The issue of abuse on the forum

[Martin123]

I do not know which section to post this in, I am posting this in here as this section is the most frequented.

First let's quote the guidelines
 

Quote

NOTE: This is NOT an anything-goes free speech zone! You do NOT get to say toxic & fallacious things here with impunity. This community is regularly moderated to maintain high quality and civility. Trolls, exploiters, racists, ideologues, and devils are regularly banned. Remember that without moderation this community would be a toxic mess.

 

#1 Rule: Don't Be A Jerk
Speak to people with respect here. Be conscious and compassionate. Treat this place like a Zen temple, not a public toilet.

- - - - - - - - - -

Be here to learn, not to preach your opinions.

People who join this forum with a closed mind, with an intent to troll or to "debunk" spirituality, enlightenment, consciousness, Love, or God, or to parrot an ideology (including rationalism, atheism, skepticism, materialism, scientism, capitalism, libertarianism, etc.) will be banned. Be here with an open mind to learn from others who understand consciousness work much better than you. Consciousness work is extremely subtle and self-deceptive. Do not come here acting like you know better than everyone else. Do not act like you understand spirituality, enlightenment, or awakening when you haven't even had a single mystical experience. We will spot you and ban you for speaking about things you do not understand. This forum covers some very advanced and tricky subject matter. Hint: if it seems like everyone here is an idiot, that's a very good sign that you are the idiot.

Be mindful of your projections and gaslighting. If you consistently keep projecting your biases, judgments, misunderstandings, grudges, ignorance, and egoic issues onto forum members, you will quickly get banned.

I have personally witnessed several instances of gas lighting and rather abusive and aggressive tendencies on the forum in the past few days.
Namely it was in interactions with the users @remember and @BETGR164128.

As someone who comes from a narcissistic family, speaking up against abuse is one of the greatest tools that instigate healing for me. Often after speaking up, I go through experiences of releasing stored traumatic memories and intense emotional releases, and a rewiring of my nervous system. That is why I also understand the incredibly destructive nature of such behavior, and I do not understand why this type of behavior goes unnoticed by moderators. Yet I have even witnessed such behavior to be encouraged by moderators @Inliytened1. 
Not only is it a violation of the guidelines, but it is abuse that does actual emotional and psychological damage to psyches and nervous systems. If you were to see such behavior in person, it would be deemed inappropriate and intolerable by most. Yet it goes without any notice on the forum.

In my perception, further tolerance for such behavior only perpetuates denial and creates breeding grounds for more abuse, manipulation, confusion and pain. Only more distractions from genuine healing and the realizations of the spiritual path so many chose to explore here on the forum (as Leo said in the guidelines), on a forum that to many is almost like a 'Zen-temple', not a place to tolerate abuse.

To outline the threads I had in mind: 

 

 

 

Edited March 11, 2020 by Martin123

[Inliytened1]

@Martin123  if you have issues with the way we are moderating PM Leo directly.  

[Martin123]

First of all, @Inliytened1 , Leo's on a retreat.
2nd, as a moderator I trust you have the highest good of the forum and guidelines in mind, therefore I'd welcome you to link this post to him, or bring up the issue yourself, if you do believe this needs his attention.
To make it easier, I can mention Leo @Leo Gura. 

[Red-White-Light]

@Martin123 Sticks and Stones

[Inliytened1]

Just now, Martin123 said:

First of all, @Inliytened1 , Leo's on a retreat.
2nd, as a moderator I trust you have the highest good of the forum and guidelines in mind, therefore I'd welcome you to link this post to him, or bring up the issue yourself, if you do believe this needs his attention.
To make it easier, I can mention Leo @Leo Gura. 

He's checking messages.  But sure i will.  If you have an issue with a particular user (or me) simply message another moderator or Leo.

