I just can't move on

[Hardkill]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, there is def a reason why this lack of results is happening. So now it's just a question of whether you want to troubleshoot the issue seriously enough to find the reason.

I can guess that your top problems are: 1) wrong city, wrong location, 2) not approaching enough, 3) poor understanding of how to socialize, flirt, and vibe, 4) lack of intent to close, 5) you are not isolation training core aspects of your outer game, 6) your inner game is really bad such that you cannot relax and vibe.

All these issues can be addressed, but you have to be serious and deliberate about it.

1) and 2) are definitely two of my top problems, but I don't have enough money of my own to move near or into a large city. I have to first get my DPT degree before I can finally make enough of a decent living to move out of my parent's home.

However, I feel like even if I had the chance to be in the right city, right location to cold approach at least 30-40 girls new girls per week, I am not optimistic about being able to fix problems 3), 5), and 6) even after all of the coaching, knowledge, and advice I've gotten and the amount of trial and error I've done.

[Leo Gura]

7 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

I am not optimistic about being able to fix problems 3), 5), and 6) even after all of the coaching,

That's def doable.

Right now point #1 is your top sticking point. I would focus on addressing that and just trusting that 3, 5, 6 will be easy after you solve #1 and #2.

It's hard to seriously fix anything until you first solve #1 and #2. There is an order of operations here.

Rather than saying why you can't do #1 & #2, you need to be asking: How can I make it my reality?

Edited November 24, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Hardkill]

17 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

That's def doable.

Right now point #1 is your top sticking point. I would focus on addressing that and just trusting that 3, 5, 6 will be easy after you solve #1 and #2.

It's hard to seriously fix anything until you first solve #1 and #2. There is an order of operations here.

Rather than saying why you can't do #1 & #2, you need to be asking: How can I make it my reality?

I hope you're right.

Everyday it feels hard to stay optimistic about it when I keep getting stuck in a plateau.

I don't see how I can solve #1 and #2 anytime soon when the cost of even renting my own place is ridiculously expensive these days.

[Yimpa]

14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Bottom line is that you need to be doing tons of approaching and pushing yourself for results like phone numbers and dates.

From what I’ve heard, the newer generation prefers to give out their social media handles, rather than their phone number.

[Yimpa]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Rather than saying why you can't do #1 & #2, you need to be asking: How can I make it my reality?

What has worked for me is being much more authentic with myself. Picking up neurodiverse peeps is clearly my strength. Masking and pretending to be neurotypical is my curse.

Living near Austin has been great. Lots of weird ass people here.

[zazen]

Though not pragmatic this may help stomach what happened on a psychological level.

In the twisted dance of relationships, women are consistently warned about the potential dangers posed by men throughout their lives. They're advised to navigate cautiously, to be mindful of manipulation, to test and approach with caution. Their defenses, even in moments of naivety, remain steadfast. But who extends a warning to men about the intricacies of women? The answer is nobody. Most men stumble upon this wisdom through the harsh teacher of experience, paying the steep price in the currency of pain.

As these men unearth the less-than-flattering truths, often paying with the currency of their soul through human suffering, the response is to dismiss them as embittered and having chosen the wrong partner. They're gas lighted and brushed aside. Pain, while an essential checkpoint on the journey to enlightenment, is also the birthplace of hatred. Hate, in essence, is the residue of love disappointed by unmet expectations, leading to suffering. It's the natural reaction to the demise of a cherished falsehood.

Men, once blinded by unconditional love for women, perceiving them as universally benevolent and the embodiment of positive femininty, now view the feminine as the exclusive source of their anguish and the destroyer of their innocence. This births misogynists.

This skewed perception, painting women as purer and kind, eventually drives men to extremes—either becoming simps or evolving into outright misogynists, just as women who have been hurt typically become misandrists and fan the flames of radical feminism. Yet, this is a transient phase, a coping mechanism to grapple with pain by rejecting and vilifying those who caused it.

