Harlen Kelly

Member
 View profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    782

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Harlen Kelly

  3. Posted

    14 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

    it's linked to her views formed from childhood about how her parents treated crying and the display of emotions. wrap in what society teaches about it as well

    It's mostly societal and cultural, however, she might feel less attracted to you and subsequently break up with you if you keep behaving overly sensitive towards her. 

    Not to make a value judgement about her reaction to your crying, but she breaking up with you because she perceives you as weak is a real possibility. 

  4. Posted

    3 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

    I don't see crying as a sign of weakness

    She perceives it as a sign of weakness when a man does it based on her reaction. 

    4 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

    she has a all sorts of unhealthy beliefs about masculinity. 

     Most women look down on men crying, which is a relatively unhealthy perspective to have but most women have that perspective.

  5. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @Lyubov Most women think a man crying is pathetic (unless the reason why you're crying is justified in their eyes, a family member of yours just died for example). 

    There is what women pretend they want in a man (to be overly vulnerable, sensitive, etc..) and then there is what women actually want in a man which is to be emotionally strong and grounded as your girlfriend clearly stated. 

    If you don't like the fact that your girlfriend looks down on you because you were crying, you will have to communicate that to her you, but it should not surprise you that your gf wants to be emotionally strong, that's the case with most women (even though many of them are in denial about it, which is typical). 

    Some women lose attraction immediately if a guy is overly sensitive, it is what it is. 

  6. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    4 hours ago, Vrubel said:

    @Harlen Kelly @Leo Gura

    Update:

    I sent her: Eey (name), let's meet up 

    she replied with:

    "I don't get it, so you do want to be friends?"

    I want to reply:
    I never do this but for you I can make an exception
    or
    Sure, let's meet as friends

     

    (I will reply the next day)

    The second option seems fine. Then see what happens, it might surprise you. As I said, this has happened to me plenty of times and after meeting face to face, the chemistry flourished once again and we ended up hooking up. If you can't close, move on.

  8. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @Andrew John Well Andrew I have good and bad news for you, getting women will not cure your depression long-term (I come from  a pick-up background and I have many friends who fell into that trap), it will only mask your current symptoms of depression for a short period of time. Having 30 minutes of daily pleasure with a chick cannot fundamentally solve your existential angst. 

    That does not mean that you should forget about women, it means that getting women thinking it will solve your emotional issues is foolish. 

    If you want to solve this problem for good you need to focus on consciousness, meditation and contemplation. This should be your priority number 1, number 2 and number 3, so that being emotionally self sufficient and joyful becomes your default state and your life situation (women, financial situation, etc...) would be the cherry on top.  

    A very good introduction is the power of now by eckart tolle, implementing that in your life will dramatically (and I mean dramatically) improve your emotional state. 

  9. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    18 minutes ago, Vrubel said:

    (Name), I don't normally do this and it's a huge exception, but since we both really had a good time together, I'm willing to continue our relationship as friends and meet up as simply friends

    No, no, the tone of the message is excessively serious, there is no light-heartedness on that. Dating is a game, you can get serious after having a formal relationship. 

    Send the first one you wrote. 

    18 minutes ago, Vrubel said:

    Also when I escorted her to the station I purposefully turned away from her but she kept standing close to me, right by my chest.  

    I am very certain she was down to fuck that night. 

  10. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @Vrubel You should've simply kept it light and fun, do not take it too seriously when women say ''let's be friends'' or something similar, dating is a dance not a robotic puzzle. 

    It could've been as simple as just playing along, going out ''as friends'', building some rapport for the first 30 minutes of date, looking directly into her eyes and going in for the kiss, keep chatting with a fun and completely dettached energy, pull her to your apartment and the rest would 've happened naturally. 

    22 minutes ago, Vrubel said:

    Can I say: I usually never do this but I really enjoyed our time together so I will not mind spending some time as friends.

    Sure, remember to just keep it fun, and focus primarily on her mood instead of the little details. 

  11. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @Vrubel It's not manipulative if you understand that women change their minds based primarily on their mood, if she is in the right mood she will most likely sleep with you. 

    Having options does not have anything to do with that because the more options you have, the more often you close when given the opportunity, therefore, if you were more abundant you might've been able to close. 

    A chick can tell you she just wants to be friends for a plethora of reasons, it does not mean all the time that she is not into you. If you had more experience with women, you would easily understand this point. 

    14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    Try to set up another date with her, even if she says "just friends",

    Exactly my point, but op would come off as a ''beta'' according to him if he does that. 

  13. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @Vrubel This has happened to me numerous times, and in many of those instances I was able to close after she stated she only wanted to be ''friends''. Her attitude would commonly be very different when you are face to face with her, and are escalating physically. 

    This doesn't necessarily mean that you have to continue pursuing this chick, but keep in mind that you can ''flip'' the interaction dynamics after she says she only wants to be friends, you could've simply gone along, slowly amp her emotions up throughout the date, pull her and close the deal once she for sure feels like having sex with you.  

  17. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

    @somegirl you are type of girl that would go better with decent beta type of guy imo...what you wrote is not unrealistic its realistic but i assume you want even more than that ,you dont give the guy that fits you a chance and you pursue that high quality and you dont want to be submissive and its easily seen by "them"...

    That's a common occurrence nowadays with some clueless females. 

  19. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    8 hours ago, somegirl said:

    High value for me... Guy who has his own thing going on in his life and is successful at it, and loves doing what he's doing... Masculine, takes good care of himself, respects his mother, funny but knows when to be serious, understanding, open-minded. Listens to my needs. Really cares to make me comfortable and well taken care of. Treats me like a lady. Doesn't pressure me into anything. Non-needy. Has his own social circle... Etc.

    This should be easy for you to get, make sure you live in a city where a lot of men with those qualities can be found, put yourself out there, go to the gym regularly and look decently. 

    Just going to the gym and having a good diet will dramatically increase your chances of meeting a high value guy. Then qualities like femininity, being easy-going, having your own hobbies, etc...

    @NoSelfSelf

    Based. 

  20. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    34 minutes ago, somegirl said:

    What should a girl offer to a guy, in your opinion, besides looks? If looks is all girls should offer, I strongly disagree with it. 

    Whether you like it or not, it will be the biggest determining factor that will influence if a guy wants to be with you or not. 

    You can be incredibly charismatic and funny, that's not the main element that creates attraction in guys. That obviously does not mean that looks is the only element that attracts heterosexual men, but it's definitely the main element, therefore, going to the gym and looking attractive can be of great help to attract the guy you are looking for. 

  22. Posted

    @Matt23 I will be honest, I think the main reason for the subtle unease you are feeling around her is simply because of the fact that she is a woman and according to what you have previously stated, you are not used to being that close to women or people in general, therefore, you are irrationally trying to justify your unease and uncomfortableness around her. 

    You can move out if you want but that will only stifle your growth, you are not supposed to feel uneasy around women, half the human population are women. Instead address the feeling of unease by observing it and diving into it. 

    I might be wrong in my analysis though. 

  25. Posted

    7 hours ago, Holygrail said:

    When alone with her- start physically escalating, go for the make out and start fingering her, tell her that it doesnt count as sex or that it'll make it sexier, show her that you're emotionally turned on while making out and fingering her, she'll be less likely to resist seeing you so turned on and it will transfer on to her, secretly put on a condom put her panties to the side and stick it in.

    Hahahahaha, julien is simply hilarious.