Girlfriend won't let me watch porn...

[Carl-Richard]

3 minutes ago, Devin said:

She wants more sex, he wants porn instead of sex.

She wants him to stop watching porn because of her psychic whatever feelings and I guess jealousy. She is the one withholding sex. The guy is fine with having more sex. He just doesn't want to give up his porn.

[ajai]

On 7/8/2022 at 0:10 PM, Adam M said:

Should I break up w her? 

If you are asking this to us, boi you lost her already, matter of fact, you love porn more than you love her. C'mon now.

[LSD-Rumi]

If she is stage yellow she should easily be able to understand that as a man you have different needs and are attracted to different things and you have higher levels of sexual energy. Explain to her that porn is healthy and good when consumed in a healthy way.

If she loves she must be able to tolerate somethings that you do and she doesn't like and vice versa. Her telling you that she would break up with you if you don't quit Porn sounds very exaggerated. Explain to her that she should respect the differences between you in thoughts and actions.  If she doesn't like porn she shouldn't make you hate it too. Don't let her gaslight you. This should be a point of discussion between you for other things too, not just porn.

[Devin]

7 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

She wants him to stop watching porn because of her psychic whatever feelings and I guess jealousy. She is the one withholding sex. The guy is fine with having more sex. He just doesn't want to give up his porn.

"As for why don't I just have sex with her?

Well, for one, masturbating alone is a completely different experience than sexual intercourse.

Having sex requires tremendous focus and energy (for the guy mostly) and if I feel very tired... lazy... and just want to cum... it's a lot less pressure and more relaxing for me to just masturbate on my own. "

 

He says THE reason he doesn't have sex with her is because he wants to masturbate to porn instead, not that she doesn't want to.

Edited August 10, 2022 by Devin

[Devin]

@Adam M

When you take a break from porn does she ever turn you down when you want sex?

You say you prefer masturbating because it's easier, have you tried letting her do the work in those instances? Women like quickies part of the time too, they love getting their guy off

Edited August 10, 2022 by Devin

[Dean Raymond]

@Gesundheit2 Great comparison, never thought about it like that

[Carl-Richard]

3 hours ago, Devin said:

He says THE reason he doesn't have sex with her is because he wants to masturbate to porn instead, not that she doesn't want to.

He is saying he wants both. He doesn't just want to have sex.

[gettoefl]

watching porn in a relationship is giving a certain percent of your resources to an internet sex worker

it is akin to polygamy - yes i enjoy my steak at home yet i will eat fast food outdoors whenever i please

be honest about who you are and if they are annoyed at you draining your resources this way, be the man and pack your bags

porn represents stunted development so find someone more on your level

[integral]

17 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

it is akin to polygamy

To you, that's your perspectives if you where doing it. To him and 99.99% of males porn is like watching tv. 

[gettoefl]

8 minutes ago, integral said:

To you, that's your perspectives if you where doing it. To him and 99.99% of males porn is like watching tv. 

you are engaging other females if only virtually ... go heal your trauma and wounds and then get involved with someone on your level ... an evolved person doesn't desire that in their life, they despise it ... besides you don't need to do what the 99% are doing

[zurew]

@gettoefl Whats inherently wrong with watching porn, if you engage with it in a healthy way, and you are not addicted to it?

[Devin]

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

He is saying he want both. He doesn't just want to have sex.

Yeah. I think my bias is that I think porn is sh!t and that it keeps you from going deeper into your sexuality than just the surface. I think it takes away from your partner in that way, which is what I think she is getting at, you can't go deeper with your partner, your sex will suck, porn's fake it lies to you about sex, if he TRIES quitting porn and going deeper with her he will see porn was holding him and their relationship back and he'll be disgusted by porn for it.

Trying this would be good for the relationship, you should be able to help each other grow in healthy ways, she isn't telling him to quit she's telling him she will leave if he doesn't, expressing a boundary, not manipulation; healthy. It doesn't just effect him it effects their sex life. Like saying if you keep getting drunk I'm leaving.

You could try to figure something out with keeping porn too, sure, I'm being biased for sure. The girl I'm with likes porn and I don't have a problem with it, so I don't think I'm too biased though.

Edited August 10, 2022 by Devin

[gettoefl]

15 minutes ago, zurew said:

@gettoefl Whats inherently wrong with watching porn, if you engage with it in a healthy way, and you are not addicted to it?

your partner is allowed to choose a non porn dynamic

besides porn is a life drainer, takes away your vital life force leaving your depleted and dysfunctional at dealing with real people

[Carl-Richard]

11 minutes ago, KH2 said:

Personally, when I just ignore both my pleasure AND my emotions, AND on top of that do what needs to be done, I ironically end up feeling better in the longterm anyway.

"Don't go to the toilet. It's such a waste. Real men retain their shit."

[Devin]

6 minutes ago, KH2 said:

when I just ignore both my pleasure AND my emotions, AND on top of that do what needs to be done, I ironically end up feeling better in the longterm anyway.

I'm similar, I always felt worse following emotions or "pleasure". I follow my intuition but not my emotions, I do listen to them though, they are just indicators of something I need to process though not something to act upon. Following intuition and rationale is what keeps me peaceful, real pleasure

[zurew]

15 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

your partner is allowed to choose a non porn dynamic

Don't disagree with that.

15 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

besides porn is a life drainer, takes away your vital life force leaving your depleted and dysfunctional at dealing with real people

How? Not all people who watch porn experience the effects that you listed above.

Edited August 10, 2022 by zurew

[Carl-Richard]

14 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

besides porn is a life drainer, takes away your vital life force leaving your depleted and dysfunctional at dealing with real people

Incel dogma.

[gettoefl]

12 minutes ago, zurew said:

Don't disagree with that.

How? Not all people who watch porn experience the effects that you listed above.

i argue that porn is stunted development due to unhealed pysche, you do it since you don't relate effectively to the opposite sex, if you could relate properly you'd be having all that sex with them, women don't want sex less than men, they want high quality high quantity sex with evolved menwho don't need the screen version ... unless perhaps to watch some high quality movies together from time to time ... some women will enjoy this ... so find someone who has the same taste for it as you do

[integral]

6 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

they want high quality high quantity sex with evolved menwho don't need the screen version

Woman want low quality animal sex to. its completely relative to there situation. 

[gettoefl]

10 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Incel dogma.

child in a man's body more like ... a conscious person has no interest in such base degeneracy and bringing such energy into a relationship is despicable ... fix yourself then go love someone