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About Shiva99

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  1. No i don't want it. I want a stable normal lifestyle. I always start these habits with the intention of making them stick, not to throw them away a month or two later and not caring about it anymore. I've also been wanting to become a Psychologist for a very long time now, but for some reason i always lose interest in pursuing it. But, whenever i stop it, it will always come back in my mind. You are telling me it's because i don't want it deep down? I don't understand any of this.
  2. I really don't know what the fuck to do anymore with myself. I'm totally clueless as to how to go about anything at this point. My life is falling apart around me, for the 50th time, and i know this pattern way too well, but i can't stop it, no matter what i do. I went on a gambling spree, porn spree, started eating shit, drinking alcohol, totally ruined my sleep schedule, didn't do anything to improve myself anymore, and basically started to not care about anything. At this point i'm even in debt, which is something i never thought would happen to me. It's only about €300, but for me that's a lot of money, especially at this moment. Right now i'm totally broke, no more money to even buy food, to do literally anything. Thank god i still have at least some food stored in my place, and i will receive more money in about 4 days, but that doesn't change the way i feel right now at all. I'm so sad and confused, especially because i know i have so much potential if this demon wouldn't take over my life everytime. I don't know why this keeps happening to me, but i sure as hell want it to stop. I feel so powerless. A month ago i was meditating, running at least 3 times a week, eating relatively healthy, my mood was decent etc etc and now in such a short period of time it all went downhill. It started slowly by skipping a day of running, and it kept going from there. It always does. It always happens that way. I stop doing something small and than i stop everything all together and ruin everything. I know i can reverse all of this, but i really don't see the point anymore because i know i won't go through with it. I know i will just end up in the same place, because it has been over 10 times like this already. I know if i start meditating again, i will do it for a week or two and drop it. I know if i start running i will drop it again too. I can't go through with anything. Because i get bored, because all of a sudden i just don't care. I keep wondering wtf is wrong with me all the time.
  3. Drop everything and let life take care of you. Much more fun.
  4. Lmao goodluck with that. This forum is full of people giving prescriptions for literally everything.
  5. Seems like he tactically avoided this one. hahahahaha.
  6. I like my woman T h i c c and tasty.
  7. Kill the idea of being in control part. Make it very practical. You have to experience it first hand or it won't work. 1) Write down everyday exactly what you want to do, how long you want to do it, and when you want to do it. 2) For each activity write down the time you start, the duration, and how you think it's gonna turn out or what will happen that day. If you really do this deliberately, you will see that it's not gonna workout. Life likes to do it's own thing, not how you plan it out. You really have to do this deliberately, and write down everything in minute detail, and be very precise. If you do it, and really see that it's impossible, you have a chance that something will collapse. you have to write it down like this: at 10.03am i will arrive at the grocery store. You can't write it down like this: i will arrive at the grocery store before noon. you have to write it down like this: i will wake up at 8.00am. You can't write it down like this: i will wake up around 8:00am. You probably get the idea. Being very precise is key. Even if you don't do it like this, and go on with the taking 100% responsibility part, something has to collapse sooner or later. There is no way you can take 100% responsibility all day without getting smacked in the face by reality. Unless you walk around with you're eyes closed and ignore all the things that are not working out the way you wanted it that day. Big or small.
  8. Hey, i like this. But now you need to walk the talk. Or is all the confusion you had gone? 🧡
  9. What do you need focus and motivation for? Ah i see. But why do you need something like a life purpose? I don't know, is it?
  10. I'm not a woman . I wish i was tho, just for one day 😈. .
  11. Why do you want to quit porn?
  12. Here's another shock for you: santa is not real.