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About ShardMare

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  1. What its gotta tell
  2. @Vrubel yes exactly. U just concentrate so much. But at high levels how much do you concentrate after thousands of games?
  3. @Leo Gura exactly. they dont think that much at all. When i was a kid playing chess would get me in different consciousness states but after a certain level you just stop. Its boring. The same patterns show up. after 2000 elo or 1800 there is nothing more. Ok you can master the game but it doesnt require the thinking like it used to. When im watching hikaru on twitch hes playing the same moves, same games somewhat. Honestly just mixing up the whole starting pieces would be good. Also what i dont like is that when you play against high rated players they look away from the table trying to remember the line they studied. It does not requires thinking
  4. @jimwell I dont get it how do you explore ur childhood? How do you remember it? How do u do your own therapy?
  5. @Ulax idk i might be neurodivergent. Maybe asperger syndrome matches me on somewhat level but who knows? My psychiatrist doesnt really said i might be something like this. Sometimes im repeating words. Its kinda weird to hear but im making weird sounds in front of my brother. When i was in 5th grade and younger i used to play that im a cat and meow. But mostly i view these as a joke u kno. I have mostly the same routine.
  6. @integral yes i agree. I listen to everybody carefully and with a pinch of salt. @integral i agree with you there are problems with doctors. See i try to tackle my depression from many angles. Or i try so. My health is really good. The thinking is really good, i just realized my sh*t thinking patterns. The journaling i do, the goals i write, the principles i try to live by. I dont have a bad chilhood, traumas. I dont know where my depression comes from. So ive decided I try to be openminded and go to the doctor. First she prescribed easier stuff then we worked up to antidepressant. On the first day when i took antidepressant i felt really good, i laughed all day. I felt anxiety but also i guess my real self.
  7. @jimwell there are people who say antidepressant saved their lives. If i know well the average patients takes it for few years or months then with the help of the doctor they decrease the dose gradually. There are people who have other illnesses and have to take their pill everyday whats the problem with that?
  8. @Ulax ive already looked into it. It didnt help me @puporing @integral but what if i just have imbalance in my brains chemistry Its not always psychology
  9. Im trying to figure out whats still keeping me depressed. Recently watched a video on dr.k yt channel. I feel as like i should be feelig more. Ive started to consume less dopamine. Im going to gym everyday, meditating,perfect diet, fapping every 2nd week. Also I think i will ask my psych to also raise my antidepressant intake I started to pay attention more,accept more pain, most of the day i feel depressed and i feel it. What will happen if i keep feeling suffering? Will i get an insight. Be able to laugh more or help on my depression? What do u think
  10. You already know the answers to your questions. Or have ideas at least. Yes im assuming. Man u wrote lots of posts. I also realized within myself that there are questions that i asked anf then i got answers but didnt do nothing. Fix ur shit. Go out and socialize dont mental masturbate. Im not negative or trying to hurt u. This is how i see this.
  11. @Knowledge Hoarder imo u have good points and also really meaningless points u just made. Yes for you its good. There are depressed people who instead of spirituality should focus on stage orange stuff. Just make money get laid get successful. Ur right. But dont be closedminded that spirituality wont bring happiness etc. And also who says that we are losers? Etc. Listen to teachers and also listen to yourself. If one is missing its bad. Go on make money, you are doing good.
  12. I think there are more than 20% viewers that are ill. But ofc maybe its just projection. For me it seems weird because what psychologists and psychiatrists do is so much little. Yes i havent visited a lot of them. Imo the techniques they offer are not the most efficient. I think Leos content made me so much aware and just how my mind works.
  13. @Bando but what is the problem with it? I dont understand. I dont understand the pill game. I think dating boils down to personality and game. But i also think its really hard to get girl when ur not that attractive
  14. How do you debunk that he is wrong?
  15. @Someone here how did this insight came to u? How long have u been chasing money, sex and fame? Or have u?