matue vs immature selfishness
How to develop Machiavellian traits?Many people think being 'selfish' is a no-no word. Something that's bad, something that's not spiritual.
Also, people often think that being selfish means hurting others. It may happen that other people get triggered and thereby they basically hurt themselves, but that's not your fault as long as your intentions are pure and that your intention is not to hurt anyone. It is perfectly possible to be selfish yet being compassionate and at the very least be aware and caring towards the feelings of others. Sometimes, however, you will have to do certain things that others may not like but which ultimately is for the better.
In reality, existence is an interplay of giving and taking/receiving. It's just that you make sure that when you take or receive you generally want to try to make it a win-win situation. Mind you, something being a win-win situation might not look like a win-win situation. For instance, if you're in a phase where you really want to develop a sense of autonomy where you want to listen to what feels right to you, where you want to protect your boundaries, and where you want to learn how to do what YOU want, you might for instance simply refuse to do certain tasks other people ask from you if this strains you too much or takes too much energy for you. What allows you to be able to justify that for yourself is to see how important it is for you to learn to really listen to yourself an protect yourself, and to see that what you're doing is for the greater good; especially if other people asking you to do certain things is just something they do habitually, but which wouldn't really hurt them if they did it themselves.
Take my own example; it's maybe a bit extreme and I'm certainly not saying this is the ideal life or even the ideal outlook, but there are important lessons to be learned from this:
I went through a phase where, living with my parents, I refused to listen to anything they told me I should do. I didn't clean up anything, I didn't want to study so I didn't, I didn't want to do any work; All I did was to really be in my room, read spiritual literature, to contemplate a lot and think about life, to entertain myself with Youtube video's and start getting some enjoyment in my life, and to do video gaming. Eventually I also decided not to eat with them at the dinner table anymore, because every time there was dinner there would be this tension between us and I could just sense the tension, and sometimes my parents would indeed start saying I should do certain things or I should change, which I really didn't want to do, so eventually I started to avoid them even there.
All of this was to protect myself from the outside world and its demands and expectations. I wanted to shape and create a life that I wanted, that I saw fit, not what other people wanted me to do or become. I wanted to live towards the vision that I saw for myself. I understood that I was triggering people but I had not intention to harm anybody. In fact, the anger that people towards me was not because I was doing something to them, it is because I was not doing the things they wanted me to do. I failed their expectations but I wasn't actively trying to bother anyone. In fact, I wanted to keep things as much to myself as possible, to be as independent as possible. I understood that other people being triggered and angry wasn't necessarily my fault, but that this was a part of themselves that they were responsible for, not me. Whatever emotions are yours, you are responsible for them, not the other, and the same applied to them, I knew. But that also means you are responsible for the conflict and distress you will come to feel if others get triggered by you
And all of this I understood was important because I was important. I don't mean that in some egoic comparative sense, that I am superior and better than others. That's not what I mean. I mean that I knew that there was great potential within me to be a great force of love, light and Goodness to the world, and that it was my time to cocoon, to form my shield and go through an inner transformation comparable to when a caterpillar becomes a cocoon to start forming a butterfly. A cocoon needs a strong protective shield and it needs to a certain degree hide from the world in order to fully focus on its transformation, to fully focus its energies on its inner journey.
Too little people take full ownership over their lives. Too little people are willing to take the steering wheel and boat their ship, listening to their inner voice to go into the direction that that inner voice is telling them to go, even if the whole world including their social conditioning is telling them otherwise.
I'm not saying that saying f*** it to the world and being as selfishly as possible is the ultimate solution. We do however grow impartially, so taking some years to really focus on yourself, to follow your intuition, your vision and your desires certainly isn't a bad thing. It's the growing of the roots. Learning how to set boundaries means you're creating a shield for your energetical space (your aura, you could say), and now that this aura is protected you have the chance to really work on it without constantly worrying about it being affected from interference from the outside world, which is distracting and disregulating you.
Learning how to fend for yourself, how to protect your energetical space and following your intuition, gives you a great sense of grounding and confidence. You get to know who you are and what you want, and you start to become clear about what it is that serves you, and what it is that does not serve you, and you will be able to communicate this very clearly and directly to others. You know who you are and what you want, and therefore it is not difficult and therefore it is not difficult to say NO to someone or something if you know that that is not going to serve you in the greater good.
Mind you, there is mature selfishness and immature selfishness. Be very conscious about that distinction here.
Immature selfishness means you're blaming others for your own situation, feelings and shortcomings. You do not take responsibility and as far as you are concerned the whole world is at fault except yourself.