The journey begins as a fool, blindly trusting and loving, only to transform into a different kind of fool—one who blindly distrusts and hates. The error lies in perceiving them as entirely good or entirely bad. True evolution occurs when you recognize that they, like you, embody both good and evil. People are not categorically good or evil; they are a blend of both. The power to be a predator or a protector lies in your hands, and your destiny is a choice you make on your path.

Ignorance makes you love blindly and resentment makes you hate blindly which only prolongs the suffering longer than needed.

Edited November 24, 2023 by zazen

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, Yimpa said:

From what I’ve heard, the newer generation prefers to give out their social media handles, rather than their phone number.

You've heard?

Stop engaging in online debate and go talk to real girls and get their numbers.

[The0Self]

9 hours ago, Yimpa said:

From what I’ve heard, the newer generation prefers to give out their social media handles, rather than their phone number.

This is oversimplified but essentially there are 2 types of guys: guys that girls give their social media handles to, and guys that girls give their phone numbers to. Guess which type women respect and sleep with more.

[Hello from Russia]

What are you smoking here guys

Girls giving their number = their stuff like whatsapp/telegram is tied to it

Why do you even argue about this shit. Just ask for a whatsapp/telegram instead, it is the same, you can even call here if you insist on it so much

Edited November 25, 2023 by Hello from Russia

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You've heard?

Stop engaging in online debate and go talk to real girls and get their numbers.

I’ve heard my sister tell me that.

1 hour ago, The0Self said:

This is oversimplified but essentially there are 2 types of guys: guys that girls give their social media handles to, and guys that girls give their phone numbers to. Guess which type women respect and sleep with more.

My current relationship is unique in that I am dating a woman and I am genderfluid. She expresses a lot of masculine traits as well. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 11/22/2023 at 5:14 PM, Leo Gura said:

There's always more than one girl for you in the world.

I don’t have any evidence to believe there’s more than zero 😔 💀 

 

[The0Self]

11 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

I don’t have any evidence to believe there’s more than zero 😔 💀 

 

Get some evidence then. If you want it.

[Emotionalmosquito]

@The0Self great thanks 👍 I’ll get on that. I’ll let you know when I find any if the universe hasn’t reverted back to stardust by then X D 

[Yimpa]

The key to letting go is acceptance.

Accepting yourself in whatever way, shape, or form you appear to be.

[Yimpa]

A girl loves when you are vulnerable and accepting of all your flaws and insecurities.

[The0Self]

7 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

@The0Self great thanks 👍 I’ll get on that. I’ll let you know when I find any if the universe hasn’t reverted back to stardust by then X D 

Well for anyone who goes from no action to player, getting there is generally one of the hardest things they’ve ever done. So you’d have to make it happen but once you do you’ll no longer think there aren’t any girls for you. It’s the only way really to take things into your own hands and not just rely on a perfect situation that will never come to fall into your lap.

[evgn]

I figured out that i am just addicted to her approval its not that i want her back. She is one of the few attracitve girls that was giving lots of validation, she was loving me more than i loved her. She is very attractive girl i was craving her validation this whole time..

[Dauntment]

On 11/22/2023 at 11:39 AM, evgn said:

Its been one year since we broke up and i cannot let her go. 

I tried meet some girls but got ghosted.

I think about her every day and cannot move on...

You are being weak. There is a congruency between "you not being able to move on" and "why you two broke up". Not absolutely defining but seriously, stop being so damn weak man, its disgusting.

[evgn]

On 12/2/2023 at 0:06 AM, Dauntment said:

You are being weak. There is a congruency between "you not being able to move on" and "why you two broke up". Not absolutely defining but seriously, stop being so damn weak man, its disgusting.

Actually i was the who broke up with her.

Edited December 3, 2023 by evgn

[Yimpa]

You can get to a point where you are so thankful for a breakup. You see it as a catalyst for deep spiritual and personal growth. It gives you a renewed sense of life and purpose; not keep you stuck.

This requires radical open mindedness and ability to face your fears head on. If you need to process the breakup in therapy and/or psychedelics, then do it. Don’t wait.