Blackhawk

The moment when you should get most worried..

57 posts in this topic

3 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Blackhawk @snowyowl well, i talked only from my experience. perhaps there are other nuances and I am speaking with too much certainty about a topic that is broader. 

Me too only talking from my own limited experience.  If I knew the answer to all this I'd pack in my office job and get out there helping people with it   :)


Relax, it's just my loosely held opinion.  :) 

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If someone followed this advice, it's a bit paradoxical, cause then they'll never be happy lol

 


"God is not a conclusion, it is a sudden revelation. When you see a rose it is not that you go through a logical solipsism, "This is a rose, and roses are beautiful, so this must be beautiful." The moment you see it, the head stops spinning thoughts. On the contrary, your heart starts beating faster. It is something totally different from the idea of truth." -Osho

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Really wish my parents wouldn't be alive right now. So I could end this life.

Right now..

It's the only thing that's stopping me. A thin line. Some more years and then they will die, and then I can die too.

But I could do it before too. I was pretty close now.

Edited by Blackhawk

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@Blackhawk bro..death is no joke . You don't know what you're getting yourself into.  Seek professional help ASAP.  You MUST visit a psychiatrist and be put under antidepressants .

Be careful what thoughts you put in your mind . You attract what you think about  .if you keep ruminating about death you will eventually end up actually committing suicide. That's the last place you want to be into .Trust me . I was suicidal and depressed for the majority of my life .but with taking antidepressants and working on my life purpose I got out of that dull state.  You can too. I believe in you. 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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20 minutes ago, Someone here said:

You don't know what you're getting yourself into. 

You don't know either.

20 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Trust me

Haha. And why exactly would I do that? It's not like you are some fucking magic wizard who knows better than me. Give me a break..

Edited by Blackhawk

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@Blackhawk you are not open to advice and help.  You make these kinds of threads and then when someone offers help you just reject it and use deflection and toxic skepticism to refute any attempt that is trying to help .

Trust me because I myself was in your place one day .and I know it fucking sucks and nothing makes sense when you are in this mindspace.  

Are you at least open to the possibility that you can change your life to the better and conquer your depression and your problems with getting laid? Or are you completely hopeless and don't want anyone to help you  ? Because if it's the second one then I don't understand what's the point of starting these kinds of threads over and over again if you are not willing to take advice from people seriously? 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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@Someone here Would you prefer that I kill myself in silence? That I'm a unrecorded case who no one has ever heard of? So no one learns anything about human suffering? The silent suffering people killing themselves all over the world while only the extrovert, awesome, successful, and happy people can be heard?

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6 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Would you prefer that I kill myself in silence? 

No .I don't recommend you killing yourself at all. Whether its in silence or not .

I sympathise with you 

Look...No matter how much pain you’re experiencing right now, you’re not alone. Many of us have had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. But with time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.

Some of the finest, most admired, needed, and talented people have been where you are now. Many of us have thought about taking our own lives when we’ve felt overwhelmed by depression and devoid of all hope. But the pain of depression can be treated and hope can be renewed.

No matter what your situation, there are people who need you, places where you can make a difference, and experiences that can remind you that life is worth living. It takes real courage to face death and step back from the brink. You can use that courage to face life, to learn coping skills for overcoming depression, and for finding the strength to keep going. Remember:

Your emotions are not fixed ...they are constantly changing. How you feel today may not be the same as how you felt yesterday or how you’ll feel tomorrow or next week.

Your absence would create grief and anguish in the lives of friends and loved ones.

There are many things you can still accomplish in your life.

There are sights, sounds, and experiences in life that have the ability to delight and lift you and that you would miss.

Your ability to experience pleasurable emotions is equal to your ability to experience distressing emotions.

 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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@Someone here Of course you don't recommend someone of your fellow specie to committ suicide, that would endanger your specie. How animalic of you.

Pretty much the only two things you are right about is that two people would get sad if I would committ suicide. And that emotions are changing. But the negative emotions outweigh the positive ones for me.

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On 6/10/2022 at 6:58 AM, thisintegrated said:

You were saying anyone is free to talk to you.  But you attack anyone who comes close.

Well he did talk to me. Guess someone is falling in love and not suicidal anymore. Maybe ask for confirmation if you please. Wink. He loves me and he is not a simp, plus plus. He didn't need to simp.

 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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@Blackhawk

You remind me of my ex. I think what you need is someone to come along side you and shower you with unconditional love and support. 

That's what I did for my ex for 6 years and he was able to shift. Now he's just not very nice instead of deeply depressed,  but he is a inspired, motivated,  asshole. 


???????

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@Proserpina But yeah, that's my weird way of saying I like you. You have a beautiful energy. You can talk to me anytime. 

Edited by Proserpina

???????

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Today I woke up in the night and remembered this conversation. I thought: it would be normal for all people to be in the emotional state of the guy of the thread. human love is rare, false, an empty hope more than anything else. people are alone mentally enslaving each other. everyone is looking for love, some in the family, others in money, sex, success, drugs. all the while fleeing loneliness only to find falsehood. a trap. true human love exists but most people are not capable of it. for this we have to flatten the ego, and the tendency is the opposite. in interactions with others you basically find falsehood, selfishness and emptiness. but everyone seems so happy and active, all donkeys chasing the carrot. The only way is to deepen. 

Edited by Breakingthewall

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I'm sorry you guys @Blackhawk @Breakingthewall I get what you mean and have been there (and can still go there at times). It's that hyper awareness of what's going on around you and the lack of warmth in general with the current state we're in.

But you can choose to have faith that development is generally going to trend towards higher consciousness and increasing Love over time (and it has been). It's a hell of a grind both individually and collectively. Do you want to take on this challenge of both developing yourself to that ideal you seek and to be of aid in the process of the collective becoming such? That's the real call when you're in this kind of deep suicidal depression. And accepting the call takes alot of courage and Love from within you which first you must find ways to fill to a decent baseline. So I'm not saying it's easy to do. 

Edited by puporing

I am Lord of Heaven, Second Coming of Jesus Christ. ❣ Warning: nobody here has reached the true God.

         ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ♪ 星空のディスタンス ♫┆彡 what are you dreaming today?

                           天国が来る | 私は道であり、真実であり、命であり。

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7 hours ago, Proserpina said:

 

You remind me of my ex. I think what you need is someone to come along side you and shower you with unconditional love and support. 

Yes.

Thanks all :)

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3 hours ago, puporing said:

I'm sorry you guys @Blackhawk @Breakingthewall I get what you mean and have been there (and can still go there at times). It's that hyper awareness of what's going on around you and the lack of warmth in general with the current state we're in.

I'm not depressed at all and hardly ever have been. mine has been more compulsion, projecting forward, donkey with carrot, etc. now it is easy for me to stick to the present, dissolve the barriers and feel the moment, so my life is mostly happy, but even so, life is more beautiful with true selfless human love, and it is something that is very difficult to find, to give,  Because mostly of people are too stupid, too closed. But we shouldn't give up

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