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About meow_meow

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  1. I've rented two one room (studio type) appartements and now I'm in a hunt for a new one like you. To be honest in my experience - unless you've got the money to rent out the best/luxury apartements then it's pretty much a gamble. It's a gamble in a sense that you can't predict how are your neighbours going to be, you cant predict attitude of your landlord / roommates. It's often a numbers game, in a sense that you go renting numerous apartements untill you finally get the one thats right for you.
  2. Have you watched Leos videos un how fear works & understanding neurosis? Those should open you up. Also Notice how you're assigning meaning to life as "precious and beutifull" which it is, but you'll have to learn how to accept that life will end no matter how bad/good/beutifull/ugly etc it was. Accepting everyithing as it is and letting go of attachment (as much as you can) is IMO key here, this is where meditation gets in the picture. Do you meditate?
  3. Yes, 1P-LSD is also illegal in Baltic states, check wiki. Shroom spores are also illegal, I've done my research.
  4. Yes, I'm serious and I did reach out to a shit ton of people that can provide with a lot of other shit, but no psyches. Eastern EU, and it's probably obvious that people here don't do psyches, and even self-help is unknown territory for most people, unfortunately.
  5. I'd rather have a bad trip that provides me with something I haven't experienced even if its scary and leads to extreme fear (pff I've freaked out from self-inqiry numerous times before) than this useless waste of time that I invested to gain access psychedelics. I took me a damn year to get them. I gues God is having fun lol.
  6. So, I'm 28 years old, I've been on this journey of Truth seeking for 2.5 years, from which the first half a year or so was mainly based on self help. It mainly was oriented towards improoving my life since I was depressed & had a bad alchohol, gambling addiction and I was overweight, bad diet, lived with my parents and so on. I invested a huge chunk of time and suffering to fix those issues. Long story short - I managed to earn enough money to not work for 2.5 - 3 years, I am in shape, dont live with parents and jumped careers, and now do a job i can tolerate. I'm still a wage slave tho. For the past ~2 years i've been meditating for ~45 mins daily, and self-inqiruing for ~30 min every other day. Realisations/experience I've had from doing spiritual practices without psychedelics: 1. Meaning/purpose is arbitrary & relative to me. 2. Have had non-dual experiences. 3. The voice inside my head is not me, neither is the body or any part of it. So after 2 years of spiritual work I decided that I'm ready for psychedelics. I did ~2.5 grams of mushrooms alone, home. I was totally dissapointed! Effects that I had: - Non-dual experience, boundaries between objects no longer existed and there was no way to tell where an object ends and another starts. Colors seemed to blend together. Even tho colors lost their meaning. - Every object that came into my visual field lost its theoretical meaning (story behind it) and it was just was what it is right here and right now. I became more sensitive to colors, sounds and physical sensations. And thats about it, I'm totally dissapointed because I've already experienced that by doing my spiritual practices - meditation, self-inquiry. Psyches at this ammount and potency did not show me anything beyond what I've already experienced. Psyches are extremelly hard to get in my country, so I'm looking forward to not fuck around and jump directly to DMT or LSD as soon as I get my hands on them (it can take years to obtain these subtances here) Thoughts, advice, opinion?
  7. I'd call the guy out as soon as I'd feel disrespected, thats called setting up boundaries. People will test your boundaries and the price of having none is becoming a doormat not only to other men but women aswell. If you let go and do nothing about it the disrespect is most likely to escalate. Also take a look into narcisism.
  8. This might get a little too offtopic , but i'd suggest you really really take some think to rethink this trough. You'll probably feel more fucked if you get into positon that you hate but have to do out of fear that if you dont do this then you'll be truly fucked. This Leos video probably will resonate with you:
  9. For me booredom is engaging in activites that do not trigger specific emotions (fun, excitement, pain, suffering etc) basically any activity that triggers any emotion that replaces booredom. Technically even lying on the bed "doing nothing" is still an activity, its just that that activity triggers booredom in you. Also the laziness or not willingness to engage in some sort of activity leads to booredom. Try either distracting yourself from booredom by engaging in some sort of activity that overdrives the emotion of booredom with other emotions, they dont even have to be positive (the easy way) or try to sit and inquire in to the feeling untill it dissolves and you find peace with it (the hard way) It could be dopamine overload, by that I mean - too much TV, video games, food, sex, porn etc. Try to cut back on it and engage in activities that do not provide short term pleasure (work out, meditate, learn new things, contemplate) all the things you'll most likely feel resistance to. Do that for a while and notice how everyday seems to feel better.
  10. Oh, I thought it could be that you don't have a life purpose and you're joining unconscsiously. Anyway, stay strong bro. I've heard its quite rough in places where it's obligated service.
  11. Or start watching mainstream media to fit in
  12. May I ask - Why are you joining the military?
  13. Because it's vital for your physical survival. I was watching a documentary the other day about a girl who was born without pain - that Is she didn't have such feeling at all. Long story short she poked out her eye with her finger when she was young, had a miserable life and died eventually. Notice how almost every living organism reacts to pain and the only reason for that is to survive.
  14. This sentence is missing one word, and that is "All" - You shouldn't spend all your youth partying. That is - party, socialize, experiment with sex, travel, meet people all you want, but have a purpose, a direction where you're heading to paralell to that. It won't mean shit as long as you get where you're going. When else are you going to party? You're only young once, just be carefull with drugs and ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM.