bebotalk

Biases and bigotries

98 posts in this topic

4 minutes ago, An young being said:

That bias is the reason why. If you ignore them, it's not an issue. But if you give them less respect, you are forgetting that they are humans too.

negativity is part of life. I've found it's a pattern that suits me and is often quite accurate. pretty women are humans. i don't believe any group of humans has an a priori right to more respect. pretty women often think this. so others, inclusive of me, are not obligated to grant it to them. 

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3 hours ago, bebotalk said:

I don't love them at all. why must I? I respect your view but the idea that people who dislike others merely reflect internal states imho is false. It suggests that there is a perfect state of being or that all actions in life are noble. I think some things or people can be bad. This can either be by design or experience. Even "good people" can have dark traits. "bad people" can have good traits. Putin is a bad person for invading Ukraine, but he clearly has ambition, determination, and other positive traits. Biden might be "good" but I doubt he's an angel. Parents are not responsible for their children's conduct, especially as adults, but sometimes children who are wayward act that way due to parental guidance. Who is to say this isn't true with Hunter Biden?

I don't say my views to be edgy. I just think people should be honest in the good or bad traits they have. Humans are a complex mix on a spectrum of conduct and thought. 

 

You say "humans are a complex mix on a spectrum of conduct and thought". Maybe if you apply this understanding to whom you are criticizing, in this case, attractive women, you may view them in a different light and apply this same belief to the way you interpret their behavior while making judgements and crticizing them. 

When you realize that our Consciousness is programmed to only see things at a certain level and that we are only seeing and behaving in a way that is conducive to that, and the way we perceive things in our experience tells a lot more about us than the thing we are perceiving. This is why we can change our minds about something that we saw in a different way before because we now look at that same thing through a different lens than we previously did, while the thing we're looking at remains the same. 

We label people good and bad, not realizing that now we are creating that good VS bad distinction and we are looking at ourselves and judging our own behaviors as good and bad and then we project our meanings of good and bad unto others. It's a cycle, you see. This is what I mean when I say you see a part of yourself in them that you have rejected within yourself and now you're calling them bad in order for you to be at ease with your perceived bad traits. 

You point out other people who you think are bad as in Putin saying he is a bad person for this and that. That is your opinion as good and bad are relative depending on whose looking and perceiving. Is it OK to punish someone for killing while the punishment for that killing is death. We can go on and on about these debates. They are all coming from a lack of Awareness. 

I'm no better sometimes in the way I think or feel about certain things and I also have biases and judgements about certain things, but the difference with how I see this is I'm aware of that. I'm aware that they stem from.personal agenda and my own survival mechanism and how I've built my own walls against myself. I try to work on how I view things and perceive them and I try not to make absolute claims on anything and publicly voice those strong beliefs and opinions to others because if I do so then I'll just be reinforcing something I know to not be true and that will only hurt me in the long run. That's all.


One Love....

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There cannot be Man without Woman.
There cannot be Woman without Man.

I am embracing women more and more. My upbringing has boxed women into fixed roles. I no longer wish to see women as mere objects to be toyed with.


Why did the pizza maker go broke? Because they couldn't make enough dough!

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I am also realizing that I am both a man and a woman. Science has not caught up to this phenomenon, but it is getting there.


Why did the pizza maker go broke? Because they couldn't make enough dough!

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@bebotalk

On 2023-11-24 at 1:20 PM, bebotalk said:

I admit I'm a human and have negative thoughts. 

So I don't really like conventionally hot women. I think they're not good people. I think generally they're bad people. They get spoilt from societal treatment and they're not very pleasant to be around. They believe the world has to look up to them. They don't get they're human like all others are, and nothing that special in the grand scheme of things.

In my apartment block, there are a couple of pretty women who live on my same floor, and apart from saying a few brief hellos I ignore them. I don't speak much with the pretty ladies at my workplace, especially those at the same level as me. I even told one of my cousin's friends whilst drunk at a party that she was a bitch since she was hot. There was a very pretty lady who was serving in Starbucks, and she had a very quiet voice and due to the loud music, I couldn't hear her. So I shouted at her to speak up. I didn't care if I embarrassed her or not, since she was attractive. She was in the wrong anyhow, since she should have used some common sense and empathy and had some accountability. People can't hear you in a loud environment, where people are buying products from you, if you don't speak up. 

I can't look at porn with super hot ladies. I usually look at milf or granny porn instead. I can't watch Miss World. 

The way I see it, people can be racist and sexist and get by, so then I can in kind. 

This is more of a statement than anything else. I just won't "accept" what pretty women think we want them to be. I wasn't raised that way. I was raised to be respectful and that we're all on an even keel in life. 

 

 

   It depends on the other developmental factors, and it's mainly your bias and preferences. As long as you have the intent to reconcile and forgive yourself, and are willing to integrate further, it's fine.

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3 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You say "humans are a complex mix on a spectrum of conduct and thought". Maybe if you apply this understanding to whom you are criticizing, in this case, attractive women, you may view them in a different light and apply this same belief to the way you interpret their behavior while making judgements and crticizing them. 

When you realize that our Consciousness is programmed to only see things at a certain level and that we are only seeing and behaving in a way that is conducive to that, and the way we perceive things in our experience tells a lot more about us than the thing we are perceiving. This is why we can change our minds about something that we saw in a different way before because we now look at that same thing through a different lens than we previously did, while the thing we're looking at remains the same. 

We label people good and bad, not realizing that now we are creating that good VS bad distinction and we are looking at ourselves and judging our own behaviors as good and bad and then we project our meanings of good and bad unto others. It's a cycle, you see. This is what I mean when I say you see a part of yourself in them that you have rejected within yourself and now you're calling them bad in order for you to be at ease with your perceived bad traits. 

You point out other people who you think are bad as in Putin saying he is a bad person for this and that. That is your opinion as good and bad are relative depending on whose looking and perceiving. Is it OK to punish someone for killing while the punishment for that killing is death. We can go on and on about these debates. They are all coming from a lack of Awareness. 

I'm no better sometimes in the way I think or feel about certain things and I also have biases and judgements about certain things, but the difference with how I see this is I'm aware of that. I'm aware that they stem from.personal agenda and my own survival mechanism and how I've built my own walls against myself. I try to work on how I view things and perceive them and I try not to make absolute claims on anything and publicly voice those strong beliefs and opinions to others because if I do so then I'll just be reinforcing something I know to not be true and that will only hurt me in the long run. That's all.

Yes, humans are complex. But this doesn't mean that categorising between good or bad is wrong, or harmful or not is bad. All living beings go towards what is comfortable and avoid what is hard or painful. Not all labels of good or bad are arbitrary. I accept that what I say might not be to others' tastes. I don't care really. We all have our own thoughts. This is my self-improvement. To acknowledge that everybody has a partly dark side. Nobody is an absolute angel or a categorical devil. Humans cannot survive without categorisation. Putin isn't bad in my opinion alone. Humans have always differentiated between those who are destructive. Even in cultures that are distinct from our own, this is true. Ancient Rome, the Ming Dynasty, and Taliban Afghanistan all do. If labelling others as bad for being destructive and not wanting to be around such people makes me "bad", so be it. I don't profess to be perfect, and the opinions of others in themselves hold no absolute bearing on me.

I affirm that conventionally attractive women are often spoilt and mean, and thus I don't believe in associating with them. As I see it, we're all on a level playing field and I have no obligation to view them as better. they also cannot and shouldn't expect people to view them differently or better. I merely respond to their innate negativity 

 

 

 

 

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@bebotalk

1 hour ago, bebotalk said:

Yes, humans are complex. But this doesn't mean that categorising between good or bad is wrong, or harmful or not is bad. All living beings go towards what is comfortable and avoid what is hard or painful. Not all labels of good or bad are arbitrary. I accept that what I say might not be to others' tastes. I don't care really. We all have our own thoughts. This is my self-improvement. To acknowledge that everybody has a partly dark side. Nobody is an absolute angel or a categorical devil. Humans cannot survive without categorisation. Putin isn't bad in my opinion alone. Humans have always differentiated between those who are destructive. Even in cultures that are distinct from our own, this is true. Ancient Rome, the Ming Dynasty, and Taliban Afghanistan all do. If labelling others as bad for being destructive and not wanting to be around such people makes me "bad", so be it. I don't profess to be perfect, and the opinions of others in themselves hold no absolute bearing on me.

I affirm that conventionally attractive women are often spoilt and mean, and thus I don't believe in associating with them. As I see it, we're all on a level playing field and I have no obligation to view them as better. they also cannot and shouldn't expect people to view them differently or better. I merely respond to their innate negativity 

 

 

 

 

   "There is no such thing as good or bad, but thinking makes it so.". By William Shakespeare.

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2 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

@bebotalk

   "There is no such thing as good or bad, but thinking makes it so.". By William Shakespeare.

