Girls your input would be appreciated

[Jake Johnson]

I am a 14 year old guy and about a month ago a girl beat me up when she caught me looking down her blouse. My question is now that a few weeks have passed should I go to her and apologize for ogling her (she wasn't wearing a bra) or do you think I should just let it go?

[Roy]

I would man up and apologize it would be the mature thing to do, regardless of her reaction or if she accepts it.

You will feel better at the very least.

Edited August 28, 2020 by Roy

[Arcangelo]

Troll

 

[Jake Johnson]

Troll? Why do you believe me to be trolling? I am just thinking about the old saying 'it takes one to know one'. I am not really sure what to do and therefore am seeking the female perspective as the other party involved is female.

Edited August 29, 2020 by Jake Johnson

[Giancarlo]

Yeah trust me, as hard as it may be, an apology goes a long way. And it's good to get into the habit of it when you're young.

[Jake Johnson]

It is nice that you guys have taken the time to respond but I would really like to hear from a girl or even two. I don't know the female mind. It could be that it would be better to let it go.

[Moon]

Yeah, apologize about how you made her feel, say you've learnt your lesson and you wouldn't do that kinda stuff to anyone in the future.

(If that's what you genuinely think?) 

 

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, I have learned and am sincere in wishing to apologize. Thank you Moon.

[Moon]

13 minutes ago, Jake Johnson said:

Yes, I have learned and am sincere in wishing to apologize. Thank you Moon.

Great!  

[universe]

Did she say anything? How bad did she beat you up? Whats your relationship with her? If you want good advice write down as much information as possible. We were not there with you, nor do we know any of you. So we can only go by what you write here.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, I have learned and am sincere in wishing to apologize. Thank you Moon.

 

No, she didn't say anything. After she just stalked off with her two female friends. She is just a girl in town who I know only casually. And it was a genuine beat up; black eye, bloody nose, split lip.  It is fortunate that they were the only ones present and I don't think they have told anyone about it. In my defense she took me by surprise and she is very quick. She was leaning forward arranging items in a bag that was on the ground. I was standing in front if her with my arms at my sides when she realized that I was looking at her boobies then straightened up stepped forward tripped me to the ground and held her left arm around both of my arms while punching me in the face with her right. She was able to give me a beating because she got the jump on me and she is as quick as a cat. She had my arms immobilized behind my back before we even hit the ground.  But now I understand just how uncomfortable, embarrassed AND ANGRY it makes a girl feel to have private areas of her body ogled. I really do feel bad about it and not just because she beat me up. I suppose I deserved it? I really did want to offer an apology but was worried that she might only get mad and beat me up again but now with the input from Moon I will talk to the girl and let her know how sorry I am.

 

Edited August 29, 2020 by Jake Johnson

[Moon]

@Jake Johnson I'm sorry you experienced that man and you didn't deserve to get beat up btw- was she your age?  

Not all girls are the same of course and some wouldn't have reacted that way, but what you did makes girls feel objectified and most would feel those emotions you described so it's good that you're aware of it now. 

She could still be hostile towards you so it may be better to send her a message online or if you guys happen to speak again in person, bring it up if she's not angry. Idk, use your judgement 

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you Moon. Yes, we are both 14. It isn't that she is some amazon; she is a very typical 14 year old girl in both size and strength and I am a typical 14 year old boy in both size and strength. She just took me by surprise and is very quick.

Edited August 29, 2020 by Jake Johnson

[Florian]

Wtf I wouldnt apologize, she should. I don't know how much you stared at her, but you are a 14 year old boy, that's instinct and you can't always control it. I mean you didn't touch her or anything and she could also just have said something. Fuck that bitch

Edit: have some self-respect

Edited August 29, 2020 by Florian

[Arcanus]

As a girl, I've actually been in this situation when I was younger, perhaps at around 15 years old. I was wearing a shirt that was in no way immodest, but it was quite loose and when I leaned over, I accidentally flashed two male classmates of mine who were sitting in front of me. I was wearing a bra, but even that could've been a little too big for me, so I'm not sure exactly how much they saw. They seemed really happy albeit a little awkward about the whole thing, which made me feel extra embarrassed. Like I'd accidentally given them a proper show that they were still reveling in. They made no attempt to hide that they'd just seen too much, so I felt really humiliated. While I'm no longer disturbed by this event, clearly it has stuck to my mind. And honestly I do think it would have made me feel better back then if they apologized to me, even if I knew they didn't really do anything wrong, outside of having a smug attitude about it afterwards. Their apology would have made me feel less at fault and less like an idiot for accidentally flashing them.

Her reaction was out of line but it was likely out of pure embarrassment. Ironically she should feel equally embarrassed for her violence now. It's hard to say how obvious or impolite your ogling was. It's human nature to look in a situation like that. That said, it is of course preferable and more polite not to stare. Apologizing to her will probably mend your relationship a little, but it may also make her feel justified in her overly aggressive response. You said you think you may have deserved it. That's debatable but you should do whatever eases your mind.

[Rajneeshpuram]

56 minutes ago, Jake Johnson said:

Thank you Moon. Yes, we are both 14. It isn't that she is some amazon; she is a very typical 14 year old girl in both size and strength and I am a typical 14 year old boy in both size and strength. She just took me by surprise and is very quick.

Listen to me, never feel ashamed and apologize for showing sexual interest for a woman. Nature created us this way, attracted to female body and its nothing wrong! Probably the girl came from a old-fashioned family where sex is bad and a taboo.

[Jake Johnson]

@Arcanus thank you for your input. And you are correct; one of the other two girls present did tell me later that Rachel, the girl who beat me up, had done so more out of embarrassment than anger. I will try to gauge her attitude toward me and make a judgement call about speaking to her.

Edited August 30, 2020 by Jake Johnson

[Gesundheit]

Unfortunately, she got bigger balls than you.

[Opo]

16 hours ago, Jake Johnson said:

She had my arms immobilized behind my back before we even hit the ground.  

No. 

[Jake Johnson]

@Opo no what?