(not) getting laid

[Hulia]

On the other hand I don´t understand the male psychology. They might like stiff, cold and hypocritical women like Swan. They really often do. Even a guy has a teacher as GF. I wonder if she gives him lectures about what is expected of him. And whether he misses them when he is with another girl who likes him how he is. 

[Hulia]

I could easily be a friend with Vzdoh, though I have nothing in common with her. And she is biased, but well who of us is not? As long as she doesn´s impose her biases on other people, I would be perfectly ok with her.

But Teal Swan is ABSOLUTELY NO NO NO!

If she were my colleague I would try to change a department or a company. I had such a colleague once. But luckily she´s become pregnant. By a lawer. It was very important for her that everone knows, she is pregnant by a lawer. How she has everything under control in her life: a lawer, a work, a hippy-type IT guy, who is always there to solve her IT problems and all the other people who absolutely need her advises on everything. Always presented herself like independant  woman with a high self-esteem.

She invited us in restaurant before her maternity vacation. (Our boss payed at the end and she didn´t even say a word). Her lawer came almost an hour later. Fell on the bench on her side with a discontent grimace and began smoking. She - high pregnant, all of us - no smokers. And she didn´t even says something like: Darling. look, I am pregnant, my colleagus don´t smoke, can you go 5 m further to smoke?

I could feel a tension in the air, nobody was comfortable any more. 

[Hulia]

46 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

@Hulia 

I agree on Teal Swan. 

Why my teacher lady bothers you so much? 

Wants to create life with me, smart not so "soft" I like her. 

If you agree on Swan, your not my muchacho any more. It´s better we part our ways at this point. Forget your chica.

Your teacher doesn´t bother me. It´s a scientific interest. I am trying to understand male psychology. Why for example that hippy IT guy was so crazy about my colleague. If he likes this type of women he shouldn´t be hippy. It´s illogical. 

Edited June 16, 2021 by Hulia

[Hulia]

@Zeroguy Now I´ve got it. You agree ON her, not WITH her. ON her WITH me -  you agree. I have problems with these small bridge-words. I thought, you wanted to annoy me. Sinse this is what you always want.

[Hulia]

24 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

@HuliaYeah ,Teal Swan is so great.

Ok on classes ,pretty much am given silent treatment.OK.

She started talking with the other guz infront of me.OK

All predictable.

Patience,patience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patience? Did you tell her, that you have a GF, which you won´t leave? What are you expecting of her? To be your number 2?  Forget it. No woman will be ok with it.

I hope, she´ll find soon a nice BF

[Hulia]

24 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

Since still I am talking with made up people ,just to finish this and shift 100% into financial stuff for the rest of my life .Haha nothing else is really left.It is time to stop with them lol.

 

Wish you well my lady hope you find that cat.

For yourself you preserve a financial stuff, and I should deal with some random cat? I told you million times I don´t want it.

Wish me... idk... travelling... kind of work and travell. Living in different places and different countries. The circumstances are getiing ripe for this kind of life.

[Peter Miklis]

@Hulia I think that fundamental problem with Teal Swan, is the problem of having too many requirements of how should relationships work, to the point where it becomes too perfect.

I think there's something to be said about standards that are set too high. For both men and women. It almost seems like you are some sort of prize, and other people should fit your standards to get you. It's like an invisible, egoistic barier.

But, if we are being honest here, when we take into account what we as men generally like, is Teal Swan really high value and sought after? Can she really consider herself to be a prize, when she's already visibly aging? I think not.

From my observation, the most attractive women are the ones who are fun, friendly, uninhibited, young, physically attractive, who are comfortable with expressing their sexuality, and have standards but simultaneously not too high standards, it doesn't feel like you're dealing with a queen who you need to bow before lol. How many of those things Teal Swan posseses? Maybe two?? of course I'm talking about sexual attraction here, not so much about relationship value, with which women on this forum seem to obsess about.

[Hulia]

@Peter Miklis Why do men on this forum post her videos and are so ineterested in stuff she is talking about? If she isn´t even attractive? If a man would like me to change myself for him (according to his idea of how a general female has to be), I would rather change a man. Not that I am generally not willing to change maself, yes I am! But not in the sense to please somebody - it´s degrading. 

Why so many men on this forum are willing to change themselves because this stiff cold woman wants them to? There is no integrity in her, no empathy. She is absolutely not capable to take the perspective of other person. There exist no other persons for her. Only a theoretical male and a theoretical female. 

Edited June 16, 2021 by Hulia

[Peter Miklis]

@Hulia I think it's bastardization of concept of femininity. Feminine= fragile, emotional, feels the need to be protected and dominated by the masculine, takes care and nurishes new life. That, however, doesn't mean a man is supposed to be your personal utility and credit card. Man is not supposed to be your daddy.

Regarding the fascination, hehehe I don't know honestly. But I can understand why women would addopt this as their strategy, that's pretty understandable for me.

The thing is, women almost always have choices and options, regardless of how good, or shit their personalities are. So, for a woman that's somewhat attractive and already in her 30's/40's, it's very easy to make a simple calculation of 2+2=4. Hey, I can make my standards very high, and simultaneously not lose any options. Seems like win-win.

And then when you ask them what exactly do they bring to the table, the answer is ussually me, my great personality, and sex. Ehm, ok. I guess I'll turn down 20 year old who's giving me "I want to fuck you" eyes, just so I can become credit card to a 40 year old. Sounds like a great deal.