Shakespeare also was an anti-Semite, and one of his plays was clearly leaning on this, i.e. The Merchant of Venice. He had his opinions, and as a man his opinions were just that, opinions. I have my views, and you have yours. That's that.  I still say I despise pretty women, as they are not good people, so I move away from them. Moreover, you seem to be condoning given acts and people. I cannot. It' just conscience. if that futher makes me "bad" in your eyes, so be it. I'm entitled to my views. 

Edited by bebotalk

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8 hours ago, Yimpa said:

There cannot be Man without Woman.
There cannot be Woman without Man.

I am embracing women more and more. My upbringing has boxed women into fixed roles. I no longer wish to see women as mere objects to be toyed with.

I don't see the connection with my points. Passive-aggression is based.

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To be treated as if you're inferior and unworthy to talk to can be painful. One thing is it makes you resentful. Another thing is you want to avoid being hurt again so you created this mindset to create distance and protect yourself. 

But let it sink in. "holding grudges are just unwillingness to experience pain in its fullest" instead of becoming more resentful become more vulnerable and feel the pain that is behind the bitterness fully. And it will heal your mind. 

Edited by Salvijus

Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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2 hours ago, Salvijus said:

To be treated as if you're inferior and unworthy to talk to can be painful. One thing is it makes you resentful. Another thing is you want to avoid being hurt again so you created this mindset to create distance and protect yourself. 

But let it sink in. "holding grudges are just unwillingness to experience pain in its fullest" instead of becoming more resentful become more vulnerable and feel the pain that is behind the bitterness fully. And it will heal your mind. 

I don't see anything wrong with grudges. a person can progress despite them. I never said I was unworthy to talk. Using this "probing" tones is hardly benevolent" is it? I know you'll disagree with my point, and that's fine. But it's mine to make. 

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12 minutes ago, bebotalk said:

I don't see anything wrong with grudges

Well it's about time to recognize that deep down there is a desire to cope with the pain and the resentfulness is just an ineffective way of achieving nothing. It's unhealthy for you. And you lash it out on others. And it becomes is unhealthy for everyone. 

The solution is in a 180° opposite way. That is the only way to make progress. 

Edited by Salvijus

Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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Just now, Salvijus said:

Except that it doesn't work. Deep down there is a desire to cope with the pain and the resentfulness is just an ineffective way of achieving nothing. It's unhealthy for you. And you lash it out on others. And it becomes is unhealthy for everyone. 

The solution is in a 180° opposite way. That is the only way to make progress. 

I disagree. Again, I don't care if you agree or not. I also don't like people speaking through me. nobody needs to, and any attempt of them to say they're so "nice" is wasted on me. Go and beat your spiritual teachers to beat me. if they beat everybody who disagrees with them or doesn't care about their message, then maybe they should get better cognition, or get that's not how healthy people behave. Spirituality sucks, imho. if that makes me "bad", so be it. Bad in your eyes, maybe. but so what? your opinion is YOUR opinion. At least i was raised it's wrong to beat people merely for a difference in viewpoints. and my parents are hardcore Christians and thus spiritual. I disagree with the core concept that a person can never progress materially whilst holding grudges. It's simplistic and from shallow perceptions of the world. 

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@bebotalk so you created an elaborate thought system to justify all your resentfulness and on top of it now you think you don't need to change because you can progress as it is :D

Funny stuff. I would say there is a better way. Consider the possiblity that there is a better way to find peace and release from internal conflict. Because the current way you're so attached to has never solved anything. 

Edited by Salvijus

Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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This is how I see life, at least in engagement with other people.

None of us have primacy. Such primacy is earned and explained. A teacher has primacy over school pupils since teachers are there to teach and control students. Bosses have primacy over employees as they are there to direct work. Parents have primacy over children since they bore the kids, and have the responsibility to lead them and guide them accordingly. 

Pretty women reckon they have primacy in social discourse, which is unearned. they are not special innately. No person or group is. there are many who don't immediately swoon over a hottie, even though such acts are understandable and natural somewhat. There are many acts that may seem intuitive that people of varying temperaments may not do. Not all people are quick to anger, even though anger is natural in given scenarios. 

So since pretty women aren't very good people, then I ward off them. It's human nature to not accept negativity. If one is surrounded by bees, then one defends themselves. If one is in a dark place at night, then one is on guard. If one is in a war zone, one takes cover. Pretty women are kidding themselves if they think others cannot respond to their innate negativities. 

My view on life is essentially egalitarian. I sense this bothers people. But it's often the same people who condemn racism or sexism who then promote elitism. That's on them. I just laugh and leave them to it. I have my views and they have theirs. 

