Someone here

I'm sick and tired of life

28 posts in this topic

 

Im so tired of living life. I'm physically exhausted and I view living as a chore . Even the basic stuff like eating ,showering, shittng etc all of it feels like a burden. I don't really understand the feeling but I will try my best to explain it .

It really doesn’t seem worth it anymore. Nothing brings me happiness or satisfaction. I have no goals and no ambitions. All I do is play video games, mentally masturbate on this forum , smoke, sleep. And repeat.

I’ve got no lover and probably won’t have one for a long time. I’ve got no real passions or hobbies that I look forward to.except maybe philosophy. But I can't  be a philosopher with a business degree . I have friends, but I struggle with intimacy and I’m always wrapped up in my insecurities that I’m always worried I’ll lose them eventually. 

I don’t go out. No one invites me anyways. I don’t have any confidence in myself to go do things alone and even if I did, I don’t have the money. 

I’m sick of living life. It seems like nothing but stress and competition and pain. I wake up every morning feeling like shit. I go to bed feeling like shit. I’m just going through the motions waiting till I die. Nothing seems like its worth it anymore. Nothing brings me happiness or satisfaction. I have tried so many different things. I am so done with trying. I want to give up. 


PM me If you want to have a conversation about existential shit.

 

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If you want to become a philosopher, get serious about it. Read the greeks, read the enlightenment philosophers, if you grapple with meaning and nihilism, read the existentialists if you must. Find out what it is about philosophy that you love. Is it the aesthetics and prose, is it the logic, is it making the world better? Dont ruminate on Truth and the Absolute all the time. Nothing can be said about that, that hasnt been said a million times already. Philosophy can not come from a place of equanimity. Allow yourself to be kinky, irrational, mystical, creative, dont suppress that shit, treat it like your muse.

Go enroll in university if you are not already, there are tons of people there interested in philsophy and literature. Connect with those people, start a book club or some kind of underground think tank or whatever, how hard can it be if you really try to make it happen?

 


"We all must be, and can only be, a light unto ourselves."

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@Nilsi

The problem is im expecting someone else to hire me in order to practice philosophy and make a living doing so.  And the answer is no, i don’t need to have work to be a philosopher. I need to be a philosopher to get work.

Rightly defined philosophy is simply the love of wisdom.

If I'm talking about monetizing philosophy than well i need to do exactely that. Find a way to monetize it. Write a book. Sell it. Talk on YouTube, or blog or something and monetize it any number of ways people monetize their YouTube channel or blogs. But I haven't figured out yet how to do that. 

But anyways that's not the essential problem in my life is that I can't follow my passion . I mentioned other things as well . I'm physically sick of life and it's constant  challenges and the need to improve ourselves.  Like it seems like a lot of effort for what ? For nothing. You probably gonna die and never wake up again and consciousness might disappear forever.  

You know ..you always get in life what you put into it .and I'm not putting much. So I'm not getting much. Other than a mediocre life .


PM me If you want to have a conversation about existential shit.

 

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38 minutes ago, Someone here said:

@Nilsi

The problem is im expecting someone else to hire me in order to practice philosophy and make a living doing so.  And the answer is no, i don’t need to have work to be a philosopher. I need to be a philosopher to get work.

Rightly defined philosophy is simply the love of wisdom.

If I'm talking about monetizing philosophy than well i need to do exactely that. Find a way to monetize it. Write a book. Sell it. Talk on YouTube, or blog or something and monetize it any number of ways people monetize their YouTube channel or blogs. But I haven't figured out yet how to do that. 

But anyways that's not the essential problem in my life is that I can't follow my passion . I mentioned other things as well . I'm physically sick of life and it's constant  challenges and the need to improve ourselves.  Like it seems like a lot of effort for what ? For nothing. You probably gonna die and never wake up again and consciousness might disappear forever.  

You know ..you always get in life what you put into it .and I'm not putting much. So I'm not getting much. Other than a mediocre life .

 

You are creating all this negativity and nihilism yourself. I can only give you a vision of what you could become, should you choose to take responsibility for your life and actualize your dreams. If you would rather be depressed and bitch and moan, there is nothing I can do or say to you to change that. Try to make it happen! Until you do that you have no right to complain and Im not going to bend over backwards to talk you into following your dreams.


