RoerAmit

Anxiety Healing model?

16 posts in this topic

So I have anxiety for a long time.

Does anyone know about a healing model for anxiety?

It will have a lot of value for me...

Because there are so many ways and different methods I try and I don't know what is the next level to my healing.

Just like Spiral Dynamics... but for anxiety :)

Thanks!

 

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One thing I've been picking up lately from Willoughby Britton, Dan Ingram, and others, is that mindfulness and different types of meditation can, contrary to the whole "Minfuldness revolution" for mental health, produce anxiety and a variety of different unwanted effects.  

There's a book I heard being recommended by both of those peopel called "Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe Healing" by David A. Treleaven which I think goes into this topic.  

...So, just in case you want to do mindfulness or something for anxiety, it might help (I don't doubt some people have benefits from meditation and their mental/emotional issues), but it could also exacerbate the issues as well.


"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"   --   Marry Poppins

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I had anxiety in the past but it was almost always connected to something specific and stressful in my life. Look if you can identify those things in your life and do something about them if possible. Some times you just need to be patient and wait for bad or stressful situations to change and when this happens you will be less anxious. 

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Regular practice of deep abdominal healing helps to calm down the central nervous system. So 2 sessions of 15 minutes deep abdmonal breathing (4 seconds in 4 seconds out)

Avoiding caffeine and any other stimulants is a must 

Practicing peaceful mindfulness exercises like Tai-Chi, hatha yoga or simply mindful walking in nature can be very helpful 

Certain supplements & herbs can make anxiety worse: do you currently take anything? 

Some drugs can also induce anxiety 

Gut health & microbiome are quite important modulators of the mood, e.g. if you have a high history of antibiotics that would have added massively to anxieties 

Adrenal health can be relevant for example of you have a history of high stress, or if you have low blood pressure, history of depression etc. 

Insufficient thyroid function 

Certain nutritional deficiencies can contribute to it 

Excessive amount of animal protein, sugar, salt & fat can contribute to internal chronic inflammation

Lack of sleep 

Heavy metal toxicity 

Alcohol, Tobacco & recreational drugs can make it much worse 

Lack of life purpose & fulfilment in life. Lack of love & understanding. Feeling isolated, abandoned or having been isolated & abandoned as a child. Living in a "cage" type of life or just simply feeling hopeless are MAJOR drivers of anxieties. having been bullied, traumatised, not having processed bereavement or a grief. All of those will drive anxiety if those emotions were not processed & tackled. 

Learned helplessness or certain subconscious learning patterns that are generally unhelpful (e.g. associating certain stimuli with anxiety) can become relevant over the time

 

Healing of anxieties starts with trying to identify the cause which is where a healer, a naturopath, nutritionist, herbalist, homoeopath, reiki healer, acupuncturist or whatever seems like the best match for you could provide a really really great value. If this is something you've been struggling with for a long time, there is no shame in seeking the help of a professional in your area. 

 


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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@RoerAmit I don't know about a model just like spyral dynamics but I wouls suggest body  relaxation and body awereness.

In the book "Psychocibernetics" by Maxwell Malz he talks about this,but I would suggest amore specific one.

Leo also talks about body awereness, watch some of his videos

hope that this has helped<3

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@RoerAmit Some great advice so far :) Do you have anxiety with particular situations, or in general? For specific issues, have you tried a gradual desensitisation in combination with the other techniques? Eg I have anxiety with job interviews and public speaking, but it has improved with gentle practice, gradually increasing the exposure as I rewire my system. 


Relax, it's just my loosely held opinion.  :) 

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@RoerAmit

Hey Amit,

Great question. I love how you are willing to work on yourself and overcome your anxieties. From my experience I believe that first of all you have to understand that everyone is DEEPLY different. Different in their conditioning, their upbringing, and also their fears. This makes it that there is no solution for anxiety that works for everyone. If you want to cure YOUR anxiety it's very important to be specific on what you want to heal, change, transmute and awaken within you. To start of with, anxiety is a very general term. What is it that your anxious about? 

The first definition of anxiety I found is:

a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.

Just from observing this definition, you can already see a problem because life is inherently chaotic, uncertain and unpredictable, so we never have a certain outcome on what is going to happen, whether it is in life, work or love. So first of all don't be too hard on yourself on being anxious. Feelings of anxiety are part of our human condition. 

But then again, that doesn't mean you can't work on yourself and really make huge improvements in how grounded, confident, fearless and faithful you navigate through life. Again, I believe the key is being more specific on what it is you are experiencing. If you know what it is you are feeling, you can then focus on that specific domain, fear or emotional nervousness.

