nudity, porn & masturbation, why are they still considered bad behavior?

[weareacouple]

First of all, we are a married couple of 25 years and sharing this profile and just because we have started a thread like this does not mean that we are looking for a hookup. Secondly, We have purposely put the subject matter in the title so if you are still reading this you are either interested in joining a discussion on the subject or at least listening as the rest of us discuss the subjects. We will be as open and honest as you want us to be so feel free to make any comments you would like and we will respond and maybe a friendly discussion will grow. We are both addicted to sex and when we are together the sex is great however we both travel aliot for our jobs (like she is this week) and when we are apart, we both use porn and masturbation extensively to get our needs met. When we discuss this with our friends (especially our Christian ones) many of them say that it is wrong and even cheating on our mate.  As far as nudity goes...we both believe that nudity was the plan from the beginning ang even that using clothing to hide the body is even NOT Biblical. We think it would probably be hypocritical to post this thread and hide behind a profile so we are posting our picture to let everyone know that we are serious about discussing the subjects. Hope to hear from you all. 

[Leo Gura]

Good God. You got enough tit there to sink the Titanic.

[Gili Trawangan]

13 minutes ago, weareacouple said:

We are both addicted to sex

This is your problem right here. Porn only reinforces the addiction. It's not a moral judgment of bad behavior, it's just that it causes craving and therefore suffering.

If your particular case is not like that, you're happy with it and it causes no issues for you both, then by all means continue and enjoy

[Leo Gura]

Nothing wrong with sex, but it is one of the lower joys of life.

Most people's lives involve: sleep, eat, shit, work, fuck.

There are higher ways to live.

An awakening beats an orgasm every time.

If you're pre-occupied with sex, you're stuck on living from chakra 2. Which is pretty low. At some point you'd be wise to outgrow that. Doesn't mean you have to stop having sex, but it just becomes less of a priority in your life.

Of course lots of people judge sexual openness because they suppress their own sexuality.

Also, peoples' sex drives differ. Some low, some high.

[Preety_India]

If anything is good or bad, it is only so when the intention behind it is nefarious. 

Till then it's all just moralistic bullshit. 

However true love is not just about sex but much more so I would be glad to know that you enjoy each other's company and love during the time you guys are not engaged in sex. 

It's only that most people who are into that sort of a lifestyle like porn, nudity, swingers lifestyle aren't into it with the most innocent intentions but for gratification, greed and money. And usually those relationships and lifestyles don't end well. So I wouldn't want to be involved in that kind of a lifestyle unless I can completely trust the other person. 

But when people follow any lifestyle with innocent intent and without greed or lust for money or selfishness/disregard then anything is absolutely fine. 

People are not to be blamed for their perceptions towards certain things. They say it out of observation, experience and sometimes out of ignorance. 

The important thing here is to do what you enjoy without caring for what others think.. 

 

[saish]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Nothing wrong with sex, but it is one of the lower joys of life.

Most people's lives involve: sleep, eat, shit, work, fuck.

There are higher ways to live.

An awakening beats an orgasm every time.

If you're pre-occupied with sex, you're stuck on living from chakra 2. Which is pretty low. At some point you'd be wise to outgrow that. Doesn't mean you have to stop having sex, but it just becomes less of a priority in your life.

Of course lots of people judge sexual openness because they suppress their own sexuality.

Also, peoples' sex drives differ. Some low, some high.

So what should one do to move up from lower chakra Leo ? I mean I think you should atleast get suffiecient amount of sex in the first place to make a transition right ?

[Derek White]

There is nothing wring with being greedy for sex, money, fame or whatever. The thing is it’s never enough.

[weareacouple]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Good God. You got enough tit there to sink the Titanic.

Hi Leo

I guess I can't blame you at all for saying that  LOL

[weareacouple]

1 hour ago, Johnny5 said:

Love it!

Interested to see where this thread goes.

well I guess we are ready to take it anywhere everyone want to go with it. Isn't that what a forum is all about 

[weareacouple]

1 hour ago, Gili Trawangan said:

This is your problem right here. Porn only reinforces the addiction. It's not a moral judgment of bad behavior, it's just that it causes craving and therefore suffering.

If your particular case is not like that, you're happy with it and it causes no issues for you both, then by all means continue and enjoy

just as a drunk desires their next drink so to does a sex addict desire their next climax. we both will admit that porn is just a tool we use to achieve our next climax. 

[weareacouple]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Nothing wrong with sex, but it is one of the lower joys of life.

Most people's lives involve: sleep, eat, shit, work, fuck.

There are higher ways to live.

An awakening beats an orgasm every time.

