Not knowing what to do with knowing I do not know.

[mw711]

I can’t really seem to understand anything. If somebody brings up a topic I can talk about it and recall aspects and so forth but when I’m alone I don’t really understand anything - and it will honestly just feels I’m fooling myself into thinking I am making points and know something when speaking to others.

Obviously, at the very least, I know that I do not know. But other than that it feels like limbo. Even typing this now I’m not quite sure what I am trying to say - yet I am not too bothered by this phenomenon, mostly, and often times it actually makes things feel ‘fresh.’ 
 

But other times I wonder wtf anything even is. All of the work I have put in thinking about enlightenment, the universe, etc. and all of the time I have tried to not think about it as well - it feels like I am left with nothing. I do not understand anything and my curiosity wants answers - bad.

I feel like I could be either of these monks in this limbo.

Anyone else?

Any advice to ‘cross over’ or just have to accept what feel like endless confusion?

Are people like Leo and others that are enlightened always feeling this confused? Is that what also makes them seem so certain?

Edited March 13, 2021 by mw711

[Tim R]

5 minutes ago, mw711 said:

Anyone else?

We all, at some point. 

The monk on the right got the point. Reality is no problem/puzzle, unless you decide to make it one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[Gesundheit]

Seems like the last step, regarding realization.

Passing through the gateless gate. Or in other words, accepting not-knowing as the ultimate truth.

[AdamR95]

@mw711 I am feeling the same way, but i am aware its the ego who is confused and is attached to knowing and thinking. I believe it will pass and ego will accept the limitations of knowing and be more peacefull afterwards.

[AdamR95]

3 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Seems like the last step, regarding realization.

Passing through the gateless gate. Or in other words, accepting not-knowing as the ultimate truth.

This feels so right.

[Nahm]

@mw711

Missing the meaningless magic of creating something from nothing. 

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

Seems like the last step, regarding realization.

Passing through the gateless gate. Or in other words, accepting not-knowing as the ultimate truth.

the last step to settle down and rest in the void. the bondages of the need to interpret and know are strong, they expel you from the void at every moment, like a kind of magnetism that repels you. 

[Gesundheit]

5 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

the last step to settle down and rest in the void. the bondages of the need to interpret and know are strong, they expel you from the void at every moment, like a kind of magnetism that repels you. 

Correct, but I think what you said has more to do with embodiment than with realization. I'm not there yet, even though I've glimpsed it before. It's really hard to embody in practice.

[mw711]

5 hours ago, Nahm said:

@mw711

Missing the meaningless magic of creating something from nothing. 

@Nahm
 

How does one recover it?

I presume by forgetting the ‘I’ that is trying to.

 

 

 

[Guru Fat Bastard]

If you know something,do you know that you know? If you know nothing,do you know that you do not know?
In other words,if you know something, are you aware of knowing it? If you know nothing, are you aware that you do not know it?
Therefore what is,is beyond knowing and not knowing.Whether you know or do not know,is there any change in that which is ever present yet beyond knowing and not knowing?

Edited March 14, 2021 by Guru Fat Bastard

[mw711]

11 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Correct, but I think what you said has more to do with embodiment than with realization. I'm not there yet, even though I've glimpsed it before. It's really hard to embody in practice.

@Gesundheit @Breakingthewall
 

If he means embodiment, opposed to realization, I could still see it for realization as well.

For me, at least, I feel that I’m blocking myself from a realization I’ve glimpsed because of my curiosity and need to understand what can not be; I assume.

 

[James123]

@mw711 not knowing is the highest certainty. Absolutely true. Confusion is just a thought, not even. However, it seems too early for you.  Go step by step. 

[neovox]

the feeling of discomfort, not knowing, something lacking. When you feel that arise in you, go to a comfortable place alone without distractions. Sit. Feel that discomfort and relax your body and mind as you experience the feeling. Try not to create any stories in your mind about anything. Don't reach for any distractions. Try to experience just the sensation without adding opinion, labels, narrative, but its ok if you can't. Sit with just you and the discomfort for as long as you judge reasonable. Repeat this process as needed. Do this at your comfort and don't make it too difficult. You're going for acceptance of whatever you're experiencing. It maybe extremely difficult. Keep trying. Try not to resist anything. Remain still and as calm as possible. If you find yourself fighting it, quit for the time being. Give yourself plenty of time and patients and compassion. You're perfect right now just the way you are. There is really no need to change anything, other than you wish it so.

 

 

Edited March 14, 2021 by neovox

[mw711]

1 hour ago, Guru Fat Bastard said:

If you know something,do you know that you know?

-No never; I’ll act like I do though, depending on the narrative of my confidence.

If you know nothing,do you know that you do not know?

-Yes, unless I do know and I am keeping it from myself.

In other words,if you know something, are you aware of knowing it?

-I am aware I think I know it; if I do.

If you know nothing, are you aware that you do not know it?

-Were you asking if I know or do not know here? That I do not know.

Therefore what is,is beyond knowing and not knowing.Whether you know or do not know,is there any change in that which is ever present yet beyond knowing and not knowing?

-no

@Guru Fat Bastard

1 hour ago, Guru Fat Bastard said:

[AdamR95]

You can be aware of "knowing" happening to "you"

but you cant really know, you can only be

 

[Gesundheit]

43 minutes ago, AdamR95 said:

You can be aware of "knowing" happening to "you"

but you cant really know, you can only be

There's also the temptation to control the narrative, which is the hardest thing to get over, in my experience. I haven't been able to let go of all narratives except for brief periods of time. The rest of the time, I have some narratives running deep down in the subconscious mind. Even in the deepest states of meditation, it's still hard. The mind is conditioned by, accustomed to, and comfortable with false knowing. I know this as truth in theory, but cannot really make it a reality yet.

Edited March 14, 2021 by Gesundheit

[neovox]

Cultivating a genuine comfort with not knowing is a good practice for anyone. Its a healthy place to dwell. Its when you find yourself knowing with certainty that should make you uncomfortable

How to cultivate comfort with not knowing; 1) do nothing

                                                                               2) observe 

[Nahm]

@mw711

Make a dreamboard. Write what you want. It starts happening. 

[Someone here]

@mw711 yes you have absolutely no idea what anything is. 

The good news.. That everyone also has no idea what anything is. Lol

[AdamR95]

29 minutes ago, Someone here said:

 

The good news.. That everyone also has no idea what anything is. Lol

Why is that good news? lol

 

Edited March 14, 2021 by AdamR95