Something casual

[Gesundheit2]

The gates opened for me once. It was anger. I keep it in my pocket. Sometimes I lose it. Find it, then lose it. Bigger plans in background, should not overthink. Bitch you don't even think that much. So then what is the point? Tautology. Enjoy the grind. Words coming in. Not my choice. Vessel. Whatever. It's never been otherwise. Dadadadada.

[Gesundheit2]

Why am I writing? How am I feeling? I don't ask too often. I just follow the instructions. I don't do anything seriously these days. Half-assing through life seems to work. Better than assing, I guess. But not really. Turn your back, your ass. Nobody cares. Exist, or don't. Still nothing changes. But you're here. Doing what you're supposed to be doing. All is well. Hippy nonsense. All is hell. Ask anyone. Ask yourself. How are you feeling? Now? I guess I don't know. It's starting to come together again. Making sense. Oh, yeah. It's me! That's it! Why am I writing? Huh?

[Gesundheit2]

No self, no problem.

Yes self, also no problem.

[Gesundheit2]

Enlightenment aside, I don't think I've ever experienced better times than 2010's World Cup. It was literally my absolute peak experience before things went down to hell.

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gesundheit2]

My personality type is GOD. Period.

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gesundheit2]

Joseph thinks there's value in personality models.

???

[Gesundheit2]

I am not a disagreeable person. It's just that after a certain level of insight it becomes really hard to agree with perspectives that lack enough nuance, which is like 96.69% of perspectives. It's because there's an insight gap between me and others. I do understand them, but they can't even really understand what I say, let alone understand me. This happens both in real life and online. People don't understand much of what I say unless I break it down and really bring it down to their level. And I don't even talk much abstraction. Really, most of what I say is very down-to-earth. It's just that people are too deaf to hear and too blind to see. And on top of that, many of them are entitled, especially the younger they are, so they expect everything to be delivered to them ready for consumption, those lazy entitled narcissistic hippies. I just can't help but love them

[Gesundheit2]

I am crazy, irrational, biased, and stupid. But I wear the masks of logic, rationality, science, and intelligence.

[Gesundheit2]

Life is never static, but it can appear so if certain conditions are met. There's no recipe for living life properly. You gotta come up with one for yourself and keep sharpening it all the time. Though, there are recipes for living life improperly. To live properly, you have to be at least informed, hyper aware, and intelligent. Lack in any of these traits will fuck you up if those conditions I talked about earlier aren't met.

Edited June 3, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Gesundheit2]

Woke up at 2 am. No electricity. Waited till around 5. Watched the sunrise. Saw God. Then I decided to go on a morning walk. Walked for about 3 hours all throughout the city. Meditated and listened to music. Then at the park near home, I played football with two youths for about 30 minutes, and I got exhausted. Whatever the fuck happened to my stamina?! I mean I'm not the best football player, but today my level was cringy and clumsy at best. I haven't been playing for ages, nor have I even been doing any regular sports either other than walking. Still, it was a draw in the end. I enjoyed it so much. It reminded me of the meaning of life. No man should ever spend a day in his life without doing sports. Men have to sweat. Sport is healthy. And I thought my health was perfect before. Turns our there are higher levels of health even. Dammit, God! And God dammit! My health is already great but it's nowhere close to where it can and should be. I'm living in toxic conditions that limit my ability to becoming the best human ever, physically and mentally. I can't wait to end this nonsense and live up to my fullest potential. Soon everything will be perfect. Start your timer. You'll see.

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gesundheit2]

Masculine = Mask of lying.

Nice!

[Gesundheit2]

Quote

We all need people who see us.  Otherwise, there's not really true value in the relation for you.  There's no boost.   There's no inspiration there.  You feel like you're the one who has to inspire.  There's a lot of people who feel like they inspire but don't receive enough inspiration (from others).

However, when we come from a place of abundance, we take care of others too.  But -- we all need support!  Even those of us who think we're strong.  Others can give us energy that we don't provide for ourselves.  Sometimes all we need is to break through a certain barrier and one concerned comment, well placed, can give us the boost we need to break through.

-- Joseph Maynor

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gesundheit2]

Oh, my God! I'm having my worst fear realized. My mom thinks that I'm a hippy.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

[Gesundheit2]

@Loba (Posting here, cuz thread got locked).

I honestly don't think I could have ever recovered without your writings. Most of the content out there is in one direction, your contents is in another, and it stands out. It gives me the balance I'm looking for. At a surface level, one might think that you don't have a lot to offer, because you don't often flaunt much logical understanding that most people cater to and consume. But in reality, you do understand logic, better than most as I see it, and at the same time you see and understand patterns/non-logic, which is something not everyone is capable of. Actually, I don't know any people who are capable of the latter, let alone both together. The value I get from reading you is non-linear, so it's not like "Oh, yeah. That makes sense." It's more like "This doesn't make much sense logically at least for now, but maybe it will someday or in some other way." And so with time, it actually does. The alchemical transformation you talk about is legit, it has been since the early days of your older journal. Your writings showcase that in themselves and in others who read them (my experience at least), with time and patience and open-mindedness.

You are a great writer, because you are genuine, honest, and have a great mind-heart-body integration. Thank you, honestly. Keep on doing what you love, even if the world is not ready for it yet, as long as it resonates with you. You're a goldmine. And if anyone is lucky enough, they will stumble on your journals and maybe they'll learn something if they are ready.

Edited June 6, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Gesundheit2]

13 hours ago, Loba said:

I'm glad I helped you, what did you recover from?

So many things you helped me with, hard to remember them all, but most of them had to do mostly with my feminine side, shadow, and subconscious mind. Here are some:

• Nihilism and lack of meaning.
• Integration of my past spiritual experiences.
• Self-hatred projected both inwards and outwards.
• Cynicism, lack of positive outlook on life and people, and lack of compassion.
• Being overly critical of everything and everyone, including myself.
• Self-image issues, and what people might think of me.
• Needing to be right and to defend myself and image.
• Being stuck in perceiving persons rather than patterns of intelligence.
• Emotional stability.
• Co-dependency and attachment.
• The whole soul-mates concept and how humans romanticize romance haha.
• And let's not forget about my sister who's completely functional now, meds-free, and even better than before. In fact I have another appointment today (she's a dentist). Now we all joke about that period and she makes fun of herself too. We refer to it "the lettuce phase" as a metaphor for being lost inside the grooves of a lettuce, like a labyrinth or something haha!

Though, I wouldn't say it's the words that you write create the effects by themselves alone, but in trying to understand you it's more like the words become a portal to your inner truth and a medium to a higher wisdom, same with the images and music.

13 hours ago, Loba said:

You're a great writer as well

I try ?

I actually borrow some of your style because I like how expressive and smooth it is.

Quote

You like to mull things over and come to a resolution when you feel it is best rather than going with the crowd - you are a unique individual and you don't let anyone decide for you on what to think or anything like that.

Thank you, you're as unique and more ?

[AtheisticNonduality]