If you're pre-occupied with sex, you're stuck on living from chakra 2. Which is pretty low. At some point you'd be wise to outgrow that. Doesn't mean you have to stop having sex, but it just becomes less of a priority in your life.

Of course lots of people judge sexual openness because they suppress their own sexuality.

Also, peoples' sex drives differ. Some low, some high.

I think we are in a time right now that everyone wants to shame the other for having a different opinion or behavior. 

[weareacouple]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

If anything is good or bad, it is only so when the intention behind it is nefarious. 

Till then it's all just moralistic bullshit. 

However true love is not just about sex but much more so I would be glad to know that you enjoy each other's company and love during the time you guys are not engaged in sex. 

It's only that most people who are into that sort of a lifestyle like porn, nudity, swingers lifestyle aren't into it with the most innocent intentions but for gratification, greed and money. And usually those relationships and lifestyles don't end well. So I wouldn't want to be involved in that kind of a lifestyle unless I can completely trust the other person. 

But when people follow any lifestyle with innocent intent and without greed or lust for money or selfishness/disregard then anything is absolutely fine. 

People are not to be blamed for their perceptions towards certain things. They say it out of observation, experience and sometimes out of ignorance. 

The important thing here is to do what you enjoy without caring for what others think.. 

 

there are a lot of very good points here. We have a great time whatever we are doing and I think the 25 year marriage proves that. People say they are addicted to sex and so they can't help having cheating relationships however that is complete BS. Those people have a confidence problem and it is fed be seeking other people 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, weareacouple said:

there are a lot of very good points here. We have a great time whatever we are doing and I think the 25 year marriage proves that. People say they are addicted to sex and so they can't help having cheating relationships however that is complete BS. Those people have a confidence problem and it is fed be seeking other people 

You're absolutely right. I'm glad you have such a great marriage of 25 years. Rock on. 

Have a wonderful day! 

 

[weareacouple]

43 minutes ago, Derek White said:

There is nothing wring with being greedy for sex, money, fame or whatever. The thing is it’s never enough.

we will both admit that it is the addiction. we both have been sleeping in the nude since our relationship started and it is not because it is comfortable it is because if one or the other of use needs to feed their addicting they have an open invitation to use the other however they want to get their needs met. 

[weareacouple]

49 minutes ago, Derek White said:

There is nothing wring with being greedy for sex, money, fame or whatever. The thing is it’s never enough.

when people have addictions to all of those that you mentioned, you are right there is never enough

[Matt23]

If one's trying to be ethical, I think intentionality plays a big role.  Also the context (mostly in terms of sleeping with others who aren't your partner)

Communication, concern, honesty, integrity.

But, if you're not concerned about others and simply about getting laid, then cheating probably won't be a huge issue for you.

Maybe a baseline strategy is --->  If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.   ---> then maybe contemplate why later to learn some lessons and integrate.

 

Also, my tree planting foreman once told me, in terms of being ethical ---->  "Sometimes you gotta be bad to know how to be good."

 

[Leo Gura]

44 minutes ago, weareacouple said:

I think we are in a time right now that everyone wants to shame the other for having a different opinion or behavior. 

If you think people shame you for sex now, you haven't considered how it was like 100 years ago.

We live in the most shameless and sexually open time in human history. Not sure what more you need.

For a long time my most viewed video on YouTube was How To Make A Girl Squirt. And people mostly liked it.

[PenguinPablo]

i would look into tantra or karezza. A whole new world. Sounds like you guys really love each other  

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, saish said:

So what should one do to move up from lower chakra Leo ? I mean I think you should atleast get suffiecient amount of sex in the first place to make a transition right ?

All the spiritual practices I talk about.

If you're starved for sex, sure.

[weareacouple]

5 minutes ago, Matt23 said:

If one's trying to be ethical, I think intentionality plays a big role.  Also the context (mostly in terms of sleeping with others who aren't your partner)

Communication, concern, honesty, integrity.

But, if you're not concerned about others and simply about getting laid, then cheating probably won't be a huge issue for you.

Maybe a baseline strategy is --->  If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.   ---> then maybe contemplate why later to learn some lessons and integrate.

 

Also, my tree planting foreman once told me, in terms of being ethical ---->  "Sometimes you gotta be bad to know how to be good."

 

our guide lines are the each of us will not have sex with the opposite sex without the other being there. traveling as much as we do. that is sometimes very difficult however that is where the porn and masturbation come in. Since you all seem like pretty "cool" people and pretty excepting, I will go "full disclosure" here for the sake of the discussion and say that my wife left on her sales trip yesterday and I got home from the strip club about 10 last night and I stripped down and have been on a porn and jack off marathon ever since. I figure no one else is involved so no harm  Right ???