Buck Edwards

Suffered and experienced Insanity for 20 days in 2022. Share your Insanity experience

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I went through Insanity for 20 days in 2022. 

What did it feel like? 

  • Wasn't able to sleep 
  • Wasn't able to focus 
  • Zero self awareness 
  • Not able to distinguish between right or wrong 
  • Not acting socially appropriate 
  • Wasn't able to tell where the bathroom was 
  • Feeling unbalanced 
  • Lot of aggression 
  • No ability to think straight or logical 

 

I had to drink and experiment with substances to begin to feel normal again. 

 

 

Care to share your Insanity experiences? 

Also it felt like I was having a spiritual awakening. How do you differentiate an Insanity phase from a real spiritual awakening? Are they different and in what way? 

 

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1 minute ago, Buck Edwards said:

How do you differentiate an Insanity phase from a real spiritual awakening? Are they different and in what way? 

Lets use the old definition of Siegmund Freud for psychological sanity (vs. insanity): You can work and love.

That can be done perfectly well with a spiritual awakening, even better than before. With Insanity, normally not so much...

 

What caused/triggered that Insanity for you?

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I have fear of death that was leading me to insanity. I would feel demon looking at me from inside the vents. I feel a demon on my shoulder putting the feeling of doom into my mind. I have constant fear in my body and it was like being scared of snakes and someone coming into your room and throwing snakes on you for no reason. Why is this happening I ask myself everyday! Why is it like I'm being tortured for no reason! I cannot ask for help as no one can help you overcome the fear of death. You either get over it or kill yourself. Luckily God save me.

Edited by Hojo

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3 minutes ago, Hojo said:

I have fear of death that was leading me to insanity. I would feel demon looking at me from inside the vents. I feel a demon on my shoulder putting the feeling of doom into my mind. I have constant fear in my body and it was like being scared of snakes and someone coming into your room and throwing snakes on you for no reason. Why is this happening I ask myself everyday! Why is it like I'm being tortured for no reason! I cannot ask for help as no one can help you overcome the fear of death.

Scary! 

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Is always because of Love

On 29/2/2024 at 9:45 PM, Buck Edwards said:

A breakup with a soulmate. My emotions were in a tight knot and I began to spiral. 

I couldn't handle rejection and went nuts. 

 

Damn, is always because of Love uh?

I almost murder a woman 10 years ago because also almost went insane. If It wasn't by luck i would be in jail now probably and people dead. 

A hurt ego is so DAMN dangerous.

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5 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Is always because of Love

Damn, is always because of Love uh?

I almost murder a woman 10 years ago because also almost went insane. If It wasn't by luck i would be in jail now probably and people dead. 

A hurt ego is so DAMN dangerous.

Sorry to hear. Turn to the divine. Healing shall come at some point. I found healing in Shiva, Rama and Krishna. Now I call Shiva my soulmate. 

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12 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

A hurt ego is so DAMN dangerous.

Could also be intrusive thoughts that you don’t have to entertain or give your attention to. I have thought many disgusting things that I would never really act upon. Having mastery over your mind is key here. NO matter what kind of thoughts come in, you are prepared to handle them gracefully and intuitively. 


“I once tried to explain existential dread to my toaster, but it just popped up and said, "Same."“ -Gemini AI

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3 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Could also be intrusive thoughts that you don’t have to entertain or give your attention to. I have thought many disgusting things that I would never really act upon. Having mastery over your mind is key here. NO matter what kind of thoughts come in, you are prepared to handle them gracefully and intuitively. 

When you are going through Insanity, grace is the last thing on mind. 

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Just now, Buck Edwards said:

When you are going through Insanity, grace is the last thing on mind. 

I am thankful for all of the times in my life that I could certainly deem as hellish or insane. Why? Because I could not be where I am today had it not been for all those experiences! Now my life purpose is greater and more holistic, and I also feel less of a victim. Those who were once my enemies I see them from a much more understanding and pure position.  

Developing this clarity is a possibility, but it won’t come overnight. You’ve got this :) 


“I once tried to explain existential dread to my toaster, but it just popped up and said, "Same."“ -Gemini AI

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5 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

I am thankful for all of the times in my life that I could certainly deem as hellish or insane. Why? Because I could not be where I am today had it not been for all those experiences! Now my life purpose is greater and more holistic, and I also feel less of a victim. Those who were once my enemies I see them from a much more understanding and pure position.  

