Sadomasochistic attraction to Dominant Males

[Preety_India]

15 minutes ago, modmyth said:

I read your other posts too, what's happening in your country makes me really sad.  

I'm fed up arguing with these people trying to explain them the point I'm driving forward. Sexual repression is a real thing and can deprive a woman so badly and make her even fear sex altogether. 

I'm glad you understand me. It helps to know that someone understands the situation. 

 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I'm leaving this thread. Enough. 

(I was asking for support and advice and not judgement) 

Some of the guys totally derailed the thread. 

Don't quote or mention me. Not interested in replying to this thread anymore. Please respect requests. 

 

[Preety_India]

@modmyth... You're an awesome woman. Hard to find women like you. 

Cheers. 

 

 

 

[Gesundheit]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

How is a woman being sexually free toxic to the collective?

Look, lady. Just because it's your thread, doesn't mean we can't have tangent discussions. I asked a question for something entirely unrelated to you or your thread, but somewhat a tangent of it. I meant to ask it for my own self. What if my self-expression is toxic to the collective? I am asking this because I experience criminal thoughts sometimes.

Just relax a little bit, okay? No one is targeting you.

[Gesundheit]

1 hour ago, bejapuskas said:

Some really do. I know a girl from Bangladesh who got married at 19 to a guy her parents chose for her and she feels good about it actually. She is actually sad that her friends started to judge her after this happened. I guess it is not impossible for women to agree with patriarchy. But at the moment I don't think there is a country in this world without patriarchy and it can be very toxic, even though I sometimes have difficulties distinguishing between when it is women victimizing themselves too much and when it is an actual issue. 

Touché!

It's just ideology at the end of the day, not different from any other ideology. My ancestors have been living with that kind of thinking regarding marriage for hundreds of years. It's only now that women are getting upset about it because they're being exposed to western ideologies. Not that any ideology is better than the other in my opinion, that's another issue. The issue here is that most feminists invent their own suffering just because they don't realize their ideology and self-bias. A lot of people confuse equality for truth, when in fact they're two different things. And before someone comes here and attacks me; I am a feminist and I support equality. But that doesn't prevent me from seeing my own biases and acknowledging them, and it most definitely does not make me confuse my agendas for reality.

[Raze]

48 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Ok I'm really fed up and I give up. I don't have words to describe how I feel. 

Some of you guys are actually defending the oppression of women in oppressive countries. Unbelievable. 

And some of you are defending the sexual repression of women. 

I am just disgusted by this display of a very myopic vision of women and such misogyny. 

And you guys talk about practicing spirituality. All spirituality goes to the drain when you cannot even respect the gender from whose vagina you were born from. 

Carry on with your women oppressive views. I haven't got whole day to argue with yall. 

This whole thread went to the drain. 

Carry on with your shaming. I'm done. 

That wasn't my intent, I was just trying to encourage open-mindedness. I am sorry about your personal problems, I know you can't afford therapy but maybe consider saving up for it or seeing if you can get a payment plan. From what I know IFS therapy is almost designed specifically to deal with issues like patterns of being attracted to or repelled by certain things and unwiring them.

[Loving Radiance]

15 hours ago, Emerald said:

So, if this desire for surrender presents itself as a fetish towards rape and other forms of exploitation, it's an indication that the woman is actually having trouble aligning with her feminine side and surrendering. It is a sign that her feminine and masculine side are in a fight.

Quote

So, if this desire for dominance presents itself as a fetish towards rape and other forms of exploitation, it's an indication that the man is actually having trouble aligning with his mastuline side and domineering. It is a sign that his masculine and feminine side are in a fight.

Is this also the case for males considering the culture?

 

[Nahm]

@Preety_India

Hope you don’t mind me asking....

Someone let me know that they found the Christmas Vacation post / humor offensive, in the sense it implies I actually support rape, and or condone other people who do. The humor was only as if the sex in my marriage was so over the top hardcore that I was surprised there were people out there who could even possibly be experiencing otherwise. Did you see the humor there, or did you take that as if I was somehow saying Electrobeam is a liar, and that I support or was condoning rape? 

[Preety_India]

@Nahm which post. Show me. 

 

[Nahm]

13 hours ago, electroBeam said:

But acting like every woman or man likes BDSM and rape fantasy is incorrect. It is a generalization. The are men and women out there who would take deeply intimate, loving, caring sort of sex(the type you see when you type "passionate romantic" in porn sites) over BDSM a thousand times over.

 

8 hours ago, Nahm said:

 

 

[Preety_India]

13 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Preety_India

Hope you don’t mind me asking....

