meow_meow

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Posts posted by meow_meow

  2. Posted

    8 minutes ago, levani said:

     inobedient

    Are these people being fair?
    Closing clubs and other social places with an intention to not allow covid 19 to spread so quickly seems fair enough.
    IMO it's the people who ignore the rules or even deny them and gather on purpose are the ones to blaim as they might be tje ones spreading it while there is no cure for it (well technically the vaccine just came out, but still).

  3. Posted · Edited by meow_meow

    I'm a web delevoper (Mainly back-end, PHP, JS) and one of my acquaintances is a system administrator and another one is a support/consultant.

    I do it because I like to, and I choose programming over anything else because I love programming, loved since ~ 12 years old, started with creating simple flash games. I'm also looking forward to become a freelancer and who knows maybe even opening up my own company one day.

    Anyway, If you already are more keen to IT Consultant - go for it.
     

    On 2020.01.30. at 4:28 PM, StarStruck said:

    I think the safe option for me is It consultancy and then doing programming on the side

    I'd recommend choosing that one and going all in on it, not lingering between consultant and a developer, I think you won't really achieve greatness in any of them until you choose that one thing.

    You mentioned stress - a developers job can be as stressfull as consultants job, it all depends on the company, environment and how you handle stress.

  5. Posted · Edited by meow_meow

    From my experience, if you continue to hang out with those people, at one point you'll realize that you no longer really relate to each other as much as you used to and will on your own disconnect from them, since theres nothing much left in common besides good (and bad) memories. 

    I feel like I have to 'step down' intelectually to their level to 'fit in' and it surfaces, they feel it, I feel it, we both know it. it's basically a setup for failure. 

    I'm going trough this right now, and my situation is very similar, except of course, its' worse because I got into studying narcissism and realized that a few of my 'closest' friends are both narcissists and I was just their narcissistic supply, nothing more.. but thats a different story.

    You might even notice that they start to become jerks towards you, start taking your openness and kindness for weakness and can 'try' to manipulate you, if they're orange/red.

    Anyway for me it just sort of happens naturally, I just sort of start to disconnect from my social circle on my own, without actually doing anything. I beleive its just how it is. Sad.

  6. Posted

    For me Intuition is the same as for the most people who have already posted "Just knowing, without knowing how I know"
    I ask myself a question, and I already know the answer even before I've asked it, or just a split-second after the question/thought arised in my mind.
     

    On 2020.12.10. at 6:04 PM, SoonHei said:

    work upto the stage where you let intuition be the only thing leading your way. #NoMind

    I've read that they practice something similar in zen, when teachers ask their students questions, and students have to reply instantly, without thinking. Teachers start with relatively simple questions like is it day or night, what color are your eyes and go up to harder questions, they say that eventually zen students become really good at just being spontanous, that they can almost instantly give out correct answers.

  7. Posted

    21 minutes ago, 73809 said:

    The question is, do you truly want to self regulate?

    No, it's the only technique that helps me stay away from the things I want to do (short term pleasure, Id) but understand that I shouldn't because it's bad for my health, and I'll be shaming myself later (superego)

    I want that I could not want those cheetos and beer. So simply doing what I want which is not want, which would lead to = "Simply don't want to!" .. dunno doesn't make much sense to me. How can one should simply Not want? By not wanting not to want? heh.

  8. Posted

    @Mu_ Yeah, sorry for the late reply, I PM'ed You.
     

    On 2020.12.8. at 5:11 PM, mandyjw said:

    You don't have to let go because there isn't anything there

    Yes, What I've learned from my Alan Watts Way of Zen book is that there is nothing to let go, because I havent grabben onto anything in the first place.
     

    On 2020.12.8. at 5:11 PM, mandyjw said:

    Most cravings are born out of an imbalanced life.

    Aha, and most of my cravings come out of booredom which comes when I'm taking a break from the rat race/hobbies/reading/meditating etc and have a lack of socializing because of lost friends due to rise in awareness and self esteem etc.
     

