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About Shiva99

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  1. Yea, i'm doing that.
  2. I just face every situation that makes me anxious and uncomfortable. For instance: if i am scared to walk up to someone in public to ask them a question, i do it anyways no matter what. ( this helped me with my social anxiety in the past, but it's still there) I use this approach to all of my fears. If my mind tries to lure me out, i notice it and do it anyways.
  3. I wish i could attract a hot cougar. I want a sugar mommy. That would be so awesome right now. Go with her to Vegas and shit. That's what i want right now. I want to do some crazy partying etc. If i would be in the financial situation i would already be right there.
  4. I love this song so much. It makes me feel so alive.
  5. Over the past few weeks i've been facing a ton of my fears and insecurities head on. It took a lot of effort, keeping my feet to the fire at all times. It's exhausting, but at the same time it boosted my confidence like hell. The problem however, is that the fear is always coming back, no matter how much i face it. It's not going away. How do i make it stop? I literally want to live like a normal human being for once.
  6. Attacking my fears head on was working very good. For some reason i'm unable to keep going. I feel like my fear is winning from me again. I don't understand why this keeps happening to me. I need to keep going no matter what. I think i want to be at ease in all the situations that fear me too quickly. I'm expecting the fear to go away just after one time. Because all of this today i'm attacking a fear again. Only one fear on the menu today, but i will do it.
  7. I wish i was filthy rich for a week or something. I want to experience what it's like not having to care about my bank account. I know it won't fulfill me, but i want to experience it. I'm kinda sad today, because i would have been well off if i didn't have to cashout my money from crypto like 2 months ago. My coin did pretty much a 5x, which would mean i would have at least 5k today. 5k would totally change my life right now. I could literally move to the city i wanted to move to, and most likely get a job within a week or two. There are so many job offers over there, it's ridiculous.
  8. Since i stopped forcing myself to quit certain bad habits, or not allowing myself to do them even once something very interesting is happening. I'm actually masturbating much less, even when i don't really care about doing it or not. The same goes for porn etc. It's becoming irrelevant. The irrelevance of it is making the neurotic use of it vanish.
  9. I need to keep high vigilance of how my mind is trying to manipulate me into not doing something. It's crazy how it quickly comes up with all kinds of excuses, or self limiting beliefs about literally anything. I notice this a lot in everything, especially while hunting for jobs. If there is even a small thing on the application that makes me feel like i won't make a chance , my mind will literally block the possibility out instantly and wants me to not try. It's retarded. I need to get into a habit of just taking risks. Who cares what will happen?
  10. After saturday i kinda felt fucked up again. Some stuff happened, and for some reason i didn't feel good. Today i woke up feeling the same, but something happend and now i'm in a loving state again. I can't pinpoint what it is that i done, but i wish i did. It's so werid how that works. Right now 'im totally feeling amazing. It's so nice to get grounded in the present moment. Such difference. The constrast is insane.
  11. I have to get myself into a good financial situation. I need to think about how i can make a good amount of cash without doing a lot. I notice that now i'm stretching my comfortzone, i wanna do a lot more shit but the lack of money is honestly holding me back right now. It kinda sucks. In the past i used to have a good amount of money, but my anxiety was holding me back from doing shit, right now it's reversed. So annoying. Little bit annoyed with it atm.
  12. Decided to stop for groceries on my way home, and buy all the ingredients to cook a meal that i loved as a kid. It's been ages since i had this meal. I'm cooking it right now and already had a taste of it. It brings back so much memories. Amazing. It makes me so happy lol. I definitely need to do this more often. I have to add this to my list of loving things i can do for myself. I like cooking meals like this.
  13. The trip to the city was fun. Interestingly enough my anxiety got triggered a bit when i was eating and grabbig a coffee at a small local place. I've stretched my comfortzone so much lately, that it feels like there are no limits. I saw a lot of hot babes too, much much more than were i'm living right now. I can't wait to move here, it's gonna be epic. This is the perfect place to practice cold approach.
  14. Yes man, definitely the way to go. I was way to hard on myself for way too long. It was holding back my progress without me noticing it.