Is there a point I need to surrender to mediocrity?

[Thought Art]

Okay Forum, 

 

I’m looking at where I am in life. 
 

I am 28 years old, balding. I’m living month to month at this moment annd working to change that.  Unfortunately student loans and a personal loan for a dumb marketing course have me in debt grid lock. I have a plan to pay off the debt, I’ve got a solid budget. My financial habits and psychology has vastly improved since investing in financial books and videos.I also have plans for savings, etc. 
 

This plan is to basically to reach ground zero common sense financially. I admit, I used to be a financial retard and I’ve been working to face the truth of my situation. Honestly I’ve been a retard in every area of my life: relationships, friendships, networking, business, spirituality, etc 
 

I have an accounting diploma to pay the bills. It’s not really my thing unfortunately. It’s milk toast.  Looking at doing cybersecurity. I’m putting money first, and not interest or purpose because I’m so tired of being broke. Soon… I’ll be 40 years old and then what? What did I live for? Leo talks about life purpose or doing work you find meaningful and that it’s not a luxury but, Leo also planned strategically and was never broke. Leo was intelligent and intentional unlike my dumb ass. 

I’m more interested in music and Qigong but I am at a point where these things will never be full time jobs. I’m thinking I’m too old and too busy just getting the basics. I feel pretty full of inner resources right now to solve my financial issues and get a better paying job. I know I have to meet life on its terms. I feel disheartened. Living a passionless life… just to survive…. I don’t want to be here. But, do I need to surrender to this reality? Is this some kind of learned helplessness? 
 

If life was just as simple as get a good paying job, follow financial common sense and get married well… I should have done that when I was 20. Instead I was traumatized, confused, spiritual seeking stoner artist with little common sense and a big brain. I’ve done a LOT of healing, learning, grounding. I feel I’ve matured so much over the past year especially and I do have a vision for wise and mature living. I’m just worried it’s gonna not be… a life purpose. 
 

My YouTube channel is an expression of purpose but… it doesn’t pay me money. 
 

I like the idea of escaping wage slavery but, chances are if I am here it’s too late and I’m doomed to be a wage slave. Which, I guess most people call a career, 😅. 
 

I am afraid I’ve doomed myself to mediocrity. Am I missing certain ingredients in my brain or something? I know I am smart and I can get to a decent place in the next couple of years. 

I can’t boil my whole life down to this awkward phase of self correct in my 20s. I just… I’m aware of how valuable my 20s were and they are behind me. It doesn’t feel great. I do feel behind. 
 

TLDR: Is it wiser to give up on life purpose to focus on just survival in my case? Learning to just enjoy working and living wisely instead of trying to make it as an artist or whatever?

Thanks,

Edited November 21, 2023 by Thought Art

[Leo Gura]

You are still very young and you got plenty of time to escape wage slavery and pursue your passions. There's nothing wrong with working a slave job for a few years to handle your debts and save up some cash.

You don't need to give up. Working a normal job is just part of how you will bootstrap yourself. You just need more patience and to think more long-term.

Edited November 21, 2023 by Leo Gura

[LSD-Rumi]

@Thought Art I have a rule implemented in my psyche. If I found myself suddenly living the worst life ever, I would work from there to improve my situation. This is my attitude towards life. If I someday waked up as a lazy homeless person with no skills and no money , I would work hard from there  to get things better. If I were a 60 years old who lead a life of a failure, I would get up and start improving my life.

Accept and improve, fail and try again, never die, never give up. Be a phenoix, rise from the dead, again and again.

Be positive, be patient, keep a vision in your mind, ignore negative thoughts, work hard and give it everything you got. 

This is what kept me alive to this point. I literally would have killed myself a long time ago if not for this rule.

Promise yourself never to give up.

 

Edited November 21, 2023 by LSD-Rumi

[Thought Art]

I’ve been working on crafting a personal mission statement inspired by reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. I thought I’d share it here too. 
 

I’ll be refining it as I growth and mature until I have a solid foundational document. 

My Personal Mission Statement.pdf

Edited November 21, 2023 by Thought Art

[Leo Gura]

@Thought Art I know it's tough. Hang in there man. Keep stoking the hope.

[LSD-Rumi]

@Thought Art Do you have a life purpose?

[CARDOZZO]

@Thought Art It's tough dude, I understand yourself.

We are so lucky to find self actualization content but sometimes it is a burden and confuses ourselves.

