After 5 years of mental illness, I think I have bipolar disorder

[LSD-Rumi]

Bipolar type 2 disorder is characterized by frequent and long periods of depression that may last for years and start at an early age  before an episode of hypomania occurs. The antidepressants are less effective or don't work at all. It is accompanied by ocd in 20% of cases. In many cases the diagnosis can be difficult considering it can be mistaken for depression.

I have all the above. I have always thought that OCD was my probelm but now looking back at it, it all makes much sense. I will discuss this with my psychitrist soon.

Edited April 17, 2023 by LSD-Rumi

[Buck Edwards]

Yes you're right. The depression is a pretty strong indicator. Getting diagnosed is absolutely important. Your sleep patterns can be a vital clue. Look for hereditary tendencies as well. Mood swings, inability to control emotions, outbursts, delusions, paranoia, jumping to conclusions, overthinking, excessive preoccupation and constant agitation to name a few make up the remainder of the symptoms.

[M A J I]

I have observed your posts and you remind me of how I used to think as a teenager and created all this issues and false disorders for myself because i took them for granted. I think you have created all these disorders because you simply buy into them too much and swallow them as truth.

If you simply detach from the online world and go into nature for a week or two, calm the mind down, you will have much more clarity.

[LSD-Rumi]

6 hours ago, M A J I said:

I have observed your posts and you remind me of how I used to think as a teenager and created all this issues and false disorders for myself because i took them for granted. I think you have created all these disorders because you simply buy into them too much and swallow them as truth.

If you simply detach from the online world and go into nature for a week or two, calm the mind down, you will have much more clarity.

I don't know how to respond to this but to laugh out loud. Someday you may be unlucky enough (or lucky) to have a severe physical or mental illness and you will know that all your new agey spirituality is total bullshit when hell itself comes banging on your door. You don't really know how brutal mental illness can be. Go read some reports online, it will be eye opening to you. When Your leg is broken and it is bleeding in front of you and the pain is unbearable, you don't say nah, I am imagining things, I should go to the nature and meditate.

Edited April 18, 2023 by LSD-Rumi

[Buck Edwards]

1 hour ago, LSD-Rumi said:

I don't know how to respond to this but to laugh out loud. Someday you may be unlucky enough (or lucky) to have a severe physical or mental illness and you will know that all your new agey spirituality is total bullshit when hell itself comes banging on your door. You don't really know how brutal mental illness can be. Go read some reports online, it will be eye opening to you. When Your leg is broken and it is bleeding in front of you and the pain is unbearable, you don't say nah, I am imagining things, I should go to the nature and meditate.

You're right. 

[M A J I]

16 hours ago, LSD-Rumi said:

I don't know how to respond to this but to laugh out loud. Someday you may be unlucky enough (or lucky) to have a severe physical or mental illness and you will know that all your new agey spirituality is total bullshit when hell itself comes banging on your door. You don't really know how brutal mental illness can be. Go read some reports online, it will be eye opening to you. When Your leg is broken and it is bleeding in front of you and the pain is unbearable, you don't say nah, I am imagining things, I should go to the nature and meditate.

I had them all as i mentioned to you before, I was in your shoes, I experienced it all, then I experienced Enlightenment and I had the power to be reborn into an entirely new being, I realized in the absoluteness of NOW I am no longer the same person I was a moment ago, but my body-of-consciousness was simply "holding" onto those beliefs/traumas ect.. thus carrying them with me, once I let them go, I realized I never had any disorders to begin with, because I am an entirely new being, now and now and now and now.. It is a simple Self-Realization of Truth which I feel very few here have experienced to such depth and degree and it takes a great level of stillness of mind to realize.

Your reality/experience is based on your beliefs/programmes you have consciously or unconsciously bought into or instilled within your consciousness ever since you were born.

Until you make the unconscious conscious, someone else is driving your life. As Bodhidharma once said, those who don't understand depend on reality, those who do understand, reality depends on them.

I am only here to help, but its your life and choice.