"We all must be, and can only be, a light unto ourselves."

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your problem is obvious. You are a prisoner of your ego. You're not going to get out of there in 3000 lifes without chemical help and you know it. for other people it is possible, they are in another point. they are going to meditate alone for 2 years, etc. you are at the opposite pole, as i was. If you want to break through the massive, solid walls that trap you, dynamite is the answer. yes yes, you are in india, blah blah. anyone can send you a letter, surely you have friends out there. The question is: do you want to get out of jail, or do you prefer to stay inside? the answer is: b. when it's a, you'll get out of jail. You will spend maybe 1 or 2 years, and you will be free

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Posted (edited)

29 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

your problem is obvious. You are a prisoner of your ego. You're not going to get out of there in 3000 lifes without chemical help and you know it. for other people it is possible, they are in another point. they are going to meditate alone for 2 years, etc. you are at the opposite pole, as i was. If you want to break through the massive, solid walls that trap you, dynamite is the answer. yes yes, you are in india, blah blah. anyone can send you a letter, surely you have friends out there. The question is: do you want to get out of jail, or do you prefer to stay inside? the answer is: b. when it's a, you'll get out of jail. You will spend maybe 1 or 2 years, and you will be free

Holy shit dude, fuck off with your nonsense. I would ban you for this comment alone if I could. 

Edited by Nilsi

"We all must be, and can only be, a light unto ourselves."

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@Breakingthewall thanks bro. I always appreciate your comments on my threads. 

that being said..are you hinting at psychedelics?  Because I can't obtain them cuz they are illegal in India. And I don't know how to search for them in the dark web. I also don't want to get into legal issue. 

Anyways ..in my opinion The only way to reach enlightenment is to do so without drugs.

Enlightenment is not about knowing, seeing, experiencing. Enlightenment is about becoming.

Drugs help to see and experience, some people claim. Even if this were true, and I have no reason to believe it is, this drug-induced seeing and experiencing results in knowing. When it comes to enlightenment, the only way to become it is to not know it. Knowing is the biggest hurdle on the path to enlightenment.

Knowing what enlightenment is is the most effective way to prevent enlightenment. If drugs make one know what enlightenment is, then drugs prevent becoming enlightened.

When you truly experience enlightenment you realize that you are Infinite, Immortal Consciousness and that you always have been and always will be. You have never really been anything else. You have never really been a mortal, individual, personality, ego or human being. To experience this you must completely surrender this personality. You must dissolve into the Infinite, Immortal Sea of Consciousness that you are and always have been. You must do this as if nothing else matters. Nothing.


PM me If you want to have a conversation about existential shit.

 

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@Nilsi be respectful bro .


PM me If you want to have a conversation about existential shit.

 

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Just now, Someone here said:

@Nilsi be respectful bro .

I don't have respect for people that want to inflict harm on others. His brain is obviously fried and now he wants to drag others into his little hellhole. You don't need more psychedelics to destabilize your mind, you need to get your shit together and take responsibility for your life.


"We all must be, and can only be, a light unto ourselves."

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Hmm, have you taken the life purpose course? Have you read "Letting go" by David R Hawkins?


"I would rather be wrong, than live in the shadow of your song. Now my mind is open wide, and now I'm ready to Star(t)!" - Arcade Fire "Ready to Start"

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Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

@Breakingthewall

Anyways ..in my opinion The only way to reach enlightenment is to do so without drugs.

 

There's part of the problem. 

Psychedelics aren't really drugs. 

(trip at your own risk. You know yourself better than I do)

If you don't try them, you are keeping yourself stuck.

You know how I cured my depression recently? My apathy?

First of all, I meditate, do Qigong and contemplate every day/ week. Plus I work on my own business. 

But, I pulled myself out of a depression by doing a 2g mushroom trip. 2 weeks ago and I still feel better.

Your vastly limiting yourself to thinking that your depressed, apathetic state is akin to "being sober" you are not sober if you are chronically depressed and apathetic and full of grief and doubt. That is not being sober.

