Can I attract a man on the same vibration as I ?

[Nos7algiK]

8 hours ago, Preety_India said:

My qualities are -INTP, emotional, logical, sensitive,loyal. 

My partner is an intp and holds all the qualities you have listed. I'm an infp myself and this makes for a pretty great combo. I'm not too overly expressive of my own emotions or should I say the more negative ones since happiness/joy/love are commonly expressed, but it's not because I don't feel them. But, rather one of this personality types defining qualities is great introspection skills and a deep understanding of one self. Also, extremely receptive to other's emotions. This is great for her so she can express how she feels whenever she wishes without judgment and due to me having my own emotions down pretty well, I can use my own experience to help guide her through her emotions and help to calm and give her a since of understanding. Which helps her, in turn, develop these tools for herself giving her more faith in herself and those around her.

I say this because I don't want to see others loose faith, specially in the terms of finding a lover. I know you can't just snap your fingers and find someone just like that. But, with enough patience something will come your way. Usually this happens once you truly let go of the idea of a partner and focus on your own self love. You do not have to be perfect for someone will love you for who you are now or who you will be. They will bring the best out of you and the idea of perfect will be replaced with harmony. Your love for them and their love for you will project out into the world allowing you to love all unconditionally. This, in turn, is like watering your own garden and will only cause everything around you to grow. Thus fulfilling you with more growth later. Patience is a virtue.

The qualities you hold in yourself are not to be shared with just the common man or even a great man. But, rather someone who is exceptional and it takes time to cultivate such a person into your life. You will not regret waiting.

[Emerald]

Everyone only ever attracts from the vibration they hold. No exceptions.

It’s already happening and you don’t have to do anything to make it happen.

There are two vibrations a person holds: their core vibration and their shadow vibration. And both are magnetic forces that pull those of like energy towards you.

The core vibration is the vibration of your natural essence. The Shadow vibration is the vibration of all that is repressed and hurt within you.

So, my best advice for finding the most compatible partner is to integrate your Shadow and do the healing work.

This will mean that your Shadow vibration will lose strength and become weaker and less magnetic... while your core vibration will absorb the strength of the integrated Shadow vibration and become stronger and more magnetic.

Until the Shadow is integrated, you will only ever attract and be attracted to what is not integrated in yourself. 

So, if a person is dealing with low self-esteem and has a repressed assertive drive, they will have a strong Shadow vibration which will attract someone with low-self esteem with an over-active assertive drive (aka aggression).

[Applegarden8]

14 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Everyone only ever attracts from the vibration they hold. No exceptions.

It’s already happening and you don’t have to do anything to make it happen.

There are two vibrations a person holds: their core vibration and their shadow vibration. And both are magnetic forces that pull those of like energy towards you.

The core vibration is the vibration of your natural essence. The Shadow vibration is the vibration of all that is repressed and hurt within you.

So, my best advice for finding the most compatible partner is to integrate your Shadow and do the healing work.

This will mean that your Shadow vibration will lose strength and become weaker and less magnetic... while your core vibration will absorb the strength of the integrated Shadow vibration and become stronger and more magnetic.

Until the Shadow is integrated, you will only ever attract and be attracted to what is not integrated in yourself. 

So, if a person is dealing with low self-esteem and has a repressed assertive drive, they will have a strong Shadow vibration which will attract someone with low-self esteem with an over-active assertive drive (aka aggression).

Yes, I feel this is true. Whomever you are with and wherever you are, you show yourself to others based on your behaviour, which comes from Values, which comes from past experiences. These past experiences hold intense emotional baggage and can't be dealt with logic efficiently, meanwhile they are largely subconscious and defines your behaviour - when you cringe, when you are needy, ashamed e.c.t., and it defines what kind of People you attract.

[RickyFitts]

58 minutes ago, Emerald said:

There are two vibrations a person holds: their core vibration and their shadow vibration. And both are magnetic forces that pull those of like energy towards you.

The core vibration is the vibration of your natural essence. The Shadow vibration is the vibration of all that is repressed and hurt within you.

I'm struggling with this, you seem to be saying that there are two contradictory vibrations in most people, both of which are simultaneously attracting those of like energy towards them like a magnet? Is that how it works, or am I misunderstanding?

Absolutely agree with you about healing and integrating in order to attract a compatible partner, though. Although dysfunctional, emotionally-wrenching relationships can also aid one's growth enormously, in a messy, tumultuous sort of way, I guess it depends on whether or not you've had your fill of the heartache.

Edited July 25, 2021 by RickyFitts

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

Everyone only ever attracts from the vibration they hold. No exceptions.

It’s already happening and you don’t have to do anything to make it happen.

There are two vibrations a person holds: their core vibration and their shadow vibration. And both are magnetic forces that pull those of like energy towards you.