Mature selfishness sees that these things are your responsibility, and that you are responsible for solving them, and that you're willing to set boundaries to first close off interference from the outside world and then correct these situations, feelings and shortcomings by taking responsibility for them and working with them.
Immature selfishness refuses to do certain things for others because one feels offended by someone else trying to burden them with something, and refuses to cooperate out of anger, hatred or bitterness. It is much more like a middle-finger approach.
Mature selfishness may also refuse to cooperate or agree with requests or demands, but here one does not refuse to do such things out of anger or bitterness, but because one is conscious that one wants to utilize their time, energy and resources for things that one sees to be more valuable at that point for their psychological, energetical or spiritual development. One has a vision for themselves which is a top priority, and many things that are not in alignment with that vision have to be left aside, at least for the time being. On top of that, things that are being asked or demanded from the outside world may also simply be experienced as very stressful, draining or demanding and here one realizes that doing things from this negative place is ultimately not going to do anyone any good, not in the big picture at least.
In a nutshell, immature selfishness is about blame and bitterness, mature selfishness is about self-protection, ownership and authenticity
To come in better contact with this capacity of self-governance or ownership of your life, just start asking yourself questions as to why it is or as to why it could be important. What purpose does selfishness fulfill? What does it give me? What does it allow me to do? What do I sacrifice for not protecting my own boundaries? How, in the big picture, can me being selfish also serve others in the long-term or even short-term? (Very important question!) How can me developing these qualities ultimately serve the greater good? (because it certainly can and does).
Contemplate these questions, and really go deeply into it. Then you will start to see that there is much more depth and validity to selfishness than you would have previously imagined.
Also, if you're maybe afraid to make changes to take more ownership over the direction of your life, ask yourself these questions: What am I willing to make sacrifices for? If I don't take certain risks or make certain sacrifices, is the life I will have then going to be worth it? Is the bad really going to outweigh the good that could come from this?
If you have any more personal questions or comments, you are free to send me a private message
If the dating market is a market, then why it's not regulated,at least online datingYou pulled these numbers out of your ass? Even let's pretend it's true, what prevents YOU as a current victim from becoming the top 15%?
Looks? Money? Charisma? Self-Love?
Check you're limiting beliefs.
Grow some balls.
Talk to girls.
Practice self love.
Watch the charisma on command YouTube channel.
There are *infinitely* many things you could do to improve your situation.
Trust me, I've been where you are.
The victim mindset.
But it's possible to get out.
Hard work as you say. Rewarding AF tho. Let's go bro ??????
You keep talking from the pov of guys.
What about the poor women who can't find any confident, funny, charismatic, strong guys?
They're left with dog shit: shy, unconfident boys like you (and me +2 years ago) ???
Screw the good luck part. I wanna take your false victim mind set and throw in the bin. Screw that. There's no luck in this dream you're dreaming as God pretending to be Karmadhi.
Absolutely speaking: Everything is happening very very very delibaretly; "luck" is just something you imagine!
This is puke inducing to read for me.
Look bro. Human beings, women, girls are NOT a fucking commodity you sick fuck. For fuck sake. Jesus christ.
They are human beings! Go and talk to them!! Be funny, say something silly. What's the worst thing that can happen? Are you afraid they will instantly shove your pants off and bite your dick off if you approach them?
Let go of limiting beliefs.
The world -- existence, life -- will never be good unless you are willing to see its goodness. What you experience depends on how you look at things.
When you look with judgement -- either upon yourself, the world or both -- life seems twisted and empty.
When you begin to look with an open heart and mind, life becomes fascinating and full of both meaning and mystery.
When you realize the perfection, intelligence and beauty of everything in existence precisely as it is (without the filters of ego; yes, drop them - let go!), you see that every outcome is a good one. You start to live life fully without fear and regret. You learn and move on.
When you look with love instead of judgement, you see a whole different world.
Life isn't easy all the time. You're not alone.
For there to be joy, there has to be some pain. So instead of looking at the painful life-phases that you're undergoing as "bad", look at them as absolutely necessary and beneficial in the long run for your own growth and eventual happiness. Remember, nothing lasts forever, everything passes away at some point.
0. Knowledge is but a rumor until it lives in the body/bones.
1. Reality is non-dual. Non-duality means: Not one, not two. The question is: do you get it or not?
For example, let's take the extreme duality: good - bad . Obviously complete opposites. Right?
Well, not so fast. "Apply non-duality to it":
Reality is not: bad
Reality is not: good (either)
Reality is not: "good AND bad" (paradox).
Reality is: __________________ (Or you 'could' say: "bad-good").
