefore can’t stay permanently or get better. I feel you hun. Do whatever feels best to you. My instinct tells me to rather then letting it go, going deep into it, but both ways are valid. *Sends Courage and Strength *Hugs tightly ?

*Prays with and for you ?

*Wraps protective layer of healing energy around you so your always safe

Maybe it’s a form of release Hope it gets better soon *Caresses back

*Sends Strength and Reassurance You got this hun