So I stand that conventionally hot women aren't very good people. I won't tolerate their elitism. Nor will I ever accept it. Why must I? Who are they? By this logic, can King Charles III just cuss people in the street when he greets his "subjects" on an official tour? Can the King of the Netherlands do that too? I bet they'd be condemned for this, and rightly so. But it should be fine, right? As monarchs, they lead their countries and are the top dogs. So it fits. Anybody who has assumed privilege has rights over others. 

I get the feeling that you endorse this primacy, Sanjizid, and it bothers you when it's called out. well, what will you do? is it violence again? looool. Maybe you should look into yourself and see why it bothers you. Seems like it's ego. Introspection isn't weak. it's actually a normal trait. i guess people are different. I don't assume life is about being bullish and on the front foot all the time. 

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8 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

@bebotalk so you created an elaborate thought system to justify all your resentfulness and on top of it now you think you don't need to change because you can progress as it is :D

Funny stuff. I would say there is a better way. Consider the possiblity that there is a better way to find peace and release from internal conflict. Because the current way you're so attached to has never solved anything. 

Progress is relative. I do progress. Maybe not in the way a spiritualist might see it. I said i don't care about their beliefs. I disagree with you. and that's fine. I don't have to agree with you, nor do you with me. there are many ways to see life, and your way nor mine is the definitive mode. I note it's never on pretty women to wonder why others may dislike them, or if they are the cause. but no. everybody has to bend around them. loooool. Accountability is apparently lost in modern times. 

Edited by bebotalk

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8 minutes ago, bebotalk said:

there are many ways to see life

There are truthful ways of seeing life and there are ineffective ways to see life. 

Your disagreement is not disagreement at all because you've not genuinely considered and pondered that perhaps there is truth in those words. You just plug your ears and say "that's not how I see, that's not how I see" that's just your ego in huge unwillingness to heal and consider that perhaps it's wrong. Lucky me, I consume egos for brakefast :) Muahahaaha. 

Edited by Salvijus

Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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5 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

There are truthful ways of seeing life and there are ineffective ways to see life. 

Your disagreement is not disagreement at all because you've not genuinely considered and pondered that perhaps there is truth in those words. You just plug your eyes and say "that's not how I see, that's not how I see" that's just your ego in huge unwillingness to heal. Lucky me, I consume egos for brakefast :)

By your logic. Again, you assume your spiritual views are the way. many people have resentments.  I reject spirituality since it's cringe and weird. That's my opinion. is that bad? So? people reject things all the time. you should ask why you care what others think or what their attitudes are.  For you, it's like "he's not spiritual. HE IS BAD!!!!!" OK. well "he" may not care about your judgment. 

It's also fine, I also mock those who think they have "the truth". and never, ever, think "oh that's a different view, that's nice!" i do that often, since i genuinely don't care what others think. even if they have virulent views, i still accept their rights to hold them. you assume your spiritualism is the definitive views. that's dangerous thinking, imho. i admit i have negatibe views towards pretty women, and? you tell me why i must care why pretty womena re special. i think the concept that peopel are special or not offends you. you were taught there are "betters". I wasn't. who is better? You're infusing little subjective things into objective realities. 

being "spiritual" doesn't mean one is "better". lots of these new-age gurus often abuse their pupils. is that good? hardly. but then you openly tolerate abuse as part of a 'higher plane" but then say it's wrong in other cases. looool. you're older than I am but apparently you're not as wise or grounded. i don't get offended at different views.

 

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/9jE8L40kMnEYUrx9WRySU3itoMi8uticcjnL4PoSo15ZwhOkax4pjumK2b1ebLyBEL_052UTMeL70t9QdLcy2KMTuZ7gCkXgE1d_1Q=w1064-v0

I see life like this, all on the same plane and level. You don't. that bothers you. your subjective interpersonal understandings are your own, but people can and will respond to you. which is their right. Maybe try and embarrass me as you claim and show how pretties are "superior" and why we must look up to them? 

spirtual people often aren't good, and this proves it. 

Edited by bebotalk

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Oh, and am I the "loser" in this "discussion"? I don't see how I am. I'm merely stating my points and that I don't agree with you. I'm under no obligation to. State this "obligation"? I told you we hold differing views. 

I get the suspicion you cannot internally handle somebody with differing views. That's maybe on you to internally process, which you won't, out of "ego".

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@bebotalk I'm not trying to be better. I just see you trying to cope with pain with the wrong tool. And huge unwillingness to look at what is behind the resentfulness. 

I promise you. If you spend a little bit of attention into what is behind the resentfulness instead of desperately trying to protect and justify your resentfulness. You will find great discoveries. 

Edited by Salvijus

Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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