How do you prepare if you're going into a toxic environment?

[PurpleTree]

Like you know it's going to be toxic.

Could be a family gathering, christmas etc.

a funeral

could be work related

how do you prepare if you're a sensitive person and know it's going to be difficult and you're going to be tested in some ways?

[Loba]

Tbh, weed and coffee... helps me stay grounded, awake and makes the present moment feel much better.

If I can't do that, then I use the stair machine and work out until I get a runner's high.

[PurpleTree]

4 minutes ago, Loba said:

Tbh, weed and coffee... helps me stay grounded, awake and makes the present moment feel much better.

If I can't do that, then I use the stair machine and work out until I get a runner's high.

yikes

both of those actually make me more anxious

sports could work but i can't do it right before the thing

maybe lemon balm tea could be worth a try

and obviously trying to meditate or mantras during the "thing"

[mandyjw]

Those things all sound like fun. There's nothing better than a good funeral. It starts with the word fun, how could it not be fun? 

In the past, I used to always go a for a good long run before doing something difficult because I'd have a less active mind and be feeling good. I used to get a lot of anxiety and have tons of negative thoughts about all those situations. Now I just find those things interesting more than challenging. Sometimes the same people I used to think were toxic are so beautiful I cry. 

The whole notion of "toxic" and the toxic being imposed upon you is a thought that would be a good start to drop. 

[PurpleTree]

10 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Those things all sound like fun. There's nothing better than a good funeral. It starts with the word fun, how could it not be fun? 

In the past, I used to always go a for a good long run before doing something difficult because I'd have a less active mind and be feeling good. I used to get a lot of anxiety and have tons of negative thoughts about all those situations. Now I just find those things interesting more than challenging. Sometimes the same people I used to think were toxic are so beautiful I cry. 

The whole notion of "toxic" and the toxic being imposed upon you is a thought that would be a good start to drop. 

well i don't know

one of those people is threatening me in some ways and i'll still have to go there

i'd call that a bit toxic  

[Loba]

@PurpleTree Oh no, they do!  Don't do them, then!

Oh, have you tried kava kava tea before??

[soos_mite_ah]

I try to emotionally distance myself from the situation so I don't get too wrapped up in it. One of my favorite ways of doing it is by showing up to a family function and trying to take a social scientists pov on the situation. Like *here we have uncle bob acting out trauma he hasn't processed from way back in 1985.* It's kind of like looking at the situation as its on national geographic lol. That way, you can acknowledge what's going on without disassociating but it isn't so much so where you're taking things personally.  

Also, letting yourself feel before and after the event is great because it helps you process what's happening. 

Finally, setting boundaries and standing up for yourself in a way that is assertive rather than aggressive is always good. 

[PurpleTree]

18 minutes ago, Loba said:

@PurpleTree Oh no, they do!  Don't do them, then!

Oh, have you tried kava kava tea before??

have tried it once don't really remember how it made me feel, so i don't think it was great

i've tried like a 100 of different supplements, herbs etc.

might still have some of that kava

12 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I try to emotionally distance myself from the situation so I don't get too wrapped up in it. One of my favorite ways of doing it is by showing up to a family function and trying to take a social scientists pov on the situation. Like *here we have uncle bob acting out trauma he hasn't processed from way back in 1985.* It's kind of like looking at the situation as its on national geographic lol. That way, you can acknowledge what's going on without disassociating but it isn't so much so where you're taking things personally.  

Also, letting yourself feel before and after the event is great because it helps you process what's happening. 

Finally, setting boundaries and standing up for yourself in a way that is assertive rather than aggressive is always good. 

hmm yea thanks, standing up for myself and others is part of what sent that other person over the rails

but looking at it as an experiment isn't a bad idea

i also always try to look at those situations as an opportunity for spiritual/personal growth etc.

but i'm also kind of sensitive so i can only take it so long until i tell the person to kindly stfu or something

Edited November 16, 2021 by PurpleTree

[Armand]

I limit my conversations with toxic people. I love meditation and peace and giving myself the pleasure of enjoying my own company without chaos. 

