Little confused: what to now???

[Username]

After having a good 5 MeO DMT breakthrough something cracked open. I'm able to have a short but powerful nondual experiences on the daily basis. It's enough to lay on a bed, inhale deeply few times and push the air in the right spot - it kicks me out of body. It's very similar to 5 MeO in nature but lasts probably few seconds. Definitely much stronger than anything I was experience on LSD.

The issue is that I'm not fully comfortable. There is always a feeling of terror. I also have an impression it's just a release of trapped energy. I can push this energy only once, than there is no potential energy left to repeat that.

Overally my consciousness level is quite low. I feel anxious, have very short attention span - maybe I just became more aware of that. Things just do not feel as smooth as they should be and I fell energetically dirty. My impression is that I should do some kind cleansing before attempting 5 MeO DMT again. I ordered some Armodafinil, I hope it will give me some leverage to overcome me bad habits.

If I remember well I had 3 g of 5 MeO DMT - enough to use it on a weekly basis to burn karma/energy blocks. However my intuition tells me that it will only destabilize me even more.

Any advices? 

[Leo Gura]

Lay down the pipe and do some manual spiritual work.

But how???

Figure it out!

[Preety_India]

I think you need a bit of polishing to do.. 

Do a lot of contemplation before going on these trips 

That's what I did. That way you're better prepared. 

[Thought Art]

Yeah, I am full of energy too. I am in a deep deep deep pain. My whole body hurts. I've been doing lots of Yoga and Qigong (which is amazing)

Remember to broaded out and overtime develop a holistic pedagogy that allows you to be in 100% alignment and well being. Everything else is delusion.

Make sure you have someone around you who is aware you are tripping, what the substance is and that you might not always be 'logical' or 'sane' throughout the integration.

Delusions I myself and working through.

 

Edited December 5, 2020 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

@Username I don't know the truth. But the planet is a scary place to be right now and we all need to come together to figure it out.

[73809]

All things are transient. This terror won’t last. Give it some time to settle out, and make sure to meditate.

[Username]

This is a venting thread but I also hope to get some good ideas.

@Leo Gura @Preety_India I feel that I did enough contemplation, currently my body is the biggest problem. I stopped overthinking, my anxiety is stored in the body. I'm trying to improve my surroundings, diet and started working out more often. I still have some addictions (like caffeine) that make me anxious.

I hope that intense physical exercises will force to move and release stuck energy. It might be more effective than kriya yoga. I am also planning to go back doing vipassana again.

[Girzo]

@Username I am 100% positive that in your situation physical Hatha yoga will do more good than Kriya yoga. Go for it.

[Carl-Richard]

Find out what causes the terror.

[Thought Art]

@Username I am finding the more 5meo I do is like waking up in a dead body ahahah... my whole body feels like it is rewiring. My whole body hurts! Years of not taking proper physical, emotional and energetic maintenance 

Edited December 5, 2020 by Thought Art

[Username]

@Thought Art Yes. It's like I have more energy but body isn't ready for that. I just did some vipassana and my whole body was tingling. I can also relate to abusing my physical / energetical / emotional body. There are still many tensions in my body which make me irritable. Taking care and maintaining symmetry of my body was one of the most important lessons from my trips.

My last low dose LSD trip was like reiki healing I went through all of parts of my body searching for tensions and then I was releasing each energy block. You are right about the dead body. It feels like my body is an anchor that keeps me in old ways of living.

Sadly I have nobody to talk about my experiences. My family definitely wouldn't be supportive of me "taking drugs". My friendships are rather inactive.

@73809 @Girzo I already feel some improvements. My body is definitely less stiff and yesterday when I had my nondual experiences I wasn't that bad. The only issue is that my mind is sooooo much cleaner than it used to be, but I'm still anxious and irritable, so I'm not able to experience those benefits.

@Carl-Richard If something kicks you out of body in less than second it might be scary ? I suppose it is just my ego being burned by the energy.

[diamondpenguin]

Looks like you just got to go back the ol drawing board and do some thinking. I certainly don't think things through enough in life. I usually just kinda feel my way through things. What do you all do to navigate life?

[Username]

@diamondpenguin I used to be an overthinker - typical INTP trait. However my method for figuring out what I want in a long term was intuition. I imagined something and then I let the movie play and see what happens. Now I do what feels right.

I realized that maybe the reason for my current short attention span. Currently I'm trying to sort out my financial situation. I'm not able to pursue my "life purpose", so I'm less passionate about what I'm doing. This kills the momentum.

[PeaceOut96]

@Username Hey man, I have also become my consciouss of my body and all the tension and blocks, its really one of the main obstacles for me now, and for off course the hyper active monkey mind also, not complety in Nomind yet, sometimes I get it. But really I am with you on finding some good ways of realising these energy blocks. I have been practising Shamanic breathing with the intention of releasing these blocks, I see a potentiel in this method, but is quite hard to do. Its takes alot of practise. So I am really interessed if u find some good methods, cheers, hope u solve this problem

[Username]

I think I made some improvements. HIIT and weight lifting helps me to enegize my body. I will try to reorganize my day - wake up earlier and start my day with exercises.

Exercises help to enegize but there is still a lot of tension in my body - it doesn't help it nearly at all. Some physical form of yoga is definitely needed.

I also found this video

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aQyVUxcKbWU

It seems that I have a domince of Ida. Probably this is my real issue.

[Username]

I think that I solved my issue ?

I started using Armodafinil (1/2 pill three times a week) which seems to raise my permanent level of consciousness. I started noticing that even a small amount of caffeine from coffee make me slightly energetic but significantly decrease my attention span. It doesn't feel healthy anymore.

I still drink an equivalent of ~2,5 espressos a day. However every time I do it I feel it makes me anxious instantly - even if it's just a half of espresso. What I used to do was drinking a coffee, when effects of caffeine were wearing off I would drink another one to maintain a stable level of anxiety.

I don't think that it was a caffeine that was my real problem. I wasn't able to sustain high level of consciousness I had to do something  compulsive to lower it.

Oh. Sleeping on my left side also seems to improve my energy levels.

Edited February 1, 2021 by Username