Why do I think that I'm dumb/foolish and what can be done about it?

[hyruga]

You are at the 'Conscious Incompetent' stage. 

Remember, our ego will always believe we are better and will tell us that we have already reached the higher stages but in reality, most of us are still in very low stages in most developmental models.

[Preety_India]

On 17/01/2022 at 11:02 PM, DManKee said:

When I read this it made me really sad. I'm really sorry that you've been in abusive relationships. You're probably an extreme empath which is why you stayed for so long in a relationship that didn't serve you. I think this is an amazing quality empathy. Of all the people I've ever met it's the empaths who have had the biggest impact on my life. These people who I've had the incredible luck of meeting have helped me become a kinder, more loving and understanding individual. More than any measure of intelligence it's qualities such as empathy and kindness that I see value in.

Like SQUAAD was saying there is no such thing as intelligence. We are all good at some things and terrible at others (no point moping about it). Know that you are loved by the people in your life for being exactly who you are. You are loved by this community. You've given solid advice and hope to hundreds of people on this forum. You're NOT dumb.

Loads of hugs! ♥️

Thank you so much. 

 

[Preety_India]

On 17/01/2022 at 11:11 PM, mandyjw said:

The more thoughts we have about ourselves, the harder it is to see clearly. For example if I'm giving a speech and I'm thinking about how dumb my sweater looks and what others might think of it rather than the topic of my speech, I'm not going to do a good job with the speech. It's not that I'm not intelligent, it's that my focus was on myself rather than where I wanted it to be. We aren't dumb, we just get in our own way. Even wondering whether or not we are inherently intelligent is the same as worrying about the sweater rather than focusing on speaking. It's such a relief to know that you're unconditionally ok. Thoughts about you are never the real you. It's like a murky dark slide put on a projector. You aren't the projection from the light on the wall, you're the pure light that allows the projector to project. That's just how bright you really are. ❤ Thoughts about ourselves that feel bad are the dark slide covering the projector's light. Intelligence and wisdom is so much of an overarching, forgiving, inherently beautiful "thing" than we can ever think of it as, just like you. 

But what happens when you consistently make bad choices and decisions in life? 

Like I made many bad decisions in life. It reached a point where I asked myself -" why I can't do things right?" 

My peers never made such mistakes. They're living comfortable lives meanwhile I'm dealing with all the damage from my past mistakes. So I began to question my intelligence. 

I was always slower than my peers in most things. I was always got duped wherever I went, whether it was my job or relationships. I got duped many times, even financially. 

That made me wonder if I need to take personal responsibility for such occurrences and realize that I might be a bit naive to easily trust others and not prioritize myself. 

It's almost like I always needed a coach to tell me what to do. 

I mean we do come across naive gullible people in life, this is just a fact of life, if you look around, not everyone becomes a victim of a crime, not everyone joins a cult. But the people who are most likely to become victims of anything in life are the most gullible, naive people who lack critical reasoning and intelligence to question things, skills needed to make quick self protective decisions that are necessary in most survival oriented situations.. 

So yea I clearly see that some people are clever and smarter than others whereas people like me are very prone to making mistakes, being silly, acting stupid, being immature, not having the skill to make the right decision, gullibility, always messing up and ending up in some trouble out of being duped. 

This shit bothers me because I have suffered so much harm and damage due to constantly acting naive and dumb that it has made me to think that something needs to change, something needs to be done so that I don't end up with the same pattern in the future. 

 

[mandyjw]

@Preety_India That's just not how I see things. I see people who use their intelligence selfishly to take advantage of others as the most naïve people of all. Whoever throws away love and understanding in favor of power over others and reliance on their own reasoning is ignoring and cut off from their true infinite intelligence. It's far, FAR more naïve than doing something like choosing 100 pennies over 10 million dollars because you know 100 is more than 10. Infinite intelligence knows no separation. How naïve! How perfect. 

[Sucuk Ekmek]

After you wake up immidately write down your dream on a paper or phone whatever. Anything happens more than once is not a  coincidence.

If you have patience I suggest you to examine this dream exploration I think there is a likeness between you and her;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khMkW4aAXCE&list=PLp6rnhCy8Xkqkb4_SuxTWfMv6FG-Mx_wc&index=12

[mojsterr]

On 17/01/2022 at 1:29 PM, itachi uchiha said:

Kriya yoga removed 80% of my negetive thoughts.i was getting amazing intoxicating states  bigger than sex for hours daily.within 1 year i forgot what depression looked like. And i was having depression every since i got memmory from childhood

I already meditate 1 hour a day. But this is the second time today I see you mentioning this yoga. I'd like to give it a go.

