fear of ejaculation

[Onemanwolfpac]

11 hours ago, JessiChell said:

This was interesting to read, guys. 

@IJB063 You're right, it comes from trauma usually. Religious trauma or other relationship traumas but it can also come from societal norms, which, the individual may perceive as failure. However, I thought this work was about self-acceptance as you are. Traumas/failures included. I thought it would be healing to accept this part of you. 

I thought there was no "right and wrong?"

 

Its a defense mechanism to like shame and sexualize it. Go back to where it started and avoid psychos that started the process. Enjoying shame isn't self acceptance. It means something negative you are internalise as positive. Even more alarming is to sexualize it. 

Tell that to Epstein and friends. 

There's definitely a wrong. 

[Roy]

15 hours ago, Rolo said:

ive contemplated on the experience and im finding i am getting more in touch with my need and the shame is dropping away.

That's the right track! It can be hard given cultural circumstances, or certain family situations. Just keep learning to accept events and most importantly yourself  

[JessiChell]

@Onemanwolfpac I will reflect on it, thank you

[Rolo]

19 hours ago, Nahm said:

 

Check your direct experience. See if you can notice it is the thought which has the content of the “dark place”, and feeling can not ‘go there’, because the thought is about you, and it is not true. Were you not good, you would not experience the ‘not trueness’ feeling, in response of the thought. It’d feel just fine. But the thought about you does not feel good - precisely because you are goodness. You can check the actuality of this anytime you want. Actually, you can’t not experience relativity.

so this rejection about myself and sexuality is just telling me that this thought is not me as if it is a alarm system warning me. I think the biggest problem was that the alarm system was a trigger on itself because this anger that i didn't realise was pointing me towards goodness. Its like i value the response as a indicator that says hey this thing is not in alignment with the goodness i want to be.

i think i am looking at this the right way because this defence mechanism in my body is protecting me from all the things i think are bad and wrong. 

 

Thanks Nahm 

Edited June 22, 2020 by Rolo

[Nahm]

6 hours ago, Rolo said:

Its like i value the response as a indicator that says hey this thing is not in alignment with the goodness i want to be.

The goodness that you are. 

6 hours ago, Rolo said:

i think i am looking at this the right way because this defence mechanism in my body is protecting me from all the things i think are bad and wrong. 

There’s no ‘you inside there’ to protect from anything, and there isn’t any reason to judge anyone or thing as bad or wrong. It’s the thoughts that don’t feel good, because you’re good. 

[zeroISinfinity]

On 21.6.2020. at 0:52 PM, Nahm said:

 

Check your direct experience. See if you can notice it is the thought which has the content of the “dark place”, and feeling can not ‘go there’, because the thought is about you, and it is not true. Were you not good, you would not experience the ‘not trueness’ feeling, in response of the thought. It’d feel just fine. But the thought about you does not feel good - precisely because you are goodness. 

So is that a reason why I do not put up very well when someone is blaming me guilt tripping me and such. 

That protective agressive response is because Being is innocent?Yes to kinky stuff  in bedroom too. I like being rough. 

Also imagine having dominatrix. Would like that but not all the stuff. 

Edited June 22, 2020 by zeroISinfinity

[Nahm]

@zeroISinfinity

If it doesn’t feel good, it’s the thought. The believing of the “I do not put up well” thought, and the believing of the “someone’s blaming me & guilt tripping me” thought. The protective aggressive response is not a response, but a reaction from believing of the thoughts...which are not true...which is why they don’t feel good... to the truth. 

“I can dream up & create & do anything I want to, and I can enjoy it, as I know it will be experienced in & as this now,  this dream, this ‘one moment’ at a time-ness -so, no big deal really”....feels good.

*Feels good “to me” though. You get to do your own feelin, your own exploring of this mind of God, so to speak.  

Ya don’t even have to focus on this person’s business, if it doesn’t feel good to you. They have their own thought & feeling relationship, or at least we can deduce and assume they do, and relish in the mystery that Is. 

?

[zeroISinfinity]

@Nahm MYSELF is so awesome. Thank you me.Pure Love all the time. 

I love you man you have no idea. 

Can't beat God. 

But from where these "wierd" ideas came from. 

I really am crazy Infinite Being. 

Edited June 22, 2020 by zeroISinfinity

[Nahm]

@zeroISinfinity

I love you. I know. Same love bruh.

Ya. Can’t beat God indeed. Can’t fear coming to this love either. 

(Subtle sneaky op call back)

[zeroISinfinity]

Itvs like having Infinite amount of possible wacky stuff on your disposal. 

More Love I feel more crazy and artistic I am in some sense. 

[Rolo]

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

 

Ya. Can’t beat God indeed. Can’t fear coming to this love either. 

(Subtle sneaky op call back)

i am starting to see this❤❤❤

[Nahm]

@Rolo Awesome. ??

[Onemanwolfpac]

On 21/06/2020 at 5:07 PM, JessiChell said:

@Onemanwolfpac I will reflect on it, thank you

Were you aware of it before you said that? As in, you knew that about yourself before? I had several out of the ordinary requests from girls. At that time, I was less present and not on the same journey as I am now. In retrospect, I wouldn't partake in activity that stems from something that plays in with shame or embarrassment and humiliation. The requests are so out of the ordinary. 

Fine line between a good time and damaging i suppose. 

[JessiChell]

@Onemanwolfpac When I said, "enjoy the feeling of shame and disgust?"

Yes. Women love feeling shame and disgust during sex. 

We are raised differently than men. "Close your legs. Act like a lady. Good girls don't do that. Cover your shoulders, it will distract men."

Women have been taught to constantly feel shame just by existing. So of course we bring it into the bedroom. 

I can't give advice on whether or not it's healthy but I love it. I enjoy it. Women enjoy it. 

Do I believe I need to cover myself for men? No. Do I believe I'm disgusting when I get up and leave after dirty/shameful sex? No. It's empowering. 

So I, personally, will not work on this. But I can't speak for others. I will continue to allow myself to get turned on from shame/disgust. 

 

11 hours ago, Onemanwolfpac said:

I had several out of the ordinary requests from girls. At that time, I was less present and not on the same journey as I am now. In retrospect, I wouldn't partake in activity that stems from something that plays in with shame or embarrassment and humiliation.

Well they are making the decision. Not you. They know they love feeling that way. Remember woman are adults and think very much on why they do/feel things. If they are asking for something, it's something they really want. 

If you don't fulfill their desires, another man will. 

We fulfill strange requests from men all the time. What you've been asked to do from a woman, I'm thinking, would fail in comparison to what I've been asked to do for men. And we have to do it with a smile on our face. lol 

My advice? Take one for the team

[Someone here]

On 6/15/2020 at 1:12 PM, Rolo said:

 

i have had some sexual experiences (with others and by myself i.e porn) that i am still trying to intergrate but i just feel i never have a fulfilling orgasm and i am left feeling wasted and empty. sometimes i have good ones and whatnot but rarely and the compulsive masturbation makes me waste the energy

Quit that nonsense already and go hanut some real chicks. 

[Rolo]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

go hanut some real chicks. 

thanks for the update

[Someone here]

@Rolo no problem. But who is this creepy guy lol