aurum

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Posts posted by aurum

  1. Posted

    1 hour ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

    This may be a tad lengthy but try to bare with me. 

    So last night I went out to chat up some Stacies and practice socializing. As usual, I find a group to sit near so I can people watch and eavesdrop until the inspiration to swoop in and join the fun occurs. Most of them leave so I go into the main area bar and karaoke room. As I’m standing there, I get tapped on the shoulder and led outside. The female bar owner basically tells me “we don’t like your kind around here” although in a subtle more polite way. When I asked she said the reason was because apparently I said something “extremely inappropriate” to a group of ladies last time I was there. Let me elaborate.

    It was slightly more crowded there that night and I was standing alone watching a game of corn hole. A nearby table of the aforementioned group invites me over to hang out with them. A few more minutes pass and I do. Since I despise small talk I immediately jump into the good stuff which surprisingly seems to not put them off at all. I may have achieved some level of small talk leading up to it but ultimately I ask and get them all to agree that they are indeed open minded and curious of what I have to say. I then proceed to start talking about my fascination with period blood and possible benefits it may have beyond a mere waste product. To put things into perspective for them, I used the example of fecal transplants. “People used to think obviously since shit is pure waste it couldn’t possibly have any health benefit, but now they squirt healthy bacteria rich poop up peoples’ asses to save them from potentially lethal bad bacterias like C. diff as a standard medical procedure. So just imagine all the things we’re still missing out on because the normies deem it too icky to think about.” I go on to speculate of the possible uses of period blood as topical balms or oral supplementation. I also talked about seminal fluid in the same light. Half jokingly, I also said something like, “Perhaps if you were to wire whisk sperm and period together in a goblet, maybe throw in some spirulina/chlorella and light some candles you could make it all ritualistic and call it the Speriod Sundae.” (One of them even acknowledged spirulina being a good ingredient to add.) “Because you would be taking the vital essences of both genders and blending it into a super serum to achieve god tier levels of health and vibrancy.”

    Now here is the most important part. The whole group was completely intrigued and invested in the conversation. It wasn’t one sided because they gave me plenty of feedback. I got genuine smiles and giggles throughout. One of them complimented my skin and said “idk maybe there is something to it because your skin looks amazing.” “Question is how much do I really want to know, L0L” Keep in mind I didn’t suggest I’ve actually tried this, at least not to this extent. The approach ends up being a fun and light hearted interaction and I leave feeling more confident. So unless they were Hollywood level actresses deceiving me, why the actual fuck did they feel the need to report me to management?!!

    The other thing that gets me is while I was being chewed out by the owner, she told me the last few times I’ve been there I’ve made everyone uncomfortable yet she never once warned me of misbehavior, so how the fuck was I supposed to know? I now have a permanent ban even though tons of others are 10x rowdier than I ever am and all they have to do is go home for the night. Also, people sing terribly vulgar songs at karaoke and they all jam out to it. It makes zero sense. 

    Another hypocrisy is what I call the “South Park Bias”. A different much more laidback bartender that I talked to afterwards at the neighboring bar confirmed this. If I would have told them I was completely kidding and I saw it on South Park, odds are it wouldn’t have been nearly as big a deal. In general people love and admire that show for its cutting edge and boundary defying humor. But when random ass me comes along playfully using the exact same humor, suddenly it’s war because I’m not a rich famous content creator yet. 

    Part of the reason I selected this topic to present with is because I’ve been seeing people around this forum and other sources say women love it when a man is able to be bold and talk about whatever is on his mind because it means he’s confident, and it makes them feel more comfortable opening up about the weird thoughts they have. Furthermore, I figured this specific topic would show them I am capable of accepting women for everything that they are, complete with all their functions including the ones 99% of other guys find repulsive. I couldn’t have been more wrong. How is unconditional love not a turn on?

    The other time I got kicked out of a bar was at a different place and it was for very similar reasons. Only that time the manager was nice enough to say I just had to throw in the towel for the night.

    When I arrived home last night, I used the rage to fuel a very juicy workout. Problem is, as usual, I couldn’t turn it off all night. I was burning alive with anger, blood pressure through the roof and heart palpitations all night. I had a kratom, cbd and turmeric stack and it had about as much effect as a queef to a category 5 hurricane. I’m on the verge of fully joining the incel brotherhood but I want to be better than that. The fact that I’m not able or allowed to express myself in the social matrix is currently my biggest challenge. I even told the bar owner that chads and girls get much more leeway than me and she couldn’t give a straight answer.

    Apologies for my poor writing skills and any input on the situation is appropriated.

