How to deal with trollish comments?

[alomorti]

Hm, giving a fuck about characters displayed on the screen.

Just don't identify with those as it has nothing to do with you.

[mandyjw]

Just now, Preety_India said:

What do I you say to the trolls And naysayers?

Did you face harsh critical judgement like character trashing?

What did you tell them directly in terms of words?

 

I generally ignore them and if I'm bothered I contemplate on my own why I might have attracted the comment. Occasionally if it feels amazing to say just the right thing, I would reply. But generally I know that if I do it out of hurt or reaction or trying to control someone's behavior it just perpetuates it until I do the inner work. I have so many amazing things going on in life, it's not worth my time to pay attention to the .01 that are crap unless I'm cleaning it up for good at the source. 

[Shin]

22 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Shin I disagree with you fully and completely. 

I did absolutely nothing to attract them. 

Saying that is like gaslighting me

 

The fact that trolls exist is already a problem. The problem that they can't be handled effectively is another problem. 

Putting the blame of the problem squarely on me is a nice deflection from the real issue

 

Not a good or fair judgement on your end. 

See how hurt you are right now ?
You assume I'm saying those things to hurt you, but no, I'm telling you cause I'm 99,99% sure it comes from you.

Now I'm not saying that trolls don't exist, and that you magically create them to attack you, I'm saying you exude a certain frequency that attracts them and feed them.
That's OK, a lot of us were there, we all were dysfunctional at some point (I still am), but denying it is not helping you, it only put the blame on something external, which not only doesn't solve the problem, but creates more dissonance in your mind.

Right now you're not seeking how to heal the wounds you have in you, you're seeking someone to blame for them.
I admit that it's hard to see and accept, that you are your own problem, but nothing will ever get solved (for long) if that's not how you decide to live your life.

Stop behaving as if you were a perfect, ego less woman, whom knows everything and is always right,
You're not, and that's OK, no one is any of this thing anyway.

Just stop this masquerade and look within, it's not gonna be pretty, but it's gonna heal you.

 

[Preety_India]

@dflores321 I don't buy that. Expressing a problem is not being a victim. In fact it takes grit to openly express a problem. 

Either you could dismiss me as a victim or you could take it as a constructive problem that needs a thorough constructive solution. 

The choice is yours. 

I did my job of coming forth with the problem. 

 

[RendHeaven]

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Ok I have a question for all the people who talk about empowerment. 

Why does Leo ban trolls?

Why can't he adopt the same strategy?simply ignore trolls right?

What do you think will happen if he simply ignored trolls and didn't ban them?

Wouldn't this place be full of trolls running riot all over the place completely trashing the place with posts meant to bully the heck out of him with baseless criticisms and false accusations?

How will this place look like if it's completely waterlogged with trolls?

Conflation:

Leo bans trolls for the sake of the entire community. He has a collective mission statement to uphold. He doesn't personally care about the troll.

You're wishing to ban trolls for the sake of your personal needs. You have no care for how these trolls affect the mission statement

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Shin said:

Stop behaving as if you were a perfect, ego less woman, whom knows everything and is always right,
You're not, and that's OK, no one is any of this thing anyway.

I have never acted like this. It has nothing to do with me. 

Reaction to a problem is natural. Admitting to a problem is also natural.. 

If everything is wrong about me, then why does a block option exist in the messenger?

Why does an ignore option exist at all if there is no problem and only the  person is attracting it?

I'm looking for a constructive solution, like a technical feature. 

Your words dont apply to me. They are empty. 

I don't need any healing here. I'm looking for a constructive solution to a pesky problem 

 

 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, dflores321 said:

@Preety_India

See the humor In this: 

You: " its takes grit to bring up a problem, I'm not being a victim!" 

Also You: " Dammit! All these trolls always hurting me ?! You're making me angry!" 

 

A reaction to something only helps us understand that something is a problem. 

Don't demonize natural reactions 

 

[Shin]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I have never acted like this. It has nothing to do with me. 

Reaction to a problem is natural. Admitting to a problem is also natural.. 

If everything is wrong about me, then why does a block option exist in the messenger?

Why does an ignore option exist at all if there is no problem and only the  person is attracting it?

I'm looking for a constructive solution, like a technical feature. 

Your words dont apply to me. They are empty. 

I don't need any healing here. I'm looking for a constructive solution to a pesky problem 

 

 

You're seeking a surface level solution to an unsolvable problem.

There will always be people that annoy you, wherever you go and whatever you do (unless you stay at your home, and even then ...).

Better find what annoys you about them, heal that, and not feeling annoyed anymore, that seeking a solution that doesn't exist except as a fantasy in your head.

Edited May 7, 2021 by Shin

[Preety_India]

13 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

Conflation:

Leo bans trolls for the sake of the entire community. He has a collective mission statement to uphold. He doesn't personally care about the troll.

You're wishing to ban trolls for the sake of your personal needs. You have no care for how these trolls affect the mission statement

I'm also a part of the same community. Don't forget that. 

If some troll is impacting me, they might also be impacting others?

In fact there were users who private messaged me venting about the same problem and knowing that there is no solution currently.. 

Am I doing this only for myself?

Absolutely no. I could be helping a lot of people, now and in the future. 

My health is not important?

So if a member is facing a problem  their problem should be ignored? How can you call that a supportive community if individual problems are being ignored?