That said, when I do encounter chaos or trifling individuals like a guy I work with who was putting his feet near my face, my only natural response was to take off my socks and place them near the guy. Fighting ignorance with ignorance sometimes is the best thing you can do.

Time helps us become less sensitive to these kinds of situations and not putting your emotions on your sleeve helps too. 

[Nahm]

@PurpleTree

What does toxic mean to you? 

[peanutspathtotruth]

@PurpleTree If there is no way you can avoid being in this situation, try to be humble. Don't think that you shouldn't be there. Maybe this is a lesson through which you can learn about why we are toxic to each other, why we are ignorant and suffering and projecting that onto others. See how hurt others are - and understand, if you can, that this is you. Try to understand yourself. And most importantly: Try to boldly stay open-hearted. If at all possible, stay in the knowledge that nothing is personal. Be bold and be loving, but don't go into situations that your heart doesn't feel safe in. 

Edited November 18, 2021 by peanutspathtotruth

[Insane butterfly]

Phenibut. 

[PurpleTree]

2 hours ago, Nahm said:

@PurpleTree

What does toxic mean to you? 

it's just a word

toxic is something that feels unhealthy probably

[Nahm]

@PurpleTree

That’s helpful imo. If they’re unhealthy, just be mindful it is their health and not yours. What they stand to benefit most from is an example (imo). What you probably stand to benefit most from is being with them. It’ll not only make you more aware of and feel great about your alignments with well being, but of your thus inherent ability to effortlessly influence them toward well being, just by being you, being there. 

@mandyjw

Fun-or-real. ?

[BlackMaze]

Don't react and don't play their games. Just let them do what they are going to do anyways and let it go. Don't let anything affect your mental and emotional state. In my job stupid games are a daily thing. I'm just prepared that they will happen to not get surprised and i'm like whatever dude play your stupid games predictable mofo and get it over with. If they succeed to disturb your emotional balance they have won. See it like a game. The not giving a fuck game. 

[PurpleTree]

4 minutes ago, BlackMaze said:

Don't react and don't play their games. Just let them do what they are going to do anyways and let it go. Don't let anything affect your mental and emotional state. In my job stupid games are a daily thing. I'm just prepared that they will happen to not get surprised and i'm like whatever dude play your stupid games predictable mofo and get it over with. If they succeed to disturb your emotional balance they have won. See it like a game. The not giving a fuck game. 

That would be really great. And great for you if you're not affected by it.

But i'm sensitive to many things including others peoples feelings and so on.

My emotional state is almost always affected in some ways. It's ever changing.

[BlackMaze]

5 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

That would be really great. And great for you if you're not affected by it.

But i'm sensitive to many things including others peoples feelings and so on.

My emotional state is almost always affected in some ways. It's ever changing.

The reason i'm not affected by it is because i was born in it and got an overdose and now i have some immunity. 

Some more details would help to possibly get some better answers.

If you have an option to avoid it then don't go. You mentioned that someone threatens you. How bad is the threat? Imagine that the threat becomes a reality. What would you do in this situation? You would still survive that. Go in there with no fear prepared for the threat to become a reality for you, be brutally honest and cut ties with toxic people if you have to. 

I don't know, this is just one approach just consider how this approach would play out in your situation. 

 

 

[PurpleTree]

11 minutes ago, BlackMaze said:

If you have an option to avoid it then don't go. You mentioned that someone threatens you. How bad is the threat? Imagine that the threat becomes a reality. What would you do in this situation? You would still survive that. Go in there with no fear prepared for the threat to become a reality for you, be brutally honest and cut ties with toxic people if you have to. 

I don't know, this is just one approach just consider how this approach would play out in your situation. 

I could probably avoid going there but that wouldn't be very smart right now imo.

I'll just try to keep the convo to a minimum. Some people are just loonies.

Threats mostly in terms of losing a job or some other issues. I'll probably also use a recorder if things go overboard.