Illusory Self

My current situation in life

9 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

People have unfortunate upbringings which largely affect how there ego identity is formed, people get depressed being in isolation, People feel isolated ect.. I spend most of my time not interacting with anyone & have spend the last 10 or so years doing that (currently turned 26 around a month ago). I have watched almost all of Leo's videos, some even multiple times but I regress, often on a weekly basis. Sometimes I think I am just doomed becuase I suffer from severe depression but at the same time I want to improve. 

I have a habit tracking app that says, "don't drink alcohol" "meditate" "do nofap" "brain training" "kegels", basically certain things that I want to accomplish but every week or so I regress, I end up laying in bed for 1-3 days doing nothing, feeling hopeless about my life. If I fail one habit I may as well fail all of them. I think the worst is when it comes to the weekend. In my own mind I am like "I need to socialize more, get better with women when it comes the weekend" as I have no friends or noone I talk to.. but when it happens I go out & get extreme feelings of unworthiness that I feel physically incapable of talking to anyone. When people talk to me, I proactively try to cut the convo short... because I just say what is the point... This is a weekly occurence... After that night I feel so much worse that I lay in bed for multiple days wasting time on my phone.. I don't know how to fix my situation... is it my subconscious,my karma? nothing seems to change in this life.. I feel scared of expressing myself but I have 5 goals in mind that I want to achieve. 

1. Become a millionaire by the time I am 30 (currently 26)

2. Get maximum muscle mass

3. Get amazing social/dating skills 

4. Find my LP

5. Reach maximum levels of consciousness

 

I don't know where to start or how to achieve these goals, I want to get my survival needs met first. Currently my money & dating situation is vey bad

 

 

Edited by Illusory Self

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Failure being fatal came from a few of places inside me.

If I am on a downward spiral in mood and looking for an excuse to retract. Like you say isolate. - People rarely understand this but I do very well. Its a natural push and pull depending on my daily experiences and focus.

If I felt the identity I had created was threatened beyond the point of repair.
Less so these days but it still happens if I want an employer to think of me as reliable or hardworking, and something comes up to threaten that for example.

If I am expectant to see results over a period of time and don't see them.
If I put a lot of work in and get nowhere over a long period, several months or even a year, eventually a few more failures will push me over the edge to giving up on the idea.

It might be a good idea to actually answer what the point of some of these things are, write them down, make a note of them, and learn them for yourself. Get good genuine reasons for doing them that are not easily shaken, and that will persist for some time. Put them on your wall, a noteboard or a whiteboard to remind you when the day is frustrating.

Consider, what’s the point of any communication, of meeting new people, or each of your goals?  Don’t cut the question short. Get a very long list.

That’s where i'd start

1) Get reasons clear in your mind in front of you under your goals.
2) Role model someone successful. At the start you are a newbie, go look for teachers or instructors under each goal.
3) Adapt. Work out what’s working, and remove what isn’t.
4) Keep going, get new reasons for doing so.

I am great at instigating and starting things, someone else will hopefully be along with better with the longer-term advice. Some of those teachers or rolemodels for each goal for example!

To get you started for your goal number 1. I used to listen to Robert Kiyosaki, Brian Tracy, and Tony Robbins. Try to take advice piecemeal, don’t lose yourself in any one strategy, personality or philosophy. Its got to come from you in the end, these are just people that help you adjust your way of thinking on certain financial issues.

Good luck, hope it helps.

Edited by BlueOak

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Did you build those habits one at a time? Or try to install them at the same time? 
 

Always build habits one at a time. At a pace you know you can sustain long term.


Music is Love in disguise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

@Illusory Self you have a shitty ego, very dysfunctional. this is a very serious challenge and it can easily end in disaster, I mean, chronic depression, loneliness, being a bitter old man who doesn't find the courage to commit suicide... you know, at 26 you are a promise, at 46, a disappointment, and at 20 years go by fast. In my opinion, in your situation, in which I feel identified in the past, you have to be very, very serious. Go to transcendence, enlightenment . you have a nice puzzle ahead, but watch out! we are not playing here. The consequences of laziness, lack of insight, or simple bad luck, are the disaster. we are at war, not playing. 

