Voladores

Is it possible to skip steps in Maslow's hierarchy of needs?

18 posts in this topic

I was wondering is it possible to develop a decent personality if some of your needs at particular stages are unmet? Some sources even claim that it is inevitable to develop a mental illness or neurosis due to frustration. 

Personally I have difficulties in meeting some of my needs. And the older I get the harder it seems to even try. 

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@Voladores

Do whatever works for you. Maslow's hierarchy is based on happy and successful people so you might miss out on some things but we are all unique and we can make up for it in other areas.


I have an opinion on everything :D

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@JustThinkingAloud I always tend to think that when an authoritative psychologist has some theory on how to lead a happy life, and I don't meet the requirements, I'm doomed. So it seems these theories are not carved in stones and I don't have to feel guilty for not following the correct path towards conventional happiness. Am I right?

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18 minutes ago, Voladores said:

@JustThinkingAloud I always tend to think that when an authoritative psychologist has some theory on how to lead a happy life, and I don't meet the requirements, I'm doomed. So it seems these theories are not carved in stones and I don't have to feel guilty for not following the correct path towards conventional happiness. Am I right?

Yes, you're right. All you need to do is to follow YOUR path to happiness! We are all unique, different things work for us. Don't let anyone dictate what you should and shouldn't do to make yourself happy.


I have an opinion on everything :D

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@JustThinkingAloud I think I will take time to get used to new ways of thinking. Still, it hurts when not only society expects you to behave in particular ways, but also your parents, when you struggle to meet their idea of what you should be. 

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3 minutes ago, Voladores said:

@JustThinkingAloud I think I will take time to get used to new ways of thinking. Still, it hurts when not only society expects you to behave in particular ways, but also your parents, when you struggle to meet their idea of what you should be. 

It's your life not your parents life. I don't know anything about your parents but usually they try to help out of love but they don't realise that times have changed. Sometimes, they forget that their lessons in life are different to new generations lessons. If they really love you, all they want for you is to be happy and live your life the way you want and learn your own lessons. Also, the progress of society is based on people doing things differently, don't worry about society, worry about what works for you.


I have an opinion on everything :D

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@JustThinkingAloud I'm afraid I became neurotic due to my upbringing. My parents were emotionally unavailable. But I think the only thing left for me is to fight for my freedom, though it will cause intense feelings of alienation. 

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@Voladores What do you think is stopping you from fulfilling your needs in life? What needs are not being met in your opinion? What do you consider a need?

 

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I woudn't worry about it. Society, culture, influences from peers, upbringing, etc are more than enough to deconstruct. You don't need another model to be anxious about :D Besides, that hierachy model is not set in stone. As others have said, everybody's different and everybody has different needs.

Although do take the time to figure out what works for you. It may take a while and you may need to experiment a lot but in the end, it'll be worth it. You'll know what you need to work on, where you should go, what you're lacking, etc.

/ Also, watch out for spiritual bypass. Let's say you have some emotional issues (lack of self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, childhood trauma and so on) and saying "oh, it doesn't really matter, I just should let it go, I should just ignore my ego, all is one anyway, yada yada" does not work.

Edited by nistake

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3 hours ago, Voladores said:

I was wondering is it possible to develop a decent personality if some of your needs at particular stages are unmet? Some sources even claim that it is inevitable to develop a mental illness or neurosis due to frustration. 

Personally I have difficulties in meeting some of my needs. And the older I get the harder it seems to even try. 

What needs did you want to skip, if you don't mind my asking? 

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Those studies are based on statistics most of the time, so there's your answer 

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33 minutes ago, Voladores said:

@Consept Belonging and close relationships, mostly. 

6 hours ago, Voladores said:

I was wondering is it possible to develop a decent personality if some of your needs at particular stages are unmet? Some sources even claim that it is inevitable to develop a mental illness or neurosis due to frustration. 

Personally I have difficulties in meeting some of my needs. And the older I get the harder it seems to even try. 

The thing is if you genuinely didn't need it, say because of your personality type or whatever then you could transcend it, but the fact that you're worried about it leads me to think that close relationships and belonging is something you want but you're fearful that you won't get it as you haven't yet. If the motivation is fearful then youre trying to avoid rather than transcend which means you will push it down but it will still be within you. Think about if you did this with most of the pyramid, would you say you've ascended to self-actualization or have you just avoided a lot of stuff you needed to really address? 

This thing is a journey and it isn't always fun facing fears but it is rewarding once you start to see progress. My advice would be to look at why you want to skip the steps that you do, is it self-belief? Can you challenge it? Make steps to develop closer relationships, embrace that challenge, if it doesn't work for whatever reason and you know you've truly put effort into it, then it will be easier to transcend anyway, so it's win-win 

 

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On 11/19/2019 at 10:17 AM, Voladores said:

I was wondering is it possible to develop a decent personality if some of your needs at particular stages are unmet? Some sources even claim that it is inevitable to develop a mental illness or neurosis due to frustration. 

Personally I have difficulties in meeting some of my needs. And the older I get the harder it seems to even try. 

The map is not a fixed rule. You go and hack itit how ever you want. Strategise. 

This year I will not have sex and video games, but becaouse this  I will earn money, then I will have the time to have sex. Just an idea. 

I hacked the map. I studied/worked my ass off in last 3 years (spirituality and LP), and now is time to make money, become fameous, and make love to the world! (Stage Orange, Achiever mode Enlightenment lol)

 

Strategy - Priority - Long term thinking 

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An old thread, The OP’s last visit to the forum was n 2019.

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