[remember]

@Martin123 i offer you to talk about the situation again if you want to. i don’t see the exact problem but you can tell me if you want to. i‘m also someone with a narcissist in my family so i would strike that equal. you are not exactly a person who holds back with harshness agains others equally - if i personally attacked you i will apologize. although i‘m reasonable i would like to know what exactly was the problem. i also don’t want to accuse you but you were criticizing three people before i singled you out for your own stress relieve, it was a ticking bomb so or so. that was the only situation were we had a dissonance. you project heavily into me - we can discuss that if you want to, but rather on a meta level.

for fairness i‘m also posting the thread:

 

 

Edited March 11, 2020 by remember

[IJB063]

Hey @Martin123

I see why you linked me this thread

But I'm not interested calling out anyone out in particular

1 hour ago, Red-White-Light said:

Sticks and Stones

I agree with this sentiment 

Edited March 11, 2020 by IJB063

[Martin123]

1 minute ago, IJB063 said:

Hey @Martin123

I see why you linked me this thread

But I'm not interested calling out anyone out in particular

I agree with this sentiment 

quite understandable, the least it can do is to offer perspective.

[Martin123]

2 minutes ago, IJB063 said:

Hey @Martin123

I see why you linked me this thread

But I'm not interested calling out anyone out in particular

I agree with this sentiment 

althought I will say that 'sticks and stone may break my bones, yet words will break my soul', is the correct version of the statement.

The wisdom of this version is not to perpetuate verbal abuse, that is as damaging as any other abuse.

[Martin123]

[Martin123]

[Chakra Lion]

@Martin123 ? Thank you for the reminder to keep our temple clean. 

[Martin123]

3 minutes ago, Chakra Lion said:

@Martin123 ? Thank you for the reminder to keep our temple clean. 

You are most welcome. Thank you for receiving it with warmth. <3 

[IJB063]

If we're playing the quotes game

If someones words can break your soul you have a weak soul

Edited March 11, 2020 by IJB063

[Martin123]

Just now, IJB063 said:

If we're playing the quotes game

 

Those statements can all be true, yet can cause damage when used in situations that perpetuate abuse.
Imagine saying this to a victim of rape, to the survivors of family that experienced a genocide, to the children who have lost their parents, or to little girls who have been molested.
Would you? 
If you wouldn't, don't waste your quotes in here, save them for later.

[IJB063]

@Martin123 I would, if I thought they could handle it

Because its the truth

Ignorance may be bliss but the truth will set you free

I believe if any victim of any injustice embraced those quotes they'd be better for it

[Martin123]

1 minute ago, IJB063 said:

@Martin123 I would, if I thought they could handle it

Because its the truth

Ignorance may be bliss but the truth will set you free

I believe if any victim of any injustice embraced those quotes they'd be better for it

Well, I'll just pray that victims will circle miles around you, and that in the meantime your heart softens so that other hearts may be healed as a result.

[IJB063]

@Martin123 They don't need to circle around me 

They just need to step outside their victim mentality and embrace life on lifes terms

[Martin123]

Just now, IJB063 said:

@Martin123 They don't need to circle around me 

They just need to step outside their victim mentality and embrace life on lifes terms

Oh but they do... they need to circle miles around this type of attitude if they are in any shape to be healed.

Embracing what happened to you has nothing to do with 'leaving victim mentality', if there was a situation where you were victimized, saying 'I was not a victim' ir 'I choose to leave victim mentality' is actually a form of denial, because acceptance embraces the truth. And the truth is that in what happened, the person was victimized. Perhaps the greatest difficulties any victim has is the tendency to blame themselves for what happened. And that's what you are perpetuating. Thus, disallowing them to heal and release the trauma trapped within their nervous system.

May your heart soften. no more discussion about this please. If you do have any questions, pm me, I won't respond to any more comments.

[IJB063]

@Martin123 Well I don't need you to respond, do whatever you want to do

I believe you misconstrued my point on victim mentality 

Of course you can be a victim, people can say mean things to you on the internet 

I'm sure we've all been victimized at some point in our lives

Its not a form of denial its form of acceptance

You should not blame yourself

You should accept what happened to you

There are two things in life

1 there are the kinds of things you can control

and

2 there are the kinds of things you can you can't control 

If you can control them don't complain or make yourself out to be a victim because YOU can change it

If you can't control it, embrace it, accept it, don't deny it, don't curse reality for making you a victim

Thank reality for the character developing moment and clarity of perspective 

You don't allow them to heal by stripping from them the control of their own minds by sheltering them from reality

7 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

May your heart soften

I don't know what you mean by this

I have compassion for all

Its because of that compassion I say that the best therapeutic solution is to accept life and not to complain