2. To let go of power is to gain power.
3. To let go of control is to gain control
The real unreal
The unreal real
Form is Emptiness,
Emptiness is Form.
You can't eat the menu.
The map is not the territory.
The finger pointing to the moon...
is NOT the moon.
Stop trying to live life in your head!
Can you bite your own teeth? Can eyes looking out ever see from where they are looking? Can a fist grasp itself?...
What a caterpillar calls the end of the world..., we call a ??? butterfly.
Haha more victim mindset.
Of course dude, for there to be guys who are wanted there has to be guys who are not wanted.
You see? You can't have light without dark, up without down, heads without tails, better without worse. Etc.
Life is a musical thing. A dance. Go out and participate. Play some fucking nodes instead of wasting life on this silly forum. Dance!?????♂️
No, it's also about you. Problems are something YOU (as God) are imagining into existence.
“This is IT! So you don’t need to do anything at all… It’s just the way it is. What’s required is a sort of act of super relaxation.. It’s not just letting go. It’s being with yourself as you are without altering anything.”
~ Alan Watts
“When you look for your own mind, that is to say, your own particularized center of being which is separate from everything else, you won’t be able to find it. But the only way you’ll know it isn’t there is if you look for it hard enough, to find out that it isn’t there.
And so everybody says ‘All right, know yourself, look within, find out who you are.’ Because the harder you look, you won’t be able to find it, and then you’ll realize it isn’t there at all. There isn’t a separate you. You’re mind is what there is. Everything. But the only way to find that out is to persist in the state of delusion as hard as possible….
So if a person believes that the Earth is flat, you can’t talk him out of that. He knows it’s flat. Look out the window and see; it’s obvious, it looks flat. So the only way to convince him it isn’t is to say ‘Well let’s go and find the edge.’ And in order to find the edge, you’ve got to be very careful not to walk in circles, you’ll never find it that way.
So we’ve got to go consistently in a straight line due west along the same line of latitude, and eventually when we get back to where we started from, you’ve convinced the guy that the world is round. That’s the only way that will teach him. Because people can’t be talked out of illusions.
There is another possibility, however. But this is more difficult to describe. Let’s say we take as the basic supposition–which is the thing that one sees in the experience of satori or awakening, or whatever you want to call it–that this now moment in which I’m talking and you’re listening, is eternity.
That although we have somehow conned ourselves into the notion that this moment is ordinary, and that we may not feel very well, we’re sort of vaguely frustrated and worried and so on, and that it ought to be changed.
This is IT! So you don’t need to do anything at all. But the difficulty about explaining that is that you mustn’t try and not do anything, because that’s doing something. It’s just the way it is. In other words, what’s required is a sort of act of super relaxation; it’s not ordinary relaxation.
It’s not just letting go, as when you lie down on the floor and imagine that you’re heavy so you get into a state of muscular relaxation. It’s not like that. It’s being with yourself as you are without altering anything.
And how to explain that? Because there’s nothing to explain. It is the way it is now. See? And if you understand that, it will automatically wake you up!”
Life is not a problem to solve, but an experience to be had. However, sure - you can imagine all kinds of problems that "should" be solved (in order for you & the ? to be at peace ?️), but that is just it: imagination, fantasy, a dramatic good movie, a theater play, a book, a game... play ???.
Life is what you choose to experience. The ultimate meaning of life is very simple: it's life itself! Of course! But this is so obvious that almost no one seems to buy into it, and everyone runs around in great panic and try desperately to achieve something beyond themselves.
There isn't anything wrong with trying to achieve something beyond oneself, as long as one remembers it's just a cute game.
But of course, we should all strive to make it a good game, a good dream, a good book, a good play, a good film...with total redemption for all dream-characters in the end ??❤️?.
There’s aren’t enough words to describe how powerful this video is for me. It’s in my iPod and every single morning before I lift I listen to this speech. It’s absolutely stunning. Inspirational. Motivating. It’s everything to me. I would like for you to watch it and tell me what you think.
We all should dream big.
Without going after our dream, we cannot possibly live our best life. It is there for a reason. It’s necessary that we follow it…not just an option:
"If you awaken from this illusion and you understand that black implies white, self implies other, life implies death (or shall I say death implies life?), you can feel yourself – not as a stranger in the world, not as something here on probation, not as something that has arrived here by fluke - but you can begin to feel your own existence as absolutely fundamental.
I am not trying to sell you on this idea in the sense of converting you to it, I want you to play with it. I want you to think of its possibilities, I am not trying to prove it. I am just putting it forward as a possibility of life to think about. So then, let’s suppose that you were able every night to dream any dream you wanted to dream, and that you could, for example, have the power within one night to dream 75 years of time, or any length of time you wanted to have.
