Dealing with serious performance anxiety

[Dlavjr]

I'm a music major at a community college, and I consider myself to be a pretty damn good guitar player and singer, and have been told I am by many others. Yesterday, however, the time came for mu performance jury for the end of the semester, and I crashed and burned hard. I felt like I blacked out halfway, my leg kept bouncing and I got real shakey, possibly having a very minor panic attack. 

This extends past just music performance, though. I get just as nervous when having sex with a woman for the first couple times. Once I get comfortable, I'm fine and I can perform at my best, but for whatever reason I cannot control my anxiety. It doesnt matter how big or small it is, if I am doing something and people are watching or I'm aiming to showcase what I'm capable of, my brain shuts down and I panic. 

I try meditation, I try breathing slowly and clearing my mind, but for whatever reason the moments right before and just as I'm starting to perform I start shaking with anxiety and my breath gets short and I can't stop it. 

Besides further meditation and exposure, what can I do to combat this? 

[PurpleTree]

i can relate

failed the drivers licence and many other tests because i was nervous from being observed

we care too much what others think

i get nervous when some one watches "too closely"

for short term solution you can try wim hof breathing or benzos (only once in a while, they're addictive)

Edited December 11, 2021 by PurpleTree

[Nahm]

Realize you have never actually experienced what other people think. Only your thoughts about it, and that is what you’re experiencing & feeling. 

[Farnaby]

@Dlavjr performance anxiety (or any kind of anxiety) = your nervous system is in fight/flight. Check out the Polyvagal Theory and develop a practice of tools that calm your nervous system and bring it back to a regulated state.

You can't think your way out of this, so any advice that says "stop caring so much about what other people think" isn't going to be very helpful or could potentially make you feel like something's wrong with you, which isn't true.

Your nervous system is detecting a potential threat and it's reacting like it is designed to. You need to show it (not tell it) that you're not in danger and that is done by changing your physiology so your body relaxes and your brain receives the message "Dlavjr is safe in this moment".

[Breakingthewall]

 may be you present a different face to others than you present yourself, for having received criticism in childhood, etc. When they look at you closely, that distortion creates great anxiety, to be discovered. equalize both faces and you will be free

[Flowerfaeiry]

Anxiety is your body’s way of telling you you have so much goodness to come out that you can hardly contain it. 
 

So when it comes to being on stage you have anxiety because you have so much of yourself that is just bubbling to the surface. 
 

Try movement. Like jumping around, moving your arms up and down, going for a brisk walk and taking deep breaths. Try to have the mindset of working with your anxiety not trying to get rid of it. 

[Gregory1]

On 11.12.2021 at 4:38 PM, Dlavjr said:

I'm a music major at a community college, and I consider myself to be a pretty damn good guitar player and singer, and have been told I am by many others. Yesterday, however, the time came for mu performance jury for the end of the semester, and I crashed and burned hard. I felt like I blacked out halfway, my leg kept bouncing and I got real shakey, possibly having a very minor panic attack. 

This extends past just music performance, though. I get just as nervous when having sex with a woman for the first couple times. Once I get comfortable, I'm fine and I can perform at my best, but for whatever reason I cannot control my anxiety. It doesnt matter how big or small it is, if I am doing something and people are watching or I'm aiming to showcase what I'm capable of, my brain shuts down and I panic. 

I try meditation, I try breathing slowly and clearing my mind, but for whatever reason the moments right before and just as I'm starting to perform I start shaking with anxiety and my breath gets short and I can't stop it. 

Besides further meditation and exposure, what can I do to combat this? 

I know this. The trick to solve this "problem" is understanding:

Fighting the problem creates it. Looking at it quietly without judgement removes it.

Next time you have sex and get nervous, don't judge yourself. Instead, look at your nervousness without needing it to go away. Be funny about it: "look girl, you're fucking hot I can't even control myself I'm shaking"

Or when performing: Stop trying to fight it. When nervousness arises, watch it and stop judging it, while watching continue your act.

The more you expose yourself to the situations that make you nervous, and the more you talk about and expose the nervousness to the public / other people, the quicker it will go away. One day it will be gone forever.

Quick fixes I know of for being fearless temorarily (when you need to perform well); 

• CRUCIAL: Correct breathing: only though Nose, slowly and gently - for more on that research James Nestors book "Breath"
• Microdose some psychedelics: LSD or Mushrooms, fear will be gone
• Caffeine can work, wouldn't recommend you'll get addicted, modafinil
• (Healthy diet, Vitamine supply, healthy lifestyle in general)

You got this! I believe in you!

Edited December 14, 2021 by Gregory1

[PurpleTree]

31 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

 

• Microdose some psychedelics: LSD or Mushrooms, fear will be gone
• Caffeine can work, wouldn't recommend you'll get addicted, modafinil

they often make my fear worse

i want to try piracetam but it's a prescription med here

Edited December 14, 2021 by PurpleTree

[hamedsf]

performance anxiety comes down to a certain fear.
since I'm a perfectionist I tend to overthink stuff to make them the best as possible.
I used to apply this to my sex life like I was thinking that I should be flawless or be like a porn star when I'm gonna have sex with my girlfriend.
after a while I realize whenever I'm gonna have something with a girl, I think to myself I'm gonna try to screw up the whole sex and in the end, it turns out the best as possible...