    TL;DR: kicked out of half the places I try to have fun unless I go full robot.

     

    Brother you need to learn social calibration and how to read cues better.

    Bars do not just kick people out. Notice how you’ve framed this whole situation as if you’ve done nothing wrong and the staff is just being unreasonable. That’s not what happened.

    Bars actually want people there. You pay them pay money. To get kicked out, you basically have to be a complete fuck head. Situations where people are unfairly kicked out are very rare.

    Consider that you actually are being a fuck head. Despite how you interpreted the situation.

  2. Posted

    45 minutes ago, FlyingLotus said:

    Good point!  IMO, you haven't said too much :)

    To all the genuine allies of BIPOC and women and the LGBTQ community, THANK YOU.  You have no idea what a difference it makes to someone who's being unfairly harassed at work, or in school or anywhere for that matter.  It's uncomfortable for victims to talk about because they mostly want to sweep it under the carpet and move on with their life, but the ignorance of others can be demoralizing and all pervasive.  It's bad enough being attacked and even worse feeling alone in the hurt and injustice.

    Thank you for using your gifts to help others instead of sealing yourself in a bubble of entitlement and ignorance.  It gets noticed, even if it doesn't always get mentioned.  

    !!! THANK YOU FOR BEING AN ALLY !!! 

    Healing together ❤️

  4. Posted

    10 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

    a white kid from a broken home also needs more than just money

    needs time and love etc. 

    Of course, no one said otherwise.

    Love is a universal need.

    But saying “well white people need X too!” allows you to disregard historical / current injustices and frame the situation as if things are now totally equal and healed. This is a false frame. And it comes off as childish or even mildly narcissistic.

  5. Posted

    1 hour ago, Striving for more said:

    Would be interesting to hear you list some examples if u know any ... (would also help me understand what owen's actual strengths that are my weakness So I can listen to him with purpose) 

    Well I don’t know him. But he’s certainly been more financially successful in business than I have. So I’m sure I could learn a lot from him in that area.

    1 hour ago, soos_mite_ah said:

    Have no idea who this guy was so I had to google him lol. 

    He looks like fine. Not fat imo. Looks like a normal guy in his 40s. Some people are just built different. Not everyone has to be skinny and/or muscular. 

    For context, Owen has been around the self-help scene for a long time. Like since his mid 20’s. And he was a lot skinnier at one point, which is why guys are making comments.

  7. Posted

    4 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

    Why i have a problem with being a better ally for BIPOC (and not for others who might need it more), because imo it's too racial and divisive

     

    Being an ally is about far more than supporting POC financially. In fact I would say that’s only a small piece of it.

    We are talking about healing cultural and collective wounding.

    Us (white people) basically built our entire nation on oppressing POC.

    Doesn’t mean white people are inherently evil. But there’s still major wounding here that has not been addressed. It’s palpable.

  9. Posted

    @RoerAmit

    I’ve never done Aya. But from what I’ve heard, you want to make sure you respect all the rules and guidelines they give you. Even if it seems pedantic and unnecessary, follow them anyway.

    It’s a bit like meeting someone for the first time. You’ve got to build a relationship before you can just kick your shoes off and do whatever you want. And even then, you still want to respect the medicine as a being in its own right and honor that relationship.

    As far as the actual ceremony, no one really knows what kind of experience you will get. You might be confronted with patterns or stories you didn’t want to look at. Or you may just be basking in infinite love.

    Just surrender to wherever she wants to take you.

  10. Posted

    On 10/4/2021 at 0:31 PM, Terell Kirby said:

    I would like to hear from Leo and others if they feel the institution of science is the only thing that stands in front of mass human awakening to God.

    It’s certainly not the only thing. There are many factors that are blocking mass awakening.

    But the good news is that all these blocks will eventually eat themselves. Mass awakening in that sense is inevitable, and even the blocks themselves are helping leading us there.

    On 10/4/2021 at 0:31 PM, Terell Kirby said:

    To me, it is surely the case. However, how do we deconstruct something that is critical to our survival as humans? Isn’t it a slim to zero chance the Church of Science will ever get overthrown, leading to a new regime of God realized beings to emerge as the rulers of the Kingdom of Heaven?

     

    That’s not how this works.

    Science is not some evil that needs to be destroyed by us God realized beings. 

    Think integration, not “overthrowing”.

    We don’t need to get rid of science. We just need people to understand its limits and proper domain. Right now, it has overstepped where it belongs and what it is capable of.