And you would, naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure you could conceive. And after several nights of 75 years of total pleasure each you would say “Well that was pretty great. But now let’s have a surprise, let’s have a dream which isn’t under control, where something is gonna happen to me that I don’t know what it's gonna be."
And you would dig that and would come out of that and you would say “Wow that was a close shave, wasn’t it?”. Then you would get more and more adventurous and you would make further- and further-out gambles what you would dream. And finally, you would dream where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today.
That would be within the infinite multiplicity of choices you would have. Of playing that you weren't God, because the whole nature of the godhead, according to this idea, is to play that he is not. So in this idea then, everybody is fundamentally the ultimate reality, not God in a politically kingly sense, but god in the sense of being the self, the deep-down basic whatever there is. And you are all that, only you are pretending you are not."
- Watts up, Alan?
"It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble,
there lies your treasure.
The very cave you are afraid to enter
turns out to be the source of
what you are looking for.
The damned thing in the cave
that was so dreaded
has become the center.
You find the jewel,
and it draws you off.
In loving the spiritual,
you cannot despise the earthly."
- J. Campbell.
From the english wiki about <Lila> ('divine play' in hinduism//sanskrit) :
"The basic recurring theme in Hindu mythology is the creation of the world by the self-sacrifice of God—"sacrifice" in the original sense of "making sacred"—whereby God becomes the world which, in the end, becomes again God. This creative activity of the Divine is called lila, the play of God, and the world is seen as the stage of the divine play. Like most of Hindu mythology, the myth of lila has a strong magical flavour. Brahman is the great magician who transforms himself into the world and then performs this feat with his "magic creative power", which is the original meaning of maya in the Rig Veda. The word maya—one of the most important terms in Indian philosophy—has changed its meaning over the centuries. From the might, or power, of the divine actor and magician, it came to signify the psychological state of anybody under the spell of the magic play. As long as we confuse the myriad forms of the divine lila with reality, without perceiving the unity of Brahman underlying all these forms, we are under the spell of maya. (...) In the Hindu view of nature, then, all forms are relative, fluid and ever-changing maya, conjured up by the great magician of the divine play. The world of maya changes continuously, because the divine lila is a rhythmic, dynamic play. The dynamic force of the play is karma, an important concept of Indian thought. Karma means "action". It is the active principle of the play, the total universe in action, where everything is dynamically connected with everything else. In the words of the Gita Karma is the force of creation, wherefrom all things have their life."
My metaphysics right there.
Believe in the story that gives you most inner joy. Anything else is a form of silly autism.
OneNote Possible Replacement
A new commonplace book software.Two year back I heard Leo talk about the advantage of keeping an commonplace book. He also recommended to use Onenote 2010 as a primary software for keeping notes. I did that for two years but suddenly my Onenote 2010 software crashed which scared me for a while because I did took all my notes on it for the last two years. I bought the office 2016 suite and opened it but all the format was ruined and the hyperlinks had all became useless. I began to think from that point on if this again happens in the future what will I do? I thought and did some research on that for a while than I found a alternative software to Onenote which is free. The software's name is Obsidian.md ( Here is the official website. ) I did had a lot of pain on migrating to obsidian.md but it was all worth it.
Why obsidian.md instead of Onenote?
One of the top reason is that it is future proofed. It is future proofed because your notes are all plain text based which means that as long there are computers that can read plain text (markdown). It is free. Short and sweet. It has a amazing UI and the graph view is just mind blowing. Files are stored in your local file system which makes your personal data more secure. As Leo says to choose the software which has an powerful tag search. This software includes that too. No lock-in. It is future proofed. Even if somehow obsidian shutdown you are still able to read your notes because the notes can even be opened by a simple text editor like notepad. It has an interactive graph which shows what is linked in your notes. I can't explain it well you must see it for yourself. This could be an example :-(https://publish.obsidian.md/help/Plugins/Graph+view). But it is much more cool when you have thousands of notes like I have. I also came across personal knowledge management (PKM) which is an interesting topic while trying to learn it. If anyone of you is interested on migrating to obsidian than the following links might help you.
