mandyjw

Emotional mastery after awakening?

31 posts in this topic

In the end of Leo's "How Fear Works" Part 2 he says that mastering your emotions is harder than waking up. 

The topic of emotional mastery keeps coming up lately. I spent years working to master my emotions and made huge progress in my life and as a person. I thought that enlightenment WAS emotional mastery. At first I repressed my emotions and had a few blow ups but I learned to go into the emotions and go into feeling them in my body and I thought that I had learned how to work through the repression problem. I got really good at this, and life demanded that I had to be. I could handle my son's autistic meltdowns like a pro, I could handle nearly anything life threw at me, or so I thought. I didn't understand that I had demonized my emotions and I had tried to control them, not master them. They were like children obeying me out of fear, not love. 

I started going backwards, strange things happened in my life and learning about the law of attraction was a huge missing piece that made puzzle pieces fall into place faster than ever before.  During my awakening, I saw that my ego had split itself, it was the very thing pointing the finger at and rejecting itself. The awakening was stunning... and disruptive as fuck. It took weeks to get my life back together and I acted out all kinds of things I had been repressing. 

In other words emotional mastery and all my work went out the window. Then I was left realizing that I had a LOT of work to put the pieces back together, this time understanding that emotional mastery did NOT MEAN absence of emotions. 

I guess this means that you can have your cake and eat it too? You are here to feel. You are here to follow your heart, follow your bliss, and experience bliss. Yet you are also here to be wise and to see that wisdom is the greatest deepest pleasure that can be found. The tricky thing is that the bad stuff isn't what it seems. You can break through the illusion of pain or depression through acceptance, or you can appreciate them and use them to guide you to where you are meant to be. 

I would really love to hear your thoughts and insights on this. What is true emotional mastery, and what does it look like? 

Is enlightenment feeling the deepest depths of emotion fully and also being as master of them? How do we move from a relationship to our emotions of control to love? 


Light on Earth The power of love came into me,
and I became fierce like a lion,
then tender like the evening star.” - Rumi

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1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

Is enlightenment feeling the deepest depths of emotion fully and also being as master of them? How do we move from a relationship to our emotions of control to love? 

First, we're bullied by our emotions and react to them through projection and denial.
Then, we learn about that and try to repress them to gain clarity.
When it fails, we actually listen to them and learn what we are.

 

What if they teach a lesson and are gone after you've got it?

Edited by tsuki

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@mandyjw In the Zen tradition, there's a huge distance from Kensho to Samadhi. One can have Kenshos very early but still be vulnerable to emotional/conceptual drawbacks. And this also happens in this community.

Samadhi is when you master Kensho as well as a lot of other things (emotional mastery included). For this more advanced stuff I'd recommend listening to more experienced practitioners. By more experienced I mean people with 40+ years of experience.


unborn Truth

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Probably not related to your question, but I am interested to where you stand now in terms of emotional mastery?

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Enlightenment is a realization.

Emotional mastery is a skill.

The skill certainly helps to get the realization, but these are two separate things.


Knowing is not enough. We must apply.
Willing is not enough. We must do. 

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2 hours ago, tsuki said:

What if they teach a lesson and are gone after you've got it?

They do... I have hunch that they may transform? into something deeper, beyond emotion, beyond description... rather than disappear.

@ajasatya Thanks, do you have any specific teachers you recommend?

2 hours ago, Tistepiste said:

Probably not related to your question, but I am interested to where you stand now in terms of emotional mastery?

Hmm... The awakening allowed me to see through fear and completely see fear as an illusion to be laughed at. Yet, I see how I would not want to live that way all the time. So I appreciate fear yet know it as an illusion. I'm back to a level a lot like I was at before the awakening. I'm experiencing a lot of highs and bliss states that are much stronger than before, a high level of excitement for life but also some lack of direction and experience some low grade frustrations. One of my biggest challenges was a loss of focus, I'm lucky to be self employed and have a business that I could do the bare minimum to maintain. I've gone back to working, am really inspired to do my work again and I have my life (fairly) organized again.  I've become really good at noticing when I'm feeling off and I'm good about taking time to do what I need to do to interrupt that downward spiral. My go to is going outside in nature and getting sunlight so I'm interested to see how I do when winter comes and I have to embrace the darkness. I understand my own psyche a lot better and on a much deeper level thanks to the awakening so I also have better tools to understand my own emotional states.

 

Edited by mandyjw

Light on Earth The power of love came into me,
and I became fierce like a lion,
then tender like the evening star.” - Rumi

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15 hours ago, ajasatya said:

@mandyjw Adyashanti

Yes!