    On 2020.12.8. at 5:11 PM, mandyjw said:

    None of this is your fault. None of it is your responsibility.

    What exactly do you mean by this? I really don't see how I'm not responsible for my current situation, also I don't really understand who's fault could it be, besides mine, since it's my life?

  10. Posted

    Yeah man, I'm on the same boat. After ~1,5 years into self actualization and enlightenment work I've realized that some of my 'friends' were actually people with high narcissistic traits (possibly even NPD or worse - psychopaths) that faked empathy and I feel explited and just used as their narcissistic supply.
    Also I feel like I've outrgrown my social circle intelectually, the topics they talk about now seem so surface level, the flaws they have seem so obivious and the stupid things they do, and know that it's ruining their lives, but not doing nothing about it, seem miserable. I try to not judge them at all, and we kinda get along but I feel like I have to step down and be dumber that I actually feel I am in order to 'fit in' which is basically already a setup for failure.

    I've thought about this and here are my ideas of where to meet greenish-yellowish people:

    1. University/College - It's a hell of a higher chance to meet people with higher awarenees there than in clubs/bars for example.
    2. Courses/Seminars 
    3. Martial art groups/classes
    4. Everything thats related to spirituallity & Philosophy - Group meditation classes, meet-ups etc.

  12. Posted · Edited by meow_meow

    @Origins Damn, that's hell of a explanation, some spiritual heavyweight stuff.
    I seriously had to re-read this at various times during these days until I finally got the point, and yes, you're answer amazingly accurate, it correlates with my issues with setting and maintaining inner boundaries which basically means saying 'No!' (to people and to myself) and actually not doing the thing that I said No to. (Congurance)
    How it oftern times ends up is - Saying No (to beer), but then grabbing a beer a few hours later, then feelings of remorse anger etc arise (Sabotaging integrity and relationship with myself)

    But simply trough discipline I've managed to get my gym routines, diet, work productivity etc more or less on point.
    But the cravings are still there, the main point of the topic was how to diminish them entirely. 

    Anyhow, your answer really helped me to connect the dots, thanks for that.
     

    On 11/30/2020 at 6:07 AM, Mu_ said:

    This may sound like weird advice, and it may not work, but its worth a try.  When your feeling the craving or need.  Pause a moment and toon into the feeling, then once you got a good grasp and mental picture of the experience, recreate it in your minds eye and then in your body.  Yes, you read that right, recreate the craving experience your already having in your minds eye and in your body exactly as your experiencing it, in the exact locations your experiencing it.  This may take practice and it will feel weird, but it just may clear the craving in its tracks.

    If this sounds weird, or your asking how you would do it, imagine this and try it now.  If your feeling say neutral now, think about something that is pleasant and notice how it slighty changes your emotions.  Now while this is happening, focus your attention on the pleasant feeling.  Notice how it increases the experience.  Now try and feel that experience in your hand or foot or stomach, and see if you can feel that experience in those locations.

    So, if you can do this, its basically the same thing, but instead of thinking about something pleasant, your thinking about the exact experience your already going through (make sure its as close to exact as is actually occurring) and recreating it in your body and minds eye. 

    When you do this it doesnt need to be sustained for more then 5-20 seconds.  It should shift the experience if your doing as accurately as possible.

    This truly sounds like a weird advice, and this actually might help with cravings that occur when I'm shopping for food, boored etc.
    I'll def try this out, thanks.

  13. Posted

    11 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

    Not-wanting is your original state of being; desire-less

    Yeah, this is a cool insight, that I wasn't aware of before.

    So basically,
    Craving = Thought (of food, alcohol, being lazy etc), that I've attached to.
    Letting go =  Sitting trough the pain that arises while trying to not give in to the thought (Craving) ?

    & repeating the process of Letting go each time thoughts, that cause cravings, arise should eventually free me from them?