The core vibration is the vibration of your natural essence. The Shadow vibration is the vibration of all that is repressed and hurt within you.

So, my best advice for finding the most compatible partner is to integrate your Shadow and do the healing work.

This will mean that your Shadow vibration will lose strength and become weaker and less magnetic... while your core vibration will absorb the strength of the integrated Shadow vibration and become stronger and more magnetic.

Until the Shadow is integrated, you will only ever attract and be attracted to what is not integrated in yourself. 

So, if a person is dealing with low self-esteem and has a repressed assertive drive, they will have a strong Shadow vibration which will attract someone with low-self esteem with an over-active assertive drive (aka aggression).

I understood some bits of this although I struggled because of some questions in my mind.

People often say that "opposites attract."

I understood that core vibrations means I'll attract a religious guy if I'm religious, for example.. similarly if I value dignity I'll attract a dignified guy.

But what I didn't understand from the post is how do and why do opposites attract ?

Like in my life, I observed that I'm soft tempered and I tend to attract hot tempered guys. It's like I always tend to attract that which is opposite of me/my nature or that which doesn't exist in me .

I think this happens because of polarity and this polarity leads to magnetic attraction.

How does this pattern factor into the above explanation of core and shadow vibrations. 

What kind of vibration is operating when I'm attracting the opposite kind?

 

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, RickyFitts said:

I'm struggling with this, you seem to be saying that there are two contradictory vibrations in most people, both of which are simultaneously attracting those of like energy towards them like a magnet? Is that how it works, or am I misunderstanding?

Absolutely agree with you about healing and integrating in order to attract a compatible partner, though. Although dysfunctional, emotionally-wrenching relationships can also aid one's growth enormously, in a messy, tumultuous sort of way, I guess it depends on whether or not you've had your fill of the heartache.

Yes, everyone has the two vibrations... unless they have integrated all of their Shadow contents and gotten to the end of healing. But I have never met such a person who has no more healing to do.

But I have met people who are mostly healed and integrated... or who had a relatively healthy childhood. And the core vibration has significantly more attractive pull than the Shadow vibration in these cases.

I’ve also met plenty of people who have such a dense shadow and lots of healing to do. And they attract their partners mostly from the Shadow vibration.

If you are in the space of having a lot of healing to do, you will attract whoever most mirrors your Shadow to you... and whoever will be most likely to facilitate that healing by bringing to the surface all of your pain and traumas.

You will attract whoever is most like the lemon juice to your wounds to make you aware of your wounds. That way, you can address them.

Although this Shadow attraction is usually oriented to unconsciously and thus usually doesn’t facilitate healing. It usually ends up in a retraumatization. 

But once the Shadow vibration is healed and brought back into alignment and resonance with the core vibration, you will attract others that are a better match to your essential core vibration.

So, if you want a partner who is compatible with you... instead of just being compatible with your traumas ... then the Shadow contents must be healed and integrated.

[Emerald]

5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I understood some bits of this although I struggled because of some questions in my mind.

People often say that "opposites attract."

I understood that core vibrations means I'll attract a religious guy if I'm religious, for example.. similarly if I value dignity I'll attract a dignified guy.

But what I didn't understand from the post is how do and why do opposites attract ?

Like in my life, I observed that I'm soft tempered and I tend to attract hot tempered guys. It's like I always tend to attract that which is opposite of me/my nature or that which doesn't exist in me .

I think this happens because of polarity and this polarity leads to magnetic attraction.

How does this pattern factor into the above explanation of core and shadow vibrations. 

What kind of vibration is operating when I'm attracting the opposite kind?

Think about it more as a wavelength than as a magnet.

There is magnetism that attracts on certain levels based on polarity... aka opposites attract.

But in terms of wavelength resonance, it is like and like that fall into resonance with one another.

And a compatible relationship requires both polarity and resonance to work.

So, in the example I gave, there was one element of polarity and another element of resonance.

So, I gave the example of a person with low self-esteem who is unable to assert themselves being attractive to another person with low self-esteem who is aggressive and has an overactive assertive drive.

So, the two people have Shadow resonance on the vibration of low self-esteem. But they also have Shadow polarity because one is a doormat and the other is a tyrant.

But the magnetism and resonance in this example is all coming from experiencing similar traumas. It isn’t coming from true compatibility, true polarity, or true resonance.

To have true resonance and true polarity, the partners must be attracted to one another from the core vibration. And this requires healing and integrating the Shadow vibration into the core vibration.

So, there is Shadow polarity and Shadow resonance.

And there is Core Essence polarity and Core Essence resonance.

And in order to have two people attracted to one another on the level of core essence (instead of just two people being attracted to one another who just have matching traumas) the healing work must be done.

