Emergency with 150mcg 1V-LSD

[Jowblob]

3 minutes ago, Scholar said:

Oh, one key insight was:

What was terrifying about the trip was not that I ever lacked control, but rather, that I always was in complete control. I could and can shape this reality as I please, and that is the control, but somehow it is controlless.

Either way, the fact that the ego does control^... I don't even know what I am saying anymore.

Ego can take over some form of god consciousness/physical matter if you go far enough, because there is only nothingness. If you try to take control over gods matter/flow while being in your ego body, you have a lot of responsibility do you want that and are you really ready for that?

Edited September 14, 2023 by Jowblob

[OBEler]

@Scholar my man, you really conquered fear. That was huge! And interesting realizations, how does that make you feel that you saw that everything is one substance?

Anyway, Have a good rest trip, you made it! 

Edited September 14, 2023 by OBEler

[Jowblob]

1 hour ago, Scholar said:

Oh, one key insight was:

What was terrifying about the trip was not that I ever lacked control, but rather, that I always was in complete control. I could and can shape this reality as I please, and that is the control, but somehow it is controlless.

Either way, the fact that the ego does control^... I don't even know what I am saying anymore.

God = full imaginary potential that sends itself to physicality/dream that is in the ego. It puts itself in the ego, so ego is a fraction of this full potential. So ego can have alot of control in controlles insanity, but only few are brave enough to take control of this flow/god and abide in it.  The braveness that is required to abide in this state as an ego is like walking on razors

Edited September 14, 2023 by Jowblob

[Scholar]

12 hours ago, OBEler said:

@Scholar my man, you really conquered fear. That was huge! And interesting realizations, how does that make you feel that you saw that everything is one substance?

Anyway, Have a good rest trip, you made it! 

Hm, I will have to think about this more deeply. When I wrote those things the trip was not over yet, even though I thought so.

 

I had a strange detachment from my anxiety and fear, yet, at least half of the trip was defined by anxiety and fear. It didn't make me suffer, but I could feel me holding and being unwilling to let go of the tension, of the idea of horror.

With the shaping reality and being in control, what is so terrifying is that it's like your ego wants to cling to anything, to stability, because it is terrified of the unknown. But there is no stability in that state, reality is just completely what will be determined in the moment.

But it wasn't ever truly terrifying to me, it fact I would not say I experience actual terror during the trip, I was very detached from the fear responses, so that I was almost observing them objectively. There was a moment where I had realizations and was at peace, but the tension came back after some time, and I did not resolve it.

So there were certain thought patterns and tensions, but I was detached from them and they did not actually touch me. I had a grin on my face for most of the time, and was laughing at how silly I was being. But I did not dissolve the clinging, I just let the egoic structures do their thing. It's hard to describe, I also didn't sleep at all and my brain is drained.

I will write a proper trip report because there was a lot of things beyond this, but I have a feeling I won't be able to describe them in words even after I try.

 

Either way, it was foolish to take that great of a dose alone, and it being my first time tripping. During the trip i realized I had to be my own trip sitter and so that took away my ability to let myself go completely, but I don't know how I managed to not fall into complete terror. That was the worst start you could possibly imagine for a trip, 20 minutes after intake I was in a full blown panic, thinking about sticking a finger in my throat to puke it out and coming on this forum to ask for advice, but somehow I just managed myself well. But I see the potential of this being incredibly traumatizing for some people who cannot regulate themselves in the way I somehow did.

 

What I would say "saved" the trip would be, if anything, the realization that I don't need to get rid of the fear, even the fear of the fear. I just allowed it to be there and observed it. I stopped evaluating the trip in terms of bad or negative, even though I did observe some thought patterns trying to make meaning out of it, saying "Oh this could be so terrible for you!" "No actually this is healing!" etc., so it was a very objective or detached kind of experience.

Edited September 15, 2023 by Scholar

[Leo Gura]

One of the most important trips I ever had was one of my first bad mushroom trips.

[OBEler]

@Scholar With 100 micro I think you could not learned this message. I dont know if even fear would came up on this dose. 

You mastered fear. That is baseline for all your following trips or situations in life where you experience fear. You needed this to learn so lsd teached it to you 

Edited September 15, 2023 by OBEler

[Leo Gura]

Don't kid yourself. You ain't gonna "master fear". A high enough dose of the right psychedelic will terrify the shit out of you regardless. The lesson is to be careful with your dosing and not rush in like a fool.

