God is actively plotting against me.

[Holykael]

So I ordered some LSD and magically my father knew that I ordered LSD and caused a shitstorm, it's impossible to know how. This is not the first time this happened, there was one time my father guessed what was in an unopened package without knowing what's there. God is conspiring against me and using my father as a puppet. When asked how he got wind of the information, he couldn't respond because it's a glitch in the matrix. God is truly a fucking bastard to me. First he destroyed my life with LSD and then when I finally got the courage to reconnect with it so I could mahasamadhi, he used my father to catch me and impossibly with no explanation, he just knew randomly out of nowhere. Fuck existence.

This is why Leo, you can't awaken through hard work or anything like that. God is in control and he will fuck you in the ass.

Edited April 6, 2023 by Holykael

[Jowblob]

Yeah i knew this would happen to be honest, it's hard to explain but based on your reply i got back in private message i knew god would do some shit to you.

Edited April 6, 2023 by Jowblob

[LSD-Rumi]

@Holykael Dude, all your post are this negative attitude mixed with spiritual BS. You need really consider changing your attitude. 

[Holykael]

13 minutes ago, LSD-Rumi said:

@Holykael Dude, all your post are this negative attitude mixed with spiritual BS. You need really consider changing your attitude. 

You dont know what it's like to have the entire universe conspire against your life because you don't fucking exist. You don't know what it's like to be in my shoes... None of you are real except me.

Radical implications of oneness is happening to me.

Edited April 6, 2023 by Holykael

[Vibes]

46 minutes ago, Holykael said:

So I ordered some LSD and magically my father knew that I ordered LSD and caused a shitstorm, it's impossible to know how. This is not the first time this happened, there was one time my father guessed what was in an unopened package without knowing what's there. God is conspiring against me and using my father as a puppet.

Why do you give your father so much power over you?

You need to heal trauma. Your problem is not that you know too much, it's that you have trauma!

Fuck your father.

Edited April 6, 2023 by Vibes

[LSD-Rumi]

@Holykael Stop all spirituality and go build a healthy life first, spirituality is hurting you.

[Holykael]

I cannot build a healthy life. Everything was destroyed. I don't have the motivation or the willpower to do anything. Fuck this universe and fuck everyone, wish it would all just die so I can be at peace

Edited April 6, 2023 by Holykael

[Vibes]

This is my last comment on one of your posts.

Keep spinning your stories.

Edited April 6, 2023 by Vibes

[PeaceOut96]

@Holykael

If your mind is attacking you, and you're in deep suffering. Than there is nothing "you" can do about it. Don't listen to anyone saying to go build your life etc. I know exactly what you are going trough. First of all I know you want to express your hurts and pain, but its counterproductive. The suffering doesn't go away when you're feeding the negativity more than necessary. So stop adding to your suffering and this is in your hands! Its probably for your own best that you couldn't get your hands on LSD, maybe the Universe is telling you that you need to go trough this fase in your life sober. Surrender your entire Life. What do you have to lose? Take it easy, meditate sometime without the intention of getting some where. If you can't meditate its no big deal, just go trough the motions of your life with CONSCIOUSNESS not like a robot. Act as if you're dead already. Holykeal is your character, its a role that you're playing, its not who you are in your core. Don't listen to your mind, its telling you lies constantly. Surrender to life with the intention of freedom, peace and love. Don't hurt anyone or yourself. Be kind to yourself, and when you experience uncomfortable states and strong negative emotions just realize it will pass. You're going through a purification process its okay. I have a lot more to say, but if you want more advice just write to me. 

[The0Self]

This is what getting mired in thoughts looks like. Release and retract the attention from the thought and place it on sensations, perhaps positive sensation you cultivate.

[Hojo]

If you keep an attitude that the universe is conspiring against you it will do that. You understand the universe is a reflection of your thoughts. You are doing this to yourself. You are too focused on getting fucked over. Stop caring so much man let the universe fuck you and love it and it will stop fucking you. You are creating your own hell hole by letting Satan's evil thoughts run your mind. You don't need lsd to masahawhatever. 

Edited April 6, 2023 by Hojo

[Breakingthewall]

Life always tests you. You have to be unbreakable, or you will be broken. simple.

just keep going, like you're a force of nature, that never stops

[LSD-Rumi]

2 hours ago, Holykael said:

I cannot build a healthy life. Everything was destroyed. I don't have the motivation or the willpower to do anything. Fuck this universe and fuck everyone, wish it would all just die so I can be at peace

Dude, you need some medication and therapy. Pls, go see a psychiatrist, it will help a lot. Keeping this negative attitude will not help you. Pls seek treatment.

[zurew]

Forget about philosophy and about spiritual work for a while, and come back to it after you have healed up from your traumas or after you have gone through your nihilism. 

Your psychology has a really hard effect on how you view the world and what kind of philosophical framework you are more attracted to.

Edited April 6, 2023 by zurew

[MarkKol]

You managed to make yourself believe that the universe is conspiring against you. That’s next level.

Edited April 6, 2023 by MarkKol

[nuwu]

I know how it feels, but it can't be.

[zurew]

10 minutes ago, Squeekytoy said:

That IS his spiritual and philosophical work...

Sure you can frame it that way, but I like to convey things using different words, because if we use the word 'spiritual' and 'philosophical' for everything ,then those words will eventually lose their meaning and communicative ability.

[MarkKol]

Just now, Squeekytoy said:

When you identify as an ego, and you are asking the universe for ego death..................

Sounds more like mental illness than Ego death

[zurew]

1 minute ago, Squeekytoy said:

No, that IS his spiritual and philosophical work.

Then I guess everything is spiritual work. Now we can trash that word to the trashbin because it doesn't convey or communicate anything anymore.

[zurew]

Just now, Squeekytoy said:

You read OP's post and think that's just anything? What planet are you from?

I have no idea what point you are trying to make there.