[Preety_India]

20 minutes ago, Emerald said:

You will attract whoever is most like the lemon juice to your wounds to make you aware of your wounds. That way, you can address them.

Does this statement mean that we attract someone based on our unhealed traumas and this causes reactivation of underlying traumas and this becomes an attraction pattern(unless dealt with)?

 

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Applegarden8 said:

Yes, I feel this is true. Whomever you are with and wherever you are, you show yourself to others based on your behaviour, which comes from Values, which comes from past experiences. These past experiences hold intense emotional baggage and can't be dealt with logic efficiently, meanwhile they are largely subconscious and defines your behaviour - when you cringe, when you are needy, ashamed e.c.t., and it defines what kind of People you attract.

Yes exactly 

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Think about it more as a wavelength than as a magnet.

There is magnetism that attracts on certain levels based on polarity... aka opposites attract.

But in terms of wavelength resonance, it is like and like that fall into resonance with one another.

And a compatible relationship requires both polarity and resonance to work.

So, in the example I gave, there was one element of polarity and another element of resonance.

So, I gave the example of a person with low self-esteem who is unable to assert themselves being attractive to another person with low self-esteem who is aggressive and has an overactive assertive drive.

So, the two people have Shadow resonance on the vibration of low self-esteem. But they also have Shadow polarity because one is a doormat and the other is a tyrant.

But the magnetism and resonance in this example is all coming from experiencing similar traumas. It isn’t coming from true compatibility, true polarity, or true resonance.

To have true resonance and true polarity, the partners must be attracted to one another from the core vibration. And this requires healing and integrating the Shadow vibration into the core vibration.

So, there is Shadow polarity and Shadow resonance.

And there is Core Essence polarity and Core Essence resonance.

And in order to have two people attracted to one another on the level of core essence (instead of just two people being attracted to one another who just have matching traumas) the healing work must be done.

This post I understood really well. It explained me both polarity and resonance. 

Correct me if my understanding of this post is wrong 

What I understand is this -

Polarity and resonance will exist. Like coexist.

Now if both polarity and resonance come from a space of core essence then it's a healthy polarity and healthy resonance?

Now if the resonance is because of some shadow element involved, it means that the mind is simply looking to revisit or reactivate or replay aspects of that shadow/trauma. So this won't be healthy because it's based on an incorrect or false false foundation (like doomed from the start because the attraction itself is wrong attraction or faulty attraction )?

Similarly if the polarity is due to this hidden subconscious shadow/trauma aspect,then once again this attraction is a futile attraction?

And once this shadow is merged, healed and packed up, then it merges with the core essence and stops having its negative effect on attraction?

After the all attraction both polarity and resonance happen from the core essence again and in a healthy way ?

This is how I interpreted the post.

Please correct me wherever I was wrong.

 

[Emerald]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

This post I understood really well. It explained me both polarity and resonance. 

Correct me if my understanding of this post is wrong 

What I understand is this -

Polarity and resonance will exist. Like coexist.

Now if both polarity and resonance come from a space of core essence then it's a healthy polarity and healthy resonance?

Now if the resonance is because of some shadow element involved, it means that the mind is simply looking to revisit or reactivate or replay aspects of that shadow/trauma. So this won't be healthy because it's based on an incorrect or false false foundation (like doomed from the start because the attraction itself is wrong attraction or faulty attraction )?

Similarly if the polarity is due to this hidden subconscious shadow/trauma aspect,then once again this attraction is a futile attraction?

And once this shadow is merged, healed and packed up, then it merges with the core essence and stops having its negative effect on attraction?

After the all attraction both polarity and resonance happen from the core essence again and in a healthy way ?

This is how I interpreted the post.

Please correct me wherever I was wrong.

 

Yes exactly right... with one slight nuance.

So, mostly the relationship based on Shadow attraction will be a bad idea to entertain. I don’t recommend it. I recommend doing your solo healing work before, so that you attract another mostly healed person.

BUT Shadow attractions and relationships CAN be useful for integration work. But starting a relationship with someone on this level often leads to retraumatization, which is wise to avoid. But the positive side of this is that it brings you into your old traumas so that you can heal and integrate.

So, primarily Shadow informed relationships will usually be very stressful and painful. And will mostly be futile I’m the relationship sense.

But these bad relationships can also be used as a springboard into healing work, if you’re not already doing it.

And then, once healing happens, you will be on a better wavelength which enables you to attract men that mirror the new, healed you.

[Zeroguy]

@Emerald Ok nice theory.I need to fix my vibration because I attracted women interested in politics which fantasizes to be like Jacky Kennedy and wears wig to look like Merlyn Monroe.

Poor me has to learn new dancing moves too.

Something is just not right. if you get what I mean. 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Emerald said:

BUT Shadow attractions and relationships CAN be useful for integration work. But starting a relationship with someone on this level often leads to retraumatization, which is wise to avoid. But the positive side of this is that it brings you into your old traumas so that you can heal and integrate.

