Don't trust my mind anymore

[Just Do Nothing]

On 04/11/2020 at 6:10 PM, Barbara said:

Hey so, recently I feel like I can’t or shouldn’t trust my mind for making decisions, having opinions, or taking a position. I guess I’m stuck in a counterproductive relativism (?) is that a thing?
About having opinions I understand how it’s like a good thing to not have the urge to have those, but I’m struggling to make practical decisions. For example, I’m in university, taking law but I don’t like it, or at least, I think I don’t… I can’t even no longer say if I like it or not, since our minds are so malleable and under great external influence.

Let’s say I don’t like it tho. I’m finishing it next year and I want to find something to do. I would like it to be aligned with my purpose (which btw, haven’t found yet), but can I even trust the content of my purpose?
Does anyone identify with this? Am I looking the wrong way? I’m seriously confused. Any recommendations on books, podcasts, or videos on this topic (Leo's or other).

Thank you for your attention 

Do whatever you feel like. Follow your heart. 

 

I studied sound engineering at University. Done year one and two and was on track for a first... I tried a gap year. Came back depressed and suspended studies. Tried again for third year but was too suicidal so I went a robbed a bank and done time in prison. 

https://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/crime/gambling-addict-25-jailed-after-threatening-portsmouth-tsb-bank-clerks-10-inch-kitchen-knife-ps450-robbery-99930

Life can be funny. Just follow your heart. 

 

We learn from our suffering and I learned a hell of a lot while suffering and incarcerated. 

[Barbara]

@Nahm Nahm. I've read your comment many times. I've thought about it. Studied it. Read once more. Felt it. Now it leaves me in tears, honestly. I feel that this thread was completely life-transforming for me. My perception literally changed. What you, Leo, and others said, plus Leo's vids set me free from a rationalist, mechanic, and flimsy paradigm, I didn't even know I was in. I feel more unified with myself. Feel I can trust my feelings and intuition. Only now have to learn their language and distinguish it from ego being sketchy. My heart is bigger than my chest. Know how much your insights clarify things for me, and how grateful I am, for your contribution. Thank you. I wish the absolute best for your journey. 

Thank you @Leo Gura, for positively transforming my life. You've made yourself the greatest human being. Thank you for inspiring and guiding me and us. 

[Nahm]

@Barbara

Too kind.

Wishing you the best as well. I agree, great thread, so much light coming through. We can say at the very least Leo has now changed two lives. ? ?? 

[Loving Radiance]

On 5.11.2020 at 0:41 AM, Barbara said:

Find it hard to comprehend heart’s language.

Stop several times throughout the day and ask yourself what you want in this moment. Feel into what you want right now and it will present itself as a good feeling. There might be critical or hindering thoughts attached to it, which can be let go of.

I like to make an important "decision" a few minutes later after an initial idea/suggestion to hear my calling. It helps to get still and let the dust fall down to see clearly. It's like temporarily laying something down and picking it up again later on. Feel into an inspiration for days, weeks and months and see it manifesting as just goodness.

While contemplating using my journal I also get still and "listen to" the blank space. There is always something manifesting, which is distinct from a thought, however the insight then is expressed as a thought or an abstract collection of thought-images.

Edited November 6, 2020 by Loving Radiance

[Barbara]

@Loving Radiance Pleasant suggestion, immensely appreciate it. Enormous power, earing those blank spaces. 

Warm regards 

[Origins]

@Barbara On such a big decision I'd literally meditate with whatever best method you had and wouldn't stop meditating until my intuition informed me what to do. Prior to meditation I'd prime myself on all of my important experiences there and potential options outside of that then just sit there with the meditation method and trust that my subconscious is going to reveal the answer to me by the end of the meditation session (which could be as long as a few seconds to 10+ hours).

[Applegarden]

On 2020.11.6. at 8:15 PM, Barbara said:

@Nahm Nahm. I've read your comment many times. I've thought about it. Studied it. Read once more. Felt it. Now it leaves me in tears, honestly. I feel that this thread was completely life-transforming for me. My perception literally changed. What you, Leo, and others said, plus Leo's vids set me free from a rationalist, mechanic, and flimsy paradigm, I didn't even know I was in. I feel more unified with myself. Feel I can trust my feelings and intuition. Only now have to learn their language and distinguish it from ego being sketchy. My heart is bigger than my chest. Know how much your insights clarify things for me, and how grateful I am, for your contribution. Thank you. I wish the absolute best for your journey. 

Thank you @Leo Gura, for positively transforming my life. You've made yourself the greatest human being. Thank you for inspiring and guiding me and us. 

Awesome to hear, that aspect of you will inevitably deepen over time!  When in suffering, come back to reflect, internalize, meditate. I have had my moments aswell.  

[Barbara]

@Origins Hey, meditation is definitely key. The point I am at the moment, contemplation, but also action are my best friends. Thank you for bringing it up. 
@Applegarden Thank you for your kindness. 
Appreciate you taking the time, 
Best wishes to both 

[Barbara]

@datamonster When I was little I wanted to be a lawyer to protect abandoned cats and dogs  When the time came for me to choose, I actually wanted to study philosophy, but I thought it was a course with little opportunities after. If I'm being honest, was about an internal perception of social pressure. Law gives you some kind of status. I guess that's what drove me to pursuit it. 

[Barbara]

@datamonster Yea, I don't regret not choosing philosophy. I'm really not the academic type and really like to study on my own, since I also like to integrate this knowledge about personal development. Next year I'll try something out of the box to achieve financial stability and start financial independence, but I don't think it will be anything regarding law, since for me to make a decent amount of money in this field, it would take me probably 5 more years. Also, it's really not my thing. I'm a free bird. With love

[Barbara]

@datamonster My grandparents have a lot of agriculture, but it's done in a still rudimentary way. I would love to evolve it with new tech and apply to EU funds so I can have most of my expenses covered
It would be lovely since what I desire the most is leaving the city for the countryside. Once I'm there, I know my creativity will explode! I get a lot of creativity when I'm near nature. Also, perfect time to work on my artistic projects, since I get a tons of inspiration from nature. 

Still have a lot to consider tho. Thank you for asking