Edited April 19, 2023 by M A J I

[M A J I]

I can give you even some examples of when I was a teenager and much more unconscious but the power of the mind and belief changed my state of being almost entirely. I used to think i was "cursed" and always "shit" happens to me, and the more I put "energy" into those "beliefs" the more I experience "shit" always happen to me, I kept (reinforcing) the same beliefs over and over again until they became known in my universe.

Until One day a shaman lady said oh dear you are "blessed" child not "cursed" what we say "programms" our body and consciousness and eventually becomes our life and experience. From that day i changed the 'cursed' to "blessed" and my life changed forever. No longer bad things would happen to me or very rarely and life started to unfold in amazing ways.

Same thing happened when I thought i was bi-polar, Adhd, schizophrenic, ocd ect.. because I was reading too much information and accepting too much things as 'truth' based on what I was experiencing and how others who had these disorders behaved, and comparing and accepting yep thats mee too... so I became like that, until I realized its just my 'mind' and these people are just unique and have (excessively high energy in certain parts of the brain) and need meditation and natural therapies to balance out the energies, not that they are actually disorders because the western culture and system does not understand them so calls them illness. The moment i rose above the minds games and plays, they all had no power over me.

In many Indigenous cultures children with autism, schizophrenia, adhd, ocd ect.. are not seen as mental illness but are seen as "gifted" and need the proper guidance into the world to use their gifts. Most of them are visionaries, mystics, shamans ect.. because they have abilities to tap-into beyond the physical world and channel that energy into the physical where most people do not have those abilities.

You call this new age/spiritual woo woo but that is your (western programmed mind) who does not know that this is not new age at all, this is ancient knowledge and has been going on for thousands and thousands of years, its just lost knowledge and to the ignorant it "appears" as 'new age'.

 

[LSD-Rumi]

@M A J I I spent two years trying to resolve my low mood, my anxiety and the never ending thoughts in my mind using personal development or spirituality refusing any psychiatrist diagnosis and telling myself it is all me. I failed.

I am very skeptical as a person and I usually underestimate things and I don't go to doctors generally unless what I am experiencing is severe.

My case is so severe, you won't believe it. The diagnosis is so clear that I cannot deny it.

I totally understand your point , but I learned from spirituality to trust the truth when it is so obvious and to ignore unnecessary self doubt.

[LSD-Rumi]

6 hours ago, M A J I said:

I had them all as i mentioned to you before, I was in your shoes, I experienced it all, then I experienced Enlightenment and I had the power to be reborn into an entirely new being, I realized in the absoluteness of NOW I am no longer the same person I was a moment ago, but my body-of-consciousness was simply "holding" onto those beliefs/traumas ect.. thus carrying them with me, once I let them go, I realized I never had any disorders to begin with, because I am an entirely new being, now and now and now and now.. It is a simple Self-Realization of Truth which I feel very few here have experienced to such depth and degree and it takes a great level of stillness of mind to realize.

Your reality/experience is based on your beliefs/programmes you have consciously or unconsciously bought into or instilled within your consciousness ever since you were born.

Until you make the unconscious conscious, someone else is driving your life. As Bodhidharma once said, those who don't understand depend on reality, those who do understand, reality depends on them.

I am only here to help, but its your life and choice.

There is a difference between me and you. My main problem is not traumas. I healed those a long time ago. My main problem is that there is really something wrong with my brain. You seem to deny the existence of mental illness altogether 

I had multiple enlightenment experiences  during those last 5 years. The lesson I got is not that God will magIcally heal me. The lesson I got is to accept what I am.

Edited April 19, 2023 by LSD-Rumi

[Carl-Richard]

16 hours ago, M A J I said:

In many Indigenous cultures children with autism, schizophrenia, adhd, ocd ect.. are not seen as mental illness but are seen as "gifted" and need the proper guidance into the world to use their gifts. Most of them are visionaries, mystics, shamans ect.. because they have abilities to tap-into beyond the physical world and channel that energy into the physical where most people do not have those abilities.

That is a myth. 

