for fucks sake it's been 4 years and i'm still randomly having reactivations at night

[Theplay]

@Breakingthewall Amazing I was saying "Its the best trip I've ever done" so many times during that one.

It acted strongly on my emotions as well at the beginning I cried from a track it was as if I felt the acid. Usually it only works on my mind.

But my flashbacks are waaay stronger. Really I cant imagine tripping harder then my flashbacks and if there is such possibility honestly I really don't want to experience it. If a regular person would have got one of my flashbacks he would have sat in an insane asylum for the rest of his life.

Its like going mad X1000.

And it can happen any time. 

I hear voices repeating: "There is only one thing in reality, you are god, there is only you, there is nothing to worry about forever"

And I feel I'm on the brink of dying.

You would think that I just got it and was like "Ok now I'm god the only being in the universe".

But no. When I come down of it everything is back to be exactly how it was before.

That's why in my opinion psychedelics can give you only a preview of enlightenment and not make it your natural state when you are sober.

 

[Thought Art]

I don’t know what’s up, but wish you well

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, Theplay said:

There is only one thing in reality, you are god, there is only you, there is nothing to worry about forever"

Yeah but did you really open yourself? I mean, everything that is said here about: I realized that I am God and I am creating reality, is interesting, but it is still a mental structure. The total opening is: total infinity without limit. There is no you that realizes and says: wow I am infinite and I am the creator, but rather you spill into the abyss and dissolve in the impersonal ocean of existence, beyond any realization. This is perfect, the more it happens, the better.  

Actually, knowing that this reality is an illusion is just structure. is to compare it with something that is not an illusion. In fact, knowing is something that is structure, it is within the totality. At an absolute level it is completely meaningless, it is something limited. the unlimited cannot be understood since understanding is something that occurs within it. awakening is becoming limitless, and the need to know or understand is greed that grabs and creates limits. This is what creates psychosis and problems. the total break does not create problems, it is perfect

[Theplay]

@Breakingthewall Some of the times I was more open than the others.

What I cant deny also is the immense beauty of this experience.

I completely agree with everything you have said.

31 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

the need to know or understand is greed that grabs and creates limits. 

Exactly. I feel the same way. I just want to read story books now like lord of the rings and lost all interest in spiritual teachings and gurus.

I'm more focused on being rather than knowing.

I really wanted to teach , but now all gurus seam silly to me.

Maybe its just me but it feels like there is nothing to teach or talk about.

Its not like in other areas where you become an expert and now you have a body of knowledge to teach.

I have no clue how people write books about it.

[BlessedLion]

These kinds of posts make me so glad to be following the traditional, time tested, paths of yoga, meditation, study and contemplation. 
 

5 MEO sounds like a real mother fucker to be honest

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, Theplay said:

have no clue how people write books about it.

Yes I think the same, I can't stand reading a spirituality book for even 5 minutes. 

[Cosmic-Resplendence]

6 hours ago, Theplay said:

@Breakingthewall Amazing I was saying "Its the best trip I've ever done" so many times during that one.

It acted strongly on my emotions as well at the beginning I cried from a track it was as if I felt the acid. Usually it only works on my mind.

But my flashbacks are waaay stronger. Really I cant imagine tripping harder then my flashbacks and if there is such possibility honestly I really don't want to experience it. If a regular person would have got one of my flashbacks he would have sat in an insane asylum for the rest of his life.

Its like going mad X1000.

And it can happen any time. 

I hear voices repeating: "There is only one thing in reality, you are god, there is only you, there is nothing to worry about forever"

And I feel I'm on the brink of dying.

You would think that I just got it and was like "Ok now I'm god the only being in the universe".

But no. When I come down of it everything is back to be exactly how it was before.

That's why in my opinion psychedelics can give you only a preview of enlightenment and not make it your natural state when you are sober.

 

I’m not going to suggest the original poster on what to do. Honestly I don't know. I do think that people are correct that his experience caused some type of trauma, in a sense its like he acquired a kind of PTSD. People telling him to do another massive dose seems like a bad idea in my eyes, but hey what do I know? 
 

In regard to this quote from above, reminds me of the LSD thumbprint, its an interesting story. If you’ve never heard of this, the basic story is explained below… Some insight might be in here in dealing with life after a massive Psychedelic experience. 