Some examples:

Are you worried about being social?
Are you afraid of authority in your life?
Are you afraid of being on misunderstood?
Are you afraid of death or being physically harmed?
Are you worried about taking responsibility of your life?
Are you worried about your direction, life purpose and career?
Are you worried because you're taking into consideration others opinion too much?
Do you (believe you) need validation from others in order to be whole, worthy and good enough?

Are you struggling with emotional nervousness because there is to much built-up tension in your body?
Are you struggling with emotional nervousness such as shame, the feeling that you are unlovable and not good enough?
Are you struggling with emotions such as guilt and morality, the feeling that you are wrong or doing the wrong things?

I could go on for a long time, but I hope you get what I mean. I feel that the term anxiety is too vague, you have to understand yourself on a deeper level if you really want to reach the highest stages of peace, faith, self-actualization, fulfilment and love. Obviously, I don't know you, but one general rule that often works is approaching your fears and anxiety with love and compassion, as in the end it is your inner child that is hurt, 'anxious' and scared. It is your inner child that is desperately sending you these signals, and the key lies in understanding what these emotional signals are trying to say.

Hope this helps, and feel free to share more specifically what is you are experiencing and I'd love to share my insights.

Charlie


 

 

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18 hours ago, Matt23 said:

Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe Healing" by David A. Treleaven

 

I will look up to this book. Sounds interesting. BTW - Why and how do you think mindfulness can make the situation worse? I'm open to this possibility but an extra explanation is needed. Thanks

 

18 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Regular practice of deep abdominal healing helps to calm down the central nervous system. So 2 sessions of 15 minutes deep abdmonal breathing (4 seconds in 4 seconds out)

Avoiding caffeine and any other stimulants is a must 

Practicing peaceful mindfulness exercises like Tai-Chi, hatha yoga or simply mindful walking in nature can be very helpful 

Certain supplements & herbs can make anxiety worse: do you currently take anything? 

Some drugs can also induce anxiety 

Gut health & microbiome are quite important modulators of the mood, e.g. if you have a high history of antibiotics that would have added massively to anxieties 

Adrenal health can be relevant for example of you have a history of high stress, or if you have low blood pressure, history of depression etc. 

Insufficient thyroid function 

Certain nutritional deficiencies can contribute to it 

Excessive amount of animal protein, sugar, salt & fat can contribute to internal chronic inflammation

Lack of sleep 

Heavy metal toxicity 

Alcohol, Tobacco & recreational drugs can make it much worse 

Lack of life purpose & fulfilment in life. Lack of love & understanding. Feeling isolated, abandoned or having been isolated & abandoned as a child. Living in a "cage" type of life or just simply feeling hopeless are MAJOR drivers of anxieties. having been bullied, traumatised, not having processed bereavement or a grief. All of those will drive anxiety if those emotions were not processed & tackled. 

Learned helplessness or certain subconscious learning patterns that are generally unhelpful (e.g. associating certain stimuli with anxiety) can become relevant over the time

 

Healing of anxieties starts with trying to identify the cause which is where a healer, a naturopath, nutritionist, herbalist, homoeopath, reiki healer, acupuncturist or whatever seems like the best match for you could provide a really really great value. If this is something you've been struggling with for a long time, there is no shame in seeking the help of a professional in your area. 

 

Fundamentally, I feel a lack of love. I am stressed most of the day. If we are talking about the "outside" circumstances, I don't sleep enough, I am vegan and really into eating consciously and healthy doing my best with it. Maybe 2-3 beers at the weekend, no Tabacco, going to do a blood test soon so more data will come soon. Not exercising enough for sure. 

But, I think it's more of a psychological problem. Investigating my psyche deeply, not sure what the problem really is.

16 hours ago, LeoX8 said:

@RoerAmit I don't know about a model just like spyral dynamics but I wouls suggest body  relaxation and body awereness.

In the book "Psychocibernetics" by Maxwell Malz he talks about this,but I would suggest amore specific one.

Leo also talks about body awereness, watch some of his videos

hope that this has helped<3

Body awareness changed the game for me. Until one year ago I had ZERO body awareness. I suffer from anxiety since I was a child basically. I am 20 now and I feel nervous since age 10 I think.. maybe before. Working on it mindfully every day.

12 hours ago, snowyowl said:

@RoerAmit Some great advice so far :) Do you have anxiety with particular situations, or in general? For specific issues, have you tried a gradual desensitisation in combination with the other techniques? Eg I have anxiety with job interviews and public speaking, but it has improved with gentle practice, gradually increasing the exposure as I rewire my system. 