[Hulia]

9 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

So, for a woman that's somewhat attractive and already in her 30's/40's, it's very easy to make a simple calculation of 2+2=4. Hey, I can make my standards very high, and simultaneously not lose any options. Seems like win-win.

I think, the woman of 30-40 just has a heap of broken relationships behind her and an unnerving unwanted husband near her. So she begins the theorization of what went wrong. I came to conclusion it was (partially) sticking to the gender roles, which are a theoretical construct - pure fantasy  - on both sides. I mean in the beginning of relationship to create an attractione, gender roles might be quite useful: he plays a super-hero, she plays a weak and fearful princess. But at some point the both should let this rubbish drop. Becaue fear and weakness is common for both genders on the same scale. Otherwise false expectations, disappointment, bitterness, reproaches and mutual disrespect. She suddenly discovers, he is not a super-hero, and he suddenly doesn´t find his fearful doe any more, but a fireful hyena.

Swan came to the opposite conclusion. The relationships break up because one part (of course it´s a male part) doesn´t stick  hard enough to its role  

I really wonder, how her BF looks like, who is this poor guy?

[Hulia]

@Zeroguy I am going to the lake now (just 5 minutes by the bike from me)

4 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

Is there someone interested in you in your social circle?

Why don´t you ask, is there someone I AM interested in?

[Peter Miklis]

@Hulia Tbh, I subscribed to Teal Swan, just for shits and giggles. And watched that masculine containment video, just to see if there was anything valuable there at all. At first she seemed to make good points, I was like ok, maybe I can incorporate that somehow into my life.

But then she started to list examples of masculine containment. And I couldn't make it to the end? like, sister, you are delusional if you think any man should do this bucket list of yours on a daily basis. Does she really expect bussy, high value men have time for that shit?? it's like.... wake the fuck up lol.

I remember what one woman on this forum said specifically when talking about spliting, or not spliting the bill. One of her arguments for men paying for everything was "let's face it, some men have only a few women interested in them, whereas woman on a date has mostly 50+ guys interested in her. So, why should woman pay her half? He's lower value than her, he should pay for everything." There you go, that right there tells me everything about their mentality. Me, me, me.

Edited June 17, 2021 by Peter Miklis

[Hulia]

I came back from lake - melting and sunburnt. My skin, tight and glistening, from the cold of the water and the heat of the sun, smelling of summer - of seaweed, of sand, of strawberries. 

3 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

Ok will ask but I really hope I am not that guy. 

haha! No! I hope, I didn´t do or say something what would let you think this way. Sorry, you are not my type. Go to your teacher, student. ?

[Hulia]

5 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

"let's face it, some men have only a few women interested in them, whereas woman on a date has mostly 50+ guys interested in her. So, why should woman pay her half? He's lower value than her, he should pay for everything."

It´s not that easy. It would be, if a woman were a man, but she is not. For woman it is not enough to have sex with some body, there should be an emotional connection, otherwise sex is no fun for a woman. And here we are - men and women balanced. With how many of 50+ interested guys can you create an emotional bond? With not so many. At the end we are facing the same problem as you, guys - irregular sex 

Nothing is easy on this planet, for nobody. And the only source of this uneasiness is a physical aspect. We should have been elfs instead of humans.

Edited June 17, 2021 by Hulia

[Peter Miklis]

@Hulia Yeah, obviously for women there's a factor of having children, so they can't just have sex with anyone willy nilly. There needs to be some sort of trust and connection, otherwise it's rape.

Having said that, I just find this solipsistic approach of "take care of me, I'm a little innocent princess" a little disguisting. And it's surprising when it's comming from women on this forum, who are supposed to be more conscious. It's almost like light form of gold digging, except the person doesn't admit it, but instead makes up some theory about masculinity and femininity, and how it's supposed to be this way. 

[Hulia]

10 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

I do bet we both feel the same. 

Lucky you. Last time I felt the same with somebody was 3 years ago with our CEO. Sometimes we said the same thing or joke simultaneously and looked at each other and laughed.. and looked at each other...

But now he has gone. And I have no chance for this type of synchronisity with any man around me, because I am too developed. 

[Hulia]

1 hour ago, Zeroguy said:

To developed or in denial of love? 

Have you noticed that this hyper rational stance you took actually doesn't really bring anything to you in life. 

Still cat. 

It´s not hyper rational, it´s just rational. It means, that I am able to give up rationality for emotional contentment if the situation requires. Because I rationally know what is important and what is not.

[Hulia]

You are speaking out of assumption, that any man is better than no man. It´s understandable, because it´s a men´s perspective. Yes, we both, men and women, need and love sex. But the men are in bigger need than we, because of their physicality. So it might be valid for you : better any woman than no woman. But not for us. 

Speaking about Teal Swan her problem is not so much high expectation (who of us is rationalizing?) but a lack of empathy. And generalization, but it´s the same as lack of empathy - the inability to take other person´s perspective.

[Hulia]

2 hours ago, Hulia said:

Still cat.

Why does it bother you, whether I have a cat or not? Really. You are not very much bothered about other aspects of my life.

[Peter Miklis]

@Zeroguy @Hulia True, but she still makes some valid points in her videos. Even though she has her flaws.