So, primarily Shadow informed relationships will usually be very stressful and painful. And will mostly be futile I’m the relationship sense.

But these bad relationships can also be used as a springboard into healing work, if you’re not already doing it.

Frankly speaking, this is exactly how it happened with me..it's as though the subconscious finds a way to do what it has to do. It's own internal warning system at work.

So I attracted this relationship 3 years ago and it ended last year. And it had many elements that were similar to my childhood abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother. She would constantly keep me in fear. He was controlling and bossy like her, his mannerisms were like her even his spending habits were like her. It's almost I was with male version of my mom and the attraction was very intense. 

The relationship did hurt me a lot because I became a shell of myself in it,feeling abused and trapped. I got out of it, big thanks to the forum including you who forced and coaxed me out out of it.

No denying that the relationship was horrible. Yet it brought to the surface questions regarding why all of this happened and then it lead me to understand that I was actually suffering from trauma which never occurred to me before that relationship. I suddenly became aware that I was living in traumatic state unknowingly and unaware.. once I understood that my trauma had attracted him to me, I started doing a lot of shadow work where I kept targeting my wounds.. once these wounds came to the surface, it was easy to let them go and heal those wounds and not be bothered by them.

If it wasn't for that relationship, I probably would have carried the symptoms of trauma forever without realising.

Strangely the relationship was like a big punishment yet at the same time it served like a launchpad for me to realize that I needed healing..

[Preety_India]

12 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And then, once healing happens, you will be on a better wavelength which enables you to attract men that mirror the new, healed you.

Also something that I realized in this whole process is that I need to pay careful attention to the man I attract and also look into why I am attracting him and not someone else.

This helps in finding clues that help with understanding my own self better. It becomes like a map. The more deeply I study what I'm attracted to the better I get at knowing which aspect of my own personality is causing me to attract the person thus helping me explore Myself better. For a lack of a better term it's like a reverse microscope that I'm using to study the man I'm attracted to yet it goes in the reverse direction to show aspects of my own self that are being reflected under that microscope.

 

 

[RickyFitts]

@Emerald Thanks for elaborating, I really appreciate it  What you said perfectly explains a relationship I had a few years back which triggered significant trauma for both of us, I think it's fair to say we both had a significant shadow to integrate. 

[Gesundheit2]

@Emerald In another post, I remember you saying that you'll be attracted to whomever you hangout around the most, or something like that. You said love is blind. How does that fit with what you're saying here? 

Edited July 26, 2021 by Gesundheit2

[Leo Gura]

It's simple: talk to LOTS of men, and screen them for what you want.

It's not going to work unless you increase the volume of new guys you talk to.

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

It's simple: talk to LOTS of men, and screen them for what you want.

It's not going to work unless you increase the volume of new guys you talk to.

I'm on a dating site right now. And last week I got 40 matches on my profile. But the thing is that I tend to slut shame myself and then I don't even talk to them.

I get this feeling that if I talk to one guy and then if I talk to another guy then it feels like I'm disrespecting the first guy. I felt confused and the guys are still waiting to talk to me. Now in the morning a few of them called me and I just felt like how can talk to so many.

Also this one-itis like you talk about, where if I talk to one guy then that guy is in my head. It's difficult to put another guy in my head. I'm not trying to  get  emotionally attached. So what should I tell a guy if he asks me -"are you talking to other guys beside me ? "

 I mean you are right. I should talk to many guys and I only talk to one guy at a time. It reduces my volume significantly because I cut out all guys for one guy 

 

[Hello from Russia]

Girl, you're constantly dating incompatible men according to your zodiac. You're Pisces which is one of the most peaceful signs and based on your pictures you tried to date Aries, of course that ain't gonna workout. I recently studied a lot of astrological models and they seem to be very legitimate, I'd screen for sun/moon/ascendent astrology signs before considering commitment

Edited July 26, 2021 by Hello from Russia

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

Girl, you're constantly dating incompatible men according to your zodiac. You're Pisces which is one of the most peaceful signs and based on your pictures you tried to date Aries, of course that ain't gonna workout. I recently studied a lot of astrological models and they seem to be very legitimate, I'd screen for sun/moon/ascendent astrology signs before considering commitment

I won't date an Aries. It's not working for me. The signature has gone stale. I need to change that.

I usually get attracted to Taurus a lot. I'm keeping my options open for Aquarius,Leo and Cancer. 

So far I dated Pisces, Aries and Taurus. Somehow I'm always rotating between these signs. One thing is sure I will never date a Pisces again. Since I'm a Pisces , there is zero polarity and too much fighting. 

My strongest polarity was with Taurus so far. Others I didn't date.