Do I lose anything if I substitute my meditation practise with this yoga, or should just add this on top of the meditation?

[mojsterr]

On 19/01/2022 at 4:30 AM, Preety_India said:

But what happens when you consistently make bad choices and decisions in life? 

Like I made many bad decisions in life. It reached a point where I asked myself -" why I can't do things right?" 

My peers never made such mistakes. They're living comfortable lives meanwhile I'm dealing with all the damage from my past mistakes. So I began to question my intelligence. 

I was always slower than my peers in most things. I was always got duped wherever I went, whether it was my job or relationships. I got duped many times, even financially. 

That made me wonder if I need to take personal responsibility for such occurrences and realize that I might be a bit naive to easily trust others and not prioritize myself. 

It's almost like I always needed a coach to tell me what to do. 

I mean we do come across naive gullible people in life, this is just a fact of life, if you look around, not everyone becomes a victim of a crime, not everyone joins a cult. But the people who are most likely to become victims of anything in life are the most gullible, naive people who lack critical reasoning and intelligence to question things, skills needed to make quick self protective decisions that are necessary in most survival oriented situations.. 

So yea I clearly see that some people are clever and smarter than others whereas people like me are very prone to making mistakes, being silly, acting stupid, being immature, not having the skill to make the right decision, gullibility, always messing up and ending up in some trouble out of being duped. 

This shit bothers me because I have suffered so much harm and damage due to constantly acting naive and dumb that it has made me to think that something needs to change, something needs to be done so that I don't end up with the same pattern in the future. 

 

I didn't read the whole topic yet, but do you also have low self-esteem?

I have similar thougths about myself and it hurt my self-esteem very much. So I decided to work on that, rather than trying to be smarter.

 

Also, what you think about, you attract. If you constantly feel you're slow/you will get taken advantage of/etc... Then those things will constantly be happening to you. You have to change you thought patterns. Relearn how you see yourself and always imagine how everyone sees you as strong, charismatic, unshakable... Really visualize it in your head until it becomes a part of you.

This is what I am working now in my life. I found Neville Goddard and I try to apply the things I wish for through his teachings, for example.

[Preety_India]

Just now, mojsterr said:

I didn't read the whole topic yet, but do you also have low self-esteem?

I have similar thougths about myself and it hurt my self-esteem very much. So I decided to work on that, rather than trying to be smarter.

 

Also, what you think about, you attract. If you constantly feel you're slow/you will get taken advantage of/etc... Then those things will constantly be happening to you. You have to change you thought patterns. Relearn how you see yourself and always imagine how everyone sees you as strong, charismatic, unshakable... Really visualize it in your head until it becomes a part of you.

This is what I am working now in my life. I found Neville Goddard and I try to apply the things I wish for through his teachings, for example.

Hmm. I don't think it's a self esteem issue. 

It's just a sad realization that I have low IQ in social matters. 

I was a high scorer in class. But I was and am dumb in social things. And I got scammed a lot and taken advantage of many times. 

So when I saw that my friends were smarter in similar situations, I realized that I am dumb. 

I don't think it's a bad thing to know that I'm so dumb. It's helpful actually because it means I'll be more cautious in the future and try to improve my brain in this area. 

If I would have never known that I'm dumb, I probably would have stayed dumb forever. 

I think realizing one's weaknesses and admitting those weaknesses frankly and openly is a huge opportunity for self growth and self correction and that shouldn't be missed. 

I think everyone should have a SELF WEAKNESS ASSESSMENT exercise. So they can improve themselves before it gets too late. 

 

 

[mojsterr]

5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Hmm. I don't think it's a self esteem issue. 

It's just a sad realization that I have low IQ in social matters. 

I was a high scorer in class. But I was and am dumb in social things. And I got scammed a lot and taken advantage of many times. 

So when I saw that my friends were smarter in similar situations, I realized that I am dumb. 

I don't think it's a bad thing to know that I'm so dumb. It's helpful actually because it means I'll be more cautious in the future and try to improve my brain in this area. 

If I would have never known that I'm dumb, I probably would have stayed dumb forever. 

I think realizing one's weaknesses and admitting those weaknesses frankly and openly is a huge opportunity for self growth and self correction and that shouldn't be missed. 

