Unsure Of Sexuality

[King Merk]

I’ve spent most of my life thinking of myself as a heterosexual man.

I’ve dated women all my life and felt sexual attraction primarily to women.

That said, in the back of my mind I suspect that I may be semi gay.

I thoroughly enjoy anal masturbation and have considered doing some sort of pegging with my girlfriend (although I don’t feel ready to do it just yet)

I’ve also met a handful of guys in my life that I could fantasize about having some sort of homosexual relationship to. I like the idea of threesomes both guy/guy/girl and girl/girl/guy.

But then when I watch full gay or trans porn it makes my boner go away. And the thought of kissing a man or sucking a cock is pretty repelling to me.

I’m not sure if I’m actually a little gay and repressing that side of me due to my upbringing (grew up in the rural south - very stage blue).

Or if I’m just so open minded that I’m trying to convince myself to be a little gay lolol

How do you “know” your sexuality?

It seems like such a fluid moment to moment thing to me. Like I’m 99% straight but under just the right circumstances I’d be a little gay.

Idk ?‍?

[King Merk]

@Jannes inspired this post with his recent thread on accepting bisexuality so thanks bro 

[Leo Gura]

You def ain't 99% straight.

[King Merk]

@Leo Gura perhaps I’ve just an extremely picky bisexual man then?

[LSD-Rumi]

@King Merk It starts like this and if you followed it, you will find yourself masturbating to gay porn. 

[King Merk]

8 minutes ago, LSD-Rumi said:

@King Merk It starts like this and if you followed it, you will find yourself masturbating to gay porn. 

I’ve tried watching gay porn though and it always makes my boner go away. I can’t even enjoy trans porn which seems less gay to me. That’s one of the things that has got me confused.

I feel like if I’m authentically gay/bisexual then I wouldn’t have to “force” myself into liking that stuff… I assume there'd be a naturally pull to it like there is for traditional heterosexual porn

I can’t even get into heterosexual videos of women pegging men. Even that content turns me off but I enjoy anal masturbation with myself so it’s a bit paradoxical

 

 

[StarStruck]

Looks like you convinced yourself you are not gay. 

[King Merk]

11 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Looks like you convinced yourself you are not gay. 

Yea I’ve now officially retired from being gay.

Thanks for the help everyone.

Chicks over dicks for now  

[King Merk]

 

[LSD-Rumi]

2 hours ago, King Merk said:

I feel like if I’m authentically gay/bisexual then I wouldn’t have to “force” myself into liking that stuff… I assume there'd be a naturally pull to it like there is for traditional heterosexual porn

You definitely can make yourself more gay if your sexuality is fluid in the first place. It is not forcing yourself, it is more of allowing yourself to experience other sexual orientations.

Edited October 30, 2022 by LSD-Rumi

[King Merk]

@LSD-Rumi interesting. Yea I’ll play around with it more.

Admittedly I think I’m afraid of being gay/bi so I’m sure there’s some shadow aspects that need integrated 

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, King Merk said:

@Leo Gura perhaps I’ve just an extremely picky bisexual man then?

Well, I'm am extremely picky straight man, so.

[CultivateLove]

@King Merk Maybe when it comes to men you're a bit like a mormon girl, beneath thick layers of judgement and shame hides a primal desire that you need just the right person to woo you in just the right way for you to be able to discover what's beneath.

Edited October 30, 2022 by CultivateLove

[TheNovice]

I think society conditions us to identify and hold a specific categorys of sexuality when all sexuality is, is a cluster of cravings and such. just do what feels right for you bro.

These categories just happen to exist because they are practical when a lot of people have similar preferences and creates an illusion that it is a "thing"

Don't worry too much about these categories do what feels right 

[King Merk]

3 minutes ago, TheNovice said:

I think society conditions us to identify and hold a specific categorys of sexuality when all sexuality is, is a cluster of cravings and such. just do what feels right for you bro.

These categories just happen to exist because they are practical when a lot of people have similar preferences and creates an illusion that it is a "thing"

Don't worry too much about these categories do what feels right 

Honestly I think this is the best advice around sexuality that I’ve received.

If it feels good then it is good.

No judgments. 

[King Merk]

5 minutes ago, CultivateLove said:

@King Merk Maybe when it comes to men you're a bit like a mormon girl, deep down you drool for the D but you need the right guy to woo you in the right way.

That shit made me laugh out loud?

[StarStruck]

1 hour ago, King Merk said:

Yea I’ve now officially retired from being gay.

Thanks for the help everyone.

Chicks over dicks for now  

Hence the comment

[TheNovice]

@King Merk  But I guess it's hard not to judge oneself because of cultural and personal baggage.

I guarantee there is a whole field of self-help or psychology focused on becoming more sexually liberated, go research that stuff.

[something_else]

Im straight, but I can definitely deeply appreciate really good looking dudes when I see them. It’s pretty rare, though.

And it’s not sexual. It’s more an appreciation of beauty. 

I find that you can see very attractive women pretty frequently if you go to the right places, but it’s a lot rarer to see guys who are exceptionally good looking, which might explain the pickiness.

Edited October 30, 2022 by something_else

[Osaid]

10 hours ago, TheNovice said:

I think society conditions us to identify and hold a specific categorys of sexuality when all sexuality is, is a cluster of cravings and such. just do what feels right for you bro.

These categories just happen to exist because they are practical when a lot of people have similar preferences and creates an illusion that it is a "thing"

Don't worry too much about these categories do what feels right

Exactly.

Gender labels are good from a societal standpoint. They're practical. They keep things in order. They're useful. But they are not entirely accurate. Just cause it's useful doesn't mean it's based on truth.

Sexual attraction is too nuanced and fluid to really be put in boxes. You will always find some small instance where you're like "OMG did that really just turn me on... but I thought I was attracted to something else.. how is this possible" and then your brain malfunctions because you convinced yourself that gender always comes in strict labels and boxes.

It reminds me of animals that are classed as herbivores, but will eat animals in favorable situations, like deers eating birds and squirrels. The label herbivore is useful, but not entirely truthful to the nature of the animal.

Edited October 30, 2022 by Osaid