Harlen Kelly

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Posts posted by Harlen Kelly

  3. Posted

    19 minutes ago, MatteO22 said:

    I have this with video games, sometimes I play a little too much, it got much more frequent and long winded during COVID for obvious reasons. And I don’t really feel guilty about it, I even enjoyed (and still do) it. And yet! I am not going to pretend like I wanna do this for life, like divinity original sin 2 is the ultimate goal and the best source of pleasure for me! :D 

     

    What is wrong with enjoying a hobby in moderation (video games in this case)? 

    Is it objectively wrong to enjoy something you like that is not creating collateral damage to other people?

    Being conscious and partaking in a hobby of yours are not mutually exclusive, you actually enjoy your hobbies more when you are conscious.

  4. Posted

    On 5/28/2021 at 3:11 AM, Tangerinedream said:

    It’s even prominent on this forum the way women are spoken about and judged by their appearance. How women are thought to lose value with age. It’s so deeply ingrained that I think of it as true.  So when I see myself ageing I see myself as loosing value.

    I have bad news for you, most hetero men judge women based on their looks automatically, unconsciously and that will not change just because it makes you feel insecure. That is biologically ingrained on men to get the healthiest woman possible to reproduce with.

    The ''value'' you think you will lose is a complete fiction, you don't have any value because value does not exist, it is not an inherent, observable property of reality in other words, you have infinite value. 

    The actual solution to your problem is to stop deriving your sense of self from your appearance and instead ground your sense of self on the entirety of reality, that is the long-term solution to your issue. Any skin care or other procedure you part take in will not work because your appearance will keep deteriorating exponentially as you grow older, that's part of being a human being. 

  5. Posted

    On 6/5/2021 at 9:29 PM, 4201 said:

    Yes, IMO gender dysphoria is a misconception. The idea that you are a woman in a man's body is false and vice versa. People feel bad about themselves and start imagining it's because their body have the wrong sex. Then they go to the doctor and get diagnosed, validating their misconception. No matter what your current body is (even if you already have transitionned) you can accept it the way it is and live a happy life. You can hear the thoughts of a trans person, but I'd advise hearing the thoughts of an enligthened trans person instead. 

    Don't you think you might be dumbing down a phenomenon that the best scientist don't fully understand yet? 

  8. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @Vzdoh That example (the chick who slept with 11 guys after break up) obviously entails a woman who is emotionally wounded. 

    This is actually more simple to comprehend than you think. Let's use weed as an example. 

    There are people who use weed to escape from their emotions, and there are people psychologically developed who smoke weed out of an innate and genuine desire without getting attached to the substance. 

    There are people who eat in order to escape from their emotions and stuff down trauma, and there are other people who genuinely enjoy a variety of food without using it as some type of mechanism to escape reality. 

    Analogously, there are people who indeed use sex to escape and run away from their emotions while there are others who do it out of a genuine desire for connection and sex with multiple people.

    Saying ''ALL'' human beings share x,y,z characteristic because of a specific behavioral pattern is and will always be a fallacy because humans are complex. You are projecting your ineptitudes on other women.

  11. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @MatteO22 Not everybody who has regular sex is engaging in escapism. That is not a factual, observable, scientific statement. That is simply an unsounded belief. 

    There are people who use sex ( or any other activity ) mainly to escape but that is not the case with everybody. 

    ''Can people slut shame ? For sure, but is ultimately sleeping around healthy and sustainable ? Nope. Not really. Is me saying this slut shaming ? Nope.''

    That is a very unsophisticated and dull-witted conclusion. Human behavior cannot be so simplified like you just did. 

    To accurately and thoroughly determine the psychological health of a person one needs to do a deep analysis because human behavior is complex. 

  14. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @Bando

    1 hour ago, Bando said:

    One girl I met from TInder told me she went through a nasty break up and I was her 11 guy she slept with in the past month, that blew my mind.

    Yup, the average woman has waay more sex than you can possibly imagine, which is not necessarily a negative thing. 

    That chick when asked how many partners she's had, will answer something like 8. That's what women typically do.

  16. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    5 hours ago, Vzdoh said:

    So if a woman has a high body count, to me ut just means she is not in touch with her emotions or healthy psychologically, i. E. Trying to use sex to replace emotions or use it as a manipulation tactic to get close to the guy, and that never works. 

    I thought you as a woman would defend women who were open sexually instead of shaming them. I could understand that behavior coming from an unexperienced guy but not from a woman. 

    Open your mind to the possibility that there are women who simply like having sex with multiple people and have no issues expressing that desire. And that doesn't imply that they are psychologically behindert in any way. 

  20. Posted

    @Preety_India

    11 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

    To be honest, most suggestions on this thread are rapey. 

    It's all about what men want and how fast they can close it. 

    Not at all thinking about what the woman might want or what she might be thinking of you in her mind 

     

    Most threads on this subforum guide men to take it quite aggressively. Out of the excessive insecurity of being friendzoned. 

    Try it and see. 

    If a woman turns away when you are trying to kiss, it may not be because she doesn't like you, but maybe because she finds you too sexually desperate, and desperation tells a woman that's its not the best idea to submit to that kiss

    Like I said try it. And in most cases a woman will pull away and you'll simply take it as rejection whereas she was only trying not to be too uncomfortable and probably turned off by sensing the desperation to hurry up things. 

     

    You guys don't know how to be gentle and still be masculine without being a feminine friend to her. In your mind masculinity is taught as being aggressive and getting what you want. 

    For a lot of women, "get what you want" kind of men register as a threat physically or sexually. 

    You people just don't understand female psychology. You need to make her feel safe, not insecure. 

    Making her feel insecure will backfire badly  if she is a healthy self assertive self assured woman. 

     

    She will move away from a kiss that wasn't a part of her plan. 

    If a woman really wanted a kiss she will give you signals and leverage. There won't be a bag sitting in between. She wouldn't make you feel unsure about a kiss. 

    In fact she will give clear signs and you'll have absolutely no problem with kissing her unless you got problems of your own to work out. 

    If she is not giving clear signs, don't take big risks or she will reject you forever and never want to see you again, because in her mind you came off as more aggressive than she would have liked. 

     

    Fatuous take. 

  23. Posted · Edited by Harlen Kelly

    @StarStruck I will also highly advise you to choose carefully which advise you are going to take, because if you take every advise on this thread about this situation seriously, you will have paralysis by analysis and will end up not pulling the trigger with the chick. 

    Focus on the advise that will help you accomplish what you want to accomplish with her and disregard the rest. 

    3 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

    First I have to recover from my porn addiction. I'm not confident to go to bed with her right now. My dopamine receptors got smashed because of all the porn use during the quarantine. I'm afraid I will get ED.

    This is an excuse, pull her to wherever you plan to have sex with her even if you don't plan to have sex with her, just pull her.