StarStruck

How to text in between dates?

18 posts in this topic

Is less more? What to talk about? How frequent to text girls? What is the dynamic? The advice on the internet is so various. I'm confused and insecure about texting. 

For example:

How to text a girl I just met today? I wished her lucks with her exams next week. How to proceed?

Or

Girl I suppose to meet today canceled our date. It would have been our third date. She asked if we could meet another time. Just wait it out and wait for her iniative?


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

How to text a girl I just met today? I wished her lucks with her exams next week. How to proceed?

Wait for her exams to be over and then ask how it went.

3 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Girl I suppose to meet today canceled our date. It would have been our third date. She asked if we could meet another time. Just wait it out and wait for her iniative?

Yes.

4 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Is less more? What to talk about? How frequent to text girls? What is the dynamic? The advice on the internet is so various. I'm confused and insecure about texting. 

Less is usually more. Tune to inner wisdom and intuition on the spot when texting, keep in mind the delay in receiving messages and that it is not a live conversation.


"I believe you are more afraid of condemning me to the stake than for me to receive your cruel and disproportionate punishment."

- Giordano Bruno, Campo de' Fiori, Rome, Italy. February 17th, 1600.

Cosmic pluralist, mathematician and poet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Text as little as possible if shes aggresive exchange few texts and set up a date...

Did you set up another time then? Did she give you date and time easily?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

11 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Text as little as possible if shes aggresive exchange few texts and set up a date...

Did you set up another time then? Did she give you date and time easily?

She said: "do you want to meet another time? I'm very tired, hot from the weather, and sick. I'm afraid I won't be cheerful with you today. :("

So no, she didn't give me another time and date.

It would have been our third date. First date was instant date. Second date was given without any problems.

18 minutes ago, Eternal Unity said:

Less is usually more. Tune to inner wisdom and intuition on the spot when texting, keep in mind the delay in receiving messages and that it is not a live conversation.

The thing with intuition is that it is developed. I don't have a lot of experience so my intuition usually sucks with new things like text game. If I listen to my feelings I would hit her up every day to ask how her day is. I'm not doing that of course. I'm texting very minimal and I don't know if that is good. She might become cold towards me.

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@StarStruck She didnt reject the date she wanted you to say dont worry ill cheer you up no problem meet you in that spot we planned...mybe its a shittest it sounds to me it is...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

You might be right. I feel so dumb right now. :/

How would you do damage control?

I told her it is OK and we could meet another time when she feels better. 

@NoSelfSelf

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@StarStruck Its ok all a learning process,you never let things open you need to be decisive and assertive(mybe that what shitest was for)... after that text you sent you want her to come to you when she feels better so you just wait and do your stuff not worrying if she will text if she doesnt text in 3,4 days you text her with your sheldule,if it happens again you either press for date or set up another by saying ok we could do it another time i checked my sheldule im free at this time is that okay with you..?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@NoSelfSelf thanks. That was my plan too to wait 3 days. 

When she canceled the date I sent her something. She didn't even give me a reply when I said I hope she would feel better. 

I actually liked this girl. Probably even fell a little bit in love with her. This is such a disappointment. 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@StarStruck you started to like her more than she likes you so she put that shit test to see what you made of and you saying that like a nice guy made her pull back(thats all my theory) from that i wouldnt text her 5 to 7 days...but you do you...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Girl I suppose to meet today canceled our date. It would have been our third date. She asked if we could meet another time. Just wait it out and wait for her iniative?

Wait it out for a couple of days or more, keep yourself busy with other things. Don't expect girls to take the initiative in these early stages. It's your job to lead, come up with suggestions and create the space to meet up. 

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I'm texting very minimal and I don't know if that is good. She might become cold towards me.

I think it's good, it keeps your neediness at bay. You can sprinkle in some banter and playfulness, especially when you hit her up after some time.

Next time you hit her up don't go straight to scheduling the date, start with something simple that doesn't require any reply from her, like "Love these warms days" or "Just went for a swim, feeling awesome now". Then suggest a day to meet up.

The vibe you're going for is along the lines of 'hey I'm living my life, stuff is happening. Anyway, let's get on to arranging that date.'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@StarStruck Send funny and lighthearted messages and set up the next date as soon as you can. The only purpose of text game is to set up a date close to where you live in order to pull. 

Overthinking text messages is unnecessary. Just be witty, lighthearted and funny with the intention to meet her in person. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Is less more?

Yes 100%

10 hours ago, StarStruck said:

What to talk about?

Nothing. You set the date.

10 hours ago, StarStruck said:

How frequent to text girls?

Once a week to set a date.

10 hours ago, StarStruck said:

What is the dynamic? 

