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About Fearey

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  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y2FAqGO4J0
  2. Leo Gura's video covering this topic is my all time favorite. It also converts scarily well into spiral dynamics and susan cook greuter's ego development stages, although I feel like when you get to a certain place you no longer place any value on emotion or anything else, except for being in awe of, and enjoying the now, as that's all there is. I actually tried to put myself into financial ruin to test myself mentally, but my emotional state never changed. I eventually came to the conclusion that making a bit of money is going to make the temporary experience of observing the universe through a mortal human body as straight-forward and pleasant as possible. I do feel a strange kind of belonging and love for hardship and willingness to put oneself through tough times though, as without it, I could have only dreamt of getting to where I am now. All my personal development growth was made at my mountain cabin, all alone, in solitude. All on my own, free to venture into the depths of my own being. Essentially the perfect storm. In High School I was extremely under developed, and likely in stage Purple or early, immature stage Red at 15-18 years old. I was a complete failure, in everyone's eyes. My friends, my family, etc. Looking back at this, it's surreal to come to the realization that there is a good chance I've not just severely transcended this level of development, but that I have most likely reached far into spiral dynamics stage teal, or earlier parts of the stage after it, which I'd call stage aubergine, as a few others have before. All of these changes happened while completely isolating myself at my mountain cabin, for great lengths of time, being all by myself. No internet, no electricity. Chopping wood, carrying water etc. Maybe my complete failure at High School as an INTP was the catalyst for this, or maybe it was just meant to be. Either way, I'm grateful that I was shaped out to be who I am today, for without it, there would be a near zero percent chance that I would have the motivation to, or willingness to pursue any of this. Getting to the very bottom of my being has for the last 8-10 years been my ultimate goal, but recently, that goal seems to have become less and less important. It's easy enough to say and claim that oneself is, or is connected to God, or that oneself is the creation of all things, but when you actually know this to be true, deep down inside, the quest to figuring out everything about yourself loses meaning. At stage Aubergine, I'm starting to get scared of myself in relation to the world. I want to let everything go its cause as it is right now, with as little intervenience as possible, but deep down know that I could, if i wanted to, shape a great deal of things to my own egoic needs and desires, which I absolutely do not want to do, even though 99% of the human population seems to have a drive to do just that. For all that I know, I know that I know nothing, and that I will never get to the bottom of my own true being, from my current level of consciousness. Live life to the fullest and keep questionining everything. Thank you all for being part of this community, and thank you Leo Gura for creating the most open-minded forum on the entire Internet.
  3. Obsidian is highly scalable. Best note taking app I've ever used.
  4. I currently save between 80 to 85% of my monthly income on average. I rarely spend anything on things that doesn't directly improve my life, as i see no reason to do so.
  5. When your longing for truth becomes greater than your fear of throwing yourself head first into the unknown, you'll do so willingly.
  6. @Moksha You can be very low in both empathy and narcissism, although less common. Usually accompanied by an extremely high level of machiavellianism.
  7. Getting closer to the source of consciousness.
  8. Death can only happen to the physical body. The fear of death ultimately stems from the fear of the unknown. There is nothing to fear.
  9. @Thought Art Failing an exam is not the end of the world. Look back and analyze what went wrong and how you can improve.
  10. Very hard to say why, but I think something that may have contributed positively for me, and would perhaps contribute overwhelmingly negatively to most people, is having gone through lots of hardship in my early adult life and adolescence. Making mistakes, nearing financial bankruptcy on no less than 7 occations, and still being as willing as ever to pursue the unknown, even as my ego is, to ensure it's own survival, pulling every trick in the book at me, to force me to take the more "safe" route forward on every occation. There are likely countless factors that contribute to why someone's at a particular stage. I've been very much alone my entire life, but I learned to live with that, rather than letting it break me, and even to thrive on my own, is something I had to learn. The fact that I'm an INTP 5w4 might also make me more susceptible to this kind of work, and to having an easier time growing than most people, but I could be wrong. Finding out everything there is to know about everything used to be my number 1 priority, until it wasn't. Now I prefer just living in the now and enjoying what life has to offer, at least until my biological body stops functioning and I get to experience reality through something else.
  11. Sadly, for the vast majority of people on this planet, how valuable you are as a person is directly correlated with how much money you make, and how much influence you have over others.
  12. Yes, I view Teal as the stage that comes after stage Coral. Unlike all other stages, I think going through Coral is a one-time experience, as it is, in my view, heavily related to dissolving and ultimately transcending the false self, the self that's viewed as the true self by most people. An example of a false self that you'll have to transcend in Coral would be the notion that your human body is you. Basically everything you've thought to be you, and every notion of self that's hardwired inside of you has to be let go.
  13. There is no value to be had in partaking in, or exposing yourself to these kinds of fake news. Best you can do is block it from your feed, or delete your social media accounts.
  14. The Unitive stage most likely. It appears to be very similar in many ways to what SD Teal looks to be, but I won't say for sure. My knowledge of this model is rather limited, although I've skimmed through the research paper written by Susanne R Cook-Greuter, and watched Leo's three part series on the model.
  15. The one and only challenge/frustration for me is not being able to relate to anyone else, thus ending with me just not communicating my way of perceiving the world with anyone else. There's no value to be had in trying to communicate things nobody around you is able to comprehend.