Is there a Solution for Incels?

[Globalcollective]

@John Mitchell What will it actually take for you to stop whining and just sort out this problem? get off the internet and just start talking to girls, I get it your sacred of rejection. that is what this boils down too, but there is literally no other option. You say Leo should advocate some kind of healthy dating approach but not matter what you will have to end up face to face talking to girls no matter what route you take. GO OUT! tho yes  wait till the pandemic is over then do it. 

[Jacob Morres]

Seems you want empathy rather than advice? Lmk if that's true? 

Sure, if you don't want to do it the pickup way, which way would you like to do it?

I find pickup can be a very effective method of finding women personally. Because when you see a girl you like you can just walk up to her and start a conversation. It makes things a lot easier. Guys with confidence and who are good with girls can do this with ease 

you could also use dating apps if you want. Clean up, get some pics, do some inner game work and start talking to girls online.

I'm pretty interested in hearing a better alternative to cold approach though. 

To me it seems like:

Setting proper intentions and getting the skills/whatever necessary to manifest that intention is key to the process 

Edited September 22, 2020 by Jacob Morres

[John Mitchell]

Quote

Because when you see a girl you like you can just walk up to her and start a conversation. It makes things a lot easier. Guys with confidence and who are good with girls can do this with ease 

Life is not a movie. Notice how almost every guy has approach anxiety, it's definitely not a disorder. What you are doing is breaking social norms - Its your bodies way of saying "hey man if you do this you gamble with your survival" and its perfectly normal.

Yes 1 in 500 women will probably sleep with you, she might be hot but probably has metal deficits like low self-esteem because she doesn't pick up on your out-of-line behavior.

If you would go to work naked tomorrow your body would respond with massive resistance to not break this cultural norm, and you want to fight that low-level instinct and call it self improvement? Its fucking nuts, nothing more.

Edited September 22, 2020 by John Mitchell

[Thestarguitarist14]

1 hour ago, Timur said:

Thank you for your tip, Sir.

 

But Okcupid and all those other dating apps besides tinder are not established here in germany.

 

I tried tinder multiple times and just can say that the algorithm is fucked up! 

 

On day one I usually get +-5 matches and +- 5 likes. ( most girls average/above average looking and one out of ten or twenty matches is usually pretty hot)

 

But day two crickets...

 

Day three crickets...

 

and so on.

There has to be another dating site.

Dating apps like bumble and tinder aren’t the greatest.  But I am sure that there are websites that you can go on. 
 

12 minutes ago, John Mitchell said:

Life is not a movie. Notice how almost every guy has approach anxiety, it's definitely not a disorder. What you are doing is breaking social norms - Its your bodies way of saying "hey man if you do this you gamble with your survival" and its perfectly normal.

Yes 1 in 500 women will probably sleep with you, she might be hot but probably has metal deficits like low self-esteem because she doesn't pick up on your out-of-line behavior.

If you would go to work naked tomorrow your body would respond with massive resistance to not break this cultural norm, and you want to fight that low-level instinct and call it self improvement? Its fucking nuts, nothing more.

So what you’re doing is the best alternative?

The reason why people suggest pickup is that you will at least start to get out of your head and go into the right direction.

[Jacob Morres]

4 hours ago, John Mitchell said:

If that is the cost than tell me why 95% of guys don't approach hundreds of girls and still manage have an average sex life.

 

I see it happening in other people, opportunities for relationships just present themselves magically. Its something I don't see happening in my life. You are thinking surprisingly Materialistic on this point, like if the Universe is just "atoms bouncing around randomly" like you often say.

it really depends

like, if you have very low confidence, social skills, bad life experience, traumas etc. you'll have no choice but to do a lot of inner work and a good amount of outer work to get to an average level. i don't think cold approach is the only way ofc 

average sex life i don't think is that great anyways? i think the average dude sleeps with 1-2 girls a year? i think that might even be a little above average. 
 

edit: 

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/average-number-of-sexual-partners

nvm according to this article is literally 7 over the course of their lives for the average person 

Edited September 22, 2020 by Jacob Morres

[John Mitchell]

2 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

average sex life i don't think is that great anyways? i think the average dude sleeps with 1-2 girls a year? i think that might even be a little

1-2 girls PER year is fucking insane, I would be more than content with that.

[Jacob Morres]

 

Just now, John Mitchell said:

1-2 girls PER year is fucking insane, I would be more than content with that.

yeah i was wrong it was way less than that 

dude 1-2 girls per year is nothing lmao. cold approach + inner game would solve that so easily for you 

[Parththakkar12]

Have a Life Purpose that enables you to meet the right people. Channel your sexual energy towards creativity in your Life Purpose. Women love creative men.

[Jacob Morres]

39 minutes ago, John Mitchell said:

is breaking social norms - Its your bodies way of saying "hey man if you do this you gamble with your survival" and its perfectly normal.

you are constantly going against social norms and survival all the time. 

if you started a business 5 years ago+, you'd be going outside social norms. and in many circles you still would be

following your heart, you'd be going outside social norms

not getting a 9-5, you'd be going outside social norms

pursuing enlightenment, doing retreats, you'd be going outside social norms

doing many types of inner work, you'd be going outside social norms

doing some break-through science 

having a unique and opposite opinion (systems perspective in a green environment) 

being a leader like MLK    

depending on the color stage of your environment, doing anything outside of that would be going outside of social norms. for example, doing lsd in a blue environment (this would be an extreme backlash though if they found out. talking to girls is akin to the previous things).  many times it's a good thing to go past social norms. social norms won't help you reach your highest potential because the social norm is not at a high developmental level 

etc. etc. 