  14. Posted

    42 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

    Step 2: You endure the pain until it's gone.

    Well, I guess the feeling of craving could be labeled as pain, and yes I guess simply sitting trough the feeling helps for that exact moment, how about spontanious cravings - Like you walk trough a store and you notice that ice cold beer with Cheetos and.. and you just buy them, being aware of that, and feeling satisfied but guilty as hell?
     

    43 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

    Step 3: You don't go back to the old habits ever again.

    Easier said than done, very surface level answer TBH. 

    Isn't wanting to not want itself a need? How can one not want not to want?

  15. Posted

    Hey,

    So recently I've realized that simply following a strict discipline towards my diet, productivity, waking up, working out etc is good, and it works and it has great results but it doesn't solve the root issue which is - the need & craving towards shitty food, masturbation, skipping gym, alcohol etc. 

    I've heard Leo talk about it, and I just recently finished reading my book (Alan Watts - The way of the zen) where he also mentions "Letting go" of the need & cravings, and attachments. Aswell as most meditation techniques teach you to "Let go" of thoughts.

    So my question is, what exactly do you have to do, to let go ? or what is the step-by-step process to letting go? How can one let go of a thought?

  16. Posted

    42 minutes ago, Shin said:

    Stupidity is only sad if you expect it not to be stupid :)

    ..  Has been successfully added to wisdom quite library.
     

    Quote

    And/or they see that he sells a life purpose course for $249 and because of that immediately labels him a scammer and refuses to listen to him even for a second.

    Yeah, when I showed Leo's videos to one of my most neurotic, sex-addicted friends who was bullied all trough school, he instantly labeled Leo a scammer because of money making out of his course/book list etc.

  17. Posted

    16 hours ago, Barbara said:

    "Females" don't lie. People lie. It does not have to do with gender, it has to do with consciousness. The less conscious you are, the more truth is meaningless to you.

    Yes, Females are also people, and people lie, but that's not the message I was trying to deliver trough my post.
    We are talking about OP's relationship with a woman (female), that's why I mentioned that females lie about their partner count, since it fits into this context and didn't expect someone to get cranky about it.

    @VictorB02 Also, from my experience, don't take relationship advice from women, but rather from men who actually deal with women in terms of relationships.

  18. Posted

    "Hookers and Cocaine"  ahh .. ^_^ The notorious combo.
    I wouldn't recommend having sex with hookers all the time, but meh, if it's the only way you can satisfy your sexual needs then why not.
     

    Quote

    Is it ok to practice sex with hookers?

    Quote

    Usually need to numb the pain with alcohol or something after i  have done the bad act.

    I think you already have the answer for that.
    Why would there be 'pain' in the first place, if it would be aligned with your beliefs and morals?
    It's not (for you) that's why it brings up feelings of regret, guilt, remorse because you judge youself of doing the 'bad' act.

    See if the act wouldn't be bad from your perspective, there wouldnt be a bad judgement that bring up 'pain'.
    (unless you speaking about pain in your penis, anus etc)

  20. Posted · Edited by meow_meow

    31 minutes ago, VictorB02 said:

    And I just want you're insight - is her exchange with this guy friend something I should worry about? Is there anyway to know if this is actually a guy friend? 

    Also note: This guy lives in a different state, and to my knowledge only talks to my girlfriends when he is coming to visit.

    Is it something you should worry about? Fuck no, like hell no.
    From my perspective HE doesn't want to be friends, he just wants to fuck your girl.But SHE most likely has friend-zoned him.

    Why would a guy choose a long distance relationship without even getting pussy? Because he's so desperate that he's ready to cope with it, and girls can sense that right away.

    Also it's your job to keep guys off from flirting with your girl if you're around. Getting all emotional, mad, freaked out only shows that SHE has affect on your emotions, which is a red flag.
     

    Quote

    that if she wanted anyone other than me, she would've been with them before me

    Females lie, especially when it comes down to previous partner count.