Basically, it's general anxiety, I feel pressured, nervous and my body tensed when I wake up, doing everyday life, and going to sleep. 

It's getting worse when I think of my life problems - Money, I don't have a relationship and I want one, Not succeeding as a musician as I want, not being loved enough by my friends and family, How neurotic I am and don't know how to stop it.. and more

10 hours ago, Darlisto said:

@RoerAmit

Hey Amit,

Great question. I love how you are willing to work on yourself and overcome your anxieties. From my experience I believe that first of all you have to understand that everyone is DEEPLY different. Different in their conditioning, their upbringing, and also their fears. This makes it that there is no solution for anxiety that works for everyone. If you want to cure YOUR anxiety it's very important to be specific on what you want to heal, change, transmute and awaken within you. To start of with, anxiety is a very general term. What is it that your anxious about? 

The first definition of anxiety I found is:

a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.

Just from observing this definition, you can already see a problem because life is inherently chaotic, uncertain and unpredictable, so we never have a certain outcome on what is going to happen, whether it is in life, work or love. So first of all don't be too hard on yourself on being anxious. Feelings of anxiety are part of our human condition. 

But then again, that doesn't mean you can't work on yourself and really make huge improvements in how grounded, confident, fearless and faithful you navigate through life. Again, I believe the key is being more specific on what it is you are experiencing. If you know what it is you are feeling, you can then focus on that specific domain, fear or emotional nervousness.

Some examples:

Are you worried about being social?
Are you afraid of authority in your life?
Are you afraid of being on misunderstood?
Are you afraid of death or being physically harmed?
Are you worried about taking responsibility of your life?
Are you worried about your direction, life purpose and career?
Are you worried because you're taking into consideration others opinion too much?
Do you (believe you) need validation from others in order to be whole, worthy and good enough?

Are you struggling with emotional nervousness because there is to much built-up tension in your body?
Are you struggling with emotional nervousness such as shame, the feeling that you are unlovable and not good enough?
Are you struggling with emotions such as guilt and morality, the feeling that you are wrong or doing the wrong things?

I could go on for a long time, but I hope you get what I mean. I feel that the term anxiety is too vague, you have to understand yourself on a deeper level if you really want to reach the highest stages of peace, faith, self-actualization, fulfilment and love. Obviously, I don't know you, but one general rule that often works is approaching your fears and anxiety with love and compassion, as in the end it is your inner child that is hurt, 'anxious' and scared. It is your inner child that is desperately sending you these signals, and the key lies in understanding what these emotional signals are trying to say.

Hope this helps, and feel free to share more specifically what is you are experiencing and I'd love to share my insights.

Charlie


 

 

  OK - let's be specific:

I am anxious about being such a mediocre person. - When I was a child I promised myself to be an extraordinary human being, being rich, calm, secure, loved, doing spectacular things, becoming a first-class musician in the world, having the best relationships, having a perfect fit, thin, musculin body (I am pretty fat), being the most loved and wanted person in the world. Basically - just the opposite of what my parents were - and this promise was 100% unconsciously. I understood this 6 months ago. 

I make it look like my life is horrible, but I have everything I need. I just blame my parents for blaming me all the time for being a bad boy, harming them, I do something the communicated it's not okay. My mother is super-neurotic, my father is unsecured and scared of being hurt by my mother, so another thing that makes me weak. My father never set boundaries for me, but it has also a positive part.

I make my mother look like a satan but it's my ego deceiving myself trying to make sense of why I feel so stressed. I Blame her for like 80% of my life's problems. 

My parents are super perfectionist, so everything I do/did looks bad and not enough of course, which demotivates me to do things, I feel powerless and all of these are creating momentum like a giant snowball down the mountain that gets bigger and bigger and everything gets worse.  

The main most profound problem is an emotion inside tells me "There is a problem". This is what my anxiety tells me all the time when I'm contemplating it.

REALITY FEELS WRONG.

And I can't stop criticizing myself about how it should be otherwise... 

How the f*ck do I solve it? 

 

Edited by RoerAmit

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@RoerAmit

Hey Amit. Thanks for taking the reply my man. I can really sense that you are serious about making a serious shift in your life and that you are ready to actualize those beautiful dreams of yours.  First of all I want to start of that we are in a time period in life where Covid-19 is happening and there are a lot of global shifts happening. This is also felt on the personal level. Times in 2020 are hard, so be aware that you are not the only one going through these strong emotional feelings, shifts and healing periods. That being said, I would love to give you some specific advice.