Someone let me know that they found the Christmas Vacation post / humor offensive, in the sense it implies I actually support rape, and or condone other people who do. The humor was only as if the sex in my marriage was so over the top hardcore that I was surprised there were people out there who could even possibly be experiencing otherwise. Did you see the humor there, or did you take that as if I was somehow saying Electrobeam is a liar, and that I support or was condoning rape? 

Yea I saw the post just now. 

No not at all. It's not offensive at all. I get the humor and I chuckled. And no it doesn't imply that Electrobeam is lying. It's just a light hearted joke given the kind of sex you had, it's obvious that you thought that way. 

That post doesn't support rape in any way. 

I think people here are so confused about rape and rape fantasy that it's almost comical 

 

 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

@Nahm I guess it was misconstrued. Sorry you were blamed for it. 

 

[Nahm]

@Preety_India

Me too. Much appreciated, thank you. ?? 

[electroBeam]

@Nahm if deep down you're concerned about any deficiencies i may have in my relationships or love life, i won't get offended if you let me know. In fact deep down i knew originally you were just concerned i wasn't living up to my full sexual potential, and you were just leading up to offering me an educational video with props to help us struggling beta males out...

Edited November 25, 2020 by electroBeam

[Preety_India]

@electroBeam I'm sorry you felt offended but you're a nice male. 

 

 

[Nahm]

@electroBeam

Appreciating the multidimensional humor, not touching that with a ten foot pole. 

[electroBeam]

1 minute ago, Nahm said:

@electroBeam

Appreciating the multidimensional humor, not touching that with a ten foot pole. 

I hope that's not the one you use...

Jks cant help myself tonight 

[Preety_India]

@Nahm  @electroBeam 

Hahahaha. That Christmas vacation gif was very funny to be honest. Reminded me of the Thanksgiving holiday season.

This year Thanksgiving is going to be so comical with some people deciding whether to invite people or not for dinner, it's funny how trapped we are with this whole covid thing that Thanksgiving might feel like an alien experience. 

It truly is adorable though how we can really appreciate even little casual moments in times such as these.

Its like all love light laughter until a virus comes along. Bwahahaha. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

3 hours ago, tsuki said:

This is how early childhood trauma may express itself in sexuality. When you peel the persona off and are very vulnerable, such behaviors may surface which can be confusing. I am glad that you are aware that this pattern is unhelpful and draw a line between it an healthy sexuality.

It may have come about because one of your parents did not respect your boundaries as a child or infant and you had to misconstrue the definition of love so that it incorporates such behavior. Depending on how early this happened, it may be intellectual, or not. An infant does not think in words, it starts off by learning how to create emotions and they express various things, including attraction and love.  When this pattern has manifested for a long time, the intellect may work in reverse, to justify the emotional need for such treatment by a sexual partner.

What has to be understood (intellectually at first) is that playing these fantasies out will never satisfy you because it is rooted in falsehood and confusion. Your inner infant does not want to be mistreated, but rather taken care of and loved, but it has associated that with being violated so it asks for violation, rather than actual love. This is why indulgence in these kinds of fantasies are scary and unsatisfactory, even if they are very exciting. The infant will create emotions that incentivise seeking it, but it is ultimately not what it wants. You have to understand that children will adapt to their parents to get love or the closest approximation.

What is also important to note is that this mistreatment by a parent is not necessarily about hitting you, or acts of physical violence. For example, you may have shown signs of being overstimulated and your mother did not read this properly and tried to interact with you past your limits. This is subtle because infants are very sensitive. You can read about early childhood trauma to learn more about that. What gives PTSD to infants is different from what gives PTSD to soldiers.

What ultimately needs to happen is that you have to see this impulse for what it really is. When these emotions arise, you have to name them clearly. Seeking brutality from your partner is never something that you should be doing. This is not love, this is violence. It sends mixed signals and deters both of you from building a stable relationship with a single, unified direction.

I am not advocating for denying the fact that you have these fantasies. On the contrary - you should explore them, but consciously, and with presence. You have to really see for yourself whether it is what you want or not. Do you feel joy as it happens? Does it satisfy your thirst for it? Do you feel connected to your partner and feel that you can trust him? Why do you feel guilty for having these thoughts? Why is it not socially acceptable? Why do you fear telling these fantasies to your partner even if he's close to you and could hurt you by rejecting them? There are hundreds of questions like those that can be asked and answered and will reveal to you what this impulse is. Healthy sexuality helps build intimacy and trust and is in line with the general outlook of a relationship.

That made a lot of sense. Thanks for your post. Really helps. 

[tsuki]

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

That made a lot of sense. Thanks for your post. Really helps. 

@Preety_India You are very welcome.