    On 10/4/2021 at 0:31 PM, Terell Kirby said:

    Science is mainstream, and we all know how much collective ego backlash occurs when going against the mainstream. I now see why Leo harps on psychedelics, going up again a monster like the materialist paradigm requires extreme measures if we are talking mass scale awakening , traditional methods like yoga and meditation has no chance against science and institutions/cultural norms it influences.

    Again, we are not waging war on science.

    If you are waging war on anything, you’ve been deluded. So put down the pitchforks.

    Will psychedelics, meditation, yoga etc unravel the materialist paradigm? Of course. Will it help people realize the limits of science? Of course.

    But not as a war. It will just be the natural outcome of people experimenting with these tools.

  11. Posted

    2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

    @aurum You are trying quite hard to install a limiting belief in me like : "You cannot talk to girls by yourself, you need someone with you". I will do it solo if i want and so be it. 

    You certainly can do it. I’ve done it. I’m not claiming it’s impossible to get some level of results that way. You can do whatever you want.

    But you are making it way, way harder than it needs to be. And most guys will never find success that way. I know I wouldn’t have.

    Saying this is not a limiting belief. It’s not a limiting belief to say that cooperation, help and support is more powerful than trying to do everything yourself. That’s what all of society is built on. Interdependence.

    But of course most people, including just about all pickup guys, have trauma relative to relationships. Which is the whole reason they have to do pua in the first place.

    So when I suggest that getting good at pua actually involves forming relationships, that’s a no-go.

    Guys would rather try to fulfill some sort of individualist, lone wolf fantasy. They don’t trust people. They’re afraid of being vulnerable. And it manifests as them not liking people and not liking socializing.

    All of this is coming from past pain.

    And it could be that this isn’t the case for you. Maybe your relationship to relationships and socializing is healthy. I don’t know. I don’t know you.

    But this is the trend I’ve seen over and over again having been the pua community for years. Traumatized guys, trying to avoid real socializing and real relationships. Trying to be a pua troll that come out of their basement whenever they want, fuck a girl, and then go back to their basement.

    It never works. And if it did, that’s even sadder.

    So yes I push hard on this point. Especially since people are so socially isolated from covid. I’m going to continually hammer that guys need to actually have wings and friends if they want to learn this.

  13. Posted

    1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

    That is totally fine. However there is no way i am spending dozens of hours on making friends i do not like just to get sex.

    That it will take too much “time” is just your excuse for not doing this.

    You don’t actually care about the time.

    In the time it took for us to have this conversation, you probably could have already made multiple friends.

    The alternative is you spending even more time, spinning your wheels.

    1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

    I would rather hit on girls during that time.

    Which will likely get you no where except frustrated.

    1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

    To me the whole point of pick up is to be self reliant about your sex life, kinda like being financially independent.

    No, the whole point of pickup is to get the girl. Which, from what I gather from your posts, you are not.

    Dating is inherently social. Its never been something people were self reliant on. There is a reason why almost every guy meets women through their social circle, and it’s not that they’re all a bunch of losers who can’t approach. 

    And why would you even want to be self-reliant? As long as you don’t fall into toxic co-dependency, it’s so much better to rely on other people. It’s way more fun and it’s waaaay easier.

    1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

    If i want to make friends just to get laid i can just do social circle, works much better.

    Good, then go do that. Forget about cold approach. Not every guy needs to do it.

  14. Posted

    52 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

    Know any details? I’ll bet they got accused of hate speech or something similar. Because how dare they teach guys how to improve themselves and socialize in a way women find attractive, right? 

    Cancel culture strikes again 

    Don’t just blame cancel culture.

    No one is mad that guys are improving themselves. That just fuels a self-righteous attitude. It’s more complex than that. 

    And there are some legitimately shady things taught in the pua world.

    I think RSD was definitely one of the better group of teachers and had healthier teachings overall. But the overall industry has lots of toxicity.

  17. Posted

    3 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

    to create the connection, to lead, to build the attraction, the intimacy, the rapport,

    Firstly, I’d say all these things are not just the man’s responsibility.

    It may be practical to assume that responsibility at times, but it’s not really how these things work.

    You cannot build intimacy or anything else on that list in a vacuum.

    Both the man and woman are equal parts of that dance.

    Seeing it otherwise creates resentment. “How come the man has to do everything? It’s not fair”.

  18. Posted

    36 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

    @aurum Well my guy friends either have girlfriends, are not interested in pickup or do not enjoy going to bars/clubs. Solutions (outside going solo ofc)?

    As I already said in this thread, hit the online forums.

    This is where a sizeable number of pua guys still congregate.

    And go to local pua events. Like if RSD does a free tour or event in your city, 100% go to that.