Today I'm being impacted by this problem. Tomorrow it could be some other user. Of course there are other users who I am personally aware of who are affected by this. Won't take names. 

The only difference is that I decided to go public about it by opening a thread on it. 

Maybe they didn't want to go public because they foresaw the reaction I'm getting here. 

Frankly this is not a supportive community if a person is demonized or blamed for opening up about a problem. 

Have some consideration. 

 

Also this whole thread is a Testament to how a problem doesn't get solved here and no support is given to the person who is pro actively bringing up the problem. 

 

Edited May 7, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Shin said:

You're seeking a surface level solution to an unsolvable problem.

There will always be people that annoy you, wherever you go and whatever you do (unless you stay at your home, and even then ...).

Better find what annoys you about them, heal that, and not feeling annoyed anymore, that seeking a solution that doesn't exist except as a fantasy in your head.

I don't believe this. 

I think constructive and technical solutions are needed. 

It's not some simple problem of being annoyed or all that 

 

It's a problem that must have a proper solution. Not a perfect solution but a substantial solution. 

Don't think of this me being injured. 

Think of me giving feedback about this forum 

 

[RendHeaven]

@Preety_India I'm curious, why do you think you get a bunch of negative PMs?

I've never experienced that myself.

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

I don't believe this. 

I think constructive and technical solutions are needed. 

It's not some simple problem of being annoyed or all that 

 

It's a problem that must have a proper solution. Not a perfect solution but a substantial solution. 

Don't think of this me being injured. 

Think of me giving feedback about this forum 

 

 

In your case, you don't want those solutions because it is a real problem of this forum (so far no one else created a post for that), but because you don't want to look inside and solve this problem internally.

You can bullshit yourself all you want, but eventually you'll have to do this you know

[Mason Riggle]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

It's a problem that must have a proper solution. Not a perfect solution but a substantial solution. 

Don't think of this me being injured. 

Think of me giving feedback about this forum 

 

If you're a member of the forum, the best 'solution' is to simply ignore Trolls.. without receiving the attention they want, the Trolls will seek it out elsewhere. 

Leo and the Mods have other tools at their discretion to weed out members who they feel are abusing the forum or behaving in an unacceptable manner. 

These are two substantial solutions, and the proper ones.  

Edited May 7, 2021 by Mason Riggle

[Bando]

Don't post personal stuff on the forum unless its in your journal, its ok to do it sometimes but making a habit out of it paints you in a certain light and opens you up for attack also you seem to give Leo a lot of your authority in some of your posts which can give people the impression that your just taking his words as an ideology and not taking the time to contemplate and implement the stuff in your own life

[Preety_India]

Ok as a general reply, at this point i am going to have to stop 

I don't like this back and forth that I'm doing with you guys. It's not leading anywhere. 

Now to @Leo Gura.. If he does something about this as a long term solution, then well and good. 

If he doesn't do anything about it, then I would just think that all my effort in bringing light to a problem and also suggesting some technical ideas was simply a waste of my effort. 

Alright. I end it here. 

  

I'm not replying anymore because so far most replies and reactions are hinged on looking away from the problem rather than looking at the problem. 

By the way, some mods who I have communicated with  already know that this a problem 

This is not something out of the blue. 

You guys can keep arguing among yourselves.. 

I can enjoy some TV in the meantime. 

Have a nice day everyone. Peace out. ✌️

 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Mason Riggle said:

If you're a member of the forum, the best 'solution' is to simply ignore Trolls.. without receiving the attention they want, the Trolls will seek it out elsewhere. 

Leo and the Mods have other tools at their discretion to weed out members who they feel are abusing the forum or behaving in an unacceptable manner. 

These are two substantial solutions, and the proper ones.  

I kinda agree with you more than others 

You provided some constructive feedback thanks. 

Still if someone has technical solutions  that would be great too.. Will wait for that 

 

[alomorti]

Seems that your ego is the problem.

Just let it go. Watching TV might help  

Edited May 7, 2021 by alomorti

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, dflores321 said:

@Preety_India No one is doing this though ?. 

Really hope you figure this out for yourself though. 

Victim mentalitys a real bitch. 

The hardest part is to accept it, but apparently she's stuck real good.

Being nice to her isn't working, but being an ass either, maybe a huge heartbreak could do the trick (you go ) !

[Mason Riggle]

@Preety_India the others on here are trying to tell you the same thing I am.  You can't change the Trolls, and it's an endless game to ban every single one.. there will always be more. What YOU can do, is change your reaction to them.  By recognizing how your actions 'feed the Trolls', even though, yes, they started it, you can learn to behave in ways that are not 'attractive' to Trolls, either initially, or after they have engaged with you. 

Imagine if it was unwanted positive attention you were getting.. perhaps some guy you are totally not interested in kept showering you with affection, and telling you how pretty your are, and always showed up on your posts to remind you how smart and wonderful you are to the point where you're sick of it.... what would be your recourse to this??  Have the mods tell him to quite being so nice?? Ban him for the constant compliments? 

Eventually you will have to come to the realization that the only thing you can do is ignore them, until eventually, they no longer get the attention they are looking for. 

Edited May 7, 2021 by Mason Riggle

[Preety_India]

@Mason Riggle why should I change my behavior? Why shouldn't I just be myself and true to myself?

Why should I adjust to the trolls?

Am living for them or am I living for myself?

This is like saying don't kill the pests in the home. Learn to live with them and adjust with them. 

No. I think you need pest control.