Cocolove

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Posts posted by Cocolove

  1. Posted

    On 1/26/2023 at 5:04 PM, meta_male said:

    It's going to sting even more if it doesn't work out. This shouldn't hold you back though if the two of you have unconditional love for each other and you're 100% sure you're not co-dependant...

    I don't know the details of your situation or whether she feels the same way. Is it going to be what's best for her long term?

     

    Yea it did sting more breaking up the second time since it didn't work out lmao.

    We are working on being less codependent. Both using this time to be work on okay on our own hoping that once we are more independent we can be interdependent. She says she is just so unhealthy and jealous/paranoid after finding out I slept with other girls while we were apart the first time and she thinks the only way we can have a healthy relationship is if she is okay on her own first.

    Yea it would be best long term. She also hopes and wants me to come home to see her in a month but she just thinks we need to be different people for it to work.

     

    @Leo Gura Okay yea thank you. I wasn't going to let you cockblock me but I was just curious I've been watching you for 6 years and it's been so transformative so I value your opinion a lot. 

    Maybe I do need to learn.

     

     

     

    @Dazgwny Thanks. I guess logically there must be plenty of occurances of this.

  2. Posted

    On 1/24/2023 at 5:15 AM, meta_male said:

     

    You can't grow on your own while still hoping to get back together in the future.

    Are you sure? am I not making any progress right now?

    I know that whether we get back together or not, I need to feel the pain and work on having positive habits and making myself happy.

    For the past 9 days I have been in absolute misery just such horrible heartache and constantly thinking about it and panicking. I've just been breathing through it and feeling the pain and not distracting myself because I know it's what I need to do. Are you saying that if I'm also hoping things work out between us, that I am not healing at all?

    Am I just torturing myself and putting myself through a bunch of unnecessary pain for no reason, do you think all this pain is just from me hoping we will get back together. I keep telling myself we might not get back together and I will be okay and I need to shift my mindset to be okay no matter what happens but it just seems there is nothing I can do to stop myself from constantly hoping that we will get back together and have a healthy relationship.

  3. Posted

    But we really are not fully broken up, I plan to fly to her to see her in a month as friends and we will see if we have grown enough to have a healthy relationship.

    On 1/24/2023 at 5:15 AM, meta_male said:

    .there's a reason you two broke up instead of working out a way to grow together.

    But what if what we need to in order to have a healthy relationship is to break up and be apart so we can be okay on our own first, and have an interdependent instead of codependent relationship.

  6. Posted

    Yea this is such a big dilemma for me i just really realy]ly hope it works out with this specific person after we take time to work on being more independent. and if you're right that there is no reason that makes sense I need to understand because thats my whole mindset right now is that im doing this for myself but also hopefully or us. If I actually need to fully let go of that possibility that's going to be a whole another thing mentally.

    We lived together for years and our problems aren't that bad they are things that we can totally overcome if we are more independent first.

  7. Posted

    @Roy Oh wow funny I just made a new post asking this. 

    I just don't understand why you should never. That makes it sound like you're saying if the two people really love each other, and grow a lot separately, they can't ever overcome the problems that made it so they had to be apart. In my situation, we both hope we can get back together after we grow and work on our issues of codependency. Just happened a few days ago.

  8. Posted

    After a 3 year relationship with so many great things I don't know how I can avoid not constantly hoping things will work out between us once we have both grown and changed and worked on our issues. 

    Here you are so adamant that once you break up with someone you should never get back together, which in principle can't always be true I don't understand.

    Why can't two people grow on their own and if they genuinely fix the problems they had, get back together. Why must you start all over with someone new if you couldn't make it work at one point. 

     

     

  9. Posted

    On 1/18/2023 at 6:31 PM, Roy said:

     

    Meeting and sleeping with new girls will also help. You'll realize that there are plenty of people out there that can make you feel good. No reason to get hung up on a single person out of millions.

     

    This can also be a big mistake and an unhealthy coping mechanism. Speaking from experience it just ruined the possibility to get back together. Don't do this until you feel okay on your own already, you should not use it to make you feel better or you will be codependent and needy. You need to be ok on your own. Don't do it until you know things are completely finished with the last person.

  10. Posted

    6 hours ago, bazera said:

    @Leo Gura What do you think about doing shamanic breathing every week for like 45-60 minutes? Do you still think that it's useful? And in what way is it useful?

    I've done it like 6-7 times, but I'm thinking about how it will affect me if I do this for a whole year.