Edited September 15, 2023 by Leo Gura

[OBEler]

@Leo Gura Yeah you are right, fear can come up again. But when he takes 150 again, at least it should be less fear because he learned to be detached from it and see fear from another perspective 

 

[LSD-Rumi]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

One of the most important trips I ever had was one of my first bad mushroom trips.

What did you learn from it?

[Scholar]

An another important note: This forum is not LSD friendly because the white background completely annihilates your eyes, lol. It repelled me like garlic repells a vampire.

[OBEler]

@Scholar haha I can imagine 

Oh man, you really had a classical trip. I am looking forward for your full trip report

 

 

[bensenbiz]

6 minutes ago, Scholar said:

An another important note: This forum is not LSD friendly because the white background completely annihilates your eyes, lol. It repelled me like garlic repells a vampire.

Maybe it‘s a feature and not a bug. I remember a rule: don‘t write while tripping. I was suprised that the topic got not locked straight away.

 

I am glad u masterd it well and u got/wi ur teaching out of it. 
 

my first mushroom trip was the same, terror, letting go of tryin to get rid of fear. Pain in the ass but so important and a great start. That I still sticked to this work showed how serious I am with the work. 
 

Don‘t forget proper grounding work, I found out that after trips I am very sensitive to input, so feed it with good stuff and not garbage.

Edited September 15, 2023 by bensenbiz

[Leo Gura]

16 minutes ago, LSD-Rumi said:

What did you learn from it?

To not take so much.

Edited September 15, 2023 by Leo Gura

[OBEler]

@Leo Gura that is the lowest insight I want to get out of a trip. 

[Scholar]

My question is, what do you guys do if you do fall into terror during a trip alone? I have no idea what I would be even doing with my body. Do such trips cause permanent trauma?

[OBEler]

@Scholar I had one lsd Trip full of fear, I was a beginner and I was running away from it. Nowadays I just am curious about the fear. 

 On lsd  such trips dont cause permanent trauma, thats very rare. Especially if you learned a lesson.

How are you feel right now after the trip yesterday? 

 

 

Edited September 15, 2023 by OBEler

[Scholar]

7 minutes ago, OBEler said:

@Scholar I had one lsd Trip full of fear, I was a beginner and I was running away from it. Nowadays I just am curious about the fear. 

 On lsd  such trips dont cause permanent trauma, thats very rare. Especially if you learned a lesson.

How are you feel right now after the trip yesterday? 

 

 

Well mostly exhausted, didn't sleep and my mind feels slow.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, OBEler said:

@Leo Gura that is the lowest insight I want to get out of a trip. 

Don't overlook the value of a low insight deeply learned.

18 minutes ago, Scholar said:

My question is, what do you guys do if you do fall into terror during a trip alone? I have no idea what I would be even doing with my body. Do such trips cause permanent trauma?

You could certainly cause permanent damage to yourself if you're not careful. You could do something very simple and stupid like crack your head on a coffee table as you are panicking. So the #1 principle to learn while tripping is to always move gently.

If you fall into a serious terror the best thing to do is to get a cozy blanket, lay down in bed, shut off all the lights and noise, and just act like you're taking a nap. And keep reminding yourself that it will be over soon and just relax into it.

Edited September 15, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Scholar]

17 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You could certainly cause permanent damage to yourself if you're not careful. You could do something very simple and stupid like crack your head on a coffee table as you are panicking. So the #1 principle to learn while tripping is to always move gently.

If you fall into a serious terror the best thing to do is to get a cozy blanket, lay down in bed, shut off all the lights and noise, and just act like you're taking a nap. And keep reminding yourself that it will be over soon and just relax into it.

What do you guys think of taking Diazepam to stop a worst case panic attack?

I will be trip sitting somebody soon and I am a little paranoid that if they go into complete terror I won't be able to help them, so maybe having some around for the worst case is wise?

Did any of you ever use such things?

[StarStruck]

13 minutes ago, Scholar said:

What do you guys think of taking Diazepam to stop a worst case panic attack?

I will be trip sitting somebody soon and I am a little paranoid that if they go into complete terror I won't be able to help them, so maybe having some around for the worst case is wise?

Did any of you ever use such things?

Knock him out if he goes out of control. It is a best choice in a bad situation. 

Edited September 15, 2023 by StarStruck