No dynamics, you just set the date.

 

10 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I wished her lucks with her exams next week.

That's it?

Bad.

IMO OFC.

A.B.C. = Always be closing

10 hours ago, StarStruck said:

She asked if we could meet another time. Just wait it out and wait for her iniative?

Tell her 4 hours later: -''You let me know.''

DO NOT TRY TO SET A DATE IN THIS 3rd DATE SCENARIO. 

 

 

 

Arc

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Arcangelo that is my style too but sometimes I feel that girls become cold if you get their number, don't text for a week and then show up out of nowhere. Buying temperature with the girl becomes very cold. She really has to like me to accept. Are you not afraid of that?

9 hours ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@StarStruck Send funny and lighthearted messages and set up the next date as soon as you can. The only purpose of text game is to set up a date close to where you live in order to pull. 

Overthinking text messages is unnecessary. Just be witty, lighthearted and funny with the intention to meet her in person. 

How would you pull to your house? I asked her on the first date to come with me to watch a movie and she said no. If she accepts another date, it will be the third date.

 

10 hours ago, Waves said:

Next time you hit her up don't go straight to scheduling the date, start with something simple that doesn't require any reply from her, like "Love these warms days" or "Just went for a swim, feeling awesome now". Then suggest a day to meet up.

The vibe you're going for is along the lines of 'hey I'm living my life, stuff is happening. Anyway, let's get on to arranging that date.'

That is really good.

I guess one can use this type of conversational fish baits more than once. I'm considering use this type of conversational fish baits couple of times per week but guys in this thread say only to hit her up to get a date. I might experiment with conversational baits with a girl I met recently and that I'm not very invested in.

The girl who flaked yesterday (and that I'm very invested i) I'm going to be very standoffish with, wait 3 days or something and then hit her up for a new date. Preferably I would like her hitting me up but we will see. 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 hours ago, Waves said:

 

Next time you hit her up don't go straight to scheduling the date, start with something simple that doesn't require any reply from her, like "Love these warms days" or "Just went for a swim, feeling awesome now". 

 

Lol it doesn't sound staged no....🤣


A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I guess one can use this type of conversational fish baits more than once. I'm considering use this type of conversational fish baits couple of times per week but guys in this thread say only to hit her up to get a date

Don't over do it. Keep it for when you set up a date. Ask yourself why you would want to "bait" her: to have a conversation over text (not very effective)? To get her validation? Is your desire to text her coming from neediness?

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

Lol it doesn't sound staged no....🤣

Yeah a bit, but it depends on the place you're coming from. If it's something you authentically feel like sharing and that is congruent to who you are (an active person for example), it could be an opportunity for connection. You're not asking anything and she is free to ignore your input. It's even better if you manage to tease her or mention something you two talked about in a playful way, although in the end you want to keep it simple and move quickly.

The point is to smooth out the logical process of setting the logistics of the date with some personality and playfulness, nothing more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't try to escalate to pull her to your house on the same night as date 3 if you haven't even kissed her yet. That's reckless advice here for this girl. That's how you blow it by ramping up from 0-60, makes you look confused and inexperienced when what she wants is someone confident and at ease. There is no set dates you need to have sex by, don't get caught about about statistical details. You won't learn anything that way. You guage the pacing of physical connection by each individual girl.

You just respond as a decent caring person but ALSO who has their own life going on and is cool enough that he doesn't care about the outcome. Texting is just for staying in touch so you can set up another meet, that's where you will build the connection. If a day or two passes without any messages don't get in your head, it's not like they have forgotten you exist lol.

With a brand new girl you maybe ask her a 1-2 questions to get the ball rolling on a connection/points of interest and then within hopefully the context of the short conversation ask for a date. I aim to ask within 4-7 messages. Seems to be the sweet spot. My record for securing a date so far is 2 messages, still aiming for the gold medal first message. It's tough though very few women are receptive to that. It doesn't give them a chance to do their cessing out of you.

 

 


"Never held a high regard for Darwin, selection takes too long.
A little kick in the pool shouldn't do us wrong.
Devouring the very last invention man would ever need.
But exponential growth is a frightening thing, indeed.
"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stop with this stupid rules, wait 3 days to text. 

There are all kind of different women, some women prefer to text everyday. 

If she doesn't have high interest, she wont thing about you.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got some real good advice. I feel much more confident texting right now. Thank you guys!

 

As for that girl who cancelled our third date. I'm going to wait for her to set a new date. I'm really tired of pickup and chasing.

 

Also I think it is important to get in touch with my feelings and intuition. I always ask people advice and people give contradicting advice. I feel like I get pulled in every direction. I need to learn to set my own direction.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now