Build out your toolkit, and if you can... safely explore the whole buffet of techniques we discuss here.

 

And if you don't wanna trip from time to time in a safe way. Then, take action on your dreams. I think you are completely wrong that your love for philosophy can't go hand in and hand in business. So many businesses are willing to pay thousands if not 10s of thousands for applied philosophy in a business setting. You just have to make it valuable to people.

Edited by Thought Art

"I would rather be wrong, than live in the shadow of your song. Now my mind is open wide, and now I'm ready to Star(t)!" - Arcade Fire "Ready to Start"

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Posted (edited)

@Someone here

you do not understand, the same as @Nilsi . your ego is a solid energy pattern. you can give millions of mental laps that you are not going to break it. hardly anyone can ,and they live with it. other people, like you, can't. as neo in matrix, there is something that does not fit. people like nils will tell you their love stories and such without having the remotest idea that it is reality, what they are, but they have read some books, they study zen or whatever, and they have the need to believe that they already have. look at their posts. say something? zero. their problem has no solution, since they think they already have it, yours does, since you understand everything, but you cannot break the barrier that you are yourself. it is impossible! seriously, you're not ramana maharishi, neither am i, nor almost anyone. the barrier is steel, and it's you. The Indian thing is an excuse...if you want it, anyone sends you a letter, although I shouldn't say this, it's obvious. drugs are not to show you the truth, they are to show you the lie. the lie is you

Edited by Breakingthewall

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@Breakingthewall He doesn't need to completely deconstuct himself. He needs to get out of this apathetic state and take action. He needs to develop a vision, and set of habits and take action on solving his problems. 

The apathy here, is the illusion that needs shattering.


"I would rather be wrong, than live in the shadow of your song. Now my mind is open wide, and now I'm ready to Star(t)!" - Arcade Fire "Ready to Start"

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1 minute ago, Thought Art said:

@Breakingthewall He doesn't need to completely deconstuct himself. He needs to get out of this apathetic state and take action. He needs to develop a vision, and set of habits and take action on solving his problems. 

The apathy here, is the illusion that needs shattering.

I think that his ego is so heavy that it needs a bomb. I think that because i feel identify. You fall again and again in that patterns because you are enjailed in your mind. It's like a trap and it's almost impossible to scape. All your mental tricks to try to get free gets you more deeply in the jail, because you are trying to scape constructing more walls

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@Breakingthewall Sure, but you need right view. Can't just deconstruct all the walls. 


"I would rather be wrong, than live in the shadow of your song. Now my mind is open wide, and now I'm ready to Star(t)!" - Arcade Fire "Ready to Start"

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24 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@Breakingthewall Sure, but you need right view. Can't just deconstruct all the walls. 

In any moment you have to do, if you are in this work

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1 minute ago, JoeVolcano said:

Don't preach construction to people who are in a mode of deconstruction. Just let it go. 🙏 

I didn't preach construction.... anyway, he started a tread asking for opinions, and that's mine

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Posted (edited)

@JoeVolcano Are you being Saucy with me kiddo? xD

Try to be context aware.

OP doesn't need to know everything about Truth to start getting out of his apathy. 

It's probably more of a balance of letting go and picking up.

Edited by Thought Art

"I would rather be wrong, than live in the shadow of your song. Now my mind is open wide, and now I'm ready to Star(t)!" - Arcade Fire "Ready to Start"

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@Someone here view it as a stage in your life. Everybody will have depressed episodes in their life.

Accept the pain when you do your tasks. It will help tremendously.

Why it has to matter? Why is it bad that you dont have goals? 

Life is meaningless and there is nothing bad with it. I dont mean dont build goals, its somewhat important but dont take it too seriously.

You recognized your addictions, then go in baby steps towards improvement. You will feel bad that you do it slowly but if u go fast u ll just come back where u were

And again whats the big problem with having no gf and friends? I dont have too, its really a mindset how you think about it. Its a skill you can build up. It will be hard but its natural to feel like trash when you start it.

Again, a mistake u say uve tried almost everything.

The thing is that u dont try it few times but actually stick to it. 

 

The ultimate thing is self-deception. Realize this. You are deceiving yourself.

 You are mental masturbating. 

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