 

Quote

Noll (1983) has explored the links between shamanism and schizophrenia, testing the research evidence on shamanism against the DSM-III diagnostic criterion. Though he draws comparisons between the two states of mind in terms of the phenomenon experienced, he draws out important differences between shamanic and schizophrenic states, notably that many people on the schizophrenic spectrum do not voluntarily enter an altered state of consciousness whereas research into shamanism unilaterally shows that shamanic states are induced and controlled voluntarily by the shaman, who ultimately maintains a healthy world view between a base line level of consciousness and an altered state of consciousness. He concludes that differences between schizophrenic and shamanic states such as 'volition', mean that the DSM-III cannot be used to define shamanism as the same state as schizophrenia. Robert Sapolsky has theorized that shamanism is practiced by schizotypal individuals rather than those with schizophrenia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_construction_of_schizophrenia

[Grateful Dead]

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

That is a myth. 

But isn't the myth that if someone with schizophrenia was born into a culture that integrates them into its society, the "disease" will not be experienced negatively? Would be interesting to know if there are schizophrenics like we know in indigenous cultures. I think it highly depends on culture

[Carl-Richard]

2 hours ago, acidgoofy said:

But isn't the myth that if someone with schizophrenia was born into a culture that integrates them into its society, the "disease" will not be experienced negatively? Would be interesting to know if there are schizophrenics like we know in indigenous cultures. I think it highly depends on culture

Whether it will be experienced negatively by the individual could certainly be a question, but whether it will be experienced negatively by the surrounding society is probably less up to debate (and it seems to tilt in the negative direction, contrary to what the myth would suggest).

Here Sapolsky tells a really interesting story about the time he met a schizophrenic person in an indigenous culture:

48:22

 

Remember that it's certainly not off the table that schizotypal individuals could be more prone to taking up shamanism than the average person (which is somebody who is kinda on the "schizophrenia spectrum"), but those people are yet not truly "schizophrenic" as per the diagnostic criteria of "schizophrenia" that exists in the DSM-5 or the ICD-11. By those criteria, it's a very specific disorder, and if you want to treat it as such, you're better off listening to what the experts have to say about it rather than what Terrence McKenna said about it.

Edited April 19, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[Thought Art]

Good luck. I’ve heard bipolar takes many years to diagnose. 

[M A J I]

21 hours ago, LSD-Rumi said:

There is a difference between me and you. My main problem is not traumas. I healed those a long time ago. My main problem is that there is really something wrong with my brain. You seem to deny the existence of mental illness altogether 

I had multiple enlightenment experiences  during those last 5 years. The lesson I got is not that God will magIcally heal me. The lesson I got is to accept what I am.

Brother no offense but if you experienced enlightenment we wouldn't be having this silly discussion. Enlightenment comes once.

It is the total Integration and Stabilization of All Awakenings.  Something very few have mastered.

At most you have had some 'awakening' glimpses through substances, nothing of true value or depth that anchors you. This is probably why you are experiencing these symptoms, your energy is all over the place and you are like a balloon on a string, you need grounding to deepen your roots.

This is the issue with modern day psychospiritualists, focusing too much on ascending but have yet to master "grounding". The Deeper the roots the Higher the shoots. If your roots are shallow, when you do rise high prematurely through substances, the mind takes over, entities take over, astral energies are entangled and you are not here, not there, but in-between realms and struggle to stabilize yourself in reality.

Edited April 20, 2023 by M A J I

[M A J I]

22 hours ago, LSD-Rumi said:

@M A J I I spent two years trying to resolve my low mood, my anxiety and the never ending thoughts in my mind using personal development or spirituality refusing any psychiatrist diagnosis and telling myself it is all me. I failed.

I am very skeptical as a person and I usually underestimate things and I don't go to doctors generally unless what I am experiencing is severe.

My case is so severe, you won't believe it. The diagnosis is so clear that I cannot deny it.

I totally understand your point , but I learned from spirituality to trust the truth when it is so obvious and to ignore unnecessary self doubt.