This channel is good for beginners trying to use obsidian. The channels name is linking your thinking. He has a playlist for beginners which is really great to get started on it. There is Obsidian Help vault which will help you to know the app better. If you don't know where it is then it is on the bottom of the app. Making your own notes on obsidian will be better than copying that of others. Markdown is easy to learn but sometimes can be complicated if you don't get a hang of it. But I think looking at the obsidian help vault you may be able to learn it. It may be really hard to migrate to obsidian because it kind of lacks on it. Sometimes you must just bite the bullet you know. I had thousands of notes on my Onenote, I copied all my notes just by copying and pasting them in obsidian. If you haven't started keeping commonplace book, lucky for you, you might just start to keep it using obsidian. The only downfall is that it doesn't have an mobile app but I think no one will be using mobile for taking their notes
I am still kind of a newbie in using this app but I hope this will help you in some sort of way. The channel that I just mention above was also my starting point hope it helps you. For some reason I have a feeling that Leo already knows about this app because he is just an amazing guy bring out various new concepts to our lives. If Leo is reading this than my life has been changed because of you especially because of the video called life advice for young people part 2. I actually realized from that video how much work and effort you were keeping to produce the Content of yours.
I am sorry for any of my grammatical errors.
Personality types and history of management
Daily JourneySelf-Actualization & the History of Management
• Myers Briggs is the most famous and widely used method of personality typing.
º We take in information in one of two ways. Through sensing (S), or through
intuition (N). We process that information through thinking (T) or through feeling
º Development can be traced along the following combinations of these personality
a. SF (Sensing/Feeling): Gross motor skills. The emphasis is on strength,
endurance, and physical attributes. As a society, we first evolved as hunter
gatherers that relied on the prowess of the hunter. With the exception of
professional athletes, the modern day embodiment of these characteristics,
tend to be lower paid wage earners in the manual labor field.
b. ST (Sensing/Thinking): The next thing to develop is fine motor skills. Hand eye
coordination, typified in artisans, craftsmen. The neurosurgeon being an
example. Society tends to reward these people with more money.
c. NF (Intuition/Feeling): Verbal skills. Has a higher developed ability to
communicate with others, express themselves, and read emotions. They tend
to be caregivers, hippies, and the financial outlier being the singer and
d. NT (Intuition/Thinking) Analytic/Synthetic construction. This is the last thing to
develop. These skills allow us to see and move into the future. Abstract
• Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
º Maslow was a friend of Clare Graves.
º Postulated that humans have a fews basic needs and that our focus goes at
fulfilling these needs in order.
a. Survival. Includes food shelter etc. and anything that threatens that survival.
º A power mode, in which we are powerless, and in a state of struggle.
Concerned with the present.
b. Safety and Security. Security from going back to survival mode.
º Usually about one paycheck to the next. More control of your environment is
c. Love, Affection, and Belonging. Once security is met, relationships are the next
º Time frames extend to the seasons.
d. Ego and Self-esteem. Creativity, human expression.
º Time frames envelop careers, and extend 20-30 years.
e. Self-Actualization. Actualizing certain potentialities within one’s self.
º It is a lifetime experience. Never ending experience.
f. Self-Transformation. A state beyond Self-Actualization.
º Transcends time.
• What would it mean for you to be self-actualized?
º Maslow describes self-actualization by the following, highly interpretable
a. Superior perception of reality.
b. An increased acceptance of self, others, and nature.
c. Increased spontaneity.
d. Increase in problem centering.
e. Increased detachment and privacy.
f. Increased autonomy and resistance to inculturation.
g. Greater freshness and appreciation of emotional reaction.
h. Higher frequency of peak experiences.
i. Increased identification with the human species.
j. Improved interpersonal relations.
k. More democratic character structure.
l. A greatly increased creativeness.
m.Certain changes in the value system.
• Mechanistic model of Management.
º The view that a system is like a machine, and the people like machine parts. If a
part is faulty or inefficient, it is simply replaced.
• Organic model of Management.
º Growth the primary focus of business.
º The people in organizations need to be looked after and developed.
• Social System model.
º Organizations are made up of employees, customers, and suppliers, and it existed
in a culture and a society and should have a responsibility to that society.
º The needs of the employees and the customers should be attended to.
• In order to move on, a number of conditions must be in place.
º You need to have some idea of what the next level looks like.
º Contradictions in your current model arise.
• It’s important to transcend and INCLUDE. Everything that came before is not useless
when moving to a new level, and a common mistake is to abandon everything.
HQ Resources and Documentaries
List meta-sources here!These meta-resources are buried deep in this subforum, so I'll repost them in this thread so we can have them all in one place.
As you can see, lately I'm kind of hoarding these book lists
This one recommends books based on the mystical tradition (Buddhism, Christianity...) you're interested in and sorts them by "levels" of how advanced they are:
And here is a list of +300 mind expanding documentaries sorted into topics from politics to religion to drugs to science and everything else:
Here is a book list by the same person, about the future and innovation, also subdivided into various topics:
If necessary for reference, here are the links to the original threads (not much else to them tho):