    I did it for around a year and it was great, but i eventually lost motivation relative to other techniques because its so physically hard 

  11. Posted

    I've been thinking about something and am wondering what you think.

     

    Here is what I'm thinking might be the case, whatever it is that your life purpose is, or whatever it is you want to bring to others specifically, you need to achieve for yourself first or at least you need to be working on it and have good progress and feel the benefits of this.

    My life purpose is to grow and cook healthy food in a way thats good for people and the planet.

    I find myself much more motivated to work on my health and enjoyment of the environment currently, the idea of having my own land in nature and living a healthy lifestyle growing my own food is currently much more motivating than the idea of selling food, which I still really want to do.

    So, do you think it is important for me to work on achieving healthy and living in nature for myself, then I will be more fulfilled and be better equipped to bring it to others? Obviously there are a lot of financial practical obstacles, but I am wondering about the general principle.

     

    THanks!

     

  13. Posted

    @Artsu My life purpose isn't showing much promise for financially sustaining me once I get out of college. Also though I've had issues with being depressed for a long time I can't get to the root of it. Although when I've had enlightenment experiences from psychedelics or retreats I've felt total relief from it. 

  14. Posted

    @Average Investor Its been years since I've had those habits and I thought it was ego-backlash, I needed to take it slow. But I'm posting because I'm starting to get tired of that and doubt it.

    I had a bit of a moment doings lots of breathwork where I realized if my spiritual life was more in order I would mentally handle this breakup so much better. So I really wish I could do all those things right now it would help me not be so consumed by the grief.

    @Eyowey Yea the smoothies and fruit are keeping me alive. Recently I've been able to eat enough like half the days though, so not too bad.

  15. Posted

    Had a similar situation where she always wanted to put things under the rug and never come back to them. 

    "I forced myself to stay with her trying to solve the problem and feel connected to each other again" this too

     

    You will build up resentment and ruin things over time if you don't do what you need and you end up giving and sacrificing more in unreciprocated efforts.

  17. Posted

    A few years ago I had been listening to actualized.org for a while and it had changed my life. I was doing around 10 different positive habits daily such as meditating for 2.5 hours. I took the life purpose course and started a permaculture farm and farmed for two seasons. I went on a couple meditation retreats, which I can't at all imagine doing now. 

    Now I can't even get myself to meditate for 5 minutes a day repeatedly. I'm depressed. Just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years which is absolutely terrible. I barely have enough energy just to keep up with my school work and haven't been taking life purpose action. I'm a junior in college studying environmental studies. 

    I don't know how this happened and why I slowly just started exercising less willpower for personal development. I know to be happy I need to get back to how I used to be. How do I do this? 

  18. Posted

    6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Covid produces a lot of side-effects. Focusing on myocarditis alone is not the right measure because it's not holistic. What you really need to do is tally up all the side-effects people tend to get from Covid vs the vaccine. And if you do that you'll see that the side-effects of Covid are much worse and more numerous -- by orders of magnitude.

    Even for young healthy people? and  if after having heart issues from the vaccine, it's still less risky than being unvaccinated to get the booster? I had heart issues from the johnson and johnson and just got the pfizer booster because of mandates. 

    6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Not sure but you should have already been vaccinated against earlier variants so don't use omicron as an excuse.

    But what if you already were and now need to get the booster?

  21. Posted

    Anyone know if after having heart issues from the vaccine, it's still less risky than being unvaccinated? I had heart issues from the johnson and johnson and just got the pfizer booster because of mandates. So far no issues but it's been only a few hours. 

     

     Dr Robert Malone: 1/2,700 people get myocarditis from vaccine (Joe rogan)

    CDC: 1/50,000 people get myocarditis from vaccine

    CDC: 1/684 people get myocarditis from covid (https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/wr/mm7035e5.htm. ) (this is only with hospitalized people, so likely it is much less common)

    It's not very clear.

     

    Dr. Malone made an interesting case about the numbers of vaccine injuries being scewed,

  24. Posted · Edited by Cocolove

    3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    I grew up in Aliso.

    That's crazy how serendipitous. Let me know if you come for a visit! I'll be in college here for 3 more years. Currently working on starting a university psychedelic club. SUA is a cool college in a class today we talked about science and religion and compared how they were structurally similar. Both beg the question/circular reasoning, similar structure of their creation stories. Seems like some good quality green maybe yellowish.

    Edit: @Leo Gura did you go to aliso niguel high school(right by me)? did you know about Soka university of america?