The LSD Thumbprint.

Edited January 30 by Cosmic-Resplendence

[Breakingthewall]

24 minutes ago, Cosmic-Resplendence said:

regard to this quote from above, reminds me of the LSD thumbprint, its an interesting story. If you’ve never heard of this, the basic story is explained below… Some insight might be in here in dealing with life after a massive Psychedelic experience. 

The LSD Thumbprint.

3 hours ago, Theplay said:

 

Interesting. Who dares? Not me for now, but seems fascinating 

[AerisVahnEphelia]

1 hour ago, Cosmic-Resplendence said:

I’m not going to suggest the original poster on what to do. Honestly I don't know. I do think that people are correct that his experience caused some type of trauma, in a sense its like he acquired a kind of PTSD. People telling him to do another massive dose seems like a bad idea in my eyes, but hey what do I know? 
 

In regard to this quote from above, reminds me of the LSD thumbprint, its an interesting story. If you’ve never heard of this, the basic story is explained below… Some insight might be in here in dealing with life after a massive Psychedelic experience. 

The LSD Thumbprint.

there is no need for a "thumbprint", but the energy that wrote this, didn't notice.

there is no scale in the matter of what you'll get there, if there is even a there

there is no scale to measure what you'll experience, as you cannot measure experience

[BlessedLion]

7 hours ago, Theplay said:

@Breakingthewall Some of the times I was more open than the others.

What I cant deny also is the immense beauty of this experience.

I completely agree with everything you have said.

Exactly. I feel the same way. I just want to read story books now like lord of the rings and lost all interest in spiritual teachings and gurus.

I'm more focused on being rather than knowing.

I really wanted to teach , but now all gurus seam silly to me.

Maybe its just me but it feels like there is nothing to teach or talk about.

Its not like in other areas where you become an expert and now you have a body of knowledge to teach.

I have no clue how people write books about it.

I enjoy reading books on development and spirituality just because I find it fascinating for its own sake (maybe how you see LOTR) 

All these traditions and humans sharing wisdom and lineage, for me this is as juicy as it gets. I also like the process of things slowly evolving and coming together, it’s like having slow sex, rather than blasting myself with a chemical, the chemical blast is slowly coming to me and I can savor every drop of the experience. While you guys, no offense, seem spiritually burn out or bitter about something after doing these drugs, Leo included 

[Breakingthewall]

16 minutes ago, BlessedLion said:

these traditions and humans sharing wisdom and lineage, for me this is as juicy as it gets. I also like the process of things slowly evolving and coming together, it’s like having slow sex, rather than blasting myself with a chemical, the chemical blast is slowly coming to me and I can savor every drop of the experience. While you guys, no offense, seem spiritually burn out or bitter about something after doing these drugs, Leo included 

A lot of people, including me, without chemistry have an energy configuration that is too dense. Chemistry is essential in those cases if you want to gradually and definitively change that configuration. It is not about obtaining peaks in which things are understood, that is Leo's mistake, it is about softening your energetic structure, making it increasingly lighter, so that opening is possible in a sustained way

[khalifa]

i wonder how all these psychs affect offsprings in the future, i'm going to guess plenty of mental illnesses @Breakingthewall @Theplay @AerisVahnEphelia

[OldManCorcoran]

On 27/01/2024 at 11:14 AM, khalifa said:

when does this shit stop? it's getting annoying

 

i mean sure i'm used to it but it's like a roller coaster, just when i think it's never coming again, nope just another day of a random night of hello, here's a weak baby dose of 5meo

 

this crap seriously has given me some serious PTSD/GAD chronic anxiety, never felt the same since 2019

 

the current symptoms i'm facing is 24/7 uneasyness anxiety, vibrations on my body, overwhelmed throat and tightness in chest.

my memory has taken a big hit too, sometimes i can't even tell if i've showered for the day or not, i used to have amazing memory before it, it has made me less assertive since i don't like to wrong anyone by being arrogant, and i start doubting my memory, my confidence has taken a big blow, i feel weaker than what i used to be mentally, noticed weak impulse control too, i feel like i'm a different nerfed like person that's unstable with his mind, i no longer feel stable with my well being and thoughts, it feels like i have some sort of ocd at times

I am experiencing the same thing, but I am only on year 3 since last psychedelic use. I thought I was entering those states by thinking really hard or somehow altering my perspective, but I think now that I was simply being re-dosed with the psychedelic drug, and there is no way to experience it via thinking OR by not thinking or whatever else.