Developing this clarity is a possibility, but it won’t come overnight. You’ve got this :) 

Thank you. 

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Posted (edited)

23 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Sorry to hear. Turn to the divine. Healing shall come at some point. I found healing in Shiva, Rama and Krishna. Now I call Shiva my soulmate. 

Yes, i did. In fact after the stroke of luck i had that avoided that insane idea to happened, i retreated myself and before wanting to kill myself i Thought why not to Try Lsd before doing anything stupid. In that phase of total surrender i did my first psychedelic and completely Life changed. I 100% can say those acid trips i did literally saved my Life from killing myself of ending in an assylum. Afterwards i have never come back to those darkness

Nowdays even in the Worst moments they are 1000 better than the utter insanity of Thoughts i experienced with that woman. 

Thankful for a second chance in Life.

15 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Could also be intrusive thoughts that you don’t have to entertain or give your attention to. I have thought many disgusting things that I would never really act upon. Having mastery over your mind is key here. NO matter what kind of thoughts come in, you are prepared to handle them gracefully and intuitively. 

Well, when you have Thoughts that hurt and torture Your in uncomprensible ways every minute for 1-2 years non stop (unless when you sleep, or rare moments during the day) even the strongest man Will do anything to make them end. Anything.

Fortunately like i said i had a stroke of luck that derailed the plan, then psychedelics appear and that phase thankfully was long gone and nowdays seems like from a past Life, not this Life lol 

Edited by Javfly33

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On 2/29/2024 at 11:38 PM, Buck Edwards said:

I went through Insanity for 20 days in 2022. 

What did it feel like? 

  • Wasn't able to sleep 
  • Wasn't able to focus 
  • Zero self awareness 
  • Not able to distinguish between right or wrong 
  • Not acting socially appropriate 
  • Wasn't able to tell where the bathroom was 
  • Feeling unbalanced 
  • Lot of aggression 
  • No ability to think straight or logical 

 

I had to drink and experiment with substances to begin to feel normal again. 

 

 

Care to share your Insanity experiences? 

Also it felt like I was having a spiritual awakening. How do you differentiate an Insanity phase from a real spiritual awakening? Are they different and in what way? 

 

I lost my dad, after that I had an open heart surgery (Congestional heart failure). I died 2 times in surgery. My family members were 5.000 miles away from me. After my recovery, I dedicated myself to truth and live in darkness and silence for 3 months. Every week I did 10 gr dried shrooms with lemon take. Specially living in darkness and silence something that everyone should be do it. 


"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."

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2 minutes ago, James123 said:

I lost my dad, after that I had an open heart surgery (Congestional heart failure). I died 2 times in surgery. My family members were 5.000 miles away from me. After my recovery, I dedicated myself to truth and live in darkness and silence for 3 months. Every week I did 10 gr dried shrooms with lemon take. Specially living in darkness and silence something that everyone should be do it. 

Reminds me of my relationship with my dad. I felt like I lost him for 20 years of my life, but after a series of miracles he came back into my life and now we are much healthier, despite not physically being together all the time.  

Thank you for sharing.


“I once tried to explain existential dread to my toaster, but it just popped up and said, "Same."“ -Gemini AI

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I'm hesitating to share or not ...

Would you like to hear something so traumatic you become permanently insane and spend the rest of your life in a psychiatric ward?


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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22 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Reminds me of my relationship with my dad. I felt like I lost him for 20 years of my life, but after a series of miracles he came back into my life and now we are much healthier, despite not physically being together all the time.  

Thank you for sharing.

Anytime brother. I am very happy for you. I hope everything will get more better for you and your family with full of love and light. 

Much love to you and your family!


"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."

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17 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I'm hesitating to share or not ...

Would you like to hear something so traumatic you become permanently insane and spend the rest of your life in a psychiatric ward?

Think of a psychiatric ward like an intensive care unit for those with mental health conditions. It’s not meant to keep you in there permanently, but get you back to being grounded and not spiral out of control. They are important in our society, but the system certainly be reformulated to incorporate psychedelics, for example.


“I once tried to explain existential dread to my toaster, but it just popped up and said, "Same."“ -Gemini AI

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@Yimpa @Buck Edwards sorry guys I won't share .

For my own well being and to not trigger utter psychosis and peeling the floor underneath your feet and leave you guys free falling forever in an endless void .


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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