    Otherwise, I would make friends with some of those party animals who you don’t resonate with. I know it’s not ideal, but if your intention is to get good at pickup, those guys can help you with that.

  19. Posted

    1 hour ago, WDK said:

    Do you have a forum you'd recommend?

    Seddit (r/seduction on Reddit) was decent back in the day. I have no idea how it is now, I haven’t used it in years.

    RSD forums were also decent. But they’ve been shut down last I heard.

    You’ll just have to google around. As long as you’re in a major city, you should have no problem finding at least one or two guys. Don’t be picky at first, if they’re willing to go out, that’s good enough. 

    1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

    @Leo Gura My friends do not like going to clubs or have partners. Therefore i am required to go solo. Yes it is hard but grows you the most i think. I tried it once (kinda) and it was fucking hard but i enjoyed it in a strange way. I do not tend to vibe well at all with party animals and therefore it is more convienent for me to just go out alone than to spend dozens of hours befriending people i do not like and kissing their ass just to get them as a wingman. Personal choice i guess.

    I would give this narrative up.

    You are spending even more dozens of hours trying to learn something that isn’t meant to be achieved alone.

    It’s not about kissing ass. I never once kissed ass and I had literally dozens of wingmen when I was going out regularly.

    When guys see that you approach hard and get results, they will be begging to go out with you.

    And if you’re not going out with “wingmen”, then at the very least you need to be going out with normal friends.

    Nothing else will sky rocket your results like this. Nothing.

  20. Posted

    4 hours ago, Striving for more said:
    • I guess I haven't tried hard enough to find a wing
    • If I go out a lot, socialize with upbeat guys not just women, go to pub crawls, sports events, speak to strangers find events & hobbies every day, take every chance ... I should be able to find one

     

    I know you get this already, but I’ll just reiterate my POV for other guys reading this. Having good wings is arguably the most important part of learning pickup.

    And by “good”, I just mean guys who are willing to go out a lot and approach.

    You cannot do this alone.

    Even if you want to go out solo to push your comfort zone and strengthen your independence, that should still be a minority of your nights out.

    The vast majority should involve other people you know. Which can also include female friends who are maybe not formal “wings”.

    In you’re in a major city, hit the online forums. There will be other guys who are into this. Message them or post an ad.

    If you don’t live in a major city, then your goal should be to move to one. Trying to learn pickup in a small town doesn’t work, you need lots of people.

  22. Posted

    @charlie cho

    These kind of nights are common for new guys learning pickup. You’re going to feel like you’ve been by a truck. They do get less frequent, but I’m not sure they ever go away. Usually in a day or two you’ll feel fine.

    One of the things I used to do when I felt like that was watch RSD videos. Not even to really learn anything, just for the encouragement. 

    If you live in a major city, I’d consider either joining or starting a group of guys who are into learning pickup. Online forums are where it’s at for this kind of thing.

  24. Posted

    28 minutes ago, zazen said:

    As Leo mentioned good game is undetectable. Those guys probably never developed those skills for a myriad of reasons growing up, their trying new behaviours which are unnatural to them which comes across in congruent. 
     

    I’m not talking about behaviors that are pro-social but just happen to be outside your comfort zone.

    If approaching a stranger or asking for a phone number is outside your comfort zone, I agree you need to learn that.

    I am talking about having been in the community for many years and witnessing many guys go through it. A lot of what goes down is manipulative and / or anti-social behavior.

    This guise of “we’re just learning to become more congruent” is often just a convenient excuse. 

    34 minutes ago, zazen said:

    The better focus would be in their state of BEing, which translates to their BEhaviours. Pick up used to be focused on the behaviour aspect, now more inner game etc their looking at changing the being, which will naturally bring about attractive behaviours instead of the other way round. Although, give a guy a few attractive behaviours to emulate, he starts getting some success, which changes his state of being, which brings about those behaviours more naturally in the end, and more success. 

    That’s the theory at least.

    It doesn’t often happen that way. But I agree that more of a focus on inner game is necessary if the community is going to evolve. Its gotta eventually go stage Green. 

    Of course by that point, it won’t even be pickup anymore. It will just be socially atuned, emotionally intelligent men being men. And they won’t have much interest in trying to pick up huge numbers of women.

  25. Posted

    56 minutes ago, zazen said:

    The reason pick up gets frowned upon is because people think the guys learning it are being fake, or that they aren't the article

    Because many times they are being fake.

    And it’s not this evo-psych narrative that women just don’t want to be impregnated with inferior beta-male genes. No one wants to be manipulated or taken advantage of. It’s egotism and anti-social behavior.