    This might sound harsh, but If I was in your place I'd tell her exactly that I do not want to see her hanging out with other guys except ofc if it's a random childhood friend that she just met on the street, some corporate party etc but not on a regular basis.

    If she ignores your needs, tell her to get the fuck out and have the power to leave.

  21. Posted

    7 hours ago, Sempiternity said:

    You seem pretty dedicated on the path to finding Truth. Out of curiosity, why haven't you gone down the path of psychedelics, considering many teachers (like Leo) say it's the most direct route to Truth?

    Because I don't have access to them. They are illegal in my country (including all grow kits etc) They are not so popular in my social circle, that's why I don't know any people that know people who would have access to them. Travel is on stand-by due to Covid-19, so I can't travel to places where they are legal.
    The only stuff that I have access to is weed, MDMA and some shitty coke, maybe some other stimulants but that's about it.

    @VeganAwake@bejapuskas Yes, during my meditation sessions I was able to observe thoughts without getting involved in them, or taking them serious, however - when it comes down this specific "looking for who is there" there are no thoughts, just extremelly unpleasant physical sensations that I described (nausea, feelings of getting tortured, sadness that lead to tears etc) and those are really, really hard to control.

  22. Posted

    8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Self-Love is key here.

    8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Yeah, that's called Primordial Avoidance.

    Interesting, never heard of "Primordial Avoidance"  before, I'll take a closer look into it.
    Ehh, I guess it's time for yet another break and I'll look into your self-love videos closer, because it seems like there's no going 'forward' without it. Thanks for advice!
     

  23. Posted

    5 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

    Take a step away, go be 27 and enjoy it.

    Then if and when you're ready, go again. You, the "I" may die in the end, but all this carries witnessing itself.

    Yes, I've done it before, but this time it seems insanely sick.

    Sound from computer speakers don't even feel like their coming from the speakers.
    When people speak it feels like the sound is not coming out of their mouths.

    Visual field feels the same.

    Physical sensations feel like their there on their own, no-one is there to feel them, I'm somewhere "In the background"

  24. Posted · Edited by meow_meow

    So, as usual, I'll start with a quick intro of my characters enlightenment stats:

    • I've been meditating almost daily for ~1.2 years (35mins)
    • No psychedelics
    • "Love", "God", "Oneness" are yet to be discovered and still remain a mystery to me at this time.
    • and I've done ~6months of self-inquiry sessions 3-4 times a week.

    Up until this now I've been practicing meditation technique of just looking at my thoughts, letting them go and re-focusing on my breath.
    For the past ~3weeks I switched to "Do nothing technique" and I feel that shit just hit the deck.

    How?

    I?
    I got to the feeling of "Who is there to decide to move my hand? "Who is there to decide to breath in?  Who is there to breathe out?'
    Who, what decides to do anything? If this "I" is just basically a container of the past, social conditioning, a container of beliefs and assumptions?
    What the FUCK is there?

    As soon as I get to that point of dropping language (assuming that those are just symbols with social-conditioned meaning), and asking those questions in a no-question way, like "just looking" sends me into nauseous, suicidal, torture-like feelings, tears start coming (I'm a 27 year old man ffs) and it gets extreme and  I MEAN EXTREMELY hard to continue my self-inquiry session, to the point that this "I" can't take it no more.

    So my question is - How can .. I ? Continue past this point.. I can't even meditate normally anymore, I barely sleep (again) because of nightmares.. I have crazy dejavus of previous dreams that feel insase ...

    I mean - I've had previous similar experiences when practicing kriya yoga, but this is just insane and I'm feeling like my mind is going insane.

    EDIT: Also my intuition is going crazy, How do I know it's intuition? I don't know it. I fucking feel it like I've never felt it since childhood. I ask questions to myself, and receive answers even before I've asked the question and the answer is emotional, not rational, and based on the feeling comes rational decision. ThIs is INSANE.

    Tips?