@mandyjw Interesting topic. Thank you for bringing it up. A lot of people think that enlightenment is only about thoughts (masculine). They tend to forget the importance of the feminine, which is emotions. Each of these must be worked out and carved very carefully or we will become Zen-devils.

 

Edited by Truth Addict

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@mandyjw @mandyjw @mandyjw @mandyjw

There shouldnt be any traces of shame,guilt,fear,likes,dislikes,aversion,hatred,anger,rage,selfishness,attachment.

There shouldnt be any Impatience,anxiety,tension,restlessness,

No aversion to good smell bad smell.

No aversion to taste of food - like dislike.

There shouldnt be any craving for taste.

Equanimity,peace,calmness,tolerance irrespective of situations.

Putting oneself to test of truth is the key.

Begging as mendicant.No more than 3 begging at a time.If no response in all three accept that dont take food that time.

No food no water on selective days.

Sleeping in the road side.cleaning public toilets.Service to patients old people.

Go for Service with out or little money. 

Service with out any expectations with out any expectation of appreciation or praise or any kind words.Accepting the results outcome of work,service as Gods will.

Bearing insult with out any anger grudge.

Doing the work perfectly mindfully with out any inner resistance,procrastination,laziness.

Treating all work equally.Treating all people equally.

Clear distinct between needs and greed,desires,pride,vanity.

--- Emotions must not appear thats emotional mastery.

This is my understanding so for.

-- I am yet to awake and what I mentioned are sample practical instructions practices so let us see how it goes and to what extent I can stand for test for Truth - after Enlightenment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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11 minutes ago, Jkris said:

@mandyjw @mandyjw @mandyjw @mandyjw

--- Emotions must not appear thats emotional mastery.

Nope.

5 minutes ago, hamedsf said:

Enlightenment is Emotional Mastery

Nope, not what most people refer to.

...

People usually refer to detachment as equal to enlightenment, but that's not true. Enlightenment is also fully engagement with the mundane world without being unconsciously tricked/trapped/attached/addicted to it. The pleasure that comes from this engagement can beat a samadhi.

That would be enlightenment.

(I don't need to say everytime that it's just my opinion).

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@Truth Addict I am not enlightened.And so I dont know and I cannot say anything about what you say.

Its a traditional practice most enlightened undergo - time tested.

Suffering and pleasure are both sides of the same coin.

If one is after pleasure its quiet natural to suffer - thats my understanding so for.

But keeping this open till I realize and experience what you say.

 

 

Edited by Jkris

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33 minutes ago, Jkris said:

@Truth Addict 

If one is after pleasure its quiet natural to suffer - thats my understanding so for.

That's why I say that the intellectual (masculine) enlightenment is based in fear.

The feminine enlightenment knows no fear, it takes the suffering and turn it into creation. That's the nature of the female, if it isn't obvious!

Edited by Truth Addict

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41 minutes ago, Jkris said:

He's talking about seeking pleasure before enlightenment. Not living in bliss after enlightenment. It's possible, though, to be at bliss without having to suffer. Suffering is optional.

I don't agree at all that the ultimate way to live is by sitting still in meditation, at least not until many more thousands of years of delusion.

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“After” awakening creates a tough duality to content with, best let go. No offense, awakened one.

🤭


  Nonduality & Meditations  Now

   “ ...every revolutionary act, is an act of love...”  - Zach de la Rocha

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6 minutes ago, Nahm said:

“After” awakening creates a tough duality to content with, best let go. No offense, awakened one.

🤭

Good call. 

 


Light on Earth The power of love came into me,
and I became fierce like a lion,
then tender like the evening star.” - Rumi

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@mandyjw Thank you, final authority on awakening, enlightenment, and emotional mastery. Means a lot to me. You know I love a good story.

Right can be wrong, up can be down, left is never always right, but the other end of the stick is the other end of the stick, because you’re holding it. 

Wanted can not be unwanted, unwanted can not be wanted, yet expansion, and those pesky dots, keep you on your game. 

What says them?

- you do.

 


  Nonduality & Meditations  Now

   “ ...every revolutionary act, is an act of love...”  - Zach de la Rocha

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@Nahm I see you.

 

bircheye.jpg


Light on Earth The power of love came into me,
and I became fierce like a lion,
then tender like the evening star.” - Rumi

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27 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@mandyjw You know I love a good story.

How do I know which one to write? 


Light on Earth The power of love came into me,
and I became fierce like a lion,
then tender like the evening star.” - Rumi

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