Is it wrong/ inauthentic to approach someone just because you feel lonely?

[oMarcos]

Neediness and craving on someone is seen as a terrible thing, but let's assume that you lack friends to interact with, or you want to approach a particular girl, but you approach from this mindset of mental isolation where you just wanna feel some relief for human contact, is that an automatic turn off? Because life circumstances can often lead someone to this position, and it's really easy for someone socially fulfield to judge...

[oMarcos]

And yes,  I made this thread cause I feel alone af, and maybe nobody will answer because I am being needy. "Ta da"

[Leo Gura]

Dude, don't be so hard on yourself.

If you feel lonely there's nothing wrong with finding some people to socialize with. In a sense that lonely feeling is telling you: "Hey dummy! You should socialize more!"

What's inauthentic is desiring to socialize with someone but then not doing it out of fear that they will reject you. The authentic thing would be to walk over and say, "Hey, I was looking for a new friend and I saw you. So here I am. Please don't reject me or I will have to hang myself in my mother's basement with her vacuum cleaner cord."

BE MORE VULNERABLE WITH STRANGERS!

[Devi Shanti]

16 hours ago, oMarcos said:

And yes,  I made this thread cause I feel alone af, and maybe nobody will answer because I am being needy. "Ta da"

If all you guys that feel alone in this forum become friends, you would be a community ?

[Moreira]

if you feel lonely nobody will fulfill you and you'll end up unhappy. First is to adress the cause and learn to be happy with yourself. Then from a place of abundance, feeling complete you can approach somebody and build a healthy relationship.

All  needy relationships end wrong because they're based in dependency.

[oMarcos]

Powerful insights from all of you. Thank you.

[Ananta]

On 9/26/2019 at 10:38 AM, Devi Shanti said:

If all you guys that feel alone in this forum become friends, you would be a community ?

True, but I once asked a "lonely" guy on here about just that (talking to other guys here that are lonely) he said, no, I "only" want to talk to girls, not guys.  So, not sure if the OP feels the same or not?

[oMarcos]

16 hours ago, Anna1 said:

True, but I once asked a "lonely" guy on here about just that (talking to other guys here that are lonely) he said, no, I "only" want to talk to girls, not guys.  So, not sure if the OP feels the same or not?

@Anna1 I think most of the people who claim to feel "alone" here are due to lack of intimacy (either virtual or face to face), and there is a difference between being intimate with a guy vs with a girl.  But the good news is, I found that the problem is also in the fear I have with expressing myself to strangers (as Leo said) and I think that's a huge start. Just express yourself and do not fear

Edited September 29, 2019 by oMarcos

[Aeris]

You seams cool though.

Stop the self talk tchitchatcha and try to have good time with human around.

Too much questions before even practicing is only loading the mind with self failure prophecy.

You don't need lot of Friend you need one or two that work with you. Then it Always kind of expand and the problem start to be. How can I keep close with all of them.

 

[Ananta]

1 hour ago, oMarcos said:

@Anna1 I think most of the people who claim to feel "alone" here are due to lack of intimacy (either virtual or face to face), and there is a difference between being intimate with a guy vs with a girl.  But the good news is, I found that the problem is also in the fear I have with expressing myself to strangers (as Leo said) and I think that's a huge start. Just express yourself and do not fear

Yes, I see. 

Hm, do you also have social anxiety? Seems alot of ppl on here do. I couldn't even imagine since I'm a natural extrovert. However, I "chose" to not have many friends, but I can socialize and even talk to strangers often.

Edited September 29, 2019 by Anna1

[Ananta]

@oMarcos Anyways, I dont think I answered your question. Sorry.

No, I dont think it's wrong. I think you could make a connection with someone or maybe just pass the time either way is fine. You'd be socializing. That's normal.

Edited September 29, 2019 by Anna1

[Elham]

@Devi Shanti nice 

[Shadowraix]

Baby steps. As Leo said, if you feel you need to socialize, then do it. Its not wrong or inauthentic at all.

Fake it until you make isn't a good way of explaining how setting intent works imo. Its giving yourself positive energy and love. Don't use it as a means to put a mask on.

Learning to be ok with loneliness is a good step, its a much bigger step that takes time. Don't feel bad if you can't figure it out in a day, or even a year.

Pushing yourself is great and all, but doing it too far too quickly will just hurt you.