For the first year I would randomly cry at things, like I would cry at commercials about broccoli, just nonsense. That stopped now. I think in time "reactivations" will also stop. They are already very spaced out and uncommon.

My memory is destroyed too. I sound like an idiot when I talk because I can't get spoken words out as easily, and can barely verbalize simple concepts.

Edited February 1 by OldManCorcoran

[Cosmic-Resplendence]

27 minutes ago, OldManCorcoran said:

27 minutes ago, OldManCorcoran said:

For the first year I would randomly cry at things, like I would cry at commercials about broccoli, just nonsense.

 

I was at a point similar to this, from similar reasons as well… Television, random things, but music in particular would cause this spontaneously in me. It wasn’t a sadness, more like awe and amazement of the sheer beauty within the progression of notes… It eventually stopped also after about a year. 

Edited February 1 by Cosmic-Resplendence

[inFlow]

@khalifa Seems like you have blocks in your system. Have you ever done any yoga practices?

[khalifa]

@OldManCorcoran

 

what about other symptoms besides the broc?

 

i remember being scared by just playing my playstation or watching series where nothing to be afraid of, it would rise my anxiety

 

 

@inFlow  besides meditation, not much yoga practise that was longterm something like a 2 week thing at random intervals and id stop, no results from it

Edited February 1 by khalifa

[OldManCorcoran]

17 minutes ago, khalifa said:

@OldManCorcoran

 

what about other symptoms besides the broc?

 

i remember being scared by just playing my playstation or watching series where nothing to be afraid of, it would rise my anxiety

Extreme PTSD-like flashbacks. I would be trying to go to sleep then be hit by a hardcore flashback, and come back to and look around my bed for the pipe and drugs etc convinced that I had just done drugs, when actually I was sober.

Thoughts about existence and death and other weird topics are in my mind 100x more often than sex, it's almost like OCD intrusive thoughts.

[OBEler]

@khalifa do you have informed yourself about Kundalini awakening and do you think this could be the case

Just now, OldManCorcoran said:

Extreme PTSD-like flashbacks. I would be trying to go to sleep then be hit by a hardcore flashback, and come back to and look around my bed for the pipe and drugs etc convinced that I had just done drugs, when actually I was sober.

Thoughts about existence and death and other weird topics are in my mind 100x more often than sex, it's almost like OCD intrusive thoughts.

[khalifa]

@OldManCorcoran

 

the ocd is so annoying, it won't shut up, for me it's calmed down more after 2 years, but it's less now but it's still there, my brain pattern thinking is just not the same, it's weird it feels like i have another mind but memories of the past me if i were to describe it

it's more like a dumb new me..

 

i threw mine away so didnt have that thought, however i would worry and think about the uneasiness all day and like somethings wrong all the time, it was and is still living hell, now it's abit better since less symptoms but i still feel mega uneasy ALWAYS

Edited February 1 by khalifa

[Cosmic-Resplendence]

1 hour ago, khalifa said:

i remember being scared by just playing my playstation

I believe Psychs can put a person into hyper focus of being in the now, and it can shut down your thinking parts, you become more receptive to things outside of thinking, analyzing part of your mind , so you are more like the way an animal views the world. They do many things to a person, this is only one aspect though.

I can remember once, hearing a siren a few miles away, ambulance or something… My immediate reaction was fear of the sound of it. What I think now was happening was that symbolically the siren means danger, watch out… and in that moment, it had real effect upon me.  That’s what the siren meant to me and it caused real fear, panic in that moment. For example just the color red could have a real reaction in a person who is being totally present, reaction being all the symbolic nature that represents (RED)… Danger, emergency, excitement… all the things that come to mind associated with that color. Animals are like this at all times, fears that might be irrational to us, but not to them… Not to someone affected by strong Entheogens / Psychedelics. Sometimes this stuff isn’t immediately shut back down after use, and stays for a while. I might be wrong, but that’s my take on it. Probably the best thing to get back to where you were is time, as the mind slowly resets back to your old self. 
 

There’s probably other things, PTSD type therapy, etc. 

Edited February 1 by Cosmic-Resplendence