It sounds like your basic needs are met, you have shelter and food, an internet connection and resources, such as YouTube and this blog. This is already something you can be grateful for, as a lot people don't have this. 790 million people don't have a constant supply of drinking water. Gratitude opens our heart, the gateway to our Higher Self where all our higher inner guidance and love comes from. Yes, we can try to self-actualize and become a better version of ourselves, but it has to come from a grounded place of gratitude, abundance and security. Taking the time to appreciate what is already present and abundant in your life, will help to find joy while setting your mind at ease, giving you a grounded base level op calmness, peace of mind and clarity to work from. You also said that body awareness helps you, so those together daily will assure you that you have the calmness you need to build from. 

You mention your parents a lot. And I can definitely relate to this. It's true our parents are imperfect, but try to see them as that. Imperfect but still beautiful. Parents have their shadow aspect, as everyone does, but so do we. Try to appreciate the positive, beautiful and loving aspects of your parents, and do your best in this. How you see your parents, and what you expect from them, is what you will get out from them. There is also a high chance that the things that actually annoy you about your parents, are things that are triggering certain aspects in you that still need attention and focus, things that are imbalanced within yourself. Life is a mirror that mirrors everything back to us. I had to learn this the hard way, that the shadow aspects that annoyed me about my dad, are and were actually shadow aspects that were inherent and present in me, even though I wasn't conscious off this. This take radical open-mindedness and honesty. Make a list of things that annoy you about your parents, and be honest if these are things that you also display. Forgiving your parents through the magical, healing and unconditional loving power of your heart (chakra) is the key, because hey, we're all suffering, we all have our problems and we all have our personal journey of imperfectness.

The moment you stop blaming your parents for your moods, your unhappiness and your anxiety is the exact same moment you can start taking full responsibility for your dreams. You mentioned a lot of things you want to achieve, and that is beautiful. The moment we stop dreaming as human beings is the moment we start to die. But it's one thing to dream, and it's another to take consistent, and responsible baby steps towards those dreams. Doing those breathing exercises, doing those workouts, practicing those guitars scales and riffs, offer and create value in your business. There are no quick fixes in life. Life is holistic in nature, meaning you have to focus on all the aspects, clear the holes in your balance and focus on the long term. Find a balance between self-actualizing and growth vs enjoying and playing. 

Know your priorities (use Maslow pyramids of needs as a good starting point) and take responsibility on a daily, weekly and yearly basis to achieve those goals of yours. Both for the playing (collect movies, music, art, books that you love and inspire you, that lift you up for example) as the improving (songs you can practice, exercises you can do, meals you can cook, friends you can learn from, etc.) . It doesn't matter if you miss days, but some form of consistency and believing in yourself, in the long run, is key. Focus on the things you have, the things you can do and start there. It sounds like you have a lot of beautiful dreams and HUGE potential, maybe make a vision board of things that really motivate, push you and inspire you, so that when you wake up, it doesn't matter what you parents expect, desire or want from you, you will be kicking is ass regardless because you know who you are, what you can and what you want.

Be kind to yourself : ) In the end it is your inner child that is having trouble with all of these things and compassion, mildness and self-recognition for all the things you already have and are will do wonders! I believe in you my man

 

 

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You’re separating everyone in a heavy handed way, identifying them based on past behaviors. It indicates, but doesn’t identify. You’re kind of insisting to your inner world that it does, and hearing back ‘no sir’, and then wondering why you feel ‘off’. That won’t resonate with your inner being, which knows this reality to be pure and spontaneous. If you are mindful of this, aware of this, reality’s going to feel very ‘on’. The more you detail and nuance in this manor, the worst you’ll feel, because of the inherent internalizing, or, being bound by your past as well, for seeing others that way. File that stuff in the category of judgment, and know your inner being never judges anyone. Ever. So when you don’t like how you feel, ask ‘what in my perspective is not resonating with my inner being here...am I judging....comparing’?. In the end, we only ever judge ourself. Which is why our inner being just ‘can’t go there’. 

You’re also in the middle, so to speak, between feeling the way you do due to environment, past & other people...and more recently feeling the intuition that your perspectives could be less rigid & more flexible and liquid, resulting in a massive change in experience in terms of feeling. Be besties with that intuition. It takes a while, but you can exopodite by properly meditating every morning, eating healthy, and by noticing the current perspective when you don’t like how you feel, and changing it to one that feels better. And then a better one. And then a better one. You can let go of perspectives that don’t serve you all together. Zero reason to keep them. Put how you feel first, reality follows either way.

Everywhere you go, be the mood, the fun, the vibe, the spirit. Paradoxically, notice you are only ever ‘here’. You never arrive at a ‘there’, wherever you are, is always, here. Also notice there isn’t any past or future to be seen. Only now. Wherever you are, it’s always, now. So letting perspectives which don’t serve you go, is something you’ll only ever do, here, and now. Just this one moment, if you will. That’s the size of the whole “job”. Just change perspectives such that you feel the alignment and resonating with your inner being, for one moment. That’s it. Let everyone else be their own shit show, if they choose perspectives as such. You be you. Head’s up, you actually love everyone & everything. You will be letting perspectives go for a while. But even that isn’t true. Perspectives already come & go. That’s their nature. I don’t even think you could claim any “effort”, in this changing reality really. 

If you really wanna “solve it” and find out just how “right” reality can feel and be, make a dreamboard already. There are miracles to create & witness, and the game is well afoot. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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This forum is seriously like, THE best resource ever. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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On 05/11/2020 at 10:49 AM, RoerAmit said:

 OK - let's be specific:

I am anxious about being such a mediocre person. - When I was a child I promised myself to be an extraordinary human being, being rich, calm, secure, loved, doing spectacular things, becoming a first-class musician in the world, having the best relationships, having a perfect fit, thin, musculin body (I am pretty fat), being the most loved and wanted person in the world. Basically - just the opposite of what my parents were - and this promise was 100% unconsciously. I understood this 6 months ago. 

We live in a modern society full of possibilities and expectations for the future, we have dreams unheard of for our ancestors. So when the reality doesn't match the desire, we judge ourselves and feel unsatisfied with the reality of the now, and reject ourselves. The answer, imo, is to fully accept, embrace and love ourselves how we are now and that love generates some positive energy and space to move forward and make  plans for our personal development - eg Nahm's dreamboard, Leo's life purpose videos. 
 

On 05/11/2020 at 10:49 AM, RoerAmit said:

I make it look like my life is horrible, but I have everything I need. I just blame my parents for blaming me all the time for being a bad boy, harming them, I do something the communicated it's not okay. My mother is super-neurotic, my father is unsecured and scared of being hurt by my mother, so another thing that makes me weak. My father never set boundaries for me, but it has also a positive part.

I make my mother look like a satan but it's my ego deceiving myself trying to make sense of why I feel so stressed. I Blame her for like 80% of my life's problems. 

Imagine if you became a dad right now (if you aren't already) - well, you know you've got your own issues, don't we all, do you think you would do a perfect job? We all make mistakes, can you forgive them, accept them as products of their own history, and create some space for a fresh start? 
 

On 05/11/2020 at 10:49 AM, RoerAmit said:

The main most profound problem is an emotion inside tells me "There is a problem". This is what my anxiety tells me all the time when I'm contemplating it.

Accept your emotions, don't resist them, they are showing you your pain. Have compassion on yourself, yes there is a problem but it is in the past. Try to reframe this as there was a problem which has created this pattern of anxiety feelings. If you fully accept and give space to the anxiety, is it such a big problem? Keep accepting it and I predict that over time, it will reduce. 
  

On 05/11/2020 at 10:49 AM, RoerAmit said:

REALITY FEELS WRONG.

Accept it anyway, it's all there is. Accept also your judgement of wrongness (that's part of reality too!).

On 05/11/2020 at 10:49 AM, RoerAmit said:

And I can't stop criticizing myself about how it should be otherwise... 

Accept yourself in the here and now. Practice unconditional acceptance (ok this may take a while to perfect).  Treat it like a meditation practice, when you notice you are criticising or rejecting yourself, move over to acceptance, like some people focus on the breath. Over and over and over again. 

On 05/11/2020 at 10:49 AM, RoerAmit said:

How the f*ck do I solve it? 

Accept, accept, accept. 

Edited by snowyowl

Relax, it's just my loosely held opinion.  :) 

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@RoerAmit Anxiety is triggered by subconscious fight-or-flight-or-freeze response in your brain. But it's healed by your body on energetic level. Whatever your body needs/has to do to release it. Go into secluded place and let it all out - cry, kick, shake, scream, punch, etc. Do it every time you feel anxiety rising, don't hold back.

 

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3 hours ago, Nahm said:

 

@mandyjw

False. Wake up lasso. 

giphy.gif

It's like AH saying this is the best conversation ever, just pure gratitude. What's the problem? Can you re-SOURCE source? Sylar is also the hottest villain ever.


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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