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oldhandle

If you have a business to make, and money to make, dating shouldn't even be a concern

15 posts in this topic

...right?

If I take a true look at myself, I honestly think I have too much that is not organized right in my life to be thinking about dating. I haven't even been able to get through Leo's Life Purpose course yet. So, what do you think, should one date while everything is still not put together, or wait?

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I don’t think there’s should or shouldn’t feel for yourself what you wanna focus on

 

Edited by Sugarcoat

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Not necessarily, having a partner can encourage you to do better in business, having wealth can actually make finding someone harder because you have to use tactics and screening to make sure they don’t just want your money.

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I guess I'm trying to cope with someone suddenly leaving me that I was really hoping to becoming a girlfriend. 

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8 minutes ago, oldhandle said:

I guess I'm trying to cope with someone suddenly leaving me that I was really hoping to becoming a girlfriend. 

Sometimes it can be soothing for the mind to just pour all your focus on one thing you’re working on (flow state) as it takes it off of something else that’s hurting you , and at the same time is productive and moving you towards something better. win win
 

It can create a cleansing effect 

Edited by Sugarcoat

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33 minutes ago, oldhandle said:

I guess I'm trying to cope with someone suddenly leaving me that I was really hoping to becoming a girlfriend. 

 

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If you can I would definitely focus more on life purpose first. Learn the skills and get some work done.

Hey, maybe it's good that it didn't work out between you two. You will find a better women for you which maybe you'd otherwise have never met :)

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On 03/09/2023 at 1:33 PM, oldhandle said:

...right?

If I take a true look at myself, I honestly think I have too much that is not organized right in my life to be thinking about dating. I haven't even been able to get through Leo's Life Purpose course yet. So, what do you think, should one date while everything is still not put together, or wait?

@oldhandle Definitely don't isolate yourself, locking yourself up in your room until you're the rich purposeful successful guy you think you have to be to be ready to date.

Definitely also don't start to make dating your main focus and put your life purpose on hold. Recipe for meeting a lot of girls who will waste your time and mess with your emotions a lot before leaving you anyway.

Have a strict timeboxed week for your LP work and whatever other responsibilities you have. Make every day look as much the same as possible, etc. Stick to those timeboxes and work on your goals.

You'll leave about 20% of your free time to do other activities for relaxation and inspiration. You need that anyway, there's no working 100% of the time or you'll grind to a screeching halt within a few weeks.

Try to make that relaxation time as non-toxic to your productive time as possible. Read books, hang out with friends without drinking a lot, go into nature, do physical exercise, fun stuff without poisoning yourself basically.

And then, since you're going to get horny anyways, fit "some" dates in that 20%.

But don't date girls who want to drink and stay up late, it's not worth it.

And don't let them infringe upon your 80% timeboxed week. Or your sleep.

It's hard but that's the way.

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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Isn’t it too overly logical and anal to preach “get the job so you can get finances , get the finances so you can get your shit together, get your shit together so you can get a woman, get a woman so you can cultivate love and get your needs met, and get all of the previous shit so you can meditate and do spirtual pursuits, and maintain all of the previous shit until enlightenment.”

 

I feel like the linear path of xyz as mentioned below is very wrong to apply to everyone and there is a vast amount of exceptions in actual reality and no other spirtual school has put such an emphasis on materialism.

Ideally you can use anything as a tool to the divine why restrict yourself to such a narrow pathway?

also this kind of thinking perpetuates and in a way validates a system which people are already  highly critical of and not working for most people, I don’t see the fruits in preaching this gospel or method and would endorse a more free flowing way.

 

saying you need all that shit to be an attractive man is like saying you need mala beads and an ochre robe to be spirtual, sure it’s sexy on the surface

 

but it’s very risky too, I don’t think actual life progress is that linear, for example why can’t you work on your spirtual first and then come back to career or dating or just say fuck it all. Spirituality shouldn’t be gatekept by materialism ideally your job or career or dating sex life would be a spirtual sadhana in itself and not a bridge to it

Edited by Gidiot

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On 9/3/2023 at 2:33 PM, oldhandle said:

...right?

If I take a true look at myself, I honestly think I have too much that is not organized right in my life to be thinking about dating. I haven't even been able to get through Leo's Life Purpose course yet. So, what do you think, should one date while everything is still not put together, or wait?

Interesting topic. I haven't had a relationship because I guess I did not want it enough.

Right now I really want to make my life sustainable and healthy/stable in the long term, meaning that I am healthy and I have a place to stay and earn my income.

I also really want to focus on my artistic desire which I am really focusing on my free time.

Then I do some stuff like yoga and meditation to be healthy and not be depressed, and think about how to implement a more sustainable lifestyle.

Then, I kinda have no energy for relationships.

If that was to happen, well, I never really approach women or initiate, though I think I could, I do not know how that would escalate in real time, it would be entertaining of course, but if we are talking seriously then the only reason I would have a relationship is to have an artistic power couple.

Means I have an artist or a musician by my side and we talk, keep each other updated, emotionally relieve ourselves and help each other to grow artistically and maybe join our artistic projects.

One scenario would be if she was like a singer or performer I would help her get the technical stuff or make a duet as a side project or if she was a visual artist I would make pads for her exhibitions or even provide with music etc and the other way around. Otherwise I feel that relationships are pretty shallow and involves the same mindset and arguing about the same things for decades. Or he cheated she cheated kind of thing and endless drama about it. Better to be involved balls deep with a person and find some creative solutions to your problems and really support each other.

But I will probably not get that and I will just do it myself anyway when I can. :)

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I really need some kind of balance


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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On 9/10/2023 at 10:00 PM, Thought Art said:

I really need some kind of balance

How's it going for you thus far?

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On 9/4/2023 at 6:04 AM, flowboy said:

Try to make that relaxation time as non-toxic to your productive time as possible. Read books, hang out with friends without drinking a lot, go into nature, do physical exercise, fun stuff without poisoning yourself basically.

And then, since you're going to get horny anyways, fit "some" dates in that 20%.

But don't date girls who want to drink and stay up late, it's not worth it.

And don't let them infringe upon your 80% timeboxed week. Or your sleep.

It's hard but that's the way.

This is great advice, I find if you go to "Gung Ho" the human in you that wants to connect and play gets depressed. But it's a slippery terriroty because women are like a powerful and they're like crystals, very inticing to the ego and all that 20% this 80% that will fly out of the window if she really gets ya

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