How to remember childhood trauma?

[youngshinzen]

Hey,

I have one memory of "mild" sexual abuse in my childhood, but I feel like much more happened. What are ways to dive deeper into this and remember more?

I've looked up some symptoms and the following resonate: insecurity about sexual orientation, deep feeling of guilt, suppressed anger, dissociation, passivity/lethargy, feeling dirty/worthless.

Once during a workshop I connected deeply to my body and emotions and realised I felt absolutely no emotional connection towards women. Now I think that I might have split off my own feminine side as protection. What do you think? 

[Raptorsin7]

2 minutes ago, youngshinzen said:

Hey,

I have one memory of "mild" sexual abuse in my childhood, but I feel like much more happened. What are ways to dive deeper into this and remember more?

I've looked up some symptoms and the following resonate: insecurity about sexual orientation, deep feeling of guilt, suppressed anger, dissociation, passivity/lethargy, feeling dirty/worthless.

Once during a workshop I connected deeply to my body and emotions and realised I felt absolutely no emotional connection towards women. Now I think that I might have split off my own feminine side as protection. What do you think? 

Set an intention to be shown the truth of what happened to you. Take a few minutes and just ask consciousness to show you the truth. Like you are praying to be shown the memory of you being sexually abused.

You may also be chasing a ghost. If you aren't sure that you were sexually abused, then there may be some other trauma you are overlooking

[mandyjw]

If you desire emotional connection, start noticing and allowing that. Go more in that direction rather than focusing on how you do not want to feel. Everything in the way of Love will be seen clearly at exactly the same time that it clears as Love is perfect clarity itself. 

[Flowerfaeiry]

1 hour ago, youngshinzen said:

I have one memory of "mild" sexual abuse in my childhood, but I feel like much more happened. What are ways to dive deeper into this and remember more?

Going back and trying to remember everything that happened may or may not help you heal. In fact it could re-traumatize you and keep you stuck in unhelpful patterns. 

Remind yourself that sexual abuse is never "mild" so, honor what you went through. I get what you're saying but sometimes the "mild" types leave deep scars because they are more sneaky and the damage is harder to uncover. 

 

[Raze]

You don’t have to remember it to heal it. Try IFS therapy or the Sedona method.

[Loba]

@Flowerfaeiry @Raze As they have said, and someone with repressed memories come up, you may not want to remember.  Nature is SMART.  It designed for you not to remember so you could live your life in peace (for the most part).  Remembering that stuff does not come with a story, it comes with the visceral feelings that a small child internalizes during those moments and they are more extreme than what adults feel due to new senses being imprinted.  It may end up being, simply too much.  When it happened to me, it happened a few times out of the blue and started my spiritual journey, but no one was there to help me cope with the feelings of what had happened and I was left with the senses of betrayal and confusion of a small child.  It's something you want to be sure you have at least, a good support group for and to be in a good place.  You can still work on trauma without going into it, and actually, doing this might allow the subconscious to let more memories out because it is safe to do so.

One thing that can help you is to do intuitive artwork, where you just draw from your subconscious and heart, in the moment, with feeling, and then see what it brings up for you.

Edited November 29, 2021 by Loba

[Zigzag Idiot]

How to remember childhood trauma?

This book has a process using this disc thats included.  It really broke loose many memories years ago when I tried it for a time. Also it helped me out of a chronic deep depression that plagued me during that period of my life. There's no need to even get near a Dianetics or Scientology center. Please don't. It's a can of worm as you probably already know. The organization that is,,,, The book is all thats needed in case you wanted to give it a try.

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Analysis-L-Ron-Hubbard/dp/0884042642

[Nahm]

23 hours ago, youngshinzen said:

Hey,

I have one memory of "mild" sexual abuse in my childhood, but I feel like much more happened. What are ways to dive deeper into this and remember more?

When is that memory? When would the more memories be? 

When do you desire to feel better? 

Quote

I've looked up some symptoms and the following resonate: insecurity about sexual orientation, deep feeling of guilt, suppressed anger, dissociation, passivity/lethargy, feeling dirty/worthless.

How can you be sure those symptoms are caused by a past, and not a natural feeling guidance in regard to what you’re focused on, when the discord is felt? 

If it is thought that more memories are desired, why? To what end? 

Quote

Once during a workshop I connected deeply to my body and emotions and realised I felt absolutely no emotional connection towards women. Now I think that I might have split off my own feminine side as protection. What do you think? 

Might be that thought activity settled, and the actuality that women is a thought was clear. But then the thought about splitting yourself arises, and there is again the feeling of discord, and the seeking to resolve it. If so, notice what ‘worked’, was, if you like, the ‘feeling of’ an I connecting to a body & emotions. Which could be another way of saying, other-than focusing on discordant thoughts. 

When thirsty, go to the sink. When feeling better is desired, go to feeling (letting thoughts go). Feeling is not in a past. Purification is not in a past. I’d stick with direct experience, and express how you feel now. 

[Gianna]

On 11/28/2021 at 7:18 AM, youngshinzen said:

Once during a workshop I connected deeply to my body and emotions and realised I felt absolutely no emotional connection towards women. Now I think that I might have split off my own feminine side as protection. What do you think? 

I think that is a good theory. I also think that it is through the present moment with your body and emotions that you came to this deeper understanding/realization/remembering that is stored within you. Hence, in order to reactive memories, instead of fishing for the past in your mind I would try to reconnect with yourself in the here and now as intimately as you can; in the present moment. This, "ironically", is the place where memories are stored because they are where memories once happened. Everything that has happened, happened in the now. So the now is where you shall find them. So I would dive deep into the now with this intention and see what is revealed to you.  

Edited December 1, 2021 by Gianna