If you need any help, I'm glad to try to contribute my grain. I understand what is at stake

Edited by Breakingthewall

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Learn how to make SMART goals - https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/smart-goals.htm

To achieve your goals they have to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time Bound

To be a millionaire by the time you're 30 is probably not achievable so it's not a good goal. You have to make $333,333 per year for the next 3 years. Have you ever even made $100,000 in a year? Or $50,000?

If you lay in bed for days at a time and don't currently have a job at all, then a goal of making $10,000/year at a part-time job or $30,000/year full-time is already a huge improvement. If you want to start a business, just focus on earning your first $1. Because once you can make $1, then all you have to do is repeat it 1,000,000 times!

Maximum muscle mass isn't a good goal because... what does MAXIMUM mean? You want to be the #1 most muscular person in the world? It'll be a full-time job and will require steroids. Google a picture of Rich Piana and look at how big his arms are. Now realize that he isn't even the most muscular man in the world (and also that he's dead as a result of his weightlifting lifestyle). You want to look bigger than THAT? Why don't you start with a goal like increasing your bicep size by 1 inch per year by lifting X reps of X pounds in X exercise X number of times per week?

Amazing social/dating skills is not specific enough. What would that actually look like for you? Do you want to get better fashion? Do you want to be able to hold better conversations, to make people laugh more?

Maximum levels of consciousness again is a "be careful what you wish for" situation. If you really had maximum consciousness you'd no longer have an ego, you'd no longer be able to have a human experience. Money, muscle, and dating wouldn't even matter any more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 22/05/2022 at 9:20 PM, Illusory Self said:

People have unfortunate upbringings which largely affect how there ego identity is formed, people get depressed being in isolation, People feel isolated

Weird how none of Leo Gura or Michael Jackson came here and commented “There is no people .. There is only yooooou, you are God” ?


Truth you don't find. Truth finds you. Sooner or later. What you then do, no one knows. If you knew, it would already have found you."

~waveintheocean

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Focus said:

Weird how none of Leo Gura or Michael Jackson came here and commented “There is no people .. There is only yooooou, you are God” ?

Which is true because you are God and you can do all of the stuff you listed or you can’t do them and keep doing your addictions anyway, your choices. 


Truth you don't find. Truth finds you. Sooner or later. What you then do, no one knows. If you knew, it would already have found you."

~waveintheocean

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Depression is hard.. It's the first time in my life that I am experiencing something in this direction along with insomnia and I can relate to how stuck one can get from depression. It is is vicious circle of underachieving and getting demotivated and feeling bad about oneself. 

For your goals I would like to give you one practical advise, with which it is easier to feel happy about pursuing your goals. Instead of saying " I will do X every morning for eternity" - a bet you will most certainly loose at some point, leading to disappointment and maybe the loss of other habits, Instead of that I use a challenge system. So if you do a certain habit for one week, you are successful. You then have to decide if you want to continue or if you want stop and be happy about how long you managed to keep a habit. If you continue the next milestone is always twice as far, so that you quickly get to bigger goals (so this means: 1 week, 2 week, 1 month, 2 month, 4 month, 8 month, 1,5 years etc.). At the end if would note to which stage you manage to get (you can also give the stages a cool name, such as Spartan 1, Spartan 2, etc.) so you can feel happy about that instead of disapointed that you didn't manage to do habit X for eternity. 


unconditional   love   ,   but   no   unconditional   relationships

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Instead of building muscle mass why don't you focus on calisthenics. Like for example, mastering handstand pushups or a one arm pullup. Not only will you learn a rare skill, you will be gaining muscle which is proportional to your body weight, giving you the natural gymnastics physique.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now