I think everyone should have a SELF WEAKNESS ASSESSMENT exercise. So they can improve themselves before it gets too late. 

 

 

Since I have similar issues as you, it pains me to listen how you talk. I know you say it's just you self assesing yourself, but your words have tremendous power still. I would say start working on this and the world around you (and also you) will change. This is my whole life mission now.

Perhaps it might not be the kind of answer you wanted to hear, but this is what I truly believe.

 

Wayne Dyer says it way better than me:

 

[mojsterr]

Instead of saying "I'm dumb" rather say "I'm not smart enough YET". Try to spin it around. That way you subconsciously push your self forward, to expand, instead of putting yourself down.

 

 

Edit: I try not to put my attention to the negatives. I feel the same as you about myself, but I said I won't put up with this shit anymore, so I'm changing it around. It's a long process, but I'm getting there. Suddenly situations come when I come out as smart, and I feel good about myself. Or because of my positive actions I actually learn something that is needed of me, rather than passing the opportunity with saying "Oh I'm just dumb".

Edited March 8, 2022 by mojsterr

[hyruga]

4 hours ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

After you wake up immidately write down your dream on a paper or phone whatever. Anything happens more than once is not a  coincidence.

If you have patience I suggest you to examine this dream exploration I think there is a likeness between you and her;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khMkW4aAXCE&list=PLp6rnhCy8Xkqkb4_SuxTWfMv6FG-Mx_wc&index=12

Why you revive this post? Maybe ms preety doesn't feel this way anymore.

**

Well, the reason likely Is because you self sabotage despite knowing you should not do something. It could be due to a trauma or due to lacking belief in oneself. 

Take for eg everyone knows he should not drink that can of coke. One should not smoke. One should exercise. But why don't he do that? Because he has poor self control. So ultimately, he self sabotage.

 

[Sucuk Ekmek]

13 minutes ago, hyruga said:

Why you revive this post? Maybe ms preety doesn't feel this way anymore.

**

Well, the reason likely Is because you self sabotage despite knowing you should not do something. It could be due to a trauma or due to lacking belief in oneself. 

Take for eg everyone knows he should not drink that can of coke. One should not smoke. One should exercise. But why don't he do that? Because he has poor self control. So ultimately, he self sabotage.

 

 Didn't meant to revive this post, just saw something and did something. It wasn't intentional, maybe it was I don't know... Maybe ms preety still feel this way?

**

Well, I did it and I take the responsibility.

Everyone knows he should not suicide, guess what he does it anyways.

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

Maybe ms preety still feel this way?

Well I still feel this way. Actually thanks for reviving the post. 

 

[Chrisd]

Maybe develop clear idea's about how human relationships should work, and then enforce them in your life. In a non-violent way  

Edited March 8, 2022 by Chrisd

[Loba]

You're both, we have strengths and weaknesses.
Very few people are fully dumb and foolish, and it is something that can be worked on.  Weaknesses are just areas where we don't have a lot of awareness.  Like... I have Asperger's so I will never be super socially aware.  I'm socially dumb.  I'm working on it.  Be aware of your weaknesses and always seek to grow them, but don't view yourself as less or put yourself down.  Remember, treat your weaknesses like babies, or little seedlings, you're just growing them.  We can't literally all be perfect at everything, it isn't possible, but the more you round yourself out, the better you will feel.  It's up to you to decide where and what you wanna work on, and treat it like an awesome fun project!  'Cause it is!  Growing a new tree!

Let me put it this way - I know I have a temper, and I am working on it.  I am dumb and foolish in the department of managing my emotions and am growing a strong tree by being aware and honest with myself and some days I fall back, but most days it gets better and stronger, and if I fall back and act like an ass, I just journal and look into why - and keep going.  

We all have areas we need to grow, you're not different or unexceptional just for having some areas you want to work on.  Plus, you've been doing great, you're doing better, keep it up, don't put yourself down.

 

Edited March 8, 2022 by Loba

[Preety_India]

@Loba true. I am trying not to make dumb mistakes anymore. One way is to avoid it, is to listen to the gut instinct if my brain is not being logical. 

[hyruga]

9 hours ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

 Didn't meant to revive this post, just saw something and did something. It wasn't intentional, maybe it was I don't know... Maybe ms preety still feel this way?

**

 

That's cool.

I was just learning to be more of a jackass. That's why I like to ask such questions.

