I realized I am socially awkward at work

[Thought Art]

I've realized that I am socially awkward at work. What are some tips, for while I work at places for:

1. Being more professional and yet casual with my speech

2. Giving off Normie vibes

Some people know I teach Qigong online. I really don't fit into the culture there. Feeling a bit vulnerable, some fear. But, also surrendering to what is. 

I think because, I don't really fit in with my work culture I am going to be let go. I have a fear that this will the case more and more often as I grow and develop myself. I don't know if that is silly or not. Anyway, I have grown so much. If it does come, it is not bad. 

Edited April 1, 2023 by Thought Art

[Illusory Self]

That's a judgement. The only one who is thinking those thoughts is you, why do feel like you need to be perfect? I was the same, really bad social anxiety, conversation skills etc.. I had to remove the judgements that I had about myself of not been good enough in social situations to actually be good where everything flows freely. 

 

So imo, worth looking into why you get thoughts that you think you are socially awkward and need to improve in the first place.

 

It's actually a great time when one feels like that, it's a trigger to do deep inner healing work. 

 

Look at it as a positive  

[Thought Art]

@Illusory Self Yeah, I am doubting my work ability as well. I think they may need someone with more experience in this role. I am learning a lot and growing every week. But, I think my experience is limited, and they may want someone with more experience. I have heard from others that people speak about me behind my back. I feel the energy in the room. It's, obvious people think I am strange.

I think my skills matched what they were looking for when they initially hired me. But, because of the structural changes the expertise required for that position is higher than what I can currently offer.

Plus, it's really a toxic work environment for me now. I am doing well because I practice and train to have my effortless workweek.

I am. I really find it hard to connect with people. I think I am an over sharer. This will be a trap for me as long as I have to work for others. Also, it's an important part of my social skills to develop. I really should socialize more. But, I also have so much work I need to do.

Either way, I think staying where I am with this job I will continue to grow. I am going to work my ass off anyway because I care about developing my skills. I feel confident this may come. I want to be prepared for it. 

There is currently a high turn over rate. I suspect this could happen, that I will be let go. I just , I am getting the sense from management and the culture.

Edited April 1, 2023 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

I believe I can do the job with excellence. However, it may take time. This will be my best week by far, and I will continue to work very hard even though I suspect this is coming. 

I have to admit I really don't know.

Edited April 1, 2023 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

Hmm, Yeah feeling fear and uncertainty right now. I need to grow, and develop myself to be able to make money from my online business. 

There are no problems. Only opportunities. 

Edited April 1, 2023 by Thought Art

[Nilsi]

What work do you do?

[Thought Art]

I don't know for certain. But, I suspect the end is near for me at this particular place. Grateful overall for experience. 

Edited April 1, 2023 by Thought Art

[DrugsBunny]

Excuse the half sarcastic dismissive response, but forreal, unironically:

Start working remote.

[LSD-Rumi]

@Thought Art You don't look like a socially akward guy from the way you write online (if it can be used to judge people in first place ) . Maybe it is all  just in your head. Also, All people have some level of social anxiety or akwardness. The trick is to work on yourself to develop inner safety. This is the solution for all social akwardness. It is not all or nothing, the process should be gradual.

[Thought Art]

@DrugsBunny Working remote is a good idea. But, will that result in real growth? Or just avoiding the problem?

@LSD-Rumi Thank you for your kind words. It's probably a degree of awkwardness.

[PenguinPablo]

@Thought Art is this something that you necessarily care about handling? it fine to go around the problem sometimes and carry on towards more meaningful work. we spend too much time on the wrong problems. they can self correct when we're aligned, rather trying to solve the problem indefinitely with cheap patches and bandaids.

[Thought Art]

@PenguinPablo Hmm, I don't know. I know that I want to develop my interpersonal and leadership skills. That is important for my business. 

I think it's worth addressing. I may be being paranoid about how others perceive me but who knows. 

[PenguinPablo]

@Thought Art You want to climb the mountain then  

[Dauntment]

On 3/31/2023 at 8:53 PM, Thought Art said:

I've realized that I am socially awkward at work. What are some tips, for while I work at places for:

1. Being more professional and yet casual with my speech

2. Giving off Normie vibes

Some people know I teach Qigong online. I really don't fit into the culture there. Feeling a bit vulnerable, some fear. But, also surrendering to what is. 

I think because, I don't really fit in with my work culture I am going to be let go. I have a fear that this will the case more and more often as I grow and develop myself. I don't know if that is silly or not. Anyway, I have grown so much. If it does come, it is not bad. 

"Nothing is awkward until you make it awkward" , The Law of State Transference if you will.

Simply put: I think you should focus more the internal than external, otherwise .....uh, "it will be very mechanical", not genuine 

[Dauntment]

On 4/1/2023 at 2:35 PM, Thought Art said:

@PenguinPablo Hmm, I don't know. I know that I want to develop my interpersonal and leadership skills. That is important for my business. 

I think it's worth addressing. I may be being paranoid about how others perceive me but who knows. 

Oooh, this may be a dagger: Should you be in that line of business then? Business is hyperpractical and impersonal, it doesn't care "what you want" outside of the transaction.

[Thought Art]

@Dauntment I feel better now about work. Just went through a stressful sense of uncertainty. But, I am over it now. 

Just needed some rest, and a mindset shift and it's been night and day. 

In order to grow we have to go through stress. Direct experience and challenges do this. 

I am not socially awkward. But, like anyone have room for improvement in this area. I can actually be very socially in tune. 

Edited April 14, 2023 by Thought Art

[r0ckyreed]

It is important to not let the invented social norms run our lives and make us inauthentic.  Keep trying to be your most genuine authentic self.  Your best is enough.  Awkwardness is part of life, but it does not exist in the world but in the collective mind.

[Ninja_pig]

Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Super good advice that I think you will find very useful. Basically what you will read is to take a genuine interest in people. Also some good advice is to find friends to hang out with outside of work (they can be from your work) and hang out with them regularly. Also, eat well, exercise, keep up with your hygiene, get a good haircut, and wear clothes that fit. These things will all make you feel more comfortable in your own skin and confident.

I had issues with social awkwardness and the thing that really solved it for me was the things I just told you. The friends were the most important thing for me. They taught me that I'm actually a normal person and I just have to think of myself as a normal person in order to be one.

[Thought Art]

I reframed things. All good.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

For me, these feelings of being socially awkward, are just the voices of my parents who would always tell me that I did this wrong and that wrong and so on and so on. This made me adopted a pattern where I'm constantly over-analyzing everything I say and do in social scenarios. What has helped me is to become aware of how I had subconsciously adopted the thought patterns so that I could then make the conscious decision to change how I talk to myself. It's a slow process because it also requires one to work through all the trauma/karma that is associated with these thought patters, which can be emotionally taxing, but the result will be that social interactions will be less emotionally taxing in general.

This might not resonate with you personally. This is just my little anecdote.

Edited April 19, 2023 by DefinitelyNotARobot