What really helped myself is getting offline for some months.

No social media, forums, YouTube or whatever.

You'll feel better because nowdays we are always looking outside to compare ourselves.

Keep going on your pace, developing step by step.

We are on the journey and everyone is own their path with their own doubts.

Edited November 21, 2023 by CARDOZZO

[Thought Art]

@LSD-Rumi Thank you Rumi, that is a good mindset you share. I’m re-evaluating it. I sense I need to allow myself to focus on this survival stuff right now. I have a life purpose statement but, I think it need adjusting now.

@Leo Gura Thank you Leo. It means a lot to me. 
 

 

[StarStruck]

All I can say is that you could try being more process oriented instead result oriented because I see you comparing yourself to others and calling yourself certain things. You have to fully accept your path and not be in resistance. Otherwise higher consciousness will never come to you and you will be stuck hard knock life in survival mode. 

[ted73104]

This is a question for everyone, doesn't your life purpose not necessarily allow you to escape wage slavery? From my experience, the higher the purpose, the harder it is to make income out of. Not everyone becomes rich, so maybe we shouldn't use wealth as an indicator of our success?

[Thought Art]

I think I just need to find a way to drastically increase my income and to hell with everything else.  Money is all that matters short term/mid term. 
 

No more thinking about being an artist, no more thinking about spirituality, no more Qigong as a business I just can wrap my head around that working out at all. 
 

I need to go into a field like cybersecurity and focus on finding ways of just earning more money. 
 

I don’t think I’ll ever make money from things I like. At least, not unless I already have an Abundance of money in the first place. 
 

It’s also probably true there is more joy in being a craftsman and following a passion anyway. It’s disheartening but, I’m in this social matrix meatsuit nightmare drama. So🙃, gotta meet it on its terms. God dangled a lot of fruit in front of me and slapped me down hard. I get to see artists like Arcadefire and Bon Iver but, not taste success unfortunately. Instead I get bald lonely , debt riddled tinnitus. 
 

Focus on the process, building higher earning skills, being a craftsman in a higher earning field than accounting and payroll like cybersecurity. I know hope is important to keep me alive and going. I just don’t want tjj oh be fooling myself. I suffer enough as it is. I never want my fridge empty again as it is right now. Is embarrassing.

Edited November 21, 2023 by Thought Art

[ted73104]

Sounds like a good plan, the importance of cybersecurity is definitely going to skyrocket again in the near future. Do you have a job currently that is related to cybersecurity development? All you need to do is to locate a high paying job within a cybersecurity company, learn about what detailed skills and experiences you need to get that job. Then train yourself on the stuff that will get you the job, pay for courses if there are any to learn as quickly as possible. The interesting thing is that getting the job doesn't require you be an expert in that field, you only need the basic skills required for the job and the attitude that allows the interviewer to believe that you'd work your ass off if you get applied. You can train yourself further to be a real expert once you get into that company. Once you get in, we could say your income explodes almost overnight.

[The Renaissance Man]

@CARDOZZO How did you manage the boredom and having no distraction outlet? I tried and was stressed AF when removed everything.

[CARDOZZO]

@The Renaissance Man First, writing and walking like a mofo.

The whole idea is to become a creator not a consumer.

[CARDOZZO]

@The Renaissance Man You'll see that if you don't have a smartphone, you'll instantly feel better/productive.

[The Renaissance Man]

@CARDOZZO Logically, it was great. I removed social media, Video games, and so on months ago. But if I take away everything , after I'm done working I'm too tired to engage in an activity (at least for 30-60 minutes), and I feel like I have no outlet after the day of work. And even when I do, it's a bit forced. I mean there are 24 hours in a day, when you remove every form of consumption (which is my goal, it's a waste of my life), I'm left with a lot of time where I'm too tired to do anything but I also can't consume anything.

Were you able to just go all day long walking and writing?

[CARDOZZO]

@The Renaissance Man 

I have a routine with habits like gym, running, meditation, cooking, reading, writing, thinking, contemplation, coding, pickup.

[The Renaissance Man]

@CARDOZZO Thanks, I'll try again for sure in the future.

[CARDOZZO]

@The Renaissance Man Be patient.

[StarStruck]

1 hour ago, The Renaissance Man said:

@CARDOZZO How did you manage the boredom and having no distraction outlet? I tried and was stressed AF when removed everything.

Sexual transmutation. But it is hard to embody it and mastery has a high learning curve.