**

Take full responsibility for your life. Isn't this the solution? 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, A_v_E said:

the real question is 
how can you be more intelligent than yourself ?

By doing the following 

• Read read read. Lots of information that we never bother to read 
• Learn from past mistakes 
• Ask ask ask. Be skeptical and critical and don't take things at face value. Like if someone told me that they are going to help me, don't blindly believe it. Don't blindly believe anything. 
• Test test test. Test your ideas and beliefs in reality. Is reality aligned to what you think of it? Is your lover a lover or a backstabber? 
• Think think think. Think about whatever is going on. Sit and analyze as much as possible to understand the situation through and through. 
• Don't use too much emotion
• Judge Judge Judge. Learn to judge a Situation/person fairly and correctly. Do not be lazy. Don't take anything for granted. 
• Learn from other's experiences and mistakes 
• Get all sorts of experiences in life. Explore. Sitting in a house doesn't improve intelligence 
• Learn to challenge your own beliefs and biases. But don't go overboard 
• Be honest with yourself and never be in denial. Critical thinking. Come out of bubble 
• Set boundaries to bullshit. 
• Don't live in lala land. Most important 
• Don't put too much trust. It is dangerous. 
• Learn to develop foresight. Imagine both good and bad scenarios and be prepared for the worst. 
• If something doesn't feel right then discuss the situation with someone either friends or an online forum. Others opinions will bring new perspectives you never thought of. 
• Be updated about what's happening in the world 
• Don't jump to a conclusion. First observe. Analyze. Your conclusion should align with your observations
• Observe observe observe. Keep observing everyone and everything around you. 
• Rely on your gut instinct 
• Be decisive and be cautious. Don't be vague
• Act urgently when needed 
• Don't assume the best of everyone or everything 
• Don't take everything lightly or don't ignore. If you see signs then watch out for more. Every sign is an indicator. Study study study. Take every situation/behavior seriously. Don't ignore it. Don't wait till the end plays out 
• Develop awareness. Keep yourself aware of what's going on around you and within you 
• Gather information and keep gathering and learning things. Learning new skills help to increase intellectual productivity. It sharpens your brain and thinking. It makes you witty and quick. It makes you prepared. 
• Learn to prioritize on what is beneficial to you and what is not. Sort your priorities. 
• Talk to a ton of people. The more you talk the more you learn and your intellectual growth gets a big boost. Guaranteed you won't stay dumb if you talk to people, just the act of communication fires the brain to think dynamically, it shapes your brain muscle to gain new perspectives and you get better at wisdom and proficiency. You'll become an expert in no time. 
• And do not give up. If you think you are dumb, there is hope, there is sunshine. One day you won't make dumb decisions anymore. One day you'll be Wiser and smarter than your natural capability, people will be amazed and surprised at your change and progress. Being dumb is a disease. It lags us. It prevents us from our best life. Work on your intellectual health and growth and this disease will slowly get defeated. You won't stay dumb anymore if you keep progressing on intellectual growth. Even the dumbest persons will slowly get smarter than the smartest by putting more effort to be as reasonable and intelligent as possible. But this doesn't happen just like that, you have to put effort to always think and do things intelligently 

 

 

[mojsterr]

15 hours ago, hyruga said:

I was just learning to be more of a jackass.

 

Funny thing is that this what I wanted to do for myself. I put so much effort in spirituality and also I always played the nice guy in life, that I came to a halt and wanted to take back everything that I've missed in my younger years.

I wanted to say fuck to spirituality and start being more dumb, selfish, and a jackass to people. Just to live through it. To open some hidden parts of me that I had been supressing.

Well it's not easy. I don't really know if I want to be a jackass on purpose, but I do want to be a simple man who makes mistakes.

Basically I just need to start always saying what I feel. But it's a long journey if you were always a people pleaser.

 

[Hello from Russia]

I don't think ur dumb

You seem to have very developed intuitive cognition, probably over developed even

You're pisces after all, embrace it 

But part of it I might assume that your body might be somewhat dirty from living in India for so long. I mean things like pollution and heavy metals. I'm sure it is very hard not to get polluted here, so it's probably a big factor as well

Reading would help you a lot I'm sure, but also some active independent thinking as in journal can boost your mind as a rocket launching into space

Don't feel as less though by any means. You will have your unique different kind of intelligence which will be different from other people and it's wonderful. You don't want to be as everybody anyways

Edited March 9, 2022 by Hello from Russia