When is the last time you took a break from the world, being online and focusing on all this stuff and actually visit Nature? You'd be amazing and how much healing and stabilizing it can be to just detach from the modern day chaos and overstimulation and calm your mind, body and spirit. Save up some money and take a holiday to the mountains or forests, or go camping and detach from all of this, your phone included. The reason why most humans are in a mess is because they have severed their connection to nature, they live in artificial environments that gradually make them sicker and sicker, it is very important to spend time in nature, more than meditation, more than psychedelics, and its free and easier than anything else, just a few days disconnecting and replace months of self-work in the city because of the over-abundance of artificiality, excess radiation and electronics, toxic air and disturbing sounds, and many other distortions that do not allow your mind to calm or spirit to settle into your body.

Edited April 20, 2023 by M A J I

[Yimpa]

On 4/17/2023 at 1:24 AM, LSD-Rumi said:

I will discuss this with my psychitrist soon.

Yup, best to talk to a professional. 

There have been times I thought I had something, then I asked the professional and they opened my mind to a different perspective. 

[Grateful Dead]

@Carl-Richard Very interesting!

10 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

but those people are yet not truly "schizophrenic" as per the diagnostic criteria of "schizophrenia" that exists in the DSM-5 or the ICD-11. By those criteria, it's a very specific disorder, and if you want to treat it as such, you're better off listening to what the experts have to say about it rather than what Terrence McKenna said about it.

Yes, you are right, I can see that.

[Nivsch]

On 17.4.2023 at 9:24 AM, LSD-Rumi said:

Bipolar type 2 disorder is characterized by frequent and long periods of depression that may last for years and start at an early age  before an episode of hypomania occurs. The antidepressants are less effective or don't work at all. It is accompanied by ocd in 20% of cases. In many cases the diagnosis can be difficult considering it can be mistaken for depression.

I have all the above. I have always thought that OCD was my probelm but now looking back at it, it all makes much sense. I will discuss this with my psychitrist soon.

Please try to not get drown too much in these definitions that can only make you feel worse.

I would suggest you to investigate your nutrition deeply.

Trust yourself first and foremost. Pills can help. Take them if you want but you yourself know they dont last long term and their withdrawal can be really dangerous. Take them but wisely, and never see them as a root solution.

Symptoms are valid signals and have to be inveatigated seriousely. It will take hard work but it will worth it. Symptoms are not enemies, not pathologies and not "illness". 

Genetics can cause different mental constructs but these are still not "ilnesses" and not necessarily have to cause suffering.

Spirituality has No meaning at all if we in the end regressing back to psychiatrists pov's. 

You are HEALTHY and you will improve. I am talking from experience.

Wish you good luck.

 

Edited April 22, 2023 by Nivsch

[LSD-Rumi]

An update: My psychiatrist sees that the diagnosis is very likely, but he cannot make a diagnosis because of my drug use. He already prescribed me drugs for bipolar depression and I am doing better than ever on them. My mood is very stable, no anxiety, and the ocd is gone.

Btw, I am honestly amazed by how many people here seem to "deny" mental illness and how spirituality is the cure for everything. Let me say this, I for sure would have killed myself if I could not have some proper medication, no amount of of spirituality  have helped me, which I tried a lot of it. Mental illness is no joke when it hits hard.

Edited April 22, 2023 by LSD-Rumi

[Nivsch]

1 hour ago, LSD-Rumi said:

Btw, I am honestly amazed by how many people here seem to "deny" mental illness and how spirituality is the cure for everything. Let me say this, I for sure would have killed myself if I could not have some proper medication, no amount of of spirituality  have helped me, which I tried a lot of it. Mental illness is no joke when it hits hard.

Nobody denies mental problems and the tremendous suffering they are creating, neither the genetic component of mental constructs, nor the significance of wise use of symptom-masking tools in stages of the journey.

But to say that some mental conditions fundamentally requires medication for life just because of the genetic condition is to play to the devil hands.

Edited April 22, 2023 by Nivsch