 

"hey man if you do this you gamble with your survival"
yeah man, enlightenment... literally most things that you do that pushes your comfort zone will trigger your amygdala to go bonkers. that's your fear holding you back. that doesn't mean you shouldn't be doing it. lower self tries to keep you safe, higher self tries to look out for you and help you reach your infinite potential 

 

this cultural norm you're talking about is not as serious as you think it is. you're not getting naked in public. you're going up to girls + learning how to flirt. you're learning how to be social. you're practicing self-confidence.   

 

Edited September 22, 2020 by Jacob Morres

[Thestarguitarist14]

14 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

it really depends

like, if you have very low confidence, social skills, bad life experience, traumas etc. you'll have no choice but to do a lot of inner work and a good amount of outer work to get to an average level. i don't think cold approach is the only way ofc 

average sex life i don't think is that great anyways? i think the average dude sleeps with 1-2 girls a year? i think that might even be a little above average. 
 

edit: 

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/average-number-of-sexual-partners

nvm according to this article is literally 7 over the course of their lives for the average person 

The average guy sleeps with seven women during his entire life.

[John Mitchell]

@Jacob Morres lmao you really think starting a business or doing meditation is going outside social norms?

Society would not exist if not for someone starting businesses, its not frowned upon at all. Meditation/Yoga is also mostly seen in a positive light, and even if you have fringe hobbies as long as you are not pushing it in other peoples faces most stuff is socially accepted.

 

im not talking about not being into mainstream stuff, I'm talking about basic social contracts, like not being rude to strangers. Why not go on the street and start kicking people in the nuts? This is going against social norms and a healthy mind will almost not let you do it.

Edited September 22, 2020 by John Mitchell

[Parththakkar12]

16 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Have a Life Purpose that enables you to meet the right people. Channel your sexual energy towards creativity in your Life Purpose. Women love creative men.

For example, I'm writing a book, being authentic and vulnerable, so that people can see into my authentic perspective. I started doing this because of me wanting to get laid and being surrounded by people who aren't like-minded. I am wanting to teach people about myself, so to speak, so that I can bring in people who have compatible values.

I'm not a PUA who wants to bang a lot of girls. I'm more of a long-term relationship guy. Different strategies for different desired outcomes!

[Jacob Morres]

@John Mitchell
if you're worried about social norms, you can do it in a socially acceptable way that doesn't fringe upon peoples well beings or make people uncomfortable. You can learn to be conscious in this manner. You can also explain it to people in a socially acceptable way (I have done that many times). 

My understanding is of what you're saying is:

by approaching people you are breaking this social contract constructed by society and that contract cannot be broken. The approach/pua is an inherently not socially acceptable thing that you should be doing. It is a very negative act where you are infringing and hurting people's well being. 

Imo, no. You can approach people with the intent to have a conversation and flirt and without infringing on anyone's wellbeing 

Edited September 22, 2020 by Jacob Morres

[ColeMC01]

@Leo Gura You are looking at it through the player pua paradigms where you want to sleep with a lot of hot girls. Most incels and the guy above do not care about that. They want a 5/10 girlfriend that they can love and be happy with. Why should that be so difficult for them? Ofc you should not expect hot girls for free but hot girls in huge quantities is not what they want. Most incels just want to get laid, they do not care how hot the girl is. I despise the Incel ideology personally but i have noticed that a lot of them would be willing to fuck a 3/10 girl if the chance is presented. So it is not that they want hot girls for free and to be drowning in pussy. It is like saying you have to work to be a millionaire but these guys just want some bread not to starve. The reason inceldom exists in the first place is that there are some guys that live life normally and get an average girl or even above average and there are others that dont get shit even if they are relatively social and outgoing. Then ofc they blame their looks because these days society is all about looks, just look Instagram as an example. There is more to it ofc but if you did the same shit as your friends and you saw them with someone while you were ignored you would start to blame your looks too. I personally do not but am not surprised that so many do. 

Edited September 22, 2020 by ColeMC01
adding information

[John Mitchell]

 

@ColeMC01 well said

[ColeMC01]

@John Mitchell Do you consider yourself unattractive? What is your problem you think?

[John Mitchell]

@ColeMC01 I don't, I consider myself average. I have no idea, there is just something about me that makes it Impossible for girls to see me in a sexual way, if I knew what it was I would fix it. But if I am totally honesf I'm not a good looking guy at all so that makes it hard of course, but I dont want to talk about myself like that its a slippery slope for me.

Edited September 22, 2020 by John Mitchell

[Jacob Morres]

@ColeMC01 sure you can tailor it to whatever goal you want though. If your goal is to just sleep with 1 girl a year or get a gf which is this guys interest, there needs to be some method to make that happen

Self esteem work + meeting girls somehow through whatever means 

Edited September 22, 2020 by Jacob Morres

[ColeMC01]

@Jacob Morres If you want to have sex once a year then you should not have to approach at all. It will come from living a social life. If it does not then there is a problem that will not be solved from pick up. Pick up is basically meeting people. If you meet people from your normal life then you do not need to do pick up at all. Most PUAs want to fuck 8/10 girls every week which ofc u dont get from a normal social life so they have to do approaches. 

[ColeMC01]

@John Mitchell Being average is enough to get laid at least by an okay girl. Seen it time and time again. Watch leo videos on what women want in a man, maybe you are lacking there. Coach coray wayne, school of attraction and dan bacon are some good alternative channels. If i would guess is